Chapter 8 Family Matters #2
As if my refusal would stop her. “Of course you can it’s me, you fool.”
“I thought that maybe you were in need of an intense sexual release all these years and that maybe when you found someone that could deliver on it that the misandrist in you would die a slow death.”
“You think that one man has the power to turn me away from hating all men? By using his dick? Are you insane? It’s not all men but it’s always a man.
Wars, started by men. Even when they tried to blame things on Helen of Troy no one told her husband to launch a thousand ships to go after her.
And truly, was he saving her or simply saving face for having lost his wife to someone else? ”
“Christ, Asha, we are not about to get into a philosophical debate on Greek mythology. I absolutely refuse to do this with you today. My brain cannot handle it.” I knew she was rubbing her eyes the way she did when I was doing too much.
“Then stop making me think. Don’t ask me questions that test the bounds of my sanity and my intellect.
You thought that good dick, a pretty face and a towering form were going to make me change my hard-fought and well-researched view of men and their ability to destroy everything they touch?
Frankly, I’m not you and you aren’t the you that you pretend to be.
You might not sit here and actively think that men are the worst sex on earth but there’s a part of you that thinks it’s true.
I’ve heard plenty of stories about what goes on in the industry and I’ve witnessed your sorrows over those same issues.
I know that most of the heartaches that you’ve faced in this life were at the hands of men or male-centered women and their ideals.
I’m willing to stop babbling whenever I’m wrong, by the way. ”
She grunted because she knew I was right. “Shut up, you know you’re right.”
“Thank you for admitting that. So you see why it’s kinda ridiculous for you to be hoping for some mythical prince who's going to sweep you off your feet and take you to a kingdom where you’ll be worshipped is fanciful.
That’s what childhood dreams are made of and I’m sorry that this world has crushed those childhood dreams. Trust me, I wish that the idealism we are born with lasted longer than a few short years but it’s not the reality because of men and their unyielding desire to appease their egos.
To be grounded in reality is to live a life of fulfillment without constantly wishing for something that was never meant for all of us.
They sell fairytales to little girls. To get us hooked on the idea of love.
It’s like the first hit of an addict at a young age and it rewires your brain.
You start to look for that high in everything and in everyone without being logical about what to look for.
And then by the time puberty hits you’re a full-blown addict.
They sell the idea of being a princess to little girls but never the ideals of being Prince Charming to little boys.
Boys are being taught to dominate and to rule and to dictate.
We’re sold the fairytale and they’re handed the power.
Until something in this world changes, nothing is ever going to be different. ”
“So tell me again why you’re getting married?” Sasha’s voice was softer and I knew I’d upset her but I couldn’t take it back because I wasn’t wrong.
“Because I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I could’ve been able to help an entire country of people and didn’t all because I didn’t want to marry a man. I’m not that bloody selfish.”
She sighed and I wasn’t sure if it was because she was confused or angry with me. “Is it that simple?”
“Yes. What else could it be?”
“You said that he was tall, handsome and well-endowed, if how your voice hitches slightly when you speak of him counts for anything. Just how large is he?”
“Asmarina, there are very few things in this world that will ever anger me toward you. But even thinking about the phallus of my husband is amongst those few.” It took everything in me not to cuss my twin out for her even asking me about Ori.
“Hmmm, so I’m right. It is big isn’t it?”
“I’m going to go now. I guess it was a mistake to call you for peace of mind. You’ve decided to get on my nerves.”
“I have to say you were truly born under a lucky star. Only you could find a tall, handsome, intelligent, rich, well-connected man with an enormous dick who’s willing to move into your home so that you’re comfortable with this transition.
And to think the misandrist might have found her Prince Charming after all. ”
I couldn’t help but pause at the way her words struck.
They were sharp like an arrow. Piercing a wall that I didn’t need breached.
I wasn’t going to confess that I was okay with Ori because he was…
tolerable. Were I a different woman I would probably swoon whenever he walked into a room.
He was darkness and light. Good and bad.
A blend of a bad boy with a heart of gold that most women prayed for.
I knew without a doubt that if necessary he would end someone’s life and probably had many times before.
But he would always have a good reason. On that we were evenly yoked.
But that confession would lead Sasha to hope that something more would come of this union with Ori.
Some joy that I might end up better than she could ever imagine.
And I couldn’t break her heart that way.
Instead, I shifted the focus back to her and off myself. I was always good at deflecting so there was no need not to now.
“Well, if any of that’s true, I guess there’s still hope for you yet. Only aim for a moral king instead of a charming prince. Charm is fleeting.”
She laughed and I prayed my words lessens her anger with me. “I’ll put that in my book of dreams tonight.”
Sasha and I didn’t stay on the phone for much longer after that and I was doing my best to stay out of the way.
His footsteps around the house were heavy.
Advertising where he was going and what he was doing with no regard to how I felt.
I was angry. Angry at knowing he wasn’t going to go away gently or ever for that matter.
That all of this was permanent and instead of being my normally combative self I’d swallowed this future down without complaint.
I was aggravated. More with myself than him and the longer I sat around hearing him doing whatever the hell he was doing in my house the angrier I got.
I hopped up from the sofa in my home office and tore blindly into the hallway.
I didn’t note anything that had changed so far but I didn’t care.
I was on a mission and I needed him to know he wasn’t going to change me or the rest of my home without me putting up a fight.
My sister’s words echoed in my head about her hoping he would change me and I refused to let that become my reality.
“What is all this bloody racket?”
I was shouting like a fishwife, all manners out the door but it got their attention. Everyone in the room came to a halt. Ori was shirtless as some special type of torture and Alec was standing there as well, looking completely amused.
“You understand I’m moving in, right? It’s not a silent task.”
He put his hands on his hips and I realized for the first time he wasn’t in a suit.
It was the first time since the first night that we met that I’d seen him in anything but.
And I’d never seen his bare skin. But now it was fully on display and I realized that he was covered on one side of his body in ink.
What else don’t I know about this man I’m supposed to be marrying?
Everything.
His skin was a reddish-golden brown and one side of his body was covered in alternating light and dark triangles. His body was muscular, which was clear under the suits he wore but seeing it bare highlighted by the sun made my knees feel weak.
Ori snapped his fingers and Alec had his lips pressed together like he was trying not to laugh.
I came out of the tunnel vision I had staring at his body to frown at his face.
“Why on earth are you snapping your fingers at me like I’m a bloody dog?”
He looked smug and I braced myself for what he was going to say.
“Maybe because you’re staring at me like I’m a bone.”
A strangled sound let loose from Alec who turned his back to us like he was attempting to be respectful. What a shame my so-called fiancé didn’t have the same level of decorum.
“That was base.”
“At least you didn’t lie to yourself and pretend like it wasn’t honest.”
“Alec, can you give us a moment, please?”
“Sure. I’ll check and see if there’s anything else in the truck.”
Alec was still fighting the urge to laugh but I was happy he at least was kind enough to fake an excuse to leave. As soon as the door closed I turned to Ori with murder on the brain.
“Why are you trying to make this harder than it has to be?”
“I should be asking you that. We’re here, together. It’s a deal—”
“Not yet—”
He went to the back of the dolly, which had moved God only knows what into the space and wiped his sweat with the t-shirt he’d laid there.
“Kid yourself if you want to. You aren’t going anywhere so stop dangling it out like it’s a possibility.
You’re not doing shit but making this harder than it has to be. ”
“I don’t think so. I think you want me to be something I’m not and I resent you for it.”
“How am I trying to change you? What have I said that has given you that impression? I’m trying to be your friend.” His face was calm and his words held a note of sincerity I couldn’t refute. It didn’t stop me from being angry.
“Friend? Think of yourself as an in-home, flesh, blood and bone dildo. For me to use whenever I need the release. I promise I won’t bother you all that often.”
“And how is that supposed to make me feel? You want me to be free use but won’t return the favor.”