FRAT PARTY PART TWO
Marcus’s POV
I think it’s safe to say this is easily one of the worst nights I’ve ever had.
I knew there was no way I wasn’t gonna get some sort of backlash from Qiang with Kingston suddenly showing up on campus.
I was trying to tread lightly. Not so much to avoid that backlash, but because I really didn’t know what Qiang needed most from me.
I was hoping that just stating that I was here for them would be enough for them to tell me if they needed anything from me.
I wasn’t surprised when they were ready to tell me to back off.
That beautiful morning almost a week ago went from really feeling like I had a chance to knowing I was most likely gonna have to take a back seat for a while.
It didn’t cross my mind that they’d go so far as telling me to fuck all the way off, though, and there’s no pretending how much that hurt.
It’s not like they haven’t said it before, but this time it felt like they meant it with their whole chest.
I spent a good chunk of time in the car on the way to the party thinking about things.
At what point does it become too much? Not them, not at all.
I’d happily sit on the sidelines while they figured everything out, but the question is, when does my obsession become too much for them?
At what point do they tell me to back off enough before I cross the line between ardent and just creepy?
The thoughts don’t come around to me being over Qiang by any means. I don’t think I can move on from them while they remain this close in my sphere, which, given who they are to Qi and who I am to Tristan, may very well mean I’ll never move on. But maybe it’s best that Qiang doesn’t know that.
I was never a relationship guy before Qiang came along. Maybe I need to slip back into that lifestyle to at least make Qiang feel like I’m letting this go.
But then comes the question of whether I’m the kind of guy who can sleep with someone while fully knowing I’m completely head over heels for someone else?
If all parties are on the same page, maybe.
But how long can I do that and still look at myself in the mirror?
Fucking around with no strings attached, easy.
Fucking around knowing there are strings now, regardless of how unrequited they are, I just don’t fucking know anymore.
It almost feels like the universe is working against me, though, because instead of really debating whether I want to step back into that life, or even thinking of a game if that’s where I’m headed, Imani makes her way straight to me the moment we walk in the door.
She’s absolutely gorgeous, strong, intelligent, the kind of girl anyone would be lucky to have, and having her attention on me eases the bruised ego slightly, but she wants more than just one night.
I’ve made it clear that we’re just friends, but the flirty remarks and the come-hither eyes let me know she’s hopeful for more.
But tonight, I’m not in the mood for any of it.
Even if I got it into my head to revert to my old ways, tonight would definitely not be the night to start.
I wish Qiang hadn’t waited until right before we left to drop the gauntlet, so I’d at least have had time to come up with an adequate excuse not to come.
Instead, I’m stuck here trying desperately not to look at them, and being completely incapable of doing so.
I mean, partly because they are absolutely stunning as always, but also because I don’t know how much of what they said tonight is due to me or to Kingston.
But even then, am I even allowed or in a place to question it, or just take the reasons given and slink away?
The Zeta Tau Xi house is stifling with too many bodies. Even with all the windows and doors thrown open, it’s too much. This is usually my scene. I walk into a room like this, and I’m in my element. But not tonight. I’m fucking miserable. I just want to crawl into my bed and lick my wounds.
Instead, I’ve got Imani hanging off my arm as Cade upnods me before leaning down and whispering something in Qiang’s ear that sounded very suspiciously like ‘little pixie’.
I know Cade knew Qiang well enough to think Kingston was a dick for what he’d done to them, but I didn’t know they were close enough to have pet names for each other, and I really fucking hate it.
I hate the nasty feeling that twists my gut. I hate the fact that I’m the kind of person who, despite how much I truly respect Cade, I want to detach his head from his body right now. But instead of doing anything that violent and drastic, I stand back and steadily focus on my breathing.
In and out, keeping control of myself and not stepping forward to bodily shove him away from Qiang.
As immensely satisfying as it would be to step in and claim what’s mine, it’s the exact opposite of how Qiang feels, and I would be the sorest loser in that scenario.
So I remind myself I have no right and to keep breathing in and out, focusing on how the air fills my chest with each breath.
Qiang’s hand finds its way into Cade’s, and it’s like the world tips on its axis. Something furious trembles through me. Imani says something to me; I’m not sure what it is, but when she tugs on my arm, I follow, not sure what else to do.
Waves of jealousy crash over me when Qiang’s arms wrap around Cade’s neck with a familiarity that makes me wonder if this is the first time they’ve been this close.
Arguably, it’s obviously more friendly than not, since, compared to most other couples on the dancefloor, there’s a whole fucking ocean between them.
But it doesn’t help. Qiang’s arms are solidly around Cade’s neck, and Cade has a smug as fuck smirk on his face that looks like he’s won the night.
Imani wraps herself around me and starts grinding to the beat.
I think I move along with her, not even sure because I can barely keep my eyes away from the two of them.
Qiang’s eyes meet mine briefly before they turn back to Cade and tighten their arms around his neck; a blatant statement telling me that they are where they want to be.
I hate tonight. I should have stayed home. The petulance crashing through me in waves and washing across the jealous sands of my heart’s shores.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Kingston heading towards Qiang.
Halfway there, he stops, practically plucks some girl off the floor, and brings her with him, not even seeming to care whether she wants to join him or not.
The absolute disregard in the move itself is jarring enough to make me know Qiang doesn’t need whatever game that fucker is about to play.
Kingston stops near Qiang, the guy playing some weird eye contact game with them while grinding on the girl who seems a bit too drunk to really care what’s happening. Qiang grimaces, and I pull away from Imani, wanting to insert myself between Qiang and Kingston.
I don’t know what he’s planning, and he’s done enough damage. He doesn’t have the right to randomly show up and do more. There’s a wiggle in the back of my brain that tries to remind me I don’t have a right to insert myself at all, but fuck that voice. Qiang can yell at me later.
That’s the rationale, the reasoning for stepping forward.
But then I notice Cade’s eyes are on the indecently dancing pair as well.
I slow down, thinking maybe he’ll handle it without me making an ass of myself.
However, when he grinds his body against Qiang’s, my entire body stills; an entire ocean of anger, jealousy, and rejection crashes into me and pulls me under so deep that it hurts to breathe.
Qiang’s face shifts from a confusing medley of frustration, anger, and resentment to one of consideration and resolve.
My heart seizes in my chest, somehow knowing what’s about to happen before it does.
Maybe it’s the way Qiang’s body tilts slightly forward, rocking just enough to shift their weight forward and up, or the way their eyes meet Cade’s with determination; either way, I see the liplock before it happens.
It’s like the screech of tires before a collision, followed by the imminent shrill of metal folding in on itself and the tinkling of a thousand shards of glass shattering.
My heart, my body, my brain, just fucking break into pieces, right there in the middle of the dancefloor.
I can feel a slight tug on my hand, but for the life of me, I can’t register what it is.
Qiang had said they hadn’t kissed anyone since Kingston, and while a huge part of me knows that kiss was meant more as a fuck you to Kingston than anything to do with Cade or me, it doesn’t stop the rage in my heart.
That kiss was supposed to be mine.
Yeah, they told me to take a fucking hike earlier, and I get that, but it hadn’t registered that it meant Qiang would be giving my kisses away to someone else in the same night.
I can’t move, can hardly think. Everything is crashing through my head with a visceral rage that wants to tear this entire house down to the foundation. I want to reach my hands out and wrap them around Kingston’s throat because it’s his fucking fault.
If he’d just stayed the fuck away, Qiang and I would have been fine.
And yeah, I get that Kingston showing up being all it took to derail Qiang like it has means that there’s a whole lot of room for healing that Qiang needs, but we could have worked on that without that asshole showing his fucking face here.
And there are a million other spirals of thought weaving in and making my head spin.
Like if Qiang had been dancing with me, they probably would have had the wherewithal not to kiss me like they just did Cade, or the fact that I don’t know if Cade realizes that the kiss was a knee-jerk trauma response and not real.
I don’t even notice that I’m being led from the scene while I watch Cade whisper something to Qiang and lead them towards the stairs, most likely to his room.