Chapter Fourteen Sera
Chapter Fourteen
Sera
On Thursday, I meet Luke at the marina just before one, but as I walk down the dock toward his boat, Adam and Oliver are nowhere in sight. Luke is standing on the dock still, cell phone to his ear, an exasperated look on his face. As I get closer, I can hear him answering in terse one-word replies.
“Sure. Yeah. Okay. Did you tell Mom?”
He sees me and shrugs an apology as he pulls the phone away from his ear and mouths, My dad. I nod and let him finish, dropping my bag into the boat.
“I heard you,” he snaps. “You tell Mom. That’s not my job.”
His brothers spent the last few days with their dad, and he was supposed to bring them back to Northport today, but it sounds like something’s changed.
“Sorry,” he says to me, sighing. “I gotta call my mom quick.”
“It’s okay,” I say as I take careful steps down the slip and climb onto the boat, sitting on the edge. Luke calls Paula and tells her that he doesn’t have the boys because his dad decided last-minute to get them tickets to a bouncy castle fair out near his place and keep them for another night.
“Yeah. I guess he’s trying,” Luke mutters. “Okay, see you later.”
He hangs up and groans, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes.
“Do you want to reschedule?” I ask, not sure how to help. I’m used to my parents’ bickering over little things, but it’s always just between them. It’s strange to see Luke mad at his dad, who he used to idolize.
“No, I still want to go out. Do you?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.
“Yeah, it’ll be nice. Like old times, right?”
His shoulders relax. “Yeah, great. We can head out to the sandbars off Sandy Neck. Go swimming?”
“Sounds great.”
Luke joins me in his dad’s old boat. It’s a twenty-one-foot motorboat with a front bench and a couple seats at the back, and a tiny shade top over the captain’s chair.
Luke and I fight with the sunshade until it’s up.
I secure the cooler Luke brought in the back.
I peek inside, finding snacks I know the boys would love, plus some sour candy he must have gotten for me. The gesture makes me smile.
Luke starts up the boat, and I unhook us from the dock.
We push off, falling into a rhythm as I remember what to do.
When Luke and I were little, we’d come out with his dad almost every weekend, taking our deckhand duties way too seriously and helping him catch fish for dinner, so everything comes back to me easily.
Per tradition, we wave at the old empty lighthouse that leans off the edge of a rocky outcrop.
As we pick up speed, I pull out my sketchbook and sit up front.
Facing Luke, I start sketching out his face, his hands on the wheel, the way the dark water behind him is cut through by the wake of the boat.
I finish the sketch as he maneuvers us into a spot above the bright sandbar where we can drop the anchor.
Luke makes sure we’re secure, then climbs up front to sit with me, carrying a couple seltzers.
“What are you drawing?” he asks, sitting against the front of the helm. I flip my sketchbook around and show him. He leans in and takes it from me, his face a carefully composed neutral expression.
“Wow, Sera, you’ve gotten even better. You did this in twenty minutes?” I smile, pleased, and take the sketchbook back.
“Thanks. Your face was hard to get with the shield in the way, though. Sit still.”
He smirks at me. “I didn’t agree to be your subject.”
“Too bad,” I say.
“You’re going to capture my worst angles, aren’t you?”
I snort. “Yeah right, like you have any.” It just comes out. I feel my cheeks flush, but Luke just grins in response, his eyes crinkling, and leans back.
“Okay, do your worst, Watkins.”
I flip to a fresh page and start blocking out the shape of his eyes and nose and lips. Luke fidgets. He pulls his phone out and asks what music I want. I shrug.
“What about one of the Druid Detox podcasts?” he asks. “I haven’t listened to the new one.”
“Me either.”
Luke hits play and puts his phone in the shade beside him.
The podcast covers everything known or suspected about The Soul Druid Chronicles, and the new prequel is the subject of the day.
“I can’t believe they don’t like the connected backstories.” Luke shakes his head as they hit a commercial break. I look up from my sketch to agree.
“Seriously. I thought it was brilliant. We always wondered, right?”
“Exactly. Like in book seven of the first series when—”
“Icari has the fever dream and wakes up—”
“And can’t remember Thepha! Thepha?!”
“But he recognizes her face.”
“And we already know he’s a reincarnation, so she had to be too—”
“But that she’s the reincarnation of Aetha?!”
“Brilliant,” Luke agrees. “How’s my face?” He reaches out and takes the sketchbook from me.
“Rough,” I say, even though I’m really happy with it already.
“Brilliant,” Luke says again, a little softer, running his thumb across the swoop of his dark hair on the page.
“You’re going to get that fellowship for sure.
I’ll miss you all over again next summer.
” He hands the sketchbook back and stands up.
Then he peels off his shirt and tosses it on the captain’s chair.
“Haven’t you been making anything new recently?” I ask as I start to slide off my shorts. I feel a little self-conscious in just my bathing suit. It’s new—a bright red one-piece that Abbi said makes my butt look like a peach.
“Not really,” Luke admits, swinging his legs around the side of the boat to dip his feet in the water.
I climb over next to him and hope the water isn’t too cold.
“I’ve done a few posters for the town, and the events board paid for me to go to the International Poster Gallery in Boston last summer before it closed. ”
“It’s closed?”
“Yeah, the guy retired or something. You can still see their stuff online.”
“But it’s not the same,” I say, understanding the loss. “How was it?”
“Awesome.” He laughs. “I went full nerd on the 1940s exhibit.” He gives me a quick, unsure glance. “I almost stopped by to see if you wanted to go with me,” he admits.
“Hmm,” I say. I don’t know how I would’ve handled that surprise visit. “Sounds like I missed out.”
“You’re right about that,” he says, and stands up, wobbling a bit on the edge of the boat as it adjusts to his quick movement.
“Careful!” I shout, clinging to the edge so I don’t fall in.
“Take cover!” Luke jumps and cannonballs into the water. The splash soaks my legs. I stand up and follow him. The water is a cool balm to the hot sun, and we play a half-hearted game of tag before I finally catch him. His shoulder is hot and firm under my grip.
“Race you back to the boat?” he challenges me, his eyes playful.
“First one gets the whole pack of sour worms to themselves,” I warn him.
“Deal. Three, two, one.” Luke takes off before he says go, and I scramble away from the shallow sandbar after him. I win only because I come around on the side with the ladder. Luke grabs my ankle, and we’re both heaving, laughing as we crawl toward the cooler.
“Fine, I’ll share, I’ll share,” I say, to get him to let go. He releases me after a beat, the skin on my leg tingling where his fingers were.
We grab the candy and lay out our towels in the sun to finish listening to the podcast. I work on my sketch, and Luke tells me more about his plans for community college and his mom’s business now that his dad is out of the picture.
“It just makes sense for me to stick around here and help out with the store,” he says. It sounds like he’s defending himself against an argument I haven’t actually made yet.
“And that’s what you want to do?” I ask, looking over at him. His eyes are closed and his brows knit together at the question. I want to reach over and smooth out the crease.
“It is,” he says. He opens his eyes and looks at me. “For now.” His lips turn up in a small smile, but his eyes don’t look happy. Before I can say anything else, Luke hops up. “You hungry? Want to head back and grab pizza at Dockside?”
“Sure,” I say.
Luke starts up the engine, and we head back toward Northport. He increases the speed, and I squeal as my hair whips around me.
“Slow down!” I shout through my laughter.
“Chicken!” he says, but he slows anyway.
At the dock, Luke expertly ties up the boat to the worn wooden post. We walk side by side to Dockside’s to-go window.
The owner always donates free pizza to the blood drive, so I make sure to tip extra.
Slices secured, I lead the way to the end of the dock, stepping over the rope holding an ancient Residents Only sign that’s only there to scare off nonlocals.
We find an empty slip and sit with our feet hanging over the water.
Luke is quiet, watching the boats moving in and out of the harbor.
I finish my first slice and put my plate down.
“That was really fun. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Of course,” he says, meeting my eyes. “I had fun too. Even if you are a wimp about going fast.”
I scoff and slap his arm. “Sorry I don’t have a death wish!”
Luke smiles. He looks down at his pizza, then back up at me. “But really,” he says, “thanks for coming. Going out on the boat has been weird ever since…”
“Your dad…”
Luke nods but doesn’t elaborate. I take the opportunity to ask what I should’ve asked years ago.
“Are you ready to tell me about what happened with your parents?”
He sighs, looks off to the left where another boat has just pulled in. I take a bite of my pizza and chew slowly, patiently.
“My dad cheated on my mom,” Luke says finally, not meeting my eyes.
“Maddy said she thought that was it. But that’s not all. Right?”
Luke shakes his head. “I’m the one that caught him.” His voice is a strained whisper, both angry and sad.
“Luke, I’m—” I start.
“Don’t be sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “Thing is…I made it worse.”
“No way. That can’t be true. Nothing he did is your fault.”
“I didn’t tell my mom right away. I didn’t know what to do.”
“When did you catch him?”
Luke studies my face like he’s not sure if he should share whatever he wants to say next.
“Two summers ago. Three days before you left.”
My heart sinks. The day we were supposed to meet at our beach. The day my heart began to fail.
“He asked me to keep quiet because he wanted to tell her. But I only lasted a week, and when I told her she was devastated. They tried to work it out for a while, but she said she’d lost all trust in him.
The divorce shit was the worst, all these stupid little fights over money and where we would live. ”
We’re quiet for a beat as I rack my brain, thinking of what to say.
“Fuck” is all that comes out of my mouth.
Luke laughs. Sudden and loud.
“What?!” I ask, laughing along with him.
“Nothing, just, I don’t think I’ve heard you swear like that before. But yeah…fuck.”
The moment sits lightly between us, and Luke takes the opportunity to keep talking.
“I know I wasn’t easy to deal with that summer, but they’d never fought before, and I really needed you.”
“I know.” I swallow and take a long, deep breath, the words on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t want them to sound like an excuse.
We’re quiet for a little longer. I watch the shadows dance on the water as a small group of minnows swims by, terns following in the purpling sky above.
“The first time I went out on the boat without my dad, Oliver fell over,” Luke says, breaking the silence. “I wasn’t paying attention, and he was too close to the edge when I made a sharp turn.”
“Yikes. That must have been terrifying.”
“Yeah. I freaked. If Izzy hadn’t been there, it would’ve taken me way longer to get him. I completely blanked on how to turn back when it happened.”
I try not to feel jealous at the mention of Izzy’s name, but the feeling blooms in my stomach anyway. Luke is watching me carefully while I squirm. He doesn’t miss much, I think.
“I’m glad she was there,” I say.
He runs a hand through his windswept hair.
“Me too. Izzy…she’s a good friend. She was there when my parents were fighting. She listened, but she also didn’t let me get away with any bullshit,” he says with a sad smile.
I think about Maddy accepting my diagnosis and not treating me any differently. My eyes well a little. “I know people like that. They’re really great to have around.”
“No kidding. I almost didn’t sign up for baseball again senior year, and she tore me a new one.” He laughs. “Said something about how I could grow up once I was done with high school.”
“I’m liking her more and more,” I say.
“I knew you would,” he says, meeting my eyes.
“Okay,” I say. I look out at the water, the harbor entry lights flashing on their buoys. I hear the tinny sound of ’90s classic rock coming from one of the boats down the dock. “But she’s not your best friend, right? Because that’s my job,” I say with a smirk.
“You were.” He leans forward, pulling his knees up and resting his arms across them. “Why did you stop?”
“I didn’t,” I try slowly. “I just…I got scared,” I admit. This is the closest I’ve come to talking about the night I bailed on him and then found him with Izzy. I meet his gaze and ask the next thing. “Why did you ask me to meet you at our beach?” I say quietly.
It’s his turn to pause, consider his words. I watch him swallow, rub his palms against his eyes.
“I don’t know,” he says at last, looking away.
“I don’t believe you,” I push. I want him to say the full truth, and then I can finally off-load mine.
Luke scooches closer, his injured knee touching my thigh. His hand comes to rest with just his thumb over mine on the damp wood. I don’t flinch away. My heart races, and every little edge of the hope I’ve tried to scratch out of my heart strains to fill itself in.
“I—” Luke starts, but then his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out. Izzy’s face lights up the screen. “I need to go,” he says, leaning away again.
“Really?” I ask, unable to keep the snark out of my voice.
“Yeah.” He looks back up at me, apologetic. “We made plans.”
“Fine.” I stand up, balling my paper plate.
“Sera.”
“It’s fine,” I say, managing to sound normal, but he hesitates.
“Really,” I say. “I should get going anyway. Camp tomorrow. And Jackson’s back from Nantucket tomorrow too. I’ll see you at the blood drive this weekend.”
Before he can say anything else, I leave, my footsteps echoing down the dock.
I feel tears well in my eyes and wipe them away angrily.
Friends? Yeah right. I can’t stop feeling like it’s supposed to be more, and that just keeps getting in the way.
I need a reality check. I need to move the fuck on. I don’t have any more time to waste.