10. Luna
Luna
I think I was too high off of Ian touching me and someone going down on me for the first time that it hits me when we’re in the car.
“Ian, what are we doing?” I ask, clutching against my seatbelt that I don’t even remember putting on and glancing over at him.
“I’m taking you home,” he says matter-of-factly.
“You mean your home.”
“Our home,” he says.
While this is always what I’ve wanted, I start to panic. My breathing is irregular, and I tug the seatbelt away from my chest as I try and calm down.
“Fucking shit,” Ian says as he swerves the car and parks at the closest gas station.
He grabs the sides of my face and stares at me. “Baby, hey. Luna, little moon. Look at me, baby.”
My eyes flick to his, and I just stare at the deep pools of brown in front of me.
“That’s it, good girl. Breathe in and out.”
I wrap my hands around his wrists, and I try to breathe in and out. My heart rate calms down as I continue staring at him.
“If you really want to go back to Margo and my dad’s house, I’ll take you.”
I shake my head and breathe in and out. “I…I”
“Let’s go get food and then talk, okay? We can talk it through.”
I nod my head. It feels like my tongue weighs a million pounds, and my heart won’t slow down.
It’s one thing to have a fantasy but another completely for it to come to reality.
My stepbrother went down on me and basically forced me to accept his claim on me, and now he wants me to move into his house?
He told me it was more than physical, but what the fuck does that mean?
My head is spinning, and this all feels like it’s happening too fast. My mom is going to freak the fuck out.
What will people say and think about us if this really becomes a thing?
What if they like me for now but decide I’m not a good fit later on?
What if I never compare to James? They already have such a beautiful Omega.
Ian’s large hand grabs my thigh as he squeezes the flesh. “Stop overthinking.”
“I can’t just stop thinking,” I say back. How is he so calm and so sure about this?
He sighs and squeezes again, his hand is warm and big, and I can’t help but have flashbacks of him holding my thighs around his face. It makes me blush, and I can’t help my perfume thickening in the cab of the car.
Glancing over at Ian, he smirks and inhales. “That’s the good kind of thinking. Keep thinking about whatever you’re thinking about now.”
I blush and try to tone it down, but there’s no hope.
My sexual experience is depressingly limited.
While I masturbate like it’s a chronic condition, it just never felt right with anyone.
I almost went all the way with a guy I met online, a Beta named Lenny.
While he was blond and super nice, he was nothing like the larger than life man sitting next to me.
Is it pathetic to save your virginity for your stepbrother? Or is it even worse to save it, the opportunity is finally yours, and you feel like you might have a mental breakdown?
I attempt to rub my thighs together, but Ian doesn’t let me. His fingertips grip my thigh tightly, preventing them from touching each other.
Ian parks the car and glances at me questioningly. “What?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Let’s go eat.
” He gets out first and gets my car door for me.
I feel extremely underdressed next to Ian as we go into the small diner.
A friendly woman in a baby blue dress and an apron smiles at us and grabs two menus, then leads us to a cozy booth in the corner.
Everything in the diner is 50s themed, except for the mini jukebox at our table, which has songs that go up to the 90s.
I felt underdressed before, but now that we’re seated, Ian is the one who looks out of place with his perfectly styled hair and what I imagine is an extremely expensive suit.
“So?” I tilt my head, looking at him.
He scrubs his beard with the palm of his hand. “This all went a lot easier in my head,” he says.
I swallow, and the waitress drops off our waters. “Ready to order?”
“Can I have a Belgium waffle with strawberries and whipped cream? Oh, and a side of bacon, please,” I ask the waitress with a smile.
“Sure thing, sweetheart. And for you?”
“I’ll do the Greek omelet.”
The waitress walks away, and I rub my arm, thinking about how I should have gotten something healthier.
“How long have you wanted this?” I say softly, taking a big gulp of water and looking down at the table.
“The last two years,” he says.
My mouth opens in surprise. “But you’ve been with James and Ezra.”
“Just James, and I didn’t want to feel this way.
” I nod my head; of course he didn’t. I rip up the straw rapper and make tiny little balls on the table.
Ian’s hand grabs mine, and I look up at him.
“Only because you’re younger and my stepsister.
It would have been better for you if you found a pack that didn’t have so much baggage. ”
I blink at him a few times. “I’ve always been in love with you, you know?” It’s Ian’s turn to be shocked as he looks at me with a softness I don’t think I’ve ever seen from him.
“What?”
I shake my head and go back to my straw paper.
“You were the first person who ever thought about me and took care of me. So I always put you on this unobtainable pedestal. No one would ever compare, and they haven’t.
But it was only supposed to be a fantasy.
I tried to shut it down when you brought James and Ezra over for the first time, but it only got harder.
James is beautiful, and I knew I didn’t stand a chance, but I’ve never stopped wanting. ”
He squeezes my wrist, and I look up at him. “James is beautiful, and Ezra is kind, but our pack dynamic is far from perfect.”
The waitress brings our food to the table, and when I see how good the waffles look, I’m so glad I didn’t get something like Ian’s sad looking omelet.
I hum as I eat and catch Ian giving me a small smile every now and then.
When we’re finished, she collects our plates and brings us both a cup of coffee.
I can’t hold back; this will be the question that determines where Ian takes me after this dinner.
“What is it you like about me?” I ask. Every deep insecurity I have is bubbling up at the surface, and I worry that he only wants me for my looks.
It’s the only thing that my mom has ever complimented me on.
I’ve never thought I was ugly, but who I am as a person, that’s where her insults dig the deepest.
Ian smiles, sips his coffee, and puts it down.
“I like that you’re almost as stubborn as me.
That you care about plants and animals more than you do about most people.
Though you have a soft heart for people you care about too.
That no matter how fucking terrible your mother is, you’re still a good person.
I like that you always ask others about themselves and actually listen.
I like when you give me shit and talk back to me.
I like how cute you are when you’re nervous and fidget with things.
But most of all? I like that you’re brave. ”
My heart is racing again as he says all of these things. He doesn’t mention my looks once. I feel close to crying, but I hold it in and shake my head.
“I’m not brave.”
“Oh, so dancing at a scent club, despite knowing how pissed your mother would be? Or how about that time you got suspended from the academy for putting Nair in that boy’s shampoo.”
“He called Julie a cunt,” I whisper, and Ian grins.
“It’s pretty brave to stand up for your friends.”
“Everyone should have someone that stands up for them,” I say softly.
“I want to be that person, Luna. We can go slow. Move at a pace you feel comfortable with. I’ve wanted to get you out of that house for years. Let me do that. Let me take care of you.”
“Okay,” I say softly. Ian smirks and nods his head. I watch as his shoulders release the tension he had been holding in.
“Okay,” he repeats, nodding his head.
“We have to go slow, though. I…I need to make sure that Ezra and James feel the same way and that this will work. If we’re really going to give this a try, everyone needs to agree.”
He nods, smiling widely, and I realize I haven’t seen him smile much and how contagious it is. I can’t help but to smile back. But it’s then the reality of telling my mom sinks in.
“My mom,” I say softly.
Ian shakes his head. “I told her that you’re moving in with us.”
My brows furrow, and Ian looks away.
“She didn’t find that odd?” He doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head. I sigh and look down at the table. “She was relieved?”
His hands reach out and squeeze mine. “Luna.”
“It’s okay. It’s not a surprise.”
Ian groans under his breath. “I fucking hate that bitch.”
Giggling is probably not the right response to him calling my mother a bitch, but if the shoe fits.
“My stuff?”
“Taken care of,” he responds evenly.
The waitress drops off our check with a soft smile on her face.
“Ugh, I remember when me and my Lionel were young and in love. Never lose the spark. Have a good night,” she says, and I can’t help the blush that takes over my face.
Ian slides out the booth and holds out his hand for me. I take it, and he helps me stand up.
He towers over me and places his hand on my lower back to pay and leave the restaurant. It’s brief, and I feel like I imagine the soft touch of his lips against the side of my head. My heart flutters, and it’s at this moment that I decide for sure that I’m all in.
I’m going to give this pack my everything and prove that I belong. This fantasy I’ve had all of these years could finally become a realty. I’m not going to let my mom or what anyone thinks get in the way of what could be mine.
I talk a big game in my head the whole ride to Ian’s house. But when the reality of actually living there sinks in, the nerves pick up again. What if this connection is only with Ian, and James and Ezra don’t like me as much?
As hard as it is, I push my anxiety down and take a deep breath as Ian pulls into the enormous garage and parks the car.