9. The Swindled #4
“Tell me. Heimdall was about to say something to you, something he said you wouldn’t like, but in my vision, I didn’t get to hear what it was.”
“You expect me to say it?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t.”
“Loki—”
“I can’t! So, if you need to know… I will have to show you.” He reached up a hand to cover my eyes.
Behind his palm appeared the same scene I had witnessed before, with me looking through his eyes, as Heimdall spoke.
“For you, Loki, he will mean the shattering of all that you are. You will want him desperately, but there is nothing you can do to ever make him want you the same way back.”
“You think I would fall prey to some mortal?”
“I have seen it.”
“Then your abilities have left you since Ragnarok, old friend. I will tell you what is going to happen. That man’s future is only wrapped up in ours because I am going to gift him to the others.
Yes! That’s what I’ll do. Hel knows they need it.
Someone unafraid. Someone who will challenge them and draw them out of their self-imposed cages.
We’ll even start with you. But believe me, I will never want him for myself the way you claim. ”
“We’ll see.”
Sudden light made me squint as Loki uncovered my eyes.
“You lied to him. I could feel it. You never truly believed you could beat Heimdall’s prophecy.”
“Who can? He’s never wrong. And I’d already learned that you can’t fight fate.”
Loki wanted me.
But he didn’t believe I wanted him.
“You played along, pretended to be flippant and uncaring, pretended to be what you thought everyone believed you were, because…”
Loki remained facing away from me.
“Because you believed you deserved that pain,” I finished. “ Wow . You really are an idiot sometimes.”
“You mock me now?” He faced me finally.
“Yes. Because you deserve it. Those were Heimdall’s exact words? That I could never be made to want you the same way back?”
“Yes? So, you needn’t—”
I laughed. How could I not? “Of course, he was right! I could never be made to want you, Loki. Yet, against all my better judgment, I do anyway. And for far more than having you in my bed or only for a night. Don't make me leave your arms. Okay? Possibly ever. I haven’t fully decided yet.” I gathered Loki against me before he could resist or sputter any protests.
As what I’d said sunk in and Loki realized his folly, I felt a damp nuzzle into my breastbone. “Did… did I trick myself ?”
I laughed again and petted Loki’s hair. “Silly god. I think I tricked you a little too, enough that you wanted me even more than the pain. But you have no need to make me do anything. If you truly want me as desperately and world-shatteringly as I want you, then believe me, I do indeed want you the same way back, all on my own.”
A sob answered, muffled against my chest.
How could I have guessed this was how my story would end?
“Keep me, Loki. I don’t need to be free if I can have you.
” I could hardly believe I meant it, but it had never been only freedom I’d wanted.
I wanted to be loved, to be treated as an equal instead of feeling owned and used.
If Thorsten had offered me that, I might have happily been his thrall forever.
“I wish I could.” Loki pushed from my hold, eyes glistening. “But I cannot neglect our pact.”
“What—”
“I must free you, Oli. ‘Or may the Midgard Serpent devour me whole’.” Loki grasped my forearm, leaving me too stunned to tug away. I was still naked, and yet, at his touch, all the symbols that adorned my tunic were branded on my skin.
It didn’t hurt to see them etched on me, and as soon as they appeared, they faded again, leaving only Loki’s snake that became alive. Truly alive this time, forming off my skin into a real, living snake that slithered from my wrist to coil around Loki’s.
As I stared, uncertain what this meant, I watched Jormungandr, tiny though he may be compared to the stories, lift his head back toward me and lunge like he meant to strike.
I flinched. I closed my eyes and flinched.
But no bite came.
When I opened my eyes, I was clothed in my old tunic and trousers, the simpler, plainer garments of a thrall, and I sat upon the altar where Loki had first stolen me.
Alone.
“Loki!” I screamed.
“Oli? What in the realms are you howling about?”
I snapped my head forward. Thorsten stood at the mouth of the path leading to the altar beneath the tree, to me, dressed in the same clothes I last remembered seeing him in.
“I can’t believe you’re still out here. It’s been hours. Not making a good impression on your new owner.” He approached, like some vision or dream from the past. It felt like so long since I’d last seen him.
Hours? Had it only been hours?
“Father sent me to fetch you. Your buyer is here.”
“My… buyer?” I dropped down from the altar, though I wasn’t certain if I could stand. Had I imagined it all, so distraught by my fate, or had Loki tricked me in the end and doomed me? “Erik, Son of Gunvald?”
“Apparently not. Someone else offered more for you.”
I almost asked, You ? But Thorsten’s expression was not one of a man who’d had revelations, but of a bitter and jealous one.
I leapt from the altar to sprint past him, nearly elbowing him to topple into one of the trenches on either side of the path.
“For fuck’s sake , Oli, what—”
“Go to Hel, Thorsten!” I yelled back. “If you’re lucky.”
“Oli!”
I ignored him and kept on running. Tears stung my eyes from my mad sprint to return to the main property of my owners. Former owners. Each minute that passed was torture trying to reach what had been my home because I did not know what I would find there.
But I had a guess. A lingering, foolish, mortal hope. I didn’t know what fate had in store for me. I could only pray I was right.
I bypassed other thralls, Thorsten’s siblings, neighbors visiting to barter, all in a blur, disregarding stares or grunts of surprise if someone had to move out of my way.
Finally, I saw Thorsten’s parents outside the door to the main house.
A slight figure stood before them, waving off attempts at being invited inside.
The person was hunched, as if trying to hide within a long cloak.
A long green cloak.
I slowed, catching my breath before I drew too near and was noticed. Eventually, nothing could stop them from seeing me. And they did not look pleased.
“My apologies, I was tending—”
“On your knees, thrall!” Thorsten’s father barked.
For the first time in my life, I did not immediately drop.
“ Thrall .” Thorsten’s mother chided.
“Yes,” a new voice said, but not one I expected. “On your knees, so you might be at my level to look at you.” The figure turned, barely visible beneath their cloak, but what I could see appeared to be a withered old woman clutching a cane to keep steady.
Obediently but at my own pace, I dropped. Blue eyes looked at me from within the hood, not hiding that one side of her face, while also heavily wrinkled, was covered in scars.
That bastard.
“He looks suitable enough,” she said, and turned to address Thorsten’s parents. “Our deal stands. He will retrieve any of his things that he wishes to bring with him and accompany me to my family land.”
“If you wish,” Thorsten’s father said. “But the day grows late. You are welcome to stay, sup with us, inspect the thrall to ensure he is of the… type you seek.”
“I know what I seek.”
“It is not that we do not appreciate the hefty sum you offered,” Thorsten’s mother tried with a pinched brow, “but why only one slave for such a large fee? If you require better laborers—”
“No. I require only him. For I do not pay to own him but to see him freed to marry into my family.”
The surprise on Thorsten’s parents’ faces was almost enough to temper my own.
Almost.
“…marry?”