Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
NOVA
I sit at a table in my favorite boba tea shop, waiting for Brandon to bring our drinks.
Wearing a black leather jacket and jeans, he stands out in the tiny cafe with pink-and-yellow striped walls.
I would have found it endearing weeks ago, but my mind strays to Aiden and how he’d look in here with me.
I frown and rest my palm against my cheek, my elbow propped on the table.
I should have talked to Aiden this morning before he rushed out the door, but there was barely any time to mention what I overheard.
So I stayed silent while he got ready, then kissed him before he left, telling him to be safe.
The heated look he gave me after ending the kiss was enough to make me question the legitimacy of what he said to Ryder.
In my desperate attempt to wrangle back these feelings, I called Brandon and flirted with him, needing that spark between us—or at least the spark in me for him. He seemed to take an interest and asked if he could take me out today for a drink and a movie.
“One strawberry boba tea for you.” Brandon sets a large purple cup in front of me. He settles into the chair across from me and holds a regular coffee cup with a proud smile. “And one regular hot tea for me.”
I stare at his cup as he cradles it between his palms. Frowning, I turn to mine and toy with the pink straw poking out of the drink.
Aiden would have sat beside me, his arm slung over my shoulder.
“Have you ever had boba tea?” I peek at Brandon through my lashes.
He eyes my drink, his lip curling in disgust before he catches himself and relaxes his features. “It’s kind of weird that it has those pearls in there. I don’t like my drinks having floating pieces in them.”
“It’s not that bad, and it’s tasty. You should try mine.” I hold my drink out to him with a smile, willing my old feelings for him to return so I’m not being a fool by falling for my playboy brother.
Brandon rubs the back of his neck with an awkward smile. “Nah, I’m good. Besides, I don’t like strawberry-flavored anything. It’s pretty gross. But enjoy your drink.”
My smile falls, and I lower the drink to the table, along with my gaze.
Aiden would have leaned forward and wrapped his lips around the straw while holding my gaze and drinking half of my boba tea. Then he would have winked, licked his lips, and come up with a half-hearted apology about how everything of mine tastes better.
My eyebrows pinch together.
No, he would have sat beside me, already drinking my tea, and winked. I wouldn’t have had to ask him to try it for him to taste test and say how much he loves it.
Brandon’s knee bumps against mine, and I peek at him. He flashes an apologetic smile before finding everything else in the room more interesting than me.
This doesn’t feel right, being here with him, while I’m thinking about another man that has no business always being on my mind.
I don’t like Brandon the way I adore Aiden, and I have no clue when things shifted.
Being here with him feels as though I’m doing him a favor.
I’d rather be at home with the man I love, teasing him about something silly he does or says.
I want to curl up with him on the couch and watch a scary movie to get in the mood for the Halloween party in two weeks in the creepy cabin in the woods that he swears isn’t haunted.
My heart skips a beat, and a blush crawls up my neck as the truth I’ve been running from slaps me in the face.
Oh, fuck. I didn’t just catch feelings for Aiden. I’m in love with him, and I can’t smother the feeling anymore. It’s overwhelming, to the point where it’s hard to breathe, and I need him here with me. I don’t know what to do. He said not to fall for him, and I’m an idiot for doing exactly that.
Brandon’s gaze slips to me, and his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. “You’re making me shy, looking at me like that.”
I blink and face away from him, my hand inching to the spot behind my ear and scraping my nail against my scalp. I didn’t realize I was staring at him while coming to that startling epiphany.
“I think I should go,” I mumble.
His eyebrows shoot up his forehead, and he leans forward over the table. “But we just got here. We still haven’t gone to the movies like we planned.”
“I’m in love with my boyfriend.” I glance at him, gauging his reaction before looking away.
Brandon frowns and cocks his head. “I thought you were going to break up with him?”
“I don’t want to.” I drop my hand into my lap with a sigh. It’ll happen eventually. Things will end between Aiden and me, and he’ll move on to his next fling. And I’ll have to watch him treat the other woman the same way he treated me, making her believe he’s genuine.
Brandon eases backward and folds his arms over his chest. His knee bumps against mine as he stretches his legs. “We aren’t doing anything wrong by hanging out, you know.”
“Do you like me?” I ask. It doesn’t go over my head that just a little over a month ago, I was too afraid to ask him this because of my fear of rejection. Now? I hope he says he doesn’t like me, but I have a feeling he does, which will only make me feel worse for leading him on.
“Of course I like you,” he says, aghast. “How can I not? You’re beautiful, funny, charming—”
“This is a date, Brandon,” I say. “You paid for my drink and you’re taking me to the movies. I love my boyfriend, and I don’t want to lose him. If we were hanging out as friends, that’s one thing. But I can’t be here with you like this. I’m really sorry.”
“You were just complaining about him the other night and saying how big of a jerk he is. And now you’re in love? Damn.” He sighs and glances away. “I get it. Love makes you blind, and I want the best for you.”
“I’m an idiot,” I mumble, a lump forming in the back of my throat.
Brandon’s head whips toward me, repulse twisting his features. “Hey, you’re not an idiot.”
He doesn’t understand, and he never will. I’m an idiot because I fell for my brother and broke his number one rule, and I don’t know if he feels the same way. Especially not after what I heard yesterday.
There is no happy ending for us.
“Does he know?” Brandon asks.
I shake my head.
Sympathy softens his features. “You should talk to him.”
I side-eye Brandon, the sour feeling in my stomach worsening.
That has got to be the worst idea. Tell Aiden that I’m in love with him? My brother would shut down and end everything between us. I’d be in the same situation as all of his previous flings before me.
“Yeah, I’ll do that,” I say instead of telling him the truth. He’ll argue with me and want to know why I can’t tell Aiden. I shove my chair away from the table and stand. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Brandon leaps to his feet and follows me toward the door. “I can take you home.”
“That’s not necessary, but thanks.” I stop and tilt my head to look up at him. “I really am sorry for leading you on.”
He frowns. “You don’t need to be sorry, Nova. You did nothing wrong.”
I force a smile, even though I still feel like crap for playing with his feelings, and now he thinks he was the one who messed up. “If you say so.”
The day is dragging, and no amount of binging my favorite anime is enough to pass the time. I can’t stop thinking about this morning with Brandon—or rather, the moment I finally realized that I’m in love with Aiden.
The best plan of action moving forward is to act the same. To continue being myself with him, enjoy the time with him as much as I can, and pray that this doesn’t end badly if he ever finds out how I really feel about him.
A sarcastic laugh bubbles out of me, and I catch the end of my cherry Twizzler twist between my teeth.
Easier said than done, Nova. I can’t be around Aiden without acting like a lovesick puppy and giggling at whatever he says, funny or not.
A fist bangs against the front door, each thud harder than the last. I toss the candy onto the sofa’s cushion and creep to the part of the living room window that isn’t covered with duct tape to keep the elements out of the house.
Because of the angle, I can’t see who’s at the door.
I inch backward and freeze when I catch a flash of brown and blue hair.
I rush to the front door and swing it open. “What are you guys doing here?”
Madison clutches Ryder’s chest. “I love you, too.”
My jaw drops when Ryder cups her cheeks and smashes his lips to hers, kissing her hard before resting his forehead against hers and playing with a lock of her hair.
“This isn’t goodbye, so don’t make it seem like one.” Madison tangles her fingers in Ryder’s dark hair and tugs, earning a groan from him.
I step back and roll my lips together to keep from laughing like an idiot.
I get the impression I’m interrupting them and shouldn’t be here.
“Behave, sis.” Ryder kisses her one more time before jogging down the path toward the street.
Madison turns to me, her cheeks flushed. “Sorry about that.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, but clearly we have a lot to catch up on since we last saw each other.”
She grins. It’s tight but welcome. I wave her inside and shut the door behind her.
I last saw her when we went to the mall to shop for Halloween costumes with Olivia.
We ran into Dahlia and Jaxon in the food court, which was a serious plot twist. Especially after learning they were married and clearly in love.
Ryder joined last minute, and it makes sense now why he would show up and hang around Madison.
She doesn’t need to explain herself to me. I’m the last person to pass judgment on her.
I’m just happy she’s here so I’m not sitting in the house, alone and in my head.
“Feel like watching a scary movie and chatting?” I grab the remote. “We have so much to catch up on.”