Chapter 18 Cristian
CRISTIAN
I lose myself in her. In the way her body yields to mine, in the soft gasps that escape her lips with each thrust.
Nothing exists beyond this bed, this moment, this woman beneath me.
Even so, I’m fully aware that I've crossed a line I swore I never would.
For years I've served the Dante family with unwavering loyalty. Now here I am, betraying Alessandro.
I’m fucking his sister.
Taking her virginity.
Taking what he sold to Maksim.
That last thought lightens the guilt of my betrayal.
Valentina is right in that she should be able to choose who she sleeps with.
She chose me.
"Cristian.” Her gray eyes are filled with trust as she watches me.
Something tightens in my chest.
Yes, being inside her feels fucking incredible, but it’s more than the physical.
It’s not just my dick involved.
It’s like with each thrust my soul becomes more tethered to hers.
It should scare the shit out of me.
Perhaps knowing this is the one and only time this will happen is why I’m still moving inside her.
Except that thought irritates me too.
She’s mine now, dammit.
Her fingers dig into my shoulders, and I worry that I’m hurting her.
“You okay?” I slow my movements even as my body screams for release.
“Yes, please… more… don’t stop.” Her lips part and her head arches back. She’s so fucking beautiful.
I kiss her neck and then lift my head to watch as I continue to move. I memorize every detail of her face in this moment.
Her flushed skin, eyes filled with desire, the trust in her expression that makes this moment so much more than just sex.
I've been with women before, but nothing like this.
Nothing that made me feel like I was both falling apart and becoming whole.
Mine. It runs like a mantra through my head, even though I can’t have her. After tonight, she’ll be Maksim’s again.
I slide my hand beneath her, tilting her hips to change the angle of our connection. Her sharp intake of breath tells me I've found what I was looking for.
“Oh, God… yes…”
I maintain the rhythm, savoring the way her body responds to mine, the way she’s given herself over to pleasure.
My control wavers as her body pulses around me.
I want to feel her come, but even with my body consumed with pleasure and my heart assaulted with feelings I’ve never felt, I realize that I’m not wearing a condom and I doubt Valentina is on the pill.
I need to maintain enough control to pull out before I come.
Valentina trembles beneath me.
Her breath quickens.
She’s on the precipice of coming again.
"Let go," I urge as I grit my teeth and prepare to keep myself in check. "I want to feel you come." I thrust in, grind against her.
“Oh!” Her body goes taut.
Her head is thrown back.
Her mouth is in that perfect O.
Her body convulses around mine, her fingers clutching desperately at my back as she cries out. “Cristian.” The sound of my name on her lips as pleasure overwhelms her nearly shatters my control.
All I want is to give her all of me.
I want to empty myself inside her, to make her mine.
But even lost in passion, I can't forget what's at stake.
My rhythm falters as my release builds.
She cries out again, surprising me.
Her legs wrap around my hips.
Her pussy clamps around my cock like a vise as she comes again.
My control snaps.
“Fuck.” The surge of release hits me like a freight train.
I empty into her as her own climax continues to pulse around me.
The sensation is so intense, it borders on pain.
My body isn’t my own as I pump and pump until I’m empty.
We collapse together, our ragged breathing filling the room.
Her body trembles beneath mine, aftershocks still rippling through her.
Contentment radiates through me.
For these precious moments, she's completely mine.
Not promised to Maksim, not a Dante princess. Just Valentina in my arms where she belongs.
But too soon, reality breaks through.
The weight of what we've done, of what I've done, bursts this lovely little bubble.
I've betrayed Alessandro's trust.
Compromised Valentina's safety.
Potentially created a life that would be our death sentence.
She shifts beneath me, her fingers tracing patterns on my back. When I finally find the courage to look at her, her face is glowing with satisfaction, lips curved into a sated smile.
"That was…" She laughs as she’s unable to find the words.
"I know.” I brush damp strands of hair from her forehead. I won't let her see my fear. Not yet. Not when she looks so beautiful, so at peace.
I ease myself from her body, rolling to my side but keeping her close. Her head settles naturally against my chest, as though she belongs there.
Every cell in my body wants to hold onto this moment forever, but I can't ignore the potential consequences of what just happened.
“I hate to ruin your moment, but we have a problem.”
She lets out an exasperated sigh. “What?”
“I didn't use protection. If you get pregnant—”
"From one time?" She lifts her head, looking at me without a concern in her expression. "I don't think that's likely."
For a moment, I’m caught up in the thought of her carrying my child.
Of a life with her and a little girl who looks just like her, has her same smile and spirit.
But I can’t let myself dream of things that can’t ever be. "That's a myth. Women can absolutely get pregnant their first time."
Valentina shrugs with that characteristic Dante confidence. "I'm supposed to start my period in a few days. I'm pretty sure I'm not fertile anymore."
I want desperately to believe her, to let this worry dissolve and enjoy our stolen night together.
But I've spent my life planning for worst-case scenarios.
It’s why I’m still breathing today.
"Let's hope to hell you're right," I say, pulling her closer. "If you got pregnant—"
"Then I'd have something of yours to keep forever.”
Her words only deepen my dread.
I understand the reality she's still too caught in the afterglow to fully comprehend.
A pregnancy would mean death for us both.
But there’s nothing that can be done about it now, so I simply hold her. But my mind is rarely at peace.
Quickly, it moves away from a potential pregnancy to why Maksim made a move on her tonight.
"Why would Maksim ambush us like that?" I murmur against her hair, more to myself than to her.
Something doesn't add up. Maksim is brutal, but he's also strategic.
Kidnapping the sister of the Don, his future bride, so brazenly?
The risk outweighs any potential reward.
Even for a man like him.
"Does he need a reason? He seems like he’s always half-cocked,” Valentina responds.
"For kidnapping you, yes. It doesn't make sense. He gets everything he wants in a few weeks. Why jeopardize that?" I just can’t wrap my brain around it, unless it’s in response to my pulling a gun on him. Maybe I’m the target.
She tenses in my arms. I pull back to look at her face, finding an expression that resembles guilt.
"Valentina," I say with growing dread, "what aren't you telling me?"
She bites her lip, then takes a deep breath. "I may have… sent a letter to Maksim."
"What letter?" Fuck, what did she do this time?
"A letter from Alessandro." She swallows hard. "Except it wasn't actually from Alessandro."
I stare at her in disbelief. "You forged a letter from your brother to Maksim? Jesus Christ, Valentina, what did it say?"
"That the wedding needed to be postponed for security reasons." Her voice sounds so small. "I thought it would give us time to figure something out."
Us.
Except there’s no us. Not really.
A man died today. Maksim's men died. And for what? A schoolgirl scheme that never had a chance of working.
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" I try to temper my anger, but I’m not sure I’m succeeding. "Maksim will think Alessandro is backing out of their deal. He’ll see it as a betrayal.”
"I'm sorry. I just wanted more time."
“Time for what?” I snap.
She stares up at me with confusion that quickly turns to pain. “You said you were going to find a way that I wouldn’t have to marry him.”
Oh, fuck. I did say that.
And I have been racking my brain to figure out a way out of this marriage without a war, but deep down, I’ve felt the effort was fruitless.
Short of killing Maksim, I don’t see a way out of it.
And now she’s made it worse. Maksim will be hypervigilant about her and the Dantes, always looking for signs that Alessandro is about to start a war.
I shake my head as I press my fingers into my eye sockets wondering how we’re going to fix this.
Valentina sits up, clutching the sheet to her chest. Her eyes flash with that familiar Dante fire. "What was I supposed to do? Wait around to be given away like property? My brothers decide who I speak to, where I go, and now who I'll marry. The one time I try to take control of my own fate—"
"You start a war." My tone comes out harsher than intended.
Her chin tilts upward defiantly. "At least I did something. Everyone else was perfectly content to hand me over to a monster. Apparently, including you. Was that a lie you told me when you said you’d help me?"
I pull my shit together.
She's barely twenty and being forced into an impossible situation with no good options.
How can I blame her for fighting back the only way she knew how?
I reach for her hand. "No, it wasn’t a lie. But it was for me to figure out, not you. I admire that you refused to just accept your fate. But there are realities to our world you have to recognize."
"You think I don't understand our world?" Her eyes are hard as they stare at me with indignation. “I understand way better than any of you. The control. The domination. The being treated as something less than because I have breasts. I know exactly what our world is."
I feel for her, I really do. But our world can’t be bent to her will. "And people who break their vows end up dead."
"So I should just accept Maksim’s plans for me until he kills me?”
The thought makes my blood run cold. I reach for her, tilting her face up to mine. "No. But we need to be smarter.” I realize I’ve used “we” as if we’re in this together when the whole point is that I need to be figuring this out on my own.
"You think I'm just a foolish child who doesn't understand consequences," she accuses, pulling away from me. "But I'm so tired of walking on eggshells, worrying about what Alessandro might think, or Adriano, or Maksim, or the entire Mafia world."
She stands, dragging the sheet with her.
Her dark hair tumbles wildly around her shoulders, and I'm struck again by how young she is to carry such heavy burdens.
"I shouldn't be reprimanded for wanting to live my own damn life," she continues. "For wanting to choose who touches me, who I give myself to."
I watch her for a moment, my chest tight in a tug-of-war of emotions.
I want to shield her from this world, yet I know I can't. I want to give her the freedom she craves, but that freedom doesn't exist for either of us.
"Valentina." I rise from the bed, not bothering to cover myself as I approach her. I take her face gently between my hands. "I agree with everything you just said. You deserve freedom. You deserve a choice."
Her eyes search mine, hopeful yet skeptical.
"But that's not the world you were born into.
" My thumbs stroke her cheekbones, hating that I can’t give her what she deserves but realizing now more than ever that neither of us can do a damn thing to change her fate.
"It's not the world I was born into either.
We can fight it. We can even win small battles.
But pretending the rules don't apply to us will only get us killed faster. "