Chapter 11 #4
loose, and now I can’t stop.”
Piper had always been so free with her emotions. She didn’t hold them back but instead embraced them, even when messy and
inconvenient. Emmy didn’t have that skill. She swallowed hers down and left them festering and sometimes cancerous inside
her. It was how she’d coped with their brother’s death as a teen, thinking she was being strong rather than doing herself
a disservice, and the habit had lingered.
But here, in this beautiful place with her beautiful sister crying in her arms over their shared loss, she felt herself break.
She stopped fighting the pain she kept at bay whenever she thought about Josh and let it in.
It ripped through her, shattering her like glass, but her sister’s arms around her helped hold her together.
She squeezed Piper tighter. “I wish he was here too,” she said thickly. Tears had welled up her throat and pushed out her
eyes.
They held each other, crying, in a shared moment of sorrow. They hardly ever talked about their brother, but Emmy quickly
remembered the hole that plagued both their hearts felt slightly more whole when they were remembering him together.
Josh was permanently twenty-three in her mind. Curly hair the same color as hers, a big, generous smile for everyone because
he just plain loved people. She had trouble envisioning him close to forty, as he would have been now if he were still alive,
but she imagined he’d still be smiling. Maybe coaching his kid’s Little League team by now.
Piper chortled a soggy-sounding laugh and pulled back to wipe her nose. She found a box of tissues on the countertop. “God,
he was such a dork. I miss him so much.” She dabbed her eyes with a wet smile.
Again, so free with her emotions. Emmy tried to be as brave. She forced her voice to come out around the hard lump jamming
her throat. “He’d probably be married to, like, a supermodel by now.”
Piper huffed another laugh. “Yeah, with, like, five kids and a mansion in Malibu. Tom and Gisele predivorce.”
“He’d have half his own baseball team.”
“Maybe a reality TV show.”
“A podcast, surely.”
“A spokesperson deal with Subway.”
“Two World Series rings and a Golden Glove.”
“A charity for abandoned turtles.”
“The cover of Men’s Health .”
“A late-night appearance with one of the Jimmys.”
“An invitation to the Met Gala.”
“What? No, he was never fashionable enough for that.”
“I mean, if he’s married to Gisele and hawking sandwiches on TV, he’s probably got a whole team of stylists at his disposal.”
“True, but professionals can only take you so far, and Josh would never be avant-garde enough to wear something other than
a classy tux.”
“Oh, he totally would. Don’t you remember that Halloween when he dressed up as David Bowie? Full Ziggy Stardust makeup?”
Piper narrowed her eyes in thought.
“You were probably too young,” Emmy said, recalling Josh had been in high school then, which would have put Piper in preschool
still.
They both sighed, wrung out from imagining the life their brother would have had. The bittersweetness of it left Emmy feeling
full and empty at the same time.
“Can I get some of that?” she asked, and pointed at the bottle of tequila.
“Help yourself.” Piper pointed to the cabinet nearest the sink in the kitchen. “Glasses are in there.”
With fresh drinks in hand, they ventured out onto the back patio. Privacy hedges shielded either side of the pool deck and
small grassy yard and edged up to the sand. There, a pair of lounge chairs under a thatched umbrella with a table pointed
out to sea. The scene was a Corona commercial come to life.
Piper sank into one of the cushy chairs under the patio’s pergola laced with more tropical flowers and vines, and Emmy peeled
off her cover-up and slipped into the pool. The cool water swallowed her the same way she swallowed her icy drink: with a
refreshing and necessary gulp. She swam the width of the pool and rested her arms atop the opposite wall. Her gaze hovered
at sea level. The only thing between her and the curling waves was a short stretch of lawn and sand. She turned back around
to face her sister.
“Piper, this is kind of absurdly amazing.”
Piper sighed and rested her chin on her hand. “It was supposed to be anyway.”
Emmy swam back to the other side of the pool. She climbed out and sat in the chair opposite her sister. Sunlight cut through
the pergola, leaving them striped with dark and light bars. Birds chirped; waves crashed. Emmy felt the cares of normal life
melting like the ice in her glass. “No, it is—and it will be. No matter what. Even if you have to get married in this backyard,
it will be perfect.”
Piper sighed again like she didn’t believe her. She ran her fingertip painted the color of a ballet slipper around the rim
of her glass. “I know I sound like a spoiled brat, but I had a vision. And this is not how it was supposed to be.”
Emmy sipped her drink. She’d found a fruity juice in the fridge to cut the tequila. The combination pinched her tongue with
a delicious tartness. “Well, maybe we should forget about what was supposed to be and enjoy what is. Sometimes it’s the unexpected changes that turn out for the best.”
Piper eyed her with an arched brow. “That’s a very un-Emmy thing to say. What’s gotten into you? Also, where is your date?”
A rosy glow warmed Emmy’s cheeks. She thought she might need to jump into the pool again. The truth was, what had gotten into
her was a curious optimism over what was going to happen when Gabe showed up. Yes, of course she was still thrumming with
nerves over the prospect, but something in the air, the water—maybe aided a tiny bit by the tequila—had her feeling a new kind of anxious. A not altogether unpleasant kind.
“He’ll be here tomorrow.”
Piper perked up. “Really? Like, a real person? Not a Canadian Boyfriend situation?”
Emmy rolled her eyes. “Yes, a real person.”
“Who is he?”
Now Emmy buried her face in her drink. This moment had been inevitable since Gabe had agreed to come—actually, since she’d asked Axe Murderer to come. But Piper didn’t need to know the latter detail.
“It’s Gabe,” she quietly muttered into her glass and sipped.
“Who?” Piper leaned in like she didn’t hear. She would not let up.
Emmy set her glass down and grumbled. “It’s Gabe. Olson. From work.”
Her sister’s face changed with the speed of a cuttlefish’s colors from shock to suspicion to a scheming satisfaction. “Well,
that’s a surprise. I thought you didn’t date, and here you are dating a co-worker—and one you don’t like, at that. Although
you did look pretty cozy at my bachelorette party.”
“We are not dating.”
Piper continued to grin at her. “No? Then what exactly are you doing that has him willing to fly to another country for you?”
Emmy considered, because that was an excellent question—and one Gabe himself had asked her weeks ago. She still did not know
what they were doing, but she couldn’t deny the existence of the little butterflies flapping curious wings inside her at the
thought of him joining her.
But they still had boundaries. She could not date her co-worker.
“We’re not crossing any lines. He’s just doing me a favor.”
“Mm-hmm,” Piper hummed like she didn’t believe her. “And what if you did cross a line? Would that be so bad?”
“Yes,” Emmy said emphatically. “Because I like my job.”
At this, Piper’s smug little grin faltered at the edges. She sighed and reached her hand across the table, reading her sister
like a book. “Em, how many times do I have to tell you? Just because your jerk ex told you that you can’t have a career and
a relationship doesn’t mean it’s true. You don’t have to put up your defenses all the time. Also, still sorry Jacob is going
to be here. I can poison his flan if you want me to.”
Emmy quietly laughed at the same time a well of hot, familiar anger surged up inside her. It had dulled over time but was still readily present. “You don’t need to poison him.”
“No, because seeing you with a hot date will ruin his weekend enough on its own,” Piper said with a flirty wink. She squeezed
Emmy’s hand and took on a sober but encouraging tone. “But seriously, you don’t have to choose between your job and a relationship.
I know baseball was your and Josh’s thing, and I know your job makes you feel close to him.” Her voice wobbled and a soggy
sob slipped from Emmy’s mouth. Piper squeezed her hand tighter. “But I also know you could be the commissioner of baseball
someday—literally running the whole damn show—and it’s not going to bring Josh back. He’d want you to have a life outside
of your job, Em.”
Emmy gaped at her wise little sister, floored all over again. Piper’s ability to cut straight to the heart of the matter never
ceased to amaze her. It was true: her job made her feel close to her brother, and she kept pushing to succeed at it as if
making it all the way to the top would somehow fill a void. But maybe all that pushing was coming at the expense of other
aspects of her life.
“Stop being so smart; you’re stealing my thunder as eldest sibling.”
Piper giggled and wiped a stray tear from her eye. “So, Gabe the Babe Olson, huh? Whatever happened to asking Texting Guy?”
A hot pang of guilt hit Emmy like she’d been caught. “Oh, that... got complicated.”
Thankfully, she didn’t have to elaborate because Ben, bless him, appeared at the back door.
“Pipes? Are you out here?” He slipped outside and slid the door shut to keep in the precious refrigerated air.
“Yes,” Piper said. “Please tell me you fixed everything.”
Ben circled the table and kissed the top of her head. “Not everything, but I did get them to comp some massages at the spa
to help deal with the stress. One for each of you starting in a half hour, if you want them.”
Emmy polished off her drink and set the glass on the table. “Earning husband points already. I’m in.”
Piper looked less certain, but Emmy stood and reached for her hand to make the decision for her.
“Come on. Let’s go get pampered.”
Piper followed with a half-hearted sigh.
Emmy’s own heart took a tumble when she found her phone inside and saw she had a text message from Axe Murderer. Not having
thought to change his name in her phone, she threw a glance at her sister to make sure she hadn’t seen.
But Piper was too distracted to notice.
Emmy’s heart took another tumble when she opened the message.
You can add this text to my tab, but just checking in to say I got an earlier flight. See you tonight.