Chapter 28
Bones graspedthe back of my head and pulled me close for another drugging kiss. He released me and then gently eased out of my body.
I hissed in discomfort.
“Damn, I did hurt you,” he said, sympathy splashed across his face.
“Don’t feel bad about it. It was going to happen regardless.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I haven’t had sex in three years.”
“Jesus, Duchess.” Bones closed his eyes for a brief moment. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’d already told you enough. And I didn’t need to stack all the reasons about why I was nervous to sleep with you and talk myself out of it.”
“I could’ve been gentler?—”
“You were plenty gentle,” I interrupted. “Please, Bones. Don’t feel bad about this. It was…incredible. Really.”
“We’re just getting started.” He kissed the tip of my nose and then rolled away from me to dispose of the condom. He padded naked to the bathroom, giving me a glorious view of his backside.
I looked around for something to cover myself with and then realized a femme fatale wouldn’t be shy. Not now, especially. So I got out of bed and stalked toward him. I placed my hand on his chest, stood on my toes and tilted my head back to receive his kiss.
“Give me five minutes and then join me in the shower,” I commanded.
He smacked my ass as I sauntered away from him. I looked at him over my shoulder. “No one’s ever done that before.”
“How do you feel about it?” Bones asked with a devastating smile.
“I kinda like it,” I admitted. Heat rushed to my cheeks and then I scampered off to the bathroom.
I did my business, wincing in discomfort. The soreness was a reminder of what we’d just done together.
Pleasure skated through me.
I got the shower going and then stepped into it. A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Bones came in. He stepped into the glass shower and without a word, pinned me against the wall and devoured my mouth.
“The lingerie…” he rasped.
“Yeah?”
“Fucking hot.”
I grinned.
“I didn’t take you for a lingerie kind of girl,” he said.
“Next time I’ll wear something a little less virginal and a little more sex pot.”
“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? Death from permanent erection.”
I grasped his shaft and massaged him. “You’ll die happy then.”
He raised his forearm and used the wall for support while I toyed with him. I didn’t stop until he was coming again, splattering his release on my belly.
“You used to be shy,” Bones said, breathing hard.
“Someone is making me fearless,” I teased as I kissed him.
He pushed away from the wall and then grabbed the bar of soap. He lathered it in his hands and then he cleaned me.
“The candles,” I said in a panic.
“Relax, I blew them out.”
I sighed. “Thanks. I wasn’t thinking about them.”
“No, you were thinking about me, and what we’d just done, and what we’re going to do again and again…”
“You’re filthy…”
He bit my earlobe. “You on top next time. Me behind you. You sitting on my?—”
I cut him off with my lips.
When he pulled away, he looked down at me. “Shy again, huh? You weren’t shy the other night when we were in bed at the clubhouse. You proved you were good at dirty talk.”
“It was dark and I was facing away from you. Now, we’re…the lights are on. It’s different.”
He smiled slowly.
“What?”
“My one and only goal now is ridding you of your shyness. It’ll be fun. Practice makes perfect, you know.”
I rolled my eyes and rinsed off and then I stepped out of the shower. I grabbed a white towel and dried myself before wrapping the towel around me.
Bones turned off the shower and grabbed the second towel I’d put out for him.
I strode into the bedroom toward the walk-in closet. I opened the drawer of my dresser and pulled out my black silk camisole and matching sleep shorts.
Bones was already in bed by the time I was finished dressing. His bedside lamp was on and he flung back the covers and I climbed in next to him.
My hand crawled across the sheet to touch him. I encountered a warm thigh. “You’re sleeping naked?” I asked.
“I always sleep naked.”
“You didn’t sleep naked the last few times we were in bed together,” I pointed out.
He lifted up and turned off the lamp. “I was afraid it would make you faint.”
“You arrogant bastard,” I said with a laugh.
“Was I wrong?”
“I wouldn’t have fainted,” I assured him. “Hyperventilated, maybe. But not fainted.”
He laughed. “Come here.”
I rolled into his side and he settled his arm around me. “This okay?”
I snuggled closer. “It’s perfect.”
One moment I was asleep, the next I was awake. I stared into the darkness, knowing it was sometime in the middle of the night. I also knew I wasn’t going back to sleep because my brain was immediately on.
At some point, we’d changed positions. He was foiled around me like a candy wrapper.
I slowly wiggled from his embrace, pausing to see if he’d wake up. He slept on.
My robe was somewhere on the floor, and I felt around in the dark for it. I found it and put it on before quietly leaving the bedroom. I closed the door behind me.
I made my way to the kitchen and turned on the electric kettle. While I waited for it to boil, I got a mug and the loose-leaf tea Bones had brought me.
There was a sleeping biker in my bed upstairs.
My house suddenly felt full.
Full of laughter.
Full of emotion.
Full of life.
I cried in the kitchen as the water came to a rolling boil.
“Hayden?”
I tensed when I heard his voice. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
“Yeah. I thought you were coming back to bed, and when you didn’t, I wondered what you’d gotten up to.”
“I didn’t even hear you,” I said.
He placed his hands on my shoulders and I let him turn me around.
Bones stared down at me, his brow furrowed. “You’re crying.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I swiped at my cheeks. “Lots of reasons.”
“Tell me.”
“It’ll sound stupid.”
“I doubt that.”
I swallowed. “Haven’t I bared my soul enough for one night?”
“Ah,” he said, pulling me toward his chest. He’d put on his boxer briefs, but he was still on display.
I pressed my cheek to his warm skin and closed my eyes, finding unexpected comfort, which only made me start crying again.
“Tell me,” he urged. “Let me make it better.”
“You already did,” I blubbered.
He tightened his arms around me and dropped his chin to rest on top of my head.
“The last three years…it’s all been bottled up with nowhere to go. You—released it. And now I’m crying all over you and I can’t put it away and hide, which is all I want to do because if I don’t, then you’re going to think I’m an emotional mess who can’t get it together.”
“I think you’ve been carrying the weight of grief for a long time. And you’ve done it alone. Your mom hasn’t been there for you. Not the way you needed her to be. And even though Charlie has tried, her world kept turning even when yours came to a grinding halt. Tonight, with me, you started living again.”
“I’m in over my head, here.” I sniffed. “I’ve never?—”
“Felt this way about another person before,” he finished for me. “I get it. It’s fast. And it feels like you’re on a freight train barreling toward a ravine on an unfinished bridge.”
I looked up at him, my lips quivering. “I was going to say I’ve never come that hard.”
He was silent for a moment. “I’m trying not to pound my chest like a Cro-Magnon right now.”
“How’s that working for you?” I teased.
“It’s against every bit of my instinct, but I’m reining it in.”
“Okay, seriously. What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m going to need a bit more clarification on that.” He released me and then pressed my hip to get me to move. He then poured the boiling water into my waiting mug.
“You just walk in on me crying and freaking out and all you do is hold me and tease me and make me feel better.”
“Am I supposed to make you feel worse?” He looked at me in confusion.
“No, but…”
“But what?”
“My ex. He wasn’t good at stuff like this.”
“Your ex sounds like a douche.”
I blinked. “Yeah, he kinda was.”
“What would he have done if he’d walked in on you crying?”
“Gotten really uncomfortable and pretended it wasn’t happening. He broke up with me two weeks after my father’s funeral. He said it was too much and he couldn’t handle it.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“Nope. But I mean, he was twenty-three. Who can blame him?”
“He broke up with you when you needed him the most and now you’re surprised when I do anything remotely sweet.”
“I just wanted some tea and to cry in private,” I joked. “Not a late-night therapy session.”
He grasped my waist and hoisted me up onto the island counter.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He urged me to lift up so he could slide my pajama shorts and panties down. “I know something better than tea at helping you sleep.”