Chapter 19
They managed to get some sleep, though Emmy had to think the reason they were walking into HR together the next morning was
written all over their exhausted-in-the-best-way faces. As if he wanted to dispel any doubts, Gabe slipped his hand into hers
and squeezed as they made their way to the head of HR’s office.
Like the overprepared, studious nerds they were, last night they’d read their employee handbook cover to cover (of course
Gabe had a printed copy of it in a binder, as did Emmy) to see what they were up against. The organization had no rules against
office romances, nor did they have any requirements about disclosing a romantic relationship. Emmy couldn’t say she was shocked
an empire created and run by men hadn’t given any thought to such regulations, but the lack of rules felt like both a blessing
and a curse. Because there were no guidelines, there was no telling how HR might react.
When they’d finally decided to go to sleep, Emmy lay with her back tucked against Gabe’s chest and his arm looped over her.
The feel of it all, the comfort and safety of his embrace, had her at once undeniably content and terrified of losing it all
before they even had a chance to get started.
“Gabe, what if they say we can’t?” she’d whispered into the dark.
“They won’t,” he’d promised and pressed his lips to her shoulder.
She’d fallen asleep feeling his heart beat and convincing herself he was right.
Now, standing outside the HR director’s office, she was second-guessing his certainty.
They knocked and entered the spacious office that boasted a window overlooking not the field but at least a street with a sliver view of the bay.
Todd Waters, a balding man in a short-sleeved button-down and tie, was turned around reaching into a filing cabinet when they
entered. They’d already sat in the two chairs opposite his desk by the time he swiveled to face them. “Mr.Olson and Ms.Jameson
from Research and Analytics, what can I help you with today?” he asked as he scanned the form he’d retrieved, surely something
notifying him who they were. He looked up at them over the form and over the tops of his glasses with a welcoming smile. He
stilled when he saw their clasped hands spanning the gap between their chairs. His smile softened at the edges. “Ah, I see.
Well, okay then.” He swiveled back around in his chair and reached into the filing cabinet again.
Emmy and Gabe swapped an unsure glance. Emmy decided to take the lead.
“Mr.Waters—”
“Call me Todd, please,” he interrupted her.
“Todd,” she started again. Emmy hadn’t talked to the man other than back when she was hired and had sat in this very office
brimming with excitement over her future career. “We’re here because we want to formally disclose that we’re seeing each other.
Romantically,” she awkwardly tacked on. She’d known this conversation was going to be uncomfortable, but it still had her
squirming.
Gabe squeezed her hand again. “We know the organization doesn’t have any rules around dating or disclosing relationships,
but we want it on official record,” he added. “To avoid any speculation or assumptions.”
“Wise move,” Todd said with a nod. “You’re right the organization does not mandate that you disclose your relationship; however,
now that you have, your supervisors may choose to review to determine if there are any conflicts of interest that may arise
and advise accordingly.”
“Like what?” Emmy asked at the same time Gabe said, “Advise?”
Todd turned to his computer and clicked around on his screen. “Yes. We want to avoid any kind of power imbalance, favoritism,
unfair treatment. Things like that. And by advise, I mean should they determine any of those things exist or could occur,
we will advise on recourse. Ah, I see that you are in the same department and hold the same position. Currently.”
The last word rang out like a gong.
As he spoke, Emmy slipped her hand out of Gabe’s and folded it with her other hand in her lap. She hadn’t told Gabe what Alice
had told her about being the front-runner for the promotion. The thought of the problems it might cause had swum around her
mind like a predator in deep water last night. She’d tried to fight it off by snuggling herself closer to Gabe, feeling the
warmth of his bare skin, listening to his heart, but she could only manage to get it to shrink, never to disappear.
Now it loomed mightily in front of them. A power imbalance was inevitable.
“It looks like you’re both up for the same promotion.” Todd spoke the quiet part out loud. He tapped his fingers on his desk
as he briefly thought before coming to a conclusion. “I’ll need to inform your supervisors of what you’ve shared here today,
after I gather some information from you.”
Emmy felt Gabe’s eyes on her, perhaps wondering why she’d let go of his hand. She shot him a worried look as her nerves churned.
He tried to reassure her with a shake of his head, but it didn’t do much to help.
They answered Todd’s brief list of questions about the duration and nature of their relationship.
He then told them he’d follow up later that day after discussing the matter with their supervisors, and that was it.
The whole meeting lasted under ten minutes.
Emmy left the office reeling and wondering if this was what it felt like to be on the receiving end of one of the trade decisions she helped run numbers for.
It was so swift and straight to the point, she felt like her budding relationship was being shipped off to another time zone before she even blinked.
The weight of it all hit her when they left the office and reentered the hallway. She paused to catch her breath and leaned
on the wall.
“Are you okay?” Gabe asked, and instantly stepped to her side.
She looked up at him with a tremble in her lip and tears glossing her eyes. “Did we just ruin everything?”
He gently cupped her face to catch her tears before they fell. He shook his head. “No. Everything will be fine.”
“You don’t know that.” Emmy’s voice cracked, and Gabe wrapped her in his arms. The smell and heat of him enveloped her. Aside
from that kiss he stole in the kitchen, it was the closest they’d ever been at work. She wanted to melt straight into him.
At the same time, it felt forbidden to be touching so intimately.
“We’re going to get in trouble,” she said, and gently pushed him back with a soggy sniffle.
“No, we’re not. There are no rules, remember?”
“Yeah, but there might be recourse .”
He curved his fingers under her chin to tilt her face up. “Yes, but what’s the worst they can do, force us to work together?
We already can’t stand each other.” He softly smiled with a sparkle in his dark eyes.
A weak laugh popped from her lips. “Stop making jokes.”
He caught a stray tear with his thumb. “At least you’re laughing at them.”
“Only because I’m sad.” She fiddled with the button on his shirt and then smoothed her hand against his chest.
“Come on,” he said, and pulled her away from the wall. “We better get back to the office in case anyone gets suspicious about
why we’re both gone. Speaking of, are we going to tell Ishida and Torres?”
Emmy snorted. “Only if we want them to never shut up about it.”
“They never shut up about anything,” Gabe said, slinging an arm over her shoulders. She briefly leaned into him, wishing she
could stay, and then removed herself to a professional distance.
“Let’s make sure we’re not going to get fired before we PDA all over the place.”
She was half joking, but he nodded in agreement.
They returned to their office with no fanfare. Pedro and Silas were fully occupied staring at their computers with headphones
on. Emmy and Gabe sat at their desks and did their best to work. Emmy found herself jumping every time her inbox pinged, fearing
an email from HR—or even Alice asking her why the hell she was throwing a wrench in her promotion plan, because surely she’d
been notified by now.
But then Emmy would glance at Gabe and think about the warmth of his body wrapped around hers, the sound of his laugh. The
way her frustration with him had so quickly ripened into a deeply rooted desire to be close to him, and how her heart was
cartwheeling over the thought of where they might go together.
She silently prayed that there would not be a choice put before her—her job or him—because she honestly did not know what
she would pick. The choice had been easy with Jacob, but with Gabe... The thought hollowed out her insides with fear.
At around three o’clock, her email pinged at the same second Gabe’s did. The chime in stereo sent her heart beating double
time; she knew what it meant. Gabe glanced over their cubicle wall at her, and she read her distress all over his face. He
attempted an encouraging nod, but it fell flat. She gave him just as weak of a nod before they both turned to their screens.
An email from Todd waited at the top of her inbox.
“Always straight to the point,” she muttered and clicked it.
She quickly noted both Alice and Director Allen had been cc’d.
Ms.Jameson, Mr.Olson,
Following up on our meeting this morning—after careful consideration and review, your supervisory team has determined the
nature of your personal relationship is problematic to the potential for promotional advancement. Given that the senior analyst
position carries seniority over your current roles as analysts, the department feels that the resulting power imbalance would
be inappropriate should one of you assume the role. If either or both of you wish to continue being considered for promotion,
please formally inform HR of the termination of your personal relationship by this coming Monday. If you wish to remove yourselves
from consideration, no further recourse is necessary. We thank you for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Todd Waters, Director of Human Resources
Emmy read the email twice, trying to make it sink in, but it kept bouncing off her brain as if she were throwing a rubber
ball at a wall.
Problematic to the potential for promotional advancement.
Termination of your personal relationship.
This coming Monday.
The message jumbled into chaos, but those words stood out. They had five days to make a decision: the job, or their relationship.
Emmy turned to Gabe and saw an ashen look of shock on his face.
They had, indeed, just ruined everything.
She stood from her chair and headed for the door.
“Emmy, wait,” he said, and followed her. She didn’t slow. She beelined for the elevator at the end of the hall. He caught
up in no time with his long strides. “Where are you going?”
“I need some air.” She stopped at the elevator and pressed the button.
Her lungs felt like they were closing off.
The ceiling was lowering; the walls were closing in.
Getting into a small metal box might not have been the best idea at that moment, but it was the quickest escape to aboveground oxygen she so desperately needed.
The elevator doors opened with a ding, and she stepped in. Gabe followed her. A flashback to that night in the elevator in
Mexico when she’d asked him what he was thinking hit her like a truck. She could feel the heat of him, hear the velvety purr
of his voice. At the same time, the memory felt like it came from another reality. One where they could be together without
worry. Without compromising everything she’d worked years to achieve.
“Fuck!” she shouted once the doors had closed. The word exploded out of her in an angry rush. She mashed the heels of her
hands into her eyes. She heard a loud bang and moved her hands to see Gabe shaking out his own hand like he’d punched the
metal wall. She couldn’t blame him; she’d have done the same if it wouldn’t have hurt.
He spun around to face her. Frustration pulsed off him the same way it did her. They weren’t mad at each other—or maybe they
were; Emmy couldn’t interpret her emotions. She was mostly mad at the situation. Mad she was falling for him and now she couldn’t
have him, not if she wanted her job. Part of her wanted to take it all back—the texting, the flirting, Mexico. Part of her
wanted to forsake everything and rip off all his clothes right there in the elevator. The line between rage and lust was dangerously
blurry. They stared at each other, silently blinking and fuming.
The elevator dinged and dumped them out onto the field level. Dim daylight cut between the concrete layers. The field below
was busy with another afternoon of preparation. The food vendors had started to cook, lacing the air with the tangy bite of
hot dogs and tacos as well as sugary treats.
“Are we going to talk?” Gabe asked when she stomped out of the elevator, and he followed.
“No,” she snapped and kept walking. “Not right now.”
He jogged to catch up and reached for her arm. “Emmy, wait. We’re in this together, okay? And I—”
She whirled on him and snapped again. “I just need a minute!”
He stopped and dropped his grip, looking hurt.
“Sorry,” she said with a big breath. “This is just... a lot.” The truth spun around in her mouth: It’s going to be me; I’m going to get the job. She was the one with something to lose here. But she couldn’t bring herself to say it. With the look on his face, it would only
have been salt on a freshly opened wound.
She took another breath. “I think we need some time to think.”
He nodded. “Today’s Wednesday, so we have five days before they want a decision.” She took relief in knowing he wasn’t ready
to make a decision right then either.
Emmy looked up at his handsome, tormented face and wondered if she’d ever be ready to make a decision. He must have read the
pain on hers because he stepped forward and smoothed his hand over her hair. “I know this is the exact scenario you’re afraid
of, except it’s the job making you choose this time, not some insecure partner. But we’ll figure this out. Together. It’s
going to be okay.”
As much as she wanted to believe him, she couldn’t see how that could be true. Not now, at least.
Emmy fought to calm her racing heart, because Gabe was right: this was her worst-case scenario come to life, again, but with
bigger stakes. “Let’s just get through the rest of the week, okay? We can talk this weekend.”
He looked at her with a deep knit between his brows. “Okay,” he said with a nod. “This weekend.”