Chapter 32
Tragedy sweptthrough the wedding reception, blanketing the celebration of life and the union of two people with the stark reminder that it was all temporary, and would end in death.
Darcy had lost control of her car and hit a cement barrier between the interstate and an exit lane going full speed. She died on impact. Cam was in emergency surgery due to a leg injury. The doctors didn’t even have time to tell anyone what condition he was truly in, and Lily was in a medically induced coma with a punctured lung.
Boxer and Doc had already left for the hospital. Mia had asked Waverly to take care of Scarlett and Silas while she and Colt joined Boxer and Doc.
Now, Waverly was bouncing Scarlett on her hip, trying to keep her occupied.
As for the rest of us, we sat in the middle of the tent, surrounded by food and dessert. It was quiet except for the occasional noise of a baby, or someone crying in the background.
“It’s our fault,” Rach said quietly. “It’s our fault this happened. We all knew her mental state. We all knew her drinking was a problem. It’s our fault our friend is dead and her children are in the hospital, fighting for their lives.” Rach stood. “I’m going home. I can’t—I can’t sit here waiting for more bad news.”
“Rach,” Logan murmured, reaching for her friend’s hand.
Rach pulled her arm away. “It’s too much. And I’m as guilty as any of you.”
“You’re not driving home,” Raze commanded.
“I only had one drink, and I had it an hour ago,” Rach stated.
“I don’t care. You’re not in a clear frame of mind. You’re not driving home. End of discussion.”
She glared at him.
“Give me your keys.”
“Fuck you, Raze,” she spat, turning and marching toward the clubhouse.
Raze made a move to go after her, but Logan shot up to stop him. “I’ll go. I’ll make sure she stays.”
Logan jogged after Rach, the two of them disappearing into the clubhouse.
“She’s right,” Joni said softly. She looked around the group of men and women. “We’re family and we let this go on for too long. We all knew what was happening and we did nothing.”
“That’s not fair,” Sutton said. “I saw what was happening before anyone else did. I told Rach. She was handling it because they shared a common experience.”
“So, you’re blaming Rach in all of this?” Joni asked.
“No. I’m just saying we were trying. I mean, how do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?” Sutton asked.
“I agree with Joni,” Brooklyn said. “We were all wrapped up in our own lives. We didn’t do enough for our friend. We shouldn’t have waited to do the intervention.”
“Were you going to be the one to tell her she couldn’t order tequila at the bachelorette party? Or drink at a girls’ hang out?” Willa asked. “Embarrass her in front of everyone? She’s an adult for God’s sake. You can’t just tell someone what to do.”
Tavy and I glanced at each other, sharing a look of awkward commiseration. We weren’t Old Ladies; we weren’t part of the club. And now we were witnessing them air their dirty laundry.
Hurtful words started to fly, people began speaking over each other, hurling accusations. Guilt permeated the entire conversation and anger began to brew.
I stood up and grabbed my clutch.
“Where are you going?” Bones asked me.
“I don’t belong here,” I said gently. “This isn’t—I shouldn’t be here.”
His eyes softened. “Stay.”
I looked at the Old Ladies who were facing off with each other, their men attempting to intervene, but it didn’t seem like they were able to.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “You belong here.”
I shook my head. “I don’t, really. I’m not an Old Lady, Bones. My heart aches for those kids—losing not just a father, but a mother, too? And so soon? I can’t listen to them blame each other. I won’t. And what if the kids don’t make it? That will destroy the Old Ladies.”
“What do you need right now? This is rough.”
“I need to leave. Spend the night with me. At my place. Your motorcycle is still there, anyway.” I looked again at the group of people. The accusations had ceased, but now men were holding their wives, offering them comfort as they cried for their friend.
I turned away, not wanting to see the devastation on their faces.
Caring about people hurt. It hurt so much.
“Bones,” Zip called. “Church.”
Bones nodded. “Be right there.”
“What’s church?” I asked.
“Brothers meeting to discuss club matters.”
“Go,” I urged. “I can see myself out.”
He sighed. “Fine.” He cradled my cheek and kissed my lips. “I’ll see you later.”
Before I left, I stopped by to see Brielle and Jazz.
“You’re taking off?” Jazz asked.
I nodded. “It doesn’t feel right. Witnessing their grief.”
She didn’t have a response to that, so I hugged them both and then moved along.
Just as I came into the clubhouse, Logan was closing the door of Rach’s room, a set of keys in hand.
“Hey,” she greeted.
“Hey.” It felt stupid to ask Logan how Rach was doing, so I didn’t bother with the platitudes. “You got her keys. She didn’t want you to stay with her?”
Logan gestured with her chin toward the living room and we walked down the hallway away from Rach’s door.
“She wanted privacy to call my brother,” Logan explained.
I frowned. “Brother?”
“Yeah. They’re…complicated. They used to date when they were younger. They reconnected about a month ago.”
“Wild.”
“Yeah. Don’t know how that’s gonna shake out. She lives here. He lives in Idaho.” She shrugged. “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
“Right. Well, I better get going…”
“Why are you leaving?” she asked.
“You’re missing the brawl out there. It’s not pretty.”
Logan’s eyes widened. “They’re throwing punches?”
“What? No! Figure of speech, sorry. The Old Ladies, I mean. They’re throwing words and it’s getting ugly.”
“And it’s making you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not an Old Lady.”
“You want some tea? I’m going to make some tea.”
“I’m leaving.”
“Take the tea, Hayden.”
I sighed. “Guess I’ll have some tea.”
I sat on one of the kitchen stools and watched her fill the electric kettle and grab two mugs. “How do you feel about chamomile?”
“Love it.”
“Great.”
While we waited for the water to boil, she stood across from me. We were divided by the kitchen counter.
“They’re blaming each other,” I said quietly. “They’re blaming each other for Darcy’s drinking and I just can’t be there and listen to it.”
“This was a no-win situation,” Logan said. “Just because you intervene and tell someone they have a problem doesn’t mean they’re ready to deal with it. Unchecked, you have this—two kids with no parents who are in the hospital. If they even…”
“No-win situation indeed.” I shook my head. “Look, these are just my opinions and I have no right to judge, but those kids are the ones who are losing. Maybe she wouldn’t have listened. But they don’t have parents now. Those kids are the ones who are going to have to live with the fact that there were people around them that knew what was going on at home and didn’t stop it in time.”
A voice came from behind me. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”
I turned on the stool. Rach stood in the living room with tears streaking down her cheeks. “Do you know what it’s like? Do you know what it’s like to have everything you love ripped away from you? If I hadn’t been pregnant when my husband died, do you think I wouldn’t have found solace in a bottle? Sometimes people break and there’s not a damn thing you can do to put them back together.”
My face drained of color. “I know exactly what it’s like to have everything ripped away from me. I know what it’s like to lose someone who loves you so much that you don’t know how you’re supposed to go on breathing. And I know what it’s like to have a mother who isn’t strong enough to be there for you. So yeah, Rach. I know exactly how it feels.”
I stood up. “You know who was there for me when I lost my dad? My best friend. My best friend who sat with me on the bathroom floor during my father’s funeral, holding my hair back while I cried so hard that I vomited. That’s what it means to be family.”
Without waiting for a reply, I grabbed my clutch and marched out of the clubhouse. I didn’t look back.