Chapter 17 - Diana
I spent more time in my closet this morning than I have in the last month and a half.
Picking an outfit to see Mom was easy. She didn’t care what I looked like.
And seeing her is more for me than for her.
I go to her grave a few times a year, usually after a really bad day or the holidays.
But honestly, lately my days are cured just by being with Karter.
I always come on her anniversary. I think Nana goes, too, but we never go together. She cracks too many jokes there. While I appreciate her humor, I don’t necessarily like the looks we get from the others visiting their loved ones while we’re laughing over something silly.
Seeing Mom isn’t the issue. It’s the after part.
Going from the cemetery to the clubhouse.
To a family event where I’ll be seen as Karter’s girl—I mean Law’s.
He’s been overly sweet the last few days, giving me tips on how to interact with others.
The biggest one is that everyone goes by their club name and not their given name, which is usually reserved for their old lady.
I panicked when he shared that lovely little nugget of information.
He only smiled and said it was different for me since I learned his name because I was caring for him.
And since I spoke to him as a nurse, no one corrected me when I used his given name.
But that changes today. I need to call him Law, mostly to keep the peace for everyone involved.
I know Ruby will be there. And while he said he didn’t give a shit what I called him, I’d rather not ruffle any more feathers by saying something I shouldn’t.
Being there’s probably going to be enough fun on its own.
At least I convinced him to tell the club I was coming. At first he said it wasn’t a big deal and that they’d know when I showed up, but I didn’t want that kind of shock for all parties involved.
“Pick the red one,” Nana calls up, and I scowl at the dress she so elegantly put on my bed.
It has spaghetti straps, and I swear I haven’t worn it in ten years.
I might fit into it still, but it’s completely inappropriate.
I’m going for nice girl, not skank. Or vamp, which Karter—I mean Law—informed me is what the club calls the girls who spend time there to make sure no single brothers are lonely for a night or something.
Not second-guessing my choice for the fifth time, I put on my capri pants and a light blue waffle-knit V-neck with wide short sleeves.
I choose sensible shoes as well, mostly because cute shoes and I are not a thing since I’m on my feet all the time for work, but also because I know I’ll be on the back of Law’s bike, and I’d rather be free of injuries and not get scraped up from the small rocks that fly up from the ground.
The rumble of a bike I’ve grown to love rattles the windows, alerting me that my ride is here.
I make my way downstairs, but I’m in no rush.
He’s made it very clear that he likes to pick me up at the door, and me coming out before he’s there is a big no for him.
Could be his old-fashioned upbringing or the life he leads.
I’m not as naive as I’m sure people think I am.
I know a club like the Hounds isn’t just in it for the cookie sales and the annual camp-out.
They do things. I’ve fixed up more than a few brothers with blood on them.
And while they say each time it’s because they fell, you can’t hide a knife wound or a gunshot wound.
But I do my part: patch up and move on. My job isn’t to question someone unless I feel they’ll cause more harm to themselves or to another.
The Hounds, as far as I know, are good for the town.
We haven’t seen any major drug problems or random deaths.
We’ve had a few run-ins with them, but so far no all-out wars between them and any other club that’s taken over the streets like the OK Corral.
That makes them okay in my book. Well, that and I’m dating one of them who used to run the entire group.
I didn’t need much convincing to see that Law could run the club.
He takes charge easily, and not just in the bedroom.
When he was at the hospital, people came to him for directions.
He spoke with authority and still does. He has knowledge, not just because of his age, but his experience in how to handle situations and different people.
He sure handles Nana well, and that isn’t something everyone can do.
When he knocks, Nana calls out from the chair she’s sitting in.
It’s in the living room but angled to allow her to see the front door and the TV at the same time.
Not that she’s watching whatever is on. She’s too busy trying to crochet a dinosaur or something.
I got her one of those “how-to” kits for her birthday, and she’s hooked on them—no pun intended.
“Don’t be a statue, dear. Open the door before the man lets himself in.”
Gladly, I open the door and smile. He’s a sight for sore eyes, even though I saw him yesterday. Still, I enjoy every sighting of him. He makes butterflies not only fly in my stomach but twitch with delight.
“Hey, Babygirl.” He leans in and gives me a soft kiss that makes my toes curl. Even soft and simple, I’m gushy over him.
“Hi,” I say on a sigh.
Nana’s snort makes me smile wider, and he does the same.
“If you guys are gonna keep acting like lovesick teenagers, can you at least do it where I can’t hear and see?”
“You could go to the other room,” I say with an eye roll.
“Wouldn’t help,” Law says out loud, then mock-whispers to me as he leans in, “Crazy bat has ears like one.”
“Damn straight I do. And it’s good you noticed. Now get out of here before I start you on my next project.”
Law straightens and genuinely asks, “What’s on the docket?”
No complaining about the free labor he keeps doing or that she always has something in mind for him.
Just him being his typical useful self and wanting to help.
Not sure if it’s because she’s my nana or if he’s just like this with everyone.
Though I’ve got a funny feeling that he’s like this with anyone he likes.
Which, from my understanding, is the people at the club and me. Plus Nana by association.
“Got more plans for the space above the garage. I think we should put a full room up there, and I can rent it to a college student or something.”
I whip my head around. This is completely new information to me. “Really? You want a stranger living above your inventory?”
She shrugs. “Maybe give him a few bucks off the rent if he helps or something. Not really sure. Just something I’m thinking about. Don’t get your panties in a twist over it. Especially since I’m not sure if you have any on right now.”
“Nana!” The blush that creeps up my face makes the room feel like it’s twenty degrees hotter.
She and Law just laugh at my reaction. Then he pulls me back to his chest and bends down in my ear. “That something I need to check on, darling?”
I ram my elbow into him and turn. “No,” I say with more force than necessary and scurry outside, his and Nana’s laughter following me.
“Text me the details on when you want to start,” Law tells her as a way of exiting. I know not to step off the porch without him, so he catches me easily with his arm over my shoulders and a kiss on my cheek. “Pretty sure Nana figured out your blush weakness.”
“You think?” I groan as we make it down to his bike, and we put our helmets on. He always has mine with him in case he decides he wants to randomly pick me up at the hospital or something. Always prepared, this one.
“Were you ever a Boy Scout?”
“No, why?”
“No reason,” I say with a smile, and then he’s pulling out onto the road.
He already knows where we’re headed. Moffatt Cemetery isn’t in town, which was one reason Mom picked it. That and she wanted to be buried by her dad.
The drive is easy, quiet except for when I direct him to the spot once we get inside.
I get off and unhook my helmet, setting it on the seat before I walk over to Mom.
I leave Law to his own devices, expecting him to just wait by his bike.
I asked him to come with me, but there’s zero obligation on his side to do anything other than just be here for me.
But I should have known he wasn’t just going to sit back and watch.
Him walking up to me is nice. Him kneeling down and putting a silk white rose in the vase that already has fake flowers in it all year long is entirely different. A flower I had no idea he had and must have been hidden in his saddlebag because I don’t think his vest has inside pockets.
“Hello, ma’am. Name’s Karter Hofstadter. Been dating your daughter a while now, and I’ve got to tell you, she’s one hell of a girl. You should be proud.”
I sniff, trying to keep the tears at bay, but I’m foolish to think I’ll be able to contain this overwhelming emotion inside. Especially when he looks back at me, and the intensity behind his eyes says he means every word.
He comes over, wraps me in his arms, kissing my head a few times, and just offers me support.
I never really know what to say to Mom. I know she isn’t here, not really, and that I can speak to her spiritual being anytime I want.
I do sometimes. But when I come here, my emotions take over, and I can barely get out more than a “Hi” or something small like that.
I try to say more, but my throat closes up and my chest gets tight.
I hate crying. It gives me a headache, which is why I try to avoid it at all costs.
I usually say nothing, just spend time with her. Which Law doesn’t seem to mind one bit.
We stay like that for twenty minutes. Long enough for me to take in having him here with me. Talking to mom for me and letting me find my own calm in the moment. Then I pat him on the arm and turn to face him.
“You good, Babygirl?” He pushes a stray bit of hair behind my ear as he looks over my entire face. The wind isn’t strong, but it’s steady enough to dry my initial tears.
“Yeah. Thank you.”
“Anything for you, darling.”
I rise onto my tiptoes and kiss him with as much thanks as I can put into it. Well, in front of my mother, anyway.
“One down,” he says.
“One to go,” I add with a determined nod.
Seeing Mom was always going to be the easy part.
This next one might make or break us. And I really hope it doesn’t break us because I’m not sure I can put myself back together if I lose Karter.
He’s become my everything in such a short amount of time, and I don’t want to know what the world would be like after having it all just to lose it.
It might not only crush my soul but my heart too. I think he stole it the moment he came under my care and opened his eyes.