Chapter 26
Zac
When Noah calls to say he’s at my place, I bail on my study group and go straight home, worried he’s looking for an excuse to call it off after running out last night.
I spent the ten-minute drive home trying to figure out how I’ll convince him that what we have is worth the stress of standing up to his father.
If I ever come face-to-face with the arsehole again, I can’t wait to give him a piece of my mind. His son is incredible, regardless of his sexuality. He doesn’t realise it yet, but he’s strong and brave, and he can have everything he wants. I’m determined to prove that to him.
His dad has really messed with his head, but when he forgets all the noise, his guard slips, and I glimpse the real Noah…
That’s the guy I’m drawn to. I love how he looks at me like I’m something steady among his chaos.
When he chooses me in those quiet moments, I know whatever this is between us is real. It’s worth fighting for.
I was sixteen when I realised I was bi, but I didn’t tell my parents for a year.
They didn’t even bat an eye. Mum just said she wanted me to be happy with whoever that happened to be.
Dad clapped me on the back and told me he was proud of me for being true to myself.
I’ve never been more grateful for my parents.
I couldn’t imagine what it’s like to grow up with a parent who can’t accept who you are.
The first thing I hear when I push open the front door is laughter, and that settles the swarm of wasps buzzing around in my stomach.
“What’s going on here?” I ask, unable to hide my grin when I enter the kitchen to see Noah and Dad seasoning the steaks while Mum and Milly make a salad.
“We’re cooking dinner,” Noah says as if it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to be standing in the kitchen with my family.
I lean against the doorway and arch a brow. “I can see that.”
He glances at my dad, who gives him an encouraging nod in my direction. “Dinner will be ready in ten.”
My pulse kicks into overdrive as Noah brushes past me, enveloping my hand in his. He pulls me upstairs to my bedroom, and I follow without a word, curious about why he’s here and what that was between him and Dad.
“What’s going on?” I ask again when he closes the door behind us.
“I needed to see you.”
My stomach flutters from his declaration, but I try not to let myself get too excited, because I feel like there’s more to his visit than this.
“Okay, but why not text to meet up? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, and you have no idea what it does to me seeing you with my family, but I know you were uncomfortable las—”
He cuts me off by smashing his lips to mine and backing me against the door.
I grunt in surprise, but heat spreads through my body, and I kiss him back, savouring the taste of him on my tongue.
“You pulled me back from the brink of a massive panic attack last night,” he murmurs against my lips, “and I realised how much I need you, consequences with my dad be damned. I have to stop hiding in the shadows. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to me.”
My heart pounds at the intensity of what he’s saying, but he’s not finished.
“I’ve tried to switch off my feelings for you, but I can’t.
The moment I met you, I fell for the guy who lives his life unapologetically free, who doesn’t give a fuck what others think of him.
You weren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit when I was treating you like shit, and I need that.
I need you to tell me when to pull my head in, and I need you to help me stop living a lie.
I’m fucking terrified of my dad and what he could do to you, to us.
But I can’t keep going the way I’m going.
” He takes a shuddering breath. “I’ve been hurting myself, and I need it to stop. ”
Unease settles in the pit of my stomach. “What do you mean you’ve been hurting yourself?”
Releasing a heavy exhale, he takes a step back and unbuttons his jeans. My damn cock stirs to life, but I tell the fucker to calm down because I know I’m not going to like what I’m about to see.
“After Nathan left, I needed a way to release the pain and chaos. Cutting was my only way of dealing.” Noah averts his gaze as he pushes his pants down.
At first, I’m distracted by his pierced dick, because of course the arsehole isn’t wearing any underwear, but then he moves it aside and I see the small white scars lining the inner crease of his groin and along the tops of his thighs.
My blood runs cold.
I don’t know what to say.
Lifting my gaze to Noah’s, my heart twists when I see the shame as he bends to pull his pants up.
“Noah—” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat.
“I don’t want your pity.”
I cup the back of his neck and rest my forehead against his. “I don’t pity you. You’ve been through some pretty heavy shit. But I hate that your dad’s actions drove you to this.”
He swallows. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
I press my lips to his as Mum’s voice calls up the stairs, letting us know dinner’s ready.
“Can we talk about this later?”
He nods before teasing me with another brush of his lips. I groan, wanting nothing more than to deepen the kiss, but there’s nothing worse than a cold steak.
We relax on my bed after dinner, and I love how he rests his head on my chest; his leg draped over mine. It’s like he was meant to fit against me.
“Ask whatever you want,” he says, his finger tracing distracting patterns over my abs.
I hesitate. “How long has this been going on?”
“Since Nathan left Perth.” About two years ago.
“You really liked him.”
“We were together for three and a half years. He was my first. My only… until you.”
My traitorous heart skips a beat, but then I voice the question that was rattling around in my head during dinner. “Do you miss him?”
His hand stills, and my breath catches in my throat as I wait for his response.
“I’m not going to lie to you. I miss what we had, but it’s over. Even if he’d speak to me, which I don’t think he would, what my dad did to him was unforgivable. There’s no going back from that.”
Noah pushes up onto his arm so he can look me in the eye.
“I don’t know how to make it clearer to you, Zac.
What I feel for you is strong enough that I want to figure out how to tell my family about you.
That’s why I didn’t tell you I was coming over.
I wanted to talk to your dad to get his advice. ”
I lift my hand and rake it through his dark locks. He closes his eyes, leaning into my touch, a contented sigh slipping from his lips.
“I want you, too.” My voice is thick with emotion. “I’m all in, whatever it takes. No matter how long it takes.”
“You don’t know how much it means hearing you say that.”
“I mean it.”
“I know you do.”
He runs his tongue over his lips before leaning in to kiss me, long and slow. There’s nothing desperate or heated about it; it’s soft and deliberate, a promise that we’ll figure this out.
When he pulls away, I bite my lip and stare into his dark eyes. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he replies, his husky voice heating me from the inside out.
“Would you consider seeing someone about it?”
He chuckles, dipping his head to press a kiss to my jaw. “Spoken like a true psychology student.”
“I’m serious,” I say.
“I know you are.” He moves to kiss me again, but I turn my head.
“It can help to talk to someone about what you’ve been through, to unpack everything before you confront your dad.”
“I’m talking to you.”
I sit up, drawing up a knee to rest my arm on it as I look over my shoulder at him. “It’s not weak to seek professional help.”
He studies the serious expression on my face before sighing and running a hand over his face. “I know.”
“I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to do, but will you at least think about it?”
Noah tugs me back down next to him and nuzzles into my neck. “I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you.”
He rolls over until his body blankets mine, his thickening cock pressing into my crotch. “I’ll do anything for you, Zac,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Don’t do it for me,” I say, tangling my hands in his hair. “Do it for yourself.”
“I will. But you know what I want to do right now?”
I groan, finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than his growing erection. “What?”
His lips kick into a smirk. “I want to have a hot make-out session with my boyfriend.”
My heart stutters, but he doesn’t give me a chance to respond, because his tongue is in my mouth and his hard bulge is rubbing against mine, sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine.
I let him distract me with drugging kisses until we’re both moaning and writhing against each other, but when my hand drifts to his jeans, he pulls away, panting.
“Not tonight, Romeo.”
“No one will know,” I say, reaching for him again.
He chuckles, pressing a kiss to my lips before rolling off me and the bed. “I’ve got an early study group tomorrow.”
“It’s only eight-thirty,” I protest, adjusting my aching dick.
“You’ll survive,” he says with a wink.
I groan, rubbing a hand over my face. “You’re a fucking cock tease.”
“Gotta keep you interested,” he says, backing towards the door.
“Arsehole,” I mutter, rolling over and burying my head in my pillow.
But I can’t keep the grin off my lips. He called me his boyfriend, and it sounded so goddamn good. I’m under no illusion that this will be easy, but these private moments with him are totally worth it.