Chapter 3
Holt
“Ineed two monkeys to be sitting at the table in one minute!”
The giggles that follow make me grin. I put the finishing touches on dinner as a herd of elephants comes stomping down the stairs.
“Ooh-ooh. Aah-aah.”
“Ooh-ooh. Aah-Aah.”
Lauren and Leah tear through the kitchen with their arms swinging around like monkeys as they screech. I bark out a laugh at their silly antics.
At six and seven, my girls have blossomed into their witty personalities. Lauren’s the typical oldest child. She loves to be the mother hen, taking care of anything that needs a little extra love—me included.
Leah is my wild child. She’s got a creative soul full of compassion and conviction.
She defends her sister with a fire my in-laws say I should try to tame, but I just can’t do it.
I never want her to think she’s too much.
I won’t ever make her feel like she has to change who she is for the sake of someone else.
“Grab something to drink. Dinner is ready,” I tell the girls. I fill their plates with pasta and set them in front of their places at the table, then I get a plate made for myself before I join them.
“Dad, Gramma said we need to take our Christmas decorations down. She said it’s tacky to have them up past New Year’s,” Lauren says.
I bite the inside of my lip to keep from saying something sarcastic in response. My in-laws mean well, and they’ve been incredible since Hannah died three years ago, but sometimes I wish they’d take a gigantic step back from our lives.
I needed them more than I could ever express right after Hannah’s car accident.
I was a mess and barely had it in me to open my eyes.
Now, we’ve settled into a solid routine and have slowly figured out how to live without our fourth person.
It hasn’t been easy, but we’re in a much better place than we were.
I think Kathy is struggling with not being needed as much, but instead of asking to spend extra time with the girls, she’s taken to making snide comments about our life.
Lauren continues, “I told her we like having the Christmas lights up because Mommy loved them. She stopped talking about it after that.”
I reach over to run a hand down Lauren’s soft brown hair. “Mommy did love Christmas lights. How about we leave them up until the end of the month, and then we can decorate for Valentine’s Day?”
Lauren’s eyes light up. “Yes!”
“I love Balentime’s Day.” Leah grins, sticking her tongue through the small hole where her bottom tooth should be.
“Me too, baby girl.”
The girls tell me about their day with Kathy and Leonard.
Today was the first day of the annual Ice Festival.
I normally go with them, but a snowstorm is blowing through tonight, so I was out helping the road crew prepare.
Our small Colorado town is used to snow, but we don’t always have the manpower to prepare for it.
Finding volunteers is easier than calling people in from the city.
I try to stay present with the girls, but my thoughts begin to drift back to my rainbow girl. It’s been seven months since our night together, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.
At first, I thought it was because she’s the first woman I’ve slept with since my wife died, but then, as time went on, I realized it’s just her.
There was something about her that lit me up inside.
She was funny and whip-smart and sexy as hell.
In between fucking like rabbits, she made me laugh harder than I have in a long time.
But there was also something vulnerable about her that I recognized instantly.
She tried to put on a mask of indifference, but I could see that it wasn’t quite fitting that night.
When I made it clear I didn’t want anything from her, that mask slipped off until all that was left was a woman who just needed someone to see her as she was for a change.
I understood exactly how she felt. Since Hannah died, I’ve worn a similar mask. I hate being the town’s pitiful widower, so I wear a mask of strength to show everyone that I’m doing fine. That I can handle everything without falling to pieces.
When she looked at me without her mask on, I felt like I could finally take mine off too.
She had no idea that I’d tragically lost my wife.
Instead, she saw me as a man she was interested in, and I liked that feeling.
I wanted more of that feeling, so I said yes to her offer.
I hadn’t expected her to sneak out before the sun came up.
That was a blow to my ego, to say the least, but not for a single moment did I regret spending the night with her.
My best friends, Knox, Grayson, and Emmett, gave me hell over her sneaking out, but they were also a sounding board when I was struggling with the fact that I wasn’t falling apart.
I thought having sex with a woman who wasn’t my wife was going to be harder, but Rainbow didn’t give me a chance to think about anything other than her.
The next day, I wondered if Hannah would approve of my choice.
Would she be pissed that the first woman I slept with was a one-night stand?
Should I have waited until I was dating the woman?
But as those questions were rolling around in my head, it was as if she was whispering in my ear, saying she was proud of me for taking that step toward moving on.
We’d always told each other that if something were to happen to either of us, we’d want the other to move on with someone else.
She used to tell me that I had a heart made to love, and it would be a waste if I didn’t use it.
I’m not in love with my rainbow girl, but I do wish I could’ve spent more time with her.
“I almost frozed my tongue on a snow cone. It was so funny.” Leah giggles, bringing me back into the moment.
“My tongue got purple,” Lauren adds.
“Mine was blue. What if it stayed that way?” Leah sticks her tongue out to see if there’s any blue left. Her eyes go crossed as she tries to look down. Lauren cracks up, which makes me and Leah start laughing too.
My phone rings with the emergency ringtone I set. I grab it from the counter before it can roll over to voicemail. “Hello?”
“Hey, Holt,” our fire chief, Greg, responds. “Sorry to bother you during dinner, but we got a call about a stranded motorist out by your house. Think you could pick them up and bring them into town? Our guys are tied up with a fender bender right now.”
“That’s no problem. I’ll bring the girls with me. Are the roads that bad?”
“Just a bit of black ice, it sounds like, although the storm’s gettin’ worse by the minute, so you might hurry.”
“We’ll head out now.”
“Be careful.”
I hang up after the chief gives me details about the car, and then tell the girls the plan.
They squeal in excitement as they race to the mud room to bundle in their warm clothes.
This isn’t the first time we’ve had to rescue someone from the side of the road.
I have no idea why they love going with me, but I’m grateful it’s not a fight to get them ready.
We pile into my truck, the girls tucked into the back seat with a couple of blankets. Big, fat flakes of snow are falling, making it look like we’re hurtling through space as I drive. It doesn’t take us but a few minutes to find a little white car off in the ditch.
I pull off the road and park as close as I can. “Stay here, girls. I’ll be right back.” With careful steps, I make my way down into the ditch until I get close to the car.
The driver shrieks when I knock on the window. They roll it down a crack. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”
My stomach drops at the sound of her voice. “Rainbow?”