4. Penny #3
“How was I to know that?” he asked sharply.
“How many times did you roll over when Merrick caused trouble, or levied ridiculous accusations against me, or tried to kill both of us?” Kit gestured at me.
“I was always going to protect what little I had here. Protect Penny. Protect myself. In telling you, the risk was all mine. You held all the power. But in you telling me? You risked nothing. You of all people should have known that the only reason I’d come back here was to tear it all down. So, what was stopping you?”
Levitt was quiet a moment, though he never looked away from Kit, even as he seemed to shrink under my intended’s wounded glare.
“You called me a coward once,” he said finally, so softly I almost missed it. “I think that was a fair assessment.”
Kit’s tense shoulders eased, and when his hands relaxed, I slid my fingers between his and squeezed. I couldn’t salve the pain of feeling let down yet again by someone who was supposed to be his friend, but I could at least remind him that he didn’t have to feel it alone.
Levitt turned his gaze away, his eyes settling on the fireplace, or maybe the journals still stacked on the shelf beside it.
“There was a time when you used to tell me everything, Kit. And I helped where I could, but it was never enough. I could never shield you from your father. So, when you got out, I was happy for you. You finally made yourself safe the way I never could. I contented myself imagining that you’d built a life out there, as far from the Bone Men as you could get.
But I never expected you to walk back in here to pledge yourself to this madness again. ”
He wouldn’t have, if not for me. I wanted to regret bringing him back to Ashpoint and all the pain it brought on both of us. But that meant regretting what we built together. The future I’d gotten a taste of in Eastcliff. The life we shared in our tiny cottage here.
And I couldn’t bring myself to regret that.
“I never thought I’d see you again, so when I did…
” Levitt sighed, his hand rising to rub the stump of his right wrist. “I wanted things to be like they were. Only, you were different, and I was different, and I realized I would need to regain your trust if I wanted any hope of being your friend again.”
“So, you kept me in the dark?”
“It wasn’t that I wanted to,” Levitt insisted.
“I tried to give you hints, where I could, but I needed you to trust me so you wouldn’t assume I was setting you up.
A lot can happen in thirteen years, and I could tell that me being the Right Hand was a shock to you.
I needed to be sure that you saw that I was trying to do things differently, and I needed to know that you wouldn’t disrupt the plans I was trying to set in motion.
“Because there was always risk to me, too. I am the only thing standing in the way of people like Merrick bringing back the same violent leadership we barely survived under your father. My duty is to the people of Ashpoint first. You may protect Penny, but I protect them.”
Not very well, by my estimation, considering our initiate group was down from ten to six.
But maybe that wasn’t fair. Ashpoint did feel like a genuine community.
It didn’t feel dark and oppressive like Kit made it sound in his stories.
It was a far different place now than it had been when he lived here before me.
Levitt may not have earned much favor with me for the ways he always seemed to let Kit down, but we were two among many.
And the many seemed to be faring better than we sometimes were.
Kit let out a long breath, and his hand squeezed mine. The pain in his expression was gone, replaced with something like grief.
“I could have helped,” he said quietly. “I would have.”
Levitt gave another of those small, sad smiles.
“Maybe. Still, I think there was a part of me that thought, perhaps you were safer if I said nothing of my own plans to dismantle the Vessel. Perhaps keeping you at arm’s length would protect you in the event that Merrick managed to turn everyone against me. ”
“We’re both idiots,” Kit concluded with a humorless chuckle. “Too desperate to protect the people we love to realize we’re making it worse.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything sooner. Truly.”
“So am I.” Kit pulled his hand from mine and held it out to Levitt. “No more secrets, right?”
Levitt clasped the offered hand and nodded. “No more secrets. We work together to make things right here.” His gaze turned to me, and he smiled. “All of us. Starting with the vote tonight to strip Merrick of his rank.”
That was something to celebrate.
When Levitt released Kit’s hand, he stood aside to give us a clear path to the door.
“The journals are yours if you want them, Kit. There’s nobody to stop me giving them back this time.”
Kit glanced over his shoulder at the pile of books. I wanted to tell Levitt to keep them. Throw them in the fire. If he really wanted to protect Kit, that was how he could do it. There was nothing in those pages worth the look they put on Kit’s face.
“I’m going to take Penny to dinner, and I don’t want to lug those things with me,” Kit said. “We’ll swing by on our way home tonight to get them.”
Levitt nodded. “Better make it tomorrow morning. I don’t know how late the vote will go.”
“Could make it never,” I chimed in.
Levitt laughed while Kit shot me a sideways smirk.
“We’ll be back in the morning,” Kit said firmly. “And toast to tonight’s success.”