22. Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
I sat in my store in a daze over what happened. Elias gave me a kiss, it was a chaste kiss… but a kiss all the same. I hadn’t been expecting it…and because of that I had quickly said goodbye and am now hiding in my store.
I didn’t know how much time went but it was getting closer and closer to when Soren would arrive. I didn’t know how I was supposed to react. Sure, I was attracted and comfortable around Elias…and just starting to feel the same with Finn and Lucian. They were all mates…so did that mean that is what they all wanted?
“Don’t think about it.” I muttered to myself, running a hand over my face trying to shake off all of the fears trying to overtake me.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. The kiss had been unexpected, but not unwelcome. Part of me wanted to analyze every moment, every interaction that had led to this point. But another part, a growing part, just wanted to let myself feel without overthinking everything for once.
The chime of the door startled me out of my reverie. I looked up to see Elias entering, a slightly sheepish expression on his face. Behind him was a man I didn't recognize— tall and lean, with blonde hair that looked more white than anything and purple eyes. This must be Soren.
"Lydia," Elias said softly, his honey-warm scent tinged with nervousness. "I hope it's still okay that we stopped by. This is Soren."
I nodded, forcing a small smile despite the butterflies in my stomach. "Hello," I managed, my voice barely audible to even my own ears.
Soren gave me a look, before he looked at Elias, “Why don’t you head home. I will talk to Lydia.” Elias started to protest but he bowed his head once he got a sharp look from the other man.
Elias gave me a small smile, eyes sad before he left me alone with Soren who gave me a sympathetic smile, “I thought it would be better to talk with just us, rather than have Elias here.”
“Because of what happened earlier?” I asked, eyes glancing away from the man who moved to stand in front of the checkout counter.
“Yes. The kiss.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Do you want to close the store so we can talk without any interruptions?”
I took a deep breath and nodded, standing and going to the door before locking it and flipping the closed sign around. I then pulled the blinds down so there was more privacy. I was a bit nervous to be alone with this unknown Alpha, but at the same time I was so out of it I just wanted to get this conversation over with before going home and sleeping.
I turned back to face Soren, my heart pounding in my chest. He was leaning casually against the counter, his purple eyes watching me intently. There was something soothing about his presence, despite my nervousness.
"Thank you for agreeing to talk," Soren said, his voice gentle. "I know this must be overwhelming for you."
I nodded, not trusting my voice. Soren's scent— Sandalwood with a hint of cinnamon— calming some of my anxiety.
"Let's sit," he suggested gently, gesturing to the small seating area I had set up near the front window for customers to browse the art books. I nodded, moving to take a seat in one of the plush armchairs. Soren settled into the chair across from me, his tall frame somehow managing to look relaxed despite the tension in the air.
"I want to apologize for Elias's actions," Soren began, his voice soft but firm. "He can be... impulsive at times, especially when he's excited about something. But that's no excuse for making you uncomfortable."
"I wasn't..." I started, then paused, unsure how to express the tangle of emotions inside me. "I was just surprised and confused."
Soren's purple eyes softened, “What are you confused about? I know he has been courting you…” He didn’t even get to finish that before I looked at him with wide eyes.
“…did you not know?” Soren asked, blinking in confusion, “Elias has made it very obvious he was trying to court you and we agreed to do the same once we heard about you.”
I felt my heart skip a beat at Soren's words. Courting? The realization hit me like a wave, suddenly putting all of Elias's actions— the gentle touches, the thoughtful gestures, the way his scent spiked when he was around me— into a new perspective.
"Courting me?" I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper. "I... I didn't realize..."
Soren's purple eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Oh, Lydia," he said softly, his voice filled with understanding. "I'm so sorry. We thought... Well, we thought you knew. Elias has been quite open about his intentions, at least from our perspective."
He paused probably seeing the lost look on my face, “That and when Finn and Lucian met you they fully came on board and knew once I met you we all would be trying to court you as well.”
I felt my heart racing, a mix of emotions swirling inside me. Part of me was thrilled at the idea that these kind, attractive men were interested in me. But another part, the part that had been hurt before, was terrified.
"I thought... "I paused to look at Soren in a new light with this information, “I thought they were being friendly and that is it…I hadn’t even thought someone would court me…”
Soren was quiet for a minute, looking at me with purple eyes lit with such interest that I wondered what he was looking for. He gave a sigh as he leaned forward, his gaze gentle but intense, “Lydia, can I ask you something?”
I nodded slowly, a frown on my face as his gaze stayed just intense as he continued, “How do you feel about Elias? About the thought of us?”
I felt my cheeks warm at the direct question. How did I feel? The truth was, I wasn't entirely sure. Elias made me feel safe, comfortable in a way I hadn't felt in years. And the others— I had only met Lucian once…and Finn a couple more than that. Even with that, they made me feel safe and cherished with how they spoke– not to mention their actions around me.
I took a deep breath, trying to organize my swirling thoughts. "Elias… he makes me feel safe," I admitted softly, my eyes fixed on my hands in my lap. "Comfortable, in a way I haven't felt in a long time. And the others— Finn and Lucian— even though I've only known them for a short time, they make me feel… cherished, I suppose. The way they speak to me, the way they act around me..."
I trailed off, unsure how to put my complex emotions into words. Soren waited patiently, his purple eyes gentle and understanding, "And you... I don't know you yet, but you seem..." I trailed off, unsure how to describe the calming effect his presence had on me.
Soren nodded encouragingly, his purple eyes warm. "It's okay to be unsure, Lydia. Feelings can be complicated, especially when you've been hurt before."
I blinked in surprise at his perceptiveness. "How did you...?"
He gave me a gentle smile. "I'm observant. And the way you react to certain things... it speaks of abuse.”
I flinched at those words, “I wasn’t…”
He shook his head, “Emotional abuse is still abuse…” I shut my mouth at this. My parents never raised a hand at me, but I had been yelled at and belittled my whole life… and told that I was only good to have children and make alliances with a more powerful pack.
I felt tears prick my eyes at Soren's words. No one had ever put it so bluntly before, had ever acknowledged the pain I'd carried for so long. I blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears.
"I..." I started, then paused, unsure how to continue. Soren waited patiently, his gaze filled with gentle understanding and sympathy.
"You're right," I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "My parents... they never hit me, but they made it clear that I was a disappointment. That my only value was in making a good match, having children..." I held back the whimper that I wanted to escape my lips.
Soren leaned forward slightly, his voice soft but firm. "Lydia, what they did isn’t right…but I know anything I say won’t make you feel better…but we want to be there for you.” I gave a small smile at his kind words.
"I..." I started, then paused, taking a deep breath. "I'm scared," I admitted softly. "The idea of letting people in, of being vulnerable... It terrifies me."
Soren nodded, his expression compassionate. "That's understandable, Lydia. You've been hurt before, and it's natural to want to protect yourself. But I want you to know that if you decide to give us a chance, we will do everything in our power to make you feel safe and cherished."
I felt a lump forming in my throat at Soren's words. The sincerity in his voice, the gentle understanding in his eyes— it was almost overwhelming.
"I don't know if I can," I whispered, my voice trembling slightly. "I've spent so long building walls, protecting myself. The thought of letting them down..."
Soren nodded, his purple eyes soft with understanding. "It's scary, I know. But Lydia, those walls you've built— they don't just keep out the pain. They keep out the joy too. The love, the connection."
His words hit me like a gentle wave, washing over the carefully constructed barriers I'd built around my heart. I felt tears prick at my eyes again, but this time I didn't try to hold them back.
"We're not asking you to tear down all your walls at once," Soren continued, his voice short as he reached forward and whipped away the tears falling down my cheeks.
Soren nodded, his expression thoughtful. “We would never push you to do anything you're not comfortable with. But may I suggest something?"
I nodded hesitantly, curious despite my apprehension.
"Why don't we take things slow?" Soren suggested, his voice gentle. "No pressure, no expectations. Just... get to know each other. All of us. We can start with group outings, maybe some one on one time if you're comfortable. You will be the one to set the pace.”
I felt a flutter of both excitement and fear at Soren's suggestion. The idea of getting to know them better, of potentially opening myself up to something more, was both thrilling and terrifying. But the way Soren phrased it— taking things slow, no pressure— made it seem less daunting.
"I... I think I'd like that," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Taking things slow sounds good." That and I didn’t want to give up what I had started to build with Elias and the others too… I had the most fun when I was with them…I wanted to keep that in my life. Keep them in my life.
Soren's face lit up with a warm smile, his purple eyes twinkling. "I'm glad to hear that, Lydia. We'll follow your lead, and if at any point you feel uncomfortable or want to slow things down even more, just let us know. We are in this for the long run.”
I nodded, feeling a mix of nervousness swirling in my stomach. "Thank you," I murmured. "For being so understanding."
I hoped that I wouldn’t come to regret this.