Chapter Twenty-Four Sera
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sera
When Monday rolls around, I’m a lot better, but Luke doesn’t drop me at work. Instead, he hangs around while the kids are checking in and quickly becomes too engrossed to leave.
“You don’t have to stay,” I say as Rose and another girl from the softball team pull him over to the clay bucket.
They’re begging him to scoop huge pieces for them like he did for a couple other kids.
We’re doing slab pottery this week. They’ll make their pieces today, then glaze them on Wednesday so I can fire them before they do presentations on Friday.
“I want to,” he says, his hands smeared with rusty wet slip. “I like being back here. It makes me want to work on my own stuff more, which you keep telling me to do.”
I almost call him out. He’s been so resistant to working on anything for longer than one session.
I’m getting tired of sneaking his crumpled-up work out of the garbage and stealing his posters off the window at the shop before they get taken down.
I know he just wants to hang around and watch me because I’m looking off, and because Abbi told him yesterday was a bad day.
There wasn’t enough cold water on the Cape to make the purple bags under my eyes go away this morning, so it wasn’t like I could say she was making it up.
I want to tell him to go. Go hang out with Maddy, who actually has the day off, or his teammates before they’re all off to school or their full-time jobs.
But I also selfishly want as much time with him as I can get.
I reach out and wipe a streak of clay off his cheek.
“Okay,” I say with a shrug, “you can stay.” Rose, who’s been pretending not to listen, jumps and claps her hands once so loud with excitement that everyone jumps.
I have to laugh. “I guess that’s a consensus, then.
Okay, everyone. Mr. Luke is joining us today.
” A swell of cheers goes up. “If you need help getting clay from the big bucket, please ask him. And please treat him like we treat all teachers here at Blue Honeybee.”
There’s an adorable chorus of “Yes, Miss Sera” that makes my heart swell before they get back to work.
With Luke there, the day flies by. There are some tears at checkout, so I have to promise he’ll be there for a little bit on Friday, too, before Rose will leave with her mom, who’s trying not to laugh.
“She has a little crush,” she admits to me as Luke bends down and promises Rose he’ll be back.
“We’re all glad to have you teaching this summer, Sera.
And it’s been so wonderful to see Luke have some fun again.
” I look at her, a little surprised, and she gently taps my elbow.
“Rose is in Oliver’s class, and Paula and I are close.
She worries about him.” She gives me a knowing smile and pulls Rose away.
“Bye, Miss Sera! Bye, Coach Luke!” Rose says, eyes still red but her worries forgotten, as she skips off ahead of her mom, already asking if they can go for ice cream.
I’m still thinking about what Rose’s mom said when Luke comes over and asks if I want to stay and do some painting. Am I any good for Luke, long-term? Who knows what’s going to happen with my health, and I don’t want to become another thing he feels responsible for, like his family.
I turn the problem over carefully, keeping it at arm’s length in my mind, as we walk over to the open studio. It’s just stopped raining, and as the sun comes back out, steam radiates off the warm ground. Luke takes my hand and I think how loved I feel, how held, with such a simple touch.
In the studio, we set up at our usual spots.
I pull out my third self-portrait and Luke sets up another fresh sheet of paper.
We fall into silence and light chatter as we work.
I’m starting to think that this one might finally almost be done, so I pull out the other two finished ones and stare at them all together.
They’re feeling really strong, cohesive, as Iris would say.
I take a photo and send it to her, then roll my stiff neck.
I go stand behind Luke to see what he’s doing.
I’m floored by his drawing. A lean heron stepping one foot out of the marsh, like it’s about to run and take flight. Its shiny dark eyes look to the sky.
“I want that as a tattoo,” I say, leaning my chin on Luke’s shoulder and taking in the depth of detail he’s pulled out.
“We’re not supposed to get tattoos,” he reminds me.
“I think this is worth the risk of infection.” I kiss his cheek.
“It’s just a bird,” he says, shrugging, “and not a good one.” Still, he reaches out and adds some shading to the bill. The bird suddenly looks like it has quite a lot to say, if you can win its trust.
“It’s fantastic,” I breathe.
His hand stops, and he puts the charcoal down.
“You’re distracting me.” His eyes glint with trouble. “You ready to go?” he asks. He turns on the spinning stool and pulls me closer with the backs of his heels until I’m trapped between his legs. I lean forward and give him a quick kiss that I can’t quite break off.
He murmurs something unintelligible into my mouth and then leans back.
“Hmm?” I ask, playing innocently with the hem of his shirt. I let the thrill and heat of want tingle down my spine. Luke lets out a small groan when my fingers brush his stomach.
“Or we could stop by the Beach at the End of the Universe.” He sounds guilty asking, but he also kisses me again, slipping one of his hands up the back of my shirt, where it settles warm against my skin.
“Yes,” I whisper, moving away to pack up quickly.
He cleans up too, carefully moving my paintings to the drying rack for me.
As I’m grabbing my bag, Luke tosses his heron drawing into the trash can between us.
When he turns away, I rescue it from the bin and fold it carefully before hiding it in my bag.
*
Maddy comes over Tuesday night when I’m too tired to meet her at the diner like we planned.
She brings homemade granola bars, a list of YouTube clips on European backpacking we must watch, and very detailed stories about the chaos of summer people who eat at the restaurant.
As she launches into another story about an annoying tourist, I try to keep up, but my brain just wants to shut off for the night.
I wish tomorrow were Friday so the kids would have presentations and I wouldn’t have to do much.
Just three more days, then it’ll be the weekend, and I can rest with Luke at the beach.
“Why so sleepy, sleeping beauty?” Maddy nudges me as I shut my eyes for a second, and for the first time this summer, I hear a real tinge of sadness in her voice. My stomach sinks at the sound of it, but I recover quickly.
“Oh, you know,” I tease, rolling onto my side and propping up my head, “just falling in love. It’s exhausting.” I wink.
Maddy squeals, and Abbi comes to check on us, padding down the hall from her room and pushing her way in without knocking. She’s got gold under-eye masks on, so it’s hard to take the stern look on her face seriously.
“All good in here?” she asks, hovering.
Maddy assures her we’re fine and invites her to sit with us for the next video, but she leaves us alone.
“She always like that?” Maddy asks. I sigh dramatically.
“Lately, yes. It’s gotten a lot worse. She’s threatening to take another semester off this fall, but I don’t want her to do that. Dad worries it’ll reflect badly on her and she might get kicked out.”
“Shit.” Maddy grabs a pen and starts doodling on my ankle.
“Yeah. And she LOVES school and learning and everything. It’s so weird. I wish she’d just, like, get over it.”
“Get over what?” I look down at the heart Maddy’s drawing and laugh.
“Me dying.”
“Oh, Sera. I don’t think any of us are going to get over that, if that’s what’s coming,” she admits, drawing a sad face next to the little heart with Luke’s and my initials in it.
“I know,” I say, because I do, and yet I don’t because it’s different to be the one who might be leaving. My sadness and anger have a tentative end date, and theirs have to just go on as long as they do.
Thankfully Maddy pivots. “So…I have to ask…”
“Ask what?”
Maddy raises her brows. “Have you and Luke…you know?”
“Have we what?” I say, playing dumb, but I can’t keep a straight face.
“Out with it!” Maddy says.
“No,” I say. “We haven’t…yet.”
Maddy squeals again, and I reach for a pillow and pretend to smother her. “But soon!” she says, her voice muffled from beneath the pillow. She wrenches it free. “I hear Luke’s an experienced…lover.” She draws out the last word so loud I shush her.
“My windows are open, Maddy. He could hear you,” I whisper-yell.
“LUKE’S WHAT?!” she shouts. I scream and wrestle the pillow back to smack her with it.
Abbi comes back in.
“Sera,” she says as Maddy and I hiccup through our giggles, “I don’t think you should be getting so worked up.”
As if agreeing with her, EBE coughs through an irregular beat and my watch beeps once. Maddy pales a little and apologizes.
“Oh, don’t apologize for making me laugh, Mads. God, Abbi, come on, learn to have some fun,” I say, tossing the pillow her way. It smacks against her shins and falls to the floor. She doesn’t smile.
“Take it easy,” she says, like a warning. I sit up and flash her a look.
“Or what, Abbi?”
She opens her mouth, closes it, and then pivots and leaves, slamming my door behind her.