Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
Between her club back home and Rawhide, she’d been involved in the BDSM scene in some capacity for nearly six years. And not once, in all that time, had anyone ever asked her so pointedly why she didn’t have any limits.
Maybe if they had, she wouldn’t have been left staring at her sexy new guardian as he studied her with those clear eyes that saw far too much for her comfort.
“Why do I need a reason?”
“There’s a reason for everything, Eliza. Whether we realize it consciously or not, everything we do can be traced back to something in our psyche that makes us behave that way.”
“Are you the new math teacher or the new psychology teacher?”
She was being snarky and she knew it, but he was asking her to think about something she didn’t particularly want to dig into. Especially with him.
Judging by the way his mouth kicked up in a smirk, he knew exactly how she was feeling about his question. “Math requires an understanding of patterns and connections. So does, to an extent, human behavior. Though humans are woefully more complex than numbers, I’m afraid. Still, there are patterns and reasons for everything. I want to know yours.”
“There’s no pattern. I’m just not afraid of anything.”
His smirk gave way to a slight frown. “Limits aren’t about fear. Or, not always about fear, I should say. Sometimes it’s just about knowing what will take too great of a toll, whether it’s physically or psychologically.”
“Oh.” She’d never really thought about it that way. But still. She could, and would, take whatever anyone could dish out. “Well, I don’t have an answer for you. I’ve just never found anything that really made me stop and say ‘No, absolutely not’.”
“And yet, you balked at the very idea of me calling myself ‘Daddy’. We hadn’t even discussed ageplay at that point and you safeworded out of your punishment so you could talk to Derek about our arrangement.”
“I did not safeword out of anything. You were the one who stopped. I never actually said Red.”
“Fair enough.” Crossing his arms on the table, he leaned in, his gaze seeing her far too clearly for her own comfort. “And what if I hadn’t stopped?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I’d continued spanking you, if I’d told you that you were going to be my Little whether you liked it or not, if I’d told you I planned to keep you in diapers and onesies every day for the rest of our time together, what would you have done? Would you have called your safe word then?”
“No.” But even just hearing him talk about it had her heart threatening to beat out of her chest. “I wouldn’t have been happy about it, but that’s not the same thing as having a hard limit or needing a safe word. ”
“It’s not, no. And do you think being this stubborn will serve you well in the long run?”
“I’m not stubborn.” Okay, that was a lie. And judging by the way his eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth tilted up in clear amusement, he was well aware she was being less than truthful.
“All right.” Leaning back, he picked up his menu and dropped his gaze again. “We can pick up this discussion again later, when you’re feeling a bit more comfortable talking to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There are plenty of things for us to talk about, especially around your limits. But for now, I’m more curious about the lasagna. Have you had it?”
Well, if he was fine changing the subject, she certainly wasn’t going to insist they continue their conversation. She was perfectly content letting it drop and never revisiting this topic again. “I have and it’s delicious. Honestly, there’s nothing here that isn’t fucking amazing.”
“Language, Eliza. That’s another ten.”
“Seriously? I can’t even cuss now?”
“No. My Little girl does not use such naughty language.”
“That’s not fair!”
“It’s entirely fair. I’m your guardian, so I make the rules.”
Once again she was tempted to march herself out to Master Derek’s office to tell him she was out. Done. Bye bye, birdie.
But she really wanted to finish school, and Rawhide University was the only place she could find the kind of structure she needed. She’d failed out of college twice already, and even though she was still struggling with her classes here at the Ranch, she’d already completed two whole years of courses here. Which was two years more than she’d managed anywhere else.
And there were all those little reminders of her friends, waiting to be unpacked in her new “home”. If she left, would she ever see Kylie again? Would she get another chance to make her laugh or to tease her about her just-a-friendship with Dan?
The thought of never seeing them again far outweighed being treated like a child.
“Fine. I’ll try to curb the swearing, but I don’t make any promises.”
“That’s perfectly all right. I know how to clean out a naughty girl’s mouth if necessary.”
Which probably meant soap. Great.
Their waitress came and took their orders, leaving Eliza with nothing to do but try and avoid her guardian’s all-too-seeing gaze as he studied her from across the table.
“So, Eliza. Tell me about your parents.”
“More therapy?” she muttered, crossing her arms and deliberately looking off to the side so she wouldn’t have to look at him.
“I prefer to think of it as getting to know each other. And I happened to know a Professor Michael Bennett years ago. I was wondering if there might be any relation.”
Of course he knew her father. Probably her mother, as well. A knot formed in her stomach, and she had to swallow hard several times before she could get the words out. “He’s my father.”
“Ah. A rather brilliant man if I remember correctly. And his wife… Lydia, I think her name was? When I met them, she was working on her PhD, I believe.”
“Yup. Literature, specifically focusing on Jane Austen. Hence my name, Eliza Bennett. Legally I’m Elizabeth, but I refused to answer to anything other than Eliza in the second grade, much to my mother’s dismay.” Eliza rolled her eyes. “I’m not actually convinced she didn’t marry my father just to take his last name.”
“I imagine it was difficult, growing up in their shadows.”
There was no judgment in his tone, and it helped to loosen the knot in her stomach a bit. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“How would you put it?”
Fuck it. If she was stuck with him, she might as well let him know what he had to work with. Maybe he’d realize what her parents had years ago: That she was a lost fucking cause.
She shifted her gaze back to his stupidly handsome face, locking her eyes with his. “I would say it was a nightmare. My parents are two of the greatest minds of the century in their respective fields. They assumed, incorrectly, that their DNA combined would create a genius that surpassed even their own. Instead they got me, a loud, obnoxious troublemaker who barely graduated high school by the skin of her teeth and can’t keep a job to save her life.”
“That does sound a bit like a nightmare, for you. Parental expectations can be… suffocating.”
“Right.” Snorting out a disbelieving laugh, she turned her head away again, mostly so he wouldn’t see the tears pooling on her lashes. “Like you’d know anything about it.”
“As it happens, I do. But that’s a conversation for another time. And we don’t have to talk about your parents anymore if you don’t want to.”
“I would literally rather talk about anything else. Except my hard limits list,” she added when his lips twitched with clear amusement.
“Then let’s talk about the Ranch. I’m new here, and still getting to know my way around. What should I know?”
Finally, a topic she actually enjoyed. “Well, for starters, you should know that Master Derek’s wife, Sadie, is the prank queen of Rawhide. Though Wren has been giving her a run for her money here lately, and when Piper comes to visit with her Mommy and Daddy, all bets are off.”
“That sounds… ominous.”
“Nah, it’s mostly good fun. Well, most of us think it’s good fun. The bossy types don’t always seem to agree. But between you and me, I think they all enjoy being in trouble so it’s pretty much a win-win for everyone involved.” She paused, tilting her head to the side as memories played over in her mind. “Except Chef Connor. Somehow he always ends up in the middle of their pranks and it’s pretty fifty-fifty on whether or not he’s going to be a good sport about it. The odds are more in your favor if you can get his wife, Hayleigh, involved. He’ll still light you up with his spoon, but if Hayleigh is part of the prank, he doesn’t stay mad nearly as long.”
“How often do you get involved in these pranks?”
“Not a lot. Mostly they keep it all between the Littles.” Inspiration dawned and she grinned. “Of course, if you’re wanting me to act like a Little, then I suppose I’ll have to talk to Sadie about making sure I’m included going forward.”
“As long as you’re prepared to accept the consequences,” he shot back with an easy shrug.
Need pulsed between her thighs. Like Sadie and her ilk, being in trouble just did something to Eliza. While she enjoyed a good spanking for spanking’s sake just as much as the next masochist, she loved being in trouble. Loved the pit in her stomach when she realized she was about to be spanked, loved the strict words and stern looks that always came with any punishment. “What kind of consequences?”
“I suppose it depends on the prank. Care to give me some examples? ”
“Ah…” She shifted through her memories of the past two years at the Ranch. “Well there was that epic Prank Day where they all pulled different pranks at the same time. Hayleigh hid all of her Daddy’s wooden spoons, Piper covered her Mommy’s office with toilet paper. Oh and Heaven Leigh replaced a few things in Master Derek’s office with cake.”
“Cake?”
“Yeah, you know. Like those uber-realistic cakes? I think she got his phone, so when he tried to call everyone to warn them about the pranks, he just picked up a handful of cake instead of his phone.”
To her surprise, Samuel laughed. And not just a little chuckle. No, this was a head-thrown-back, from the belly kind of laugh.
It was a really great laugh. Which was probably why her tummy felt so funny.
“I’ll be honest, Eliza. I’m not sure I’d be able to stop laughing long enough to spank you for any pranks involving cake. Hiding implements, however…” He pinned her with a stern look, but it was undermined somewhat by the laughter still dancing in his eyes. “Once you retrieved them all, we would be spending a fair amount of time over the next few days reacquainting your bottom with each and every item.”
“What if I hid them and replaced them all with cake? Wouldn’t that create like, a punishment paradox or something?”
“You’re welcome to test that hypothesis as you wish, little one.”
She blinked at his response, and before she could smother it, a laugh burst free. “Was that a very academic way of telling me to ‘fuck around and find out’?”
“It was.” Now his expression did turn a bit stern for real. “I’m letting that naughty word slide with a warning since it’s part of a well-known expression. But I do not give many warnings, Eliza.”
“Noted.” Having to watch her language was going to suck, but surely she could keep it under wraps when he was around. She’d just save up all her f-bombs for when she was hanging out with her friends.
That thought reminded her of what he’d told Kylie as they’d been packing up her dorm. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything, little one.”
Dammit. The way he called her “little one” in that tone, like he actually meant it as a term of endearment was starting to get to her. “Do I really have to ask your permission to have friends over?”
“Yes. You’ll also be expected to stick to a schedule, which we will set up this week. Any deviances from that schedule will need to be approved by me unless it’s an emergency.”
“This sucks.”
“I’m sure it does. And I’m aware there will be an adjustment period. But can you really look me in the eye and tell me that you aren’t in desperate need of more structure and discipline, Eliza?”
“Maybe not desperate need,” she mumbled.
“Fair enough. But at the end of the day what matters is that Master Derek has decided you’re in need of a firmer hand than he’s been able to provide for you. So that’s exactly what I’m going to give you, until you can prove you no longer need me to be so strict.”
“How do I prove that?”
“By following the rules. And by being honest with me about what you want and need. Which also means being honest with me, and yourself, about what your limits really are.”
This again? The man was like a dog with a bone. “I am being honest!”
“No, you aren’t. But we’re going to work on that together. And hopefully someday soon you’ll trust me enough to be completely honest with me. Until then, you’ll be following the same rules I would have for any other Little under my care.”
Crossing her arms again, she slid down in her seat. “Great.”
This couldn’t possibly get any worse.