Chapter 11
Gia
“What the hell do you wear to a lunch date?” I mutter to myself as I dig through my suitcase. I packed way more than was necessary, since I had no idea how long I would be staying, but it’s created an overwhelming amount of options to choose from.
My room at Buckleberry Inn is a disaster. There are clothes strewn all over the place, unpaired shoes line the wall, and my electronics are scattered across every available surface.
When I checked in yesterday, my stuff exploded haphazardly everywhere.
I couldn’t find anything that I needed because I didn’t pack with a single thought of organization at Holt’s house.
I couldn’t risk taking my time. Otherwise, I’d have come up with too many reasons why I should stay with Holt and the girls.
It was for the best. I can’t stay with Holt while I try to decide if dating him is a good idea. He’d overwhelm me far beyond what I could handle, and I wouldn’t have a single logical thought while under the same roof.
No, this is better.
Although I hadn’t factored in how hard it would be to say goodbye to the girls. They didn’t want me to leave any more than I did. Their little faces when we pulled up to the Inn were devastating.
Thinking about it now still makes me sad.
I snatch my phone from the bed to distract myself. I have thirty minutes before I’m supposed to meet Holt for lunch. We figured this was the best way to discuss our next steps without needing someone to watch Lauren and Leah.
Having mind-blowing sex forced me to acknowledge that something is brewing between us, no matter what I try to tell myself, but there are too many obstacles to throw caution to the wind.
I’m not normally a think-before-I-act type of girl, so this feels a little odd.
I have yet to explore what it is about Holt that makes me act out of character—most likely self-preservation.
If I look too deeply, I could find emotions I’m not ready to face when it comes to this guy.
It’s better for everyone involved if I do my best to shove those feelings aside.
I search for outfit inspiration on social media and land on a cropped sweater and jeans. It’s comfortable and not too warm. I’d rather not be sweating uncomfortably in the restaurant.
Realizing I’ve spent way too much time sitting on my bed in my underwear, I rush through getting dressed and head out the door.
Buckleberry Inn is an easy walk to just about everywhere in Pine Creek Falls. Thankfully, my rental car wasn’t damaged after the ice incident, but I’m terrified to drive on the roads now. They’ve been cleaned off at this point, but given how I arrived in town, I don’t trust myself anymore.
I hate being the damsel in distress, so I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid it, even if that means walking in freezing cold weather.
I’ll have to get over my issues by tomorrow though. I found an Airbnb on the edge of town that was more affordable long-term than the Inn. Unfortunately, that means driving everywhere.
One street over from the Daily Grind is a cute little restaurant called Marcie’s. It leans a little heavier into a café-style building but has a full menu for lunch and dinner. I haven’t been yet, but Gwen told me about it at the Grind the other day.
A little chime jingles as I walk through the door. The hostess is an older woman who smiles warmly when I get up to the stand. “How can I help you, hun?”
“I’m actually looking for…” I glance around the adorably pink room with an eclectic mix of art on the walls and find Holt waving at me. “That guy right there. Thank you.”
“Good for you, honey. I’d let that man eat whatever he wanted in my bed.”
A blush fills my cheeks when she winks at me. I’m not sure why her words embarrass me, but now I’m flustered. Maybe because the man knows exactly what to eat in bed…and how.
Holt stands when I get close to the table and leans in to kiss me on the cheek. When he pulls back, he rubs his thumb across the same spot. “What did Marcie say to make you blush like that?”
“She was just teasing me.” I sit down to keep from making eye contact.
He sits across from me, a small smile tilting his mouth. “My secretary looked at me like I was crazy when I told her I had lunch plans. I usually eat at my desk, much to Beverly’s frustration. I thought she’d be happy for me, but she looked at me like I was about to go rob a bank.”
I snort. “She was probably pissed that you made plans without telling her first.”
“Oh, one hundred percent. She hates feeling like she’s out of the loop.
There’s a group of women who hang out at the Grind on Sundays, gossiping as if they get paid to do it.
Bev takes great pride in knowing the gossip before the rest of the crochet club, as they’ve dubbed themselves.
They do more conspiring than actual crafts. ”
“I love that so much. We have something similar back home, but we just call them what they are, gossiping hens.”
“If you really want to get a bead on the town, you need to follow the Pine Creek Falls News page online. It’s less news and more updates on what everyone in town is up to. You and your friends were featured over the summer.”
“It’s not like…mean to people, is it?”
Holt shakes his head. “Nah. Most of the time, it’s general happenings that people might be interested in.
They’ll post about food drives or fundraisers for families in need.
Interspersed is a bit of gossip spreading around town.
One of my best friends, Knox, was on there after he brought home Finn.
” Holt’s grin is full of amusement. “They put a warning on the post that said, ‘Congratulate him at your own risk.’”
“Aw, poor Knox.”
“He was actually grateful for the post. People kept their distance, which is what he prefers, the prickly bastard.”
I crack up at that.
Marcie comes over, her smile wide. “Sorry for the wait, darlings. We are just so busy today.”
I frown at the half-filled tables in the room. It doesn’t seem that busy, but maybe she’s missing one of her regular servers. I’m not going to complain. It means Holt and I might get a decent amount of uninterrupted time to talk.
Holt and I order drinks and take a minute to scan the menu.
They have cutesy names for their dishes that always feel like I’m chewing nails when I have to say them.
They’re clever, I’ll give them that, but there’s no chance in hell I’ll be ordering the Purple People Eater.
It’s technically just eggplant parmesan, but I’m not taking any chances they’ll make me say it.
Although the one I want is called In Da Club, so it’s not a whole lot better.
“Y’all know what you want?” Marcie asks when she comes over with our drinks.
Holt asks for a burger and Beverly’s normal lunch order to go. Since he didn’t use the silly name, I feel way more comfortable asking for the club sandwich.
“Oh, shit.” Holt scrunches his face as if he’s in pain.
“What?”
“It just hit me that Marcie is also in the crochet club. I’m going to owe Beverly coffee for like a month.”
“Ooh. You’re gonna be in trouble.”
Holt narrows his eyes at me. “Don’t think I won’t turn you over my knee and spank that delicious ass of yours.”
A shiver slides down my spine. I raise my eyebrow, trying to cover my reaction to this stupidly potent man. “See what happens if you do.”
“I know exactly what would happen, Rainbow. And it’s not something I can say in public.”
Fuck, the look in Holt’s eyes is melting my insides like a bar of chocolate on a hot day.
“Here you go.” Marcie’s interruption startles me. Our food came out stupidly fast. “Y’all need anything else?”
“This is perfect. Thanks, Marcie.” Holt smiles at her, acting as if he’s not turned the hell on like I am.
“We still need to actually talk about what this is”—I wiggle a finger between the two of us—“before we jump back into bed together.”
“I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. It’s just…
” Holt starts to fidget with one of his fries.
“I forgot what it’s like to feel like a man—just a man.
I’ve been holding onto the grieving widower label for so long that I stopped thinking of myself as anything else.
Even being a dad came in second place to the grief.
Then this colorful woman threatened to throat punch me, and I suddenly remembered that I’m allowed to have more than one label. ”
I can’t imagine how heavy a burden it must be to carry the weight of not only your own grief but that of your kids and family as well.
I wouldn’t be surprised if people expect those who are grieving to do it in certain ways they think are acceptable.
Add in a town that’s up in your businesses, and Holt’s probably been struggling with the expectations of everyone for a long time.
“After our first night together, I started to truly think about my life and what I wanted my future to look like. I don’t want to hold myself back because I’m afraid of what might happen.
I learned the hard way that life can change on a dime, and hiding away from experiencing everything the world has to offer just because something bad can happen would only lead to a sad, lonely life.
I don’t want my girls to live like that, so why would I? ”
He shakes his head. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I want to explore whatever this connection is between us.
I have no idea where it will lead, and I’m honestly not even sure I’m ready for it to lead somewhere serious, but I don’t want to ignore what’s going on because I’m terrified of the unknowns. ”
I breathe out a long breath. “Gotta be honest, I am so not used to a man just laying out his emotions the way you did. It’s refreshing, don’t get me wrong, but I thought it would take a little more coaxing to get you to open up like that.”
“A ten-year age difference and a tragedy make a big difference between me and the guys you’re used to dating.”
I smirk. “Too true. Okay, here’s my list of issues.
I’m only going to be here for a few more weeks at most. My job for the mayor likely won’t take that long, and I definitely can’t afford to stay longer.
I’ve also never gone out with someone long enough to say I’m dating them, so I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to having any type of relationship.
What I do know is you’re different from any other man I’ve been interested in, and that scares the shit out of me. ”
“To be frank, I’m not the kind of guy who can do a friends-with-benefits situation without the lines blurring. I’ll probably catch feelings if we keep this up, but then we have to contend with the fact that you’ll be leaving soon.”
“And while I usually am good at the no-strings-attached thing, I couldn’t do that with you. We’ve already crossed all the normal barriers I use to stay detached.”
We sit in silence, contemplating our shitty situation. “Are we making this more complicated than it is?” I finally ask.
Holt shrugs. “Maybe. But heartbreak sucks, and I’d rather not experience it if I don’t have to.”
“Same.”
“So do we just try to be friends?”
I bark out a laugh. “That’s not likely. There’s no way I could keep my distance if we’re ever alone.”
“I couldn’t either. So we either never see each other again or we do this and see what happens, knowing you’ll be leaving in a few weeks.”
“Who knows? Maybe we’ll find that we’re not compatible outside of sex.”
Holt gives me a disbelieving look. “Sure, maybe.”