Chapter 28
I was a product of them, wasn’t I?
Clara
“What a pious twat,” my father spat.
I glanced up at his scowling face, which was flushed an angry red colour.
“Recusing himself because he’s fucked you. Honestly, these legal wankers have sticks rammed so far up their arses it’s a wonder they can sit down.”
I didn’t reply, keeping my head down as we walked down the corridor from the court.
The judge had dismissed us until new counsel for the prosecution could be appointed.
Freddie had been taken back into custody, so my father and his vast entourage had wasted no time getting out of there.
Courtrooms were not their favourite places.
“At least we don’t have a fucking shark prosecuting him now,” Pinky said to my father. “That’s something. If he’s not in our pocket, the bastard’s conviction rate would be a big fucking problem.”
Dad rolled his eyes. “Would have been better if Runt here had done her fucking job properly.” He tightened his grip on my elbow and gave me a small shake.
“Why didn’t you prime him before the hearing?
Did you even ask him for a favour? He looked like he had no idea you’d be there.
You were supposed to butter him up. Make sure he went easy on Freddie. ”
“I did ask, but he refused, Dad,” I lied in a small voice. “I told you that last week. Rafe would never have thrown the case.” I was feeling lightheaded now with the stress of the situation and the pain of my dad’s iron grip on my elbow.
If my father found out that I hadn’t even asked Rafe to throw the case, he would beat me.
But Freddie’s case was child’s play compared to the case I’d probably triggered with the Big Terrible Thing. If Dad ever found out about the Big Terrible Thing, I knew without a doubt he would kill me.
I did not want to be beaten or killed, so I kept my mouth shut.
“Where the fuck has that scrawny bastard gone?” Dad muttered, pausing to turn us around to look for Skinny Pete. “Fuck’s sake,” he snapped. “He can catch us up.”
But when Dad tried to haul me along to keep moving, I stayed frozen in place, my gaze still fixed back down the corridor.
I couldn’t look away. Striding towards us was Rafe with his redheaded assistant counsel.
They had both removed their wigs but they were still wearing those long black robes over their suits.
It made Rafe seem even more intimidating and larger than life.
As I stared at him, for one mad moment my feet itched to start running towards him. I wondered what would happen if I ran straight into his arms and told him everything.
I winced as my father’s fingers tightened around my elbow and he gave me a rough shake.
“Let’s get a fucking move on, girl,” he snapped.
But I was too fixated on Rafe’s face to move.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out.
Then Rafe’s gaze moved to me and I flinched again.
I’d expected anger, but not quite the level of absolute hatred burning like blue fire in his eyes.
He had a right to that fury. A stupid little girl like me had wrecked his case, his career-building case.
For a powerful man like Rafe that had to be galling.
And he was powerful. I’d always known that. But seeing him here in the majestic surroundings of this courtroom, wielding his power and influence in the legal system, seeing how he fitted here, how he ruled this place, I understood exactly how powerful Rafe Sterling was.
More powerful than my family?
For a moment, it was like the fog of my anxiety cleared, and I was struck with a realisation.
Rafe Sterling was powerful enough to help me.
Why hadn’t I just told him what was happening?
Why hadn’t I confided in him about the Big Terrible Thing?
I’d been ready to tell him the day he brought Ophelia to the house, but then seeing him with her had changed my mind.
But so what if a woman like her was a better match for him?
So what if he didn’t love me after what happened today?
He had enough moral fibre to still help me, and he was powerful enough to do so.
Christ, I’d been really, really stupid. I was so used to being let down by people – from corrupt police officers who’d turned a blind eye to my father’s activities, to everyone around me who had always been powerless in the face of my family.
But Rafe wasn’t corrupt and he certainly wasn’t powerless.
He could protect me and he could protect Zach.
Watching him stride through this courthouse corridor I knew that now, down to my bones.
My father started tugging me along, but I found a surge of strength from somewhere and wrenched myself out of his grip to run to Rafe and the redhead.
When I stopped in front of them, I was out of breath and my pulse was pounding in my ears with the stress of what I was going to do.
“Rafe,” I said as I blocked his path. He came to an abrupt stop and stared down at me like I was a lower form of life. But I was too desperate now to be put off by the hatred radiating from him. So I took a chance and stepped into his space, my hand going to the middle of his broad chest.
“Rafe, I—”
“I have nothing to say to you, Clarabelle,” he snapped. “I don’t want to hear any pathetic apologies or excuses.”
I shook my head. “No, I—”
He barked out a laugh. “So you’re not even going to try to apologise?
Why am I not surprised? Tell me, Clara. How long were you stalking me?
The shy little schoolteacher act – was that your father’s idea?
Fuck’s sake, you lied to my son.” His voice broke on that last word, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
“Please,” I begged, my eyes filling with tears. I had to make him understand. “I need your help, Rafe.”
My fingers on his chest curled in to grab onto his shirt. He froze for a few seconds, then disgust swept over his features.
“Let me be very clear,” he said in a low, dark voice.
“I wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire.
You’re sorely mistaken if you think for a minute I’m going to help you and your disgusting family.
” He let out a bitter laugh. “But don’t worry, you’ve managed to get me recused.
I’m sure you’ll all land on your feet. Your kind always do. ”
My kind.
He was lumping me in with my family. Of course he was.
I was a product of them, wasn’t I? I’d seen enough over the years to be complicit.
It was fear that had held me back from doing anything about their descent into violence and tyranny.
I’d known what was going on in that house when I lived there, and I didn’t say a word to anyone.
Shame washed over me as I blinked up at him.
Okay, so maybe I was one of them in a way.
But I didn’t ask to be born into that family.
And I knew Zach and I deserved a life outside of it.
So I had to take this chance, and I wasn’t above begging.
“Please, Rafe,” I whispered, my hand tightening on his shirt to fist the expensive material. “Help me, you don’t under—”
“Get the fuck off me,” he clipped, grabbing my hand in a painful grip and literally throwing it away from his body.
I stumbled back a couple of steps towards my disgusting family.
As soon as he was free of me, Rafe strode off down the corridor without even a backward glance, looking even more like the lord he was, still the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life.
Time stopped as I watched him walk away.
When I came back to myself, that redhead from before was right in front of me.
But instead of the fury that had been in Rafe’s eyes, hers held curiosity and maybe even a hint of concern.
“Clarabelle?” she said softly as she took a step towards me.
I stutter-stepped away from her and straight into what felt like a solid wall behind me.
“Watch where you’re going, Runt,” snapped Pinky before he grabbed my arm and yanked me back towards my dad.
I flinched at the pressure on the bruises already there from Dad’s previous punishing grip, and the redhead’s eyes flared.
Her mouth opened, and she took a step towards me, but before she could say anything I was dragged along behind my dad and his entourage to the waiting cars.