Chapter 26
We’re all squashed together in a booth at the bar on the Winter Wonderland Express, while the staff sing Christmas carols. When it’s Sabrina’s solo, we all hush. She belts out the lyrics for ‘Little Drummer Boy’ and it’s enough to bring a tear to the eye; her voice is mellifluous and soulful.
‘Wow,’ CJ says. ‘Who knew she could sing like that?’
Even Princess, our resident karaoke queen, is stunned. ‘Sabrina has the voice of an angel. Her talents are being wasted.’
When Sabrina’s song is over, she gives us a fluttery little wave as if she hasn’t just captivated the crowd and goes behind the bar to help.
The next singer pales in comparison so we get back to our conversation and chatter about our plans for Lapland, including meeting up for Christmas Eve dinner at the lodge.
‘What about Sabrina, though?’ Karen asks.
‘She and her boyfriend are staying in a hostel close by, aren’t they?
It would be great to celebrate with them too. ’
‘Definitely,’ Princess says. ‘We’ll ask her what their plans are.’
The staff finish their carolling. We stand and clap, thanking them as they pass to resume their duties.
‘Music requests?’ Sabrina calls from behind the bar, gesturing to the sound system.
‘What about “Last Christmas”?’ Princess announces, holding out her hand to Barry. ‘May I have this dance?’
Barry blushes and fumbles. ‘I’d love nothing more.’
Princess gives me a not-so-subtle kick as she edges past me. There’s absolutely no way I’m asking Jasper to dance, if that’s what she’s thinking. Princess tries her laser-like stare at me, but I duly ignore it. Instead, I study my nails like they’re endlessly fascinating.
Jasper lets out a surprised gasp, which I take to mean she kicked him on the way past too. The minx.
‘Ah – Aubrey, would you like to dance?’ he asks, darting a glance at Princess, as if to ask why she has to resort to under-the-table kicks. She’s as subtle as a sledgehammer, that woman.
‘You’re not asking under duress or anything, are you?’
He laughs. ‘Absolutely not! I’m sure you didn’t receive a nudge to the shins, either?’
I take his hand and we make our way to the small area used for entertainment.
When Jasper pulls me tight against his body, everything melts away, except him and his intense gaze, which burns so hot I have to look away.
He’s like a real-life romance novel hero come to life and I just want to delight in that.
It feels natural, being in his arms, feeling the beat of his heart as I press up against him.
It takes me a moment to work up the courage to stare into the unfathomable depths of his eyes, because that’s where I get lost, looking for signs that this is where I’m meant to be. That he is the one I want.
‘Aubrey,’ he says, his voice husky.
I keep my gaze on his. ‘Yes?’
So much remains unsaid but sometimes words are just words. I don’t need assurances, I just need to feel his lips on mine. Maybe that’s all I need to do, listen to my body for once.
I slowly rise on my tiptoes as he brings his mouth to meet mine. Stars collide as we kiss tenderly, softly. Desire flames in my heart and my soul. All at once I’m sure I’ve never felt like this before, and how can that be?
‘What the hell? Aubrey…’
The voice breaks my reverie. It’s so familiar. Jasper pulls his lips from mine but keeps me in his arms.
‘I – I didn’t expect to see that.’ The once missing groom nervously runs a hand through his thick dark locks.
Oh God, Miles is here. I’m frozen to the spot, unsure of how to react, while my lips are still tingling from Jasper’s kiss.
‘What – what are you doing here?’ Seeing his face, his expression layered in anxiety, his vulnerabilities playing out, somehow reminds me of the love we shared.
Or the love I felt, at any rate. Those dreams I had for my future bounce right back to the fore – the soft satin of my wedding dress as it slipped over my body, the excitement and trepidation I felt about the idea of walking down the aisle to meet my handsome groom.
Who stands before me now, with a hint of devastation in his eyes that he tries hard to mask.
‘Oh – ah God. I’m sorry, Miles, but you being here, well, it’s a bit of a shock. ’
There are audible gasps from the Unlucky in Love Travel Club.
Jasper’s face falls, and he drops his arms, stepping away from me.
His sudden distance feels almost like a betrayal.
As if I’m left marooned, alone in a sea of startled faces.
By the dark angry gleam in Jasper’s eye, he’s the one who feels betrayed.
This is my worst nightmare. I tried to tell them but clearly I didn’t try hard enough. And now he’s here and they’re confused. Hurt. Jasper’s hands are fisted by his side.
‘Miles is alive?’ Princess says under her breath.
‘I came to fix things, Aubrey. Fix us. But it looks like I’m too late.’ His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as if he’s swallowing shock. I feel like a horrible human.
The carriage falls silent and all eyes are on me. I’m exposed as a fraud. Time slows to a crawl and for the life of me, I can’t think of a response. Miles’s face reddens the longer I leave the silence hanging.
I don’t dare look at Jasper, but steal glances at the rest of the Unlucky in Love Travel Club, for help, for guidance, for courage maybe.
CJ’s mouth is a perfect O. Karen’s eyes are comically wide and Barry is blinking away like he’s trying to process it all.
Behind the bar, Sabrina bites down on her lip and shakes her head.
Do they feel deceived by my lies too? Princess steps forward, her expression neutral, impossible to read.
‘Excuse me,’ she says to Miles with a gentle smile. ‘I believe this is a conversation best taken in private…’