Chapter 26 Maritozzi and Hope
Maritozzi and Hope
GAbrIEL
What the hell was that? You shouldn't have gone over, Sirolli.
I drag my hand through my hair, sinking into the patrol car. The radio hums, but my mind can't focus. All I keep replaying is the moment Millie and I almost kissed.
I was a second away from kissing her.
What was I thinking? I have a plan—things were supposed to happen slowly, the way they should.
But I know if we would've kissed, I would've confessed everything right them. No waiting until Saturday. And that's the problem, I can't rush this. She hardly trusts me as it is. I can't risk everything unraveling, not when I've barely begun to win her back.
I grip the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white.
The image of her face so close to mine infiltrates my mind.
Her lips parting slightly and the ways her eyes flickered with a mixture of surprise and want.
Damn it the moment had felt electric, magnetic, like the universe was holding its breath for use. But I pulled away. I had to.
Because if I had crossed that line, I might have lost her forever.
As I drive away from Millie's house, I feel a tightness in my chest. The farther I go, the emptier I feel. A ping from my phone breaks through the quiet. It's Kenna.
Fuck.
Did Millie tell her about what just happened. I like Kenna, but she can be terrifying at times. I check the message. She's is just asking if I left the note for Millie asking her to meet Saturday.
Me
Yes, everything is in motion. Are you going to tell me what you're planning now?
Kenna
Good. Our parents are having our family photos redone. They hire this crazy talented photographer, and she already agreed to take the photos. We all wear white for the photos, which is perfect for a proposal.
Me
Just to clarify, all I have to do is show up.
Kenna
Yep! Josh has already agreed to hide with Aura so Millie doesn't suspect anything.
I pull into the CFPD parking lot, park the car, and lock it. Walking into the building, I make my way to the locker room, hoping to catch Josh. He's in there, changing into his uniform.
"Hey man," he greets me, stifling a yawn.
I nod back, starting to change. "Kenna said she reached out about Saturday”
Josh grins. "Yeah. She threatened me. Said if I messed anything up, I'm toast. I told her I'm Uncle Josh, and it is going to go perfectly."
I chuckle, but it dies quickly. “Do you think she’ll say yesterday?” I ask him before my mind can stop the words from escaping my mouth.
Josh zips up his vest and gives me a look. “Honestly? Yeah. She’s in love with you, man. She’s just scared. I mean, hell, you both are. But if anyone can get through a rocky patch, it’s the two of you.”
I nod, but doubt still churns in my gut. “I don’t know. It’s like lately every time I get close to her, something I do scares her away.”
Josh claps a hand on my shoulder. “Then don’t scare her. Just show up and be honest. Let her come to you.”
I try to hold on to his words like armor.
I wish I had his confidence. My mind is consumed with the tiniest details. What if it doesn't go the way I planned? What if Millie says no? We're not even together right now, and everything hinges on that moment.
I finish changing and head to my car, but the restless tension in me won't ease. I need a distraction.
I lead myself to Beanstalk, as Millie is my comfort spot. The moment I step inside, the rich smell of coffee and baked goods hits me like a wave.
It's familiar, calming.
When I approach the counter, she's busy, so I wait. The sound of her voice drifts toward me, and I can't help but watch her. She hasn't noticed me yet, and I can't decide whether I'm nervous or excited about what to say when she turns around.
Finally, she does, and I give her a smile, throwing a wink for good measure.
"Gabriel," she says, setting down the coffee in the pick-up area. "Your usual?"
I nod, but my words seem stuck. All the things I've been meaning to say vanish. I watch her as she works.
She looks…stunning, like always.
She catches me staring. "What? Do I have something on my face?" she asks, turning to the back to check in the mirror.
Before she can, I follow her into the back room. I step close, caging her in with my hands on either side of her. Her breath hitches, and I can't help but smirk.
"Come home, Bumper."
"I can't," she whispers, avoiding my gaze.
I step back, frustrated. "What are you afraid of? Is it me? Us?"
She doesn’t answer right away. I watch her eyes flicker, her lips pressing into a tight line. Then, slowly her gaze flicks to mine.
"I'm afraid of losing what we have…of losing my love for you because of a rushed marriage."
The words hit harder than I expect. I breathe in through my nose trying my damndest not to react.
If only she knew how much I understood that.
She doesn't wait for a response, turning back toward the front of the café, leaving me standing in her office.
I stay there a moment longer, leaning my back against the door. I close my eyes trying to remember how far we’ve come, how much healing has already happened. But it feels like a house of cards. One wrong move and it’ll all collapse.
I want to scream at her. To tell her that I’d rather lose everything than lose what we have. But the words catch in my throat. I’m not sure if I’m ready to lay it all out just yet.
I don't sleep that night. My mind won't shut off. So, I wake up early for the day. There's not much happening today, just taking Aura to her eight-month checkup. I still can't believe she's almost one.
Time has flown by so fast that I regret not starting to plan her birthday party earlier, as Millie suggested. March will be here sooner than we think. I'm hoping that Saturday goes off without a hitch—then Millie and I can plan the perfect celebration for our little girl.
As I am making breakfast for Aura, my phone rings. It's my Ma.
"Ciao, Mamma."
"Ugh! I just love Amelia so much," she says without missing a beat.
Great…I haven't told her about the tension between Millie and me. But I've got a plan. I'd rather tell her I'm engaged.
"What makes you say that?"
"Oh, amore mio," she sighs, "she texted me last night to say she made my maritozzi recipe. She wanted me to teach her when you were here, and I was happy to! She's a great baker, amore."
I pause startled. Millie never mentioned that to me. And I know she doesn’t ask people for help easily. Not unless she’s serious. My stomach flips with the idea that there may be hope after all.
Millie asked my Ma to teach her to make maritozzi? My thoughts are racing, but then Aura begins to cry on the baby monitor.
"Mamma, Aura is waking up. I'll call you later?"
"Yes, yes, go take care of my girl."
I end the call and head upstairs to Aura's room.
“Buongiorno, Amorino1,” I coo, lifting her from her crib.
I cradle her in my arms, kissing her forehead. Being a single dad has its challenges, but I wouldn't trade this life for anything. It's hard, but it's mine.
Aura wraps her tiny fingers around the collar of my shirt, tugging with surprising strength. “Ba ba ba,” she babbles, eyes wide and bright.
I’m here piccolina2,” I whisper. “Always.”
I change Aura into a warm, knitted dress and tights for the cooler weather, then head to the kitchen. After breakfast, we're off to the pediatrician.
"We are going to the doctor's today, Beanie. I can't promise you that a vaccine isn't in your future. But I can promise you that I will protect and comfort you through it."
Driving to the pediatrician's office, I reflect on everything that’s happened over the past year.
It’s been a whirlwind of changes and challenges.
I became a father to the most amazing little girl, one who has brought more joy into my life than I ever thought possible.
But her arrival hasn’t come without its struggles—her mother abandoned us both shortly after she was born.
It was a difficult time, but it pushed me to make some bold decisions.
I moved to a new state, a new town, where I started fresh and took on a new job as a officer. As I drive, I think about how much my life has transformed in such a short time.
Despite the hardships, though, I’ve never felt more blessed. Fatherhood has changed me in ways I never could have anticipated, and even on the toughest days, I wouldn't trade a single moment of it.
I pull into a spot at the doctor's office, telling Aura that we were here. She kicks her legs in the back seat, babbling away.
Shaking my head, I unbuckle her from her car seat.
"You are something else, Aura,” I say to her, walking into the waiting room.
We've only been here a few times since Aura has been healthy, other than the occasional cold here and there.
The office isn't your typical doctor's office, the walls are painted in a variety of soft pastel colors. I can only hope that as Aura grows, she sees this space not as a scary place, but as a place designed to make sure she is ok.
As I walk up to the receptionist's desk, she gives me a welcoming smile. "Good morning!" she says, her voice light and cheerful, as if she were welcoming us into her home.
After we check in, we wait in the plush chair that fill the perimeter of the waiting room. There are a few other parents sitting nearby with their children. Aura looks around inquisitively, eager to explore.
In two corners of the room, there are TVs playing Doc McStuffins.
Aura sits in my lap holding her panda lovey that Millie got her.
She gnaws on one ear of the panda absentmindedly, occasionally glancing up at me to make sure I’m still there.
Her trust in me is absolute. It’s humbling and terrifying all at once.
Man, I miss her. I miss her warm smile in the morning. I know that this rift between us will pass. I can't help my start to stress about the engagement on Saturday.
The nurse calls our name, snapping me back to reality. We walk down the hall to the exam room, and I try to steady myself. This is just a routine checkup.
The appointment goes smoothly, and Aura's given a clean bill of health. The doctor says she's growing on track, even if she's a little small for her age. To be honest, I don't mind. I like her small, it means she still my little girl.
I leave the office with a quiet hope—maybe next time, Millie will be here with us.
Maybe next time, we’ll walk in together. As a family.
I tuck that hope deep inside my chest, a fragile ember I promise to protect at all costs.
Amorino: darling
Piccolina: little one