Chapter 2 #6
“Did I stutter? I understand that English might not be my first language but it’s one that I’ve mastered well enough in at least two forms: the Standard American version and the Black American version.
The last, of course, is my favorite. I didn’t stutter.
Nothing about what I said called for you to do anything but tuck your tail and run along.
If you’re unable to do that, then we have a larger problem than I originally thought.
” I raised one brow giving him the haughtiest look I could manage without physically touching him to make my point.
I envisioned wrapping a rope around his neck and pulling until his eyes bulged out.
And this, Asha, is why we haven’t gotten any further toward our dominatrix goals.
I had been under the illusion that being a dominatrix would allow me the space to fulfill my desires and still have the power dynamic I craved.
Only my brain wouldn’t allow me to take that step because I knew having that type of unchecked power with someone took a lot of trust and I was too prone to do more harm than good if my track record was any sign.
To be fair, they had it coming.
So did he, but since his only crime was offending me I felt like it was too much to punish him with death.
He lowered his head but I could tell that it pained him to do so.
I sneered again internally because he wasn’t into this role the way he claimed he was.
That meant that he would no longer have my attention or access to me after tonight.
His only way to contact me was through my account or through the chat feature on the Explicit forum.
I’d contact the admin to have his access to me revoked as soon as I got back home.
“My apologies. I await your attention whenever you decide to give it to me.”
He did some ridiculous bow before scurrying away.
My eyes followed him and sure enough he needed to have his ego stroked since I wasn’t up for the task.
He was heading into the room that was essentially a mass orgy.
Women and men stood on the sidelines observing until they decided they wanted to be chosen.
The actions could be viewed from an area of the club called The Deck where voyeurs could get their fix by watching every form of sex possible.
It also gave them a closer view of the aerial artists.
I’d been in the area several times myself and although it didn’t move me it was interesting to see how people would act when they felt as though no one knew them.
“Did the piggy cross the lines?”
No. Absolutely not.
I was startled at the sound of a voice that seemed close to me yet I didn’t detect a physical presence.
My eyes narrowed as I took in the scent that seemed to smack me in the face when that impossible voice reached my ear.
It was a deep rich scent: a mix of koa wood, Maile leaf and pikake.
The fragrance was subtle, as though there had been an attempt to wash it from his skin but the attempt had failed because it had melded itself so deep it was part of his natural odor.
I’m losing my mind.
That wouldn’t have been unusual. In fact, I was due to have a mental fracturing considering all that life had thrown at me. Well, another mental fracturing but I didn’t want to believe that my mind splintering had conjured up a man who sounded like sin and smelled like paradise.
What kind of awful joke would that be for a self-proclaimed misandrist?
I ignored what had to be a figment of my imagination and took in the people who were here tonight. The conjuring of a voice that sounded like the deepest, darkest and most sensual embodiment of lust had to be some new type of masochism. It was the only logical explanation I had.
Again, I wondered why I tortured myself with coming here.
The silent battle of proclaiming myself above it all but undoubtedly intrigued by it as well dueled like combatants in my mind.
Each side carrying validity and neither ensured of victory without total destruction.
Sadly, that was the inevitable conclusion I’d drawn.
And to think Teegan thought she was making some headway with me.
I chuckled at my joke smiling internally at my thoughts knowing full well that Tee knew I was a hopeless case.
She attempted to shrink my head in order to keep me tethered to the humanity I’d long since lost. The beauty of friendship, I guess.
Attempting to keep your friend from being fully submerged in a fiery pit of abject madness, despite the flames already having consumed them up to their necks.
Does that mean my head is still safe from it though?
“I would compliment how lovely your smile is but I feel as though that would only earn me even more of your silent treatment.”
The voice was back but it was accompanied by more than just the scent. Now the physical presence that had been lacking before was there. It radiated heat and awareness that had me standing up straight, spine rigid and attempting to parse out the feelings washing over me yet again.
I felt on fire. A warmth that I wasn’t used to spread all over my body like a rash and had to be the embodiment of hellfire with the way it seemed to scorch every part of me against my will.
What the hell is that?
This was what had been missing when Mr. Perfect at the door had greeted me and offered his services.
This innate reaction that no amount of logic could quell.
My brain was telling me to run, which was not going to happen.
History had proven I wasn’t a weak bitch and I hadn’t survived everything I’d been through to, in the words of Teegan, bitch up now.
I turned, wondering if this was a new manifestation of my mind or if this person were truly real.
I grounded myself momentarily watching the women hang from the ceiling in their silks knowing that they were real.
I didn’t imagine things often, normally what I saw were flashbacks of my pain but I wasn’t going to take a chance when something this…
potent had its hold on me. When I landed on the entity, because calling him a man was woefully under-characterizing his being, I felt the need to tell Teegan to check me into a facility immediately.
I might actually need the anti-hallucinogens after all.
“Are you real?”
My words were barely a whisper but I could tell he’d heard them.
I’d heard them and had to quickly slip back into character because my accent had slipped out.
Face covered up or not, I wasn’t going to risk being found out.
Of course, there were ways to handle my secrets getting exposed if it happened.
I simply didn’t like the mess of the different sides of my life mingling.
Society was far too strict on women with things like sex and their control over their own bodies.
If anyone I knew in a professional capacity knew I frequented a place like this, even if I never partook in activities, my myriad of degrees would be deemed worthless in their eyes all over what they would think was a moral failing.
Pompous, self-righteous pricks.
I had to blink again because my mind had wandered but my eyes had not.
They were still on the person in front of me and I was battling with myself on whether I should poke him to see if he was corporeal or not.
This place was one where the bounds of normal society were loosened but I could see the red and black bracelet on his wrist that matched mine.
It signaled that permission was needed before someone could physically engage with him and now I was even more curious as to why he was here.
My God, what are you doing, Asha?
Right now I was gawking. And frankly, I couldn’t help myself.
A half mask covered the defining features of his face but it didn’t matter because what I could see showed he was undeniably attractive.
His jaw was wide and strong, cheekbones razor sharp and his lips full and a deep pink with a darker top lip that accented the deep bronze of his skin.
His height was impossibly tall and although I knew genes were funny things his features didn’t match his height.
At least I didn’t think they did. This man was almost two meters tall and despite my normally impressive height of 5’11, I had to crane my neck to look up at him.
And that was with the heels I’d worn tonight.
“Is that flirtatious banter or are you questioning your lucidity because you’ve taken something?”
My brows dipped and I glared at him from beneath my mask.
His words caused an immediate reaction and I hated him for it.
His voice was arresting. So deep I was surprised that I’d heard him over the moans and fanfare of people reaching their peak around us.
And the sound sent that fire skittering through my veins yet again.
My hair was pulled back into a bun that now felt too tight as I battled the urge to squirm beneath his watchful gaze.
My focus now sharpened on the person I felt would change my mind on men being a worthless distraction beyond the need to procreate.
And judging by the near-ambivalent look on his face I knew he was amazing at it.
No one who didn’t have verifiable proof of their efficiency and mastery of a subject would look so disinterested in a setting like this.
He had nothing to prove and that made me even more intrigued.