Chapter 5 An Investment in Family
An Investment in Family
With the decision to move finalized, Miles was surprised and relieved at how quickly it came together. They hadn't been able to find a new place to buy, but decided that renting for a bit opened up far more possibilities.
"God, are rental prices in this city really this ridiculous, or is it just because we're looking at three bedrooms?" Sitting cross-legged on the couch, Miles pulled up another listing and immediately winced.
Lounging against the other side, Darren grinned at him over his tablet. He'd put one foot in Miles's lap behind the laptop and rubbed his knee with the side of it. "It's enough to make your butthole pucker, isn't it?"
"Not in a good way, either." He frowned over a floor plan. "This one's only thirty-five hundred, but it's one floor of a duplex, and all the bedrooms are clustered at the back. Not ideal but maybe for the price..?"
"Let me see?" Darren sat up as he turned the laptop around, reaching out to page through listing photos. "Oh god, no. That kitchen's tiny."
"It's not that bad," Miles leaned along the back of the couch to look with him. "I can make it work."
"I'm getting you a nice kitchen. We have money, Miles. We can afford better."
"Yeah, but renting feels like pissing it away. I can bring in one of those butcher-block islands for extra prep room. And the location's good."
"The location's fine, but I'm sure we can find better."
"What if we can't? I don't need a big kitchen, Dare."
Darren stroked his shoulder affectionately. "Yes, but I do. I've gotten entirely spoiled by having this amazing personal chef, you see. I couldn't bear to cramp his style." His eyes sparkled merrily.
Miles gave a huffed laugh. "I guess we can keep looking. I should still bookmark this.
"Don't bother, the bedrooms are tiny, too, see? Even the master, and there's no walk-in. We can't exactly store the Saint Andrew's cross in one of the kids' bedrooms instead of the closet when they're not here."
"I suppose," Miles relented, closing the listing. He took the laptop back, closing it with a sigh.
"Hey." Darren moved closer, resting his arm along his shoulders. "We'll find the right place. And then we'll buy a better place. Don't worry, okay?"
"I just feel bad for making you sell this place. It's a nice apartment."
"It is, but it's what's inside it that's important to me." He traced the ridge of one trap up his neck. "You're not making me sell this place. We're investing in our family. Together."
Miles sighed, leaning into him. "Thank you," he said softly. "Sorry that I came with so much baggage."
"So much." Darren rolled his eyes, tightening his arm around him and nuzzling his hair.
"Just because I never wanted kids on my own doesn't mean I'm not ecstatic to have them now.
I love them, Miles. You've given me the kind of family I always dreamed about growing up.
It's been wonderful. It's been healing, honestly.
Please don't ever doubt that I want this. "
Miles relaxed and cuddled into him, turning his face up for a kiss. "Really?"
"Of course. Your kids get two understanding queer dads instead of one bigoted asshole?" He grinned crookedly, probably to cover for what Miles knew was the dull ache of remembered pain. "Feels like a nice fuck you to my old man."
"Well, if that's the case, then you're welcome." Miles stole another kiss with a smile, letting himself relax more into the joking. "... just gonna feel weird with so much more empty space when they're not here."
"Wanna see if your ex will let us take them more?" Darren ran his fingers up the back of his neck and through his hair. "Hell, she might want us to when she has the baby. They might want us to."
Miles snorted. "Yeah, no kidding. Still feels weird."
"Yeah?" Darren continued his slow caress. "You wanna talk about it?"
Blowing out a long breath, Miles considered it. "I don't know. I mean, of course, it seems fast, but I'm not really one to talk. I hired a U-Haul faster than a lesbian stereotype the moment you crooked your little finger at me."
Darren chuckled. "Because you're a good boy." He kissed his temple. "She was a big part of your life for a long time, in good ways and bad. She still is."
"I should be happy she's moving on, though. I'm not unhappy. It's just weird. She always said she was done at two... but clearly that was just two with me. And it's hard not to worry about whether she and Brent will last, and... I don't know."
"It's normal to see things through the lens of your own experience," Darren replied, unfailingly logical. "But what do you know?"
Miles chewed his bottom lip. "She loves the kids.
She does her best to be a good mom," he admitted.
"She likes my sister. She resents me less now that I'm openly queer.
" It still felt weird to lean into her assumption that it had been the reason for their marital difficulties, though he'd been able to justify it in his own mind a bit more.
He'd always known deep down that he wasn't like the guys around him.
It just turned out to be less about not liking women and more about having buttons that needed certain skills and a lot of romance to press.
Fortunately, Darren was an expert at all of the above.
"Yeah," Darren agreed, smiling. "We're in a good place with her. And we'll be in an even better place when we have a new place."
"You're right," Miles agreed, relaxing more. "Thank you."
"It's my pleasure." Darren drew his chin up for a longer kiss. "Let's add two more places to the list. Then we can call it a night, and you can thank me in bed?"
"I like the sound of that."
"You might like the sound of this more." He grabbed the tablet, handing it over. "Ignore how skinny it is. Three bedrooms, none of which adjoin."
"Jesus, that's expensive."
"It's still in our price range. And there's a soaker tub off the master." Darren waggled his eyebrows, making him laugh.
Miles chuckled, shaking his head. "Alright. Add it to the list. I'd be a terrible pet to keep my Master from such luxury."
"That's my good boy," Darren purred, words full of promise of things to come.
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Unsurprisingly, they ended up renting the skinny townhouse with the soaker tub.
They even managed to negotiate the price down by five hundred dollars a month.
Miles quietly suspected that Darren's employer might be behind it, somehow.
The man was also Darren's only long-term professional devotee and took advantage of any opportunity Darren allowed to show his devotion.
He'd long ago given up worrying about it.
Shimizu had helped them get his children back.
Miles was willing to allow him any indulgence.
His conversation with Darren about learning to command wasn't far from Miles's mind as they began to pack up the apartment.
It was incredibly distracting. Part of that was the delightful memories of what had come after the conversation; more of it was an unexpected mix of nervousness and excitement he still felt now.
He hadn't ever considered wanting someone other than Darren, and if someone had asked him about an open relationship or swinging, he would have laughed in their faces.
But this was different. Darren's intentions and desires for him were so clear.
This was something new for them to explore and experience together, just like all the other wonderful things Darren had introduced him to.
He couldn't imagine loving anyone like he loved Darren, but this wasn't about love. Learning to take care of a sub - or two - would be a different kind of care. Imagining it filled him with a quiet, confident warmth that he very much wanted more of.
But they didn't need to rush. Surely the more time he had to prepare, the better things would be. Even if Darren was certain that he was ready, he didn't want to take that for granted or prove to need so much of his attention that Darren couldn't enjoy the process, too.
Was he really capable of it? Trusting Darren was one thing, but actually feeling it was another.
It was impossible not to feel nervous that he couldn't have a practice run.
It wasn't that Darren couldn't find someone to practice on, of course.
They knew plenty of people in the scene that Miles was sure would jump at the chance to be Darren's sub for an evening, even if it were for training purposes.
He'd certainly received enough open invitations in the past. But practicing wouldn't feel the same as being responsible for truly guiding and caring for someone in a state of complete vulnerability.
Still, perhaps it was a good place to start.
He only wished he had the opportunity to practice on Darren.
His husband was always happy to switch roles, of course, and reveled in his submission when Miles ordered him around.
But it was just playing a role for them both.
Darren was a master of his craft. He didn't need Miles to lead him in anything.
Even as he considered the situation, something tugged at the back of his mind. Returning home to the apartment and half-packed kitchen, Miles pondered the recipe stuck to the fridge that he'd intended to cook for dinner with a sudden thrill of insight.
Maybe there was still someplace where he could lead and mentor Darren.
He wouldn't have considered it previously, but.
.. Darren wanted him to learn. And he had faith that Darren wouldn't be displeased by the idea.
Nervous, perhaps, but it would be Miles's job to take care of him and give Darren what he needed.
Pulling a frozen package of hamburger meat out of the freezer, Miles left it in the kitchen sink in cool water to slowly thaw. Then he checked the maps app on his phone on the way back out the door.
If he hurried, he'd have just enough time to get what he needed.
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