Chapter 11
Exes. The Gift That Keeps Fucking You Over
HORSE
Ilean back in my chair and let my head fall against the leather, staring into nothing like it might give me answers I don’t want to admit I’m searching for.
It’s been a week—one damn week—since that morning with Gwen.
Since she crashed into my life and somehow made all the noise in my head settle.
One week since I started sleeping in her bed more than my own.
A week of every night ending with her soft sounds in my ear, her hands on me, my mouth on her, both of us getting each other off in every way but the one I’m starving for.
One week for a man who used to crave for nothing but to be alone and now craves to constantly be surrounded by Gwen and her sweet, gentle care.
I’m holding that line for her—because she matters, and I’m not losing her to my own impatience.
I know she’s not ready for more yet, and I’ll give her all the time she wants.
Besides, I’m basically living at her place. I have clothes in her closet, and I even have a toothbrush there. A toothbrush. The thought of it makes me smile. We’re living together, and my Gwen hasn’t even realized it.
Today’s the first day I won’t see her until later.
I’m heading out soon to pick up my boy. Caleb’s staying with me for Christmas break, and Gwen—sweet, stubborn Gwen—is coming over tonight to meet him and cook dinner for us.
She tried like hell to back out of meeting Caleb—telling me it was too soon, that she didn’t want to confuse him or intrude on our time together.
I didn’t let up until she agreed and shocked me by saying she’d fix dinner for us all.
My woman doesn’t realize how strong she is.
I know she’s been hurt in the past. I can tell from the pain that flashes in her eyes from time to time.
Yet I see the woman that she is. There’s no way she will let past pain hold her back.
Hell, even when Gwen’s scared, she doesn’t run.
She leans in to face it. I just wish she’d lean on me instead of putting a foot halfway in and then pulling back like she thinks it will all fall apart.
I huff out a laugh. Yeah. I’m totally in love with a woman for the first time in my life.
Since that woman is Gwen, I’m more than okay with it. She’s everything I could have imagined.
A sharp knock hits my office door, dragging me from my thoughts.
“Come in,” I call. The door opens and Pie, Animal, Knife, and Rocky file in.
Their faces are tight—too tight. That cold, crawling prickle of instinct drags down my spine, settling like ice in my gut.
One thought runs through my head. Whatever this is, my men are bringing bad news.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter, straightening in my chair. “Well, out with it. You guys look like someone died.”
Animal steps forward, jaw locked, eyes dark. “Well, that’s the thing. We think they were supposed to.”
The four of them drag chairs out from the table and position them so they’re sitting around my desk like they’re preparing for a funeral. My frown deepens.
“Explain, Animal,” I order.
He drags a hand over his face, exhaling long and slow. I recognize that sound—it’s the one a man makes when he hates what he’s about to say. “We know who’s behind the shooting you were in, Horse.”
Every muscle in my body goes still. Tight. Ready. Already expecting the worst.
“Fine,” I say. “Out with it.”
Animal hesitates. He fucking hesitates. My brothers don’t do that shit. We’ve faced death together and do that head-on. This means that whatever he’s going to say is going to gut someone. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the someone in question is me.
“Horse, brother, all signs point to the person behind it being Dee.”
The world blinks out for a second. It’s like someone drives a fist straight up under my ribs, knocking the air from my lungs.
I breathe out a broken whisper, feeling as if the words are choking me.
“The fuck you say.” The room turns heavy.
Suffocating. It presses in on all sides, thick with anger and disbelief and something that feels too close to betrayal.
Pie clears his throat. “There were no cameras nearby. It’s pretty clear the shooters planned it all. Traffic cams show someone following you. It was far enough back you wouldn’t have clocked them, but that van was there each time.”
I grit my teeth so hard my jaw aches. I should’ve noticed. I’ve let myself get complacent. Soft. Comfortable. That’s on me—and I swear to God it won’t happen again. Not with Gwen in the picture. I’ll burn the damn world down before I let anything touch her.
“Skip the fluff,” I snap. “Tell me what makes you say my bitch of an ex is mixed up in some asshole taking a shot at me.”
Rocky lifts his chin. “There was an ATM within view of the site. I doubt the shooter thought of that—”
“Rocky,” I warn, wanting him to get to the point.
“I’m saying that,” he pushes on, “because the bastard caught on camera is someone we all know.”
My stomach drops. “Whoever it was, I know for a fact it wasn’t Dee,” I tell him, and I’d die on that hill. Whoever held that gun wasn’t a woman. I didn’t get a clear look. I was too busy diving for cover and protecting Gwen, but I definitely saw a man’s hand on the gun.
Animal gestures toward the big monitor on the wall. “It’s easier to show you.”
The screen lights up with grainy footage.
I see myself standing with Gwen on the sidewalk.
It’s only been a week, but watching it feels like a lifetime ago.
It’s like she’s always been part of my life.
A smile tugs at my lips—until a blurry figure leans out a van window and lifts a gun.
Animal pauses the frame. He zooms in, and I see him. I know that face. Dee’s brother, Mark.
“Motherfucker,” I hiss.
Animal looks pained. “Horse, man … I think we should loop in the cops. Dee will make your life hell, and right now we've got nothing linking her to his actions.”
“But we all know that for something like this, Dee would have to give the go-ahead. Mark is too stupid to act on his own,” Rocky says, and I agree with him.
It’s just the aftermath of what I’ve seen here that is slowly killing me inside.
Dee and I weren’t this big love match, but we lived together for six years.
We have a beautiful son together. There is a history between us, and yes, a lot of it is bad, but motherfucker there was a lot good too.
This isn’t just betrayal. It’s annihilation, and the person who stands to get hurt the most is Caleb.
I shake my head, fists clenching. “I’m getting Caleb today. I’m not letting anything fuck that up.” My voice drops, hard as steel. “What I want from you is proof. Physical proof that bitch knew what her brother did. You’ve got one week.”
All four men tense.
“I have my boy until Christmas morning. Then I’ll be forced to give him to Dee,” I continue. “I want her stopped before she ever lays eyes on my son again. I will not let my son go back to that house.”
Animal whistles low. “That’s a tall order, Horse. Might take magic.”
I meet his eyes. “Good thing it’s Christmas, then. Magic’s supposed to be everywhere, right?”
Pie snorts. “Boss, you got any magic corn for my reindeer?”
I flip him off. “Get to work. I’m going to get my boy early. Knowing that bastard is living in Dee’s house …” I grind my teeth. “I want Caleb out of there immediately.”
My men file out. Each one of them is filled with a determination that radiates through them.
I just hope it’s enough. I have to get this done before I have to send my son back into their clutches.
I head for the parking lot, already fishing out my keys—but Knife appears at the passenger side and hops in before I can question him.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I start the engine.
Knife scrubs the back of his neck. “Horse … I think Rebbie’s been talking to Dee. I’d like to say she’s not helping her—but I’m not sure.”
I stare at him. “You know what it would mean if she helped put a hit on me?”
“Yeah,” he whispers. “I know.”
“I appreciate you having my back, brother, but I’m not sure you should go with me. If they want me dead, they might decide you’re dispensable, too. They could just tell Rebbie you were collateral damage.”
Knife shrugs, looking hollow. “If Rebbie’s involved, they might hesitate. Might buy us time.”
I shift gears, jaw tight. “I can’t believe the mother of my son would plot to kill me,” I mutter.
Knife lets the silence settle before he finally answers. “Women keep their motives quiet. You don’t see how black they are until they think they’ve lost control.”
“If this is about Rebbie—Knife, if she’s turned dark on you—do you think it’s because you fucked around on her so much? Do we need to worry about the club girls?”
Knife shakes his head. “Maybe I wouldn’t have if things were different. Hell, if she had shown me who she really was, I never would have had her in my bed.”
I glance at him sharply. “Is there something I don’t know?”
“Nothing that concerns you.”
“The hell it doesn’t,” I say, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder. “You’re my brother.”
Knife swallows. His voice comes out dead.
“Let’s just say … Rebbie’s got a violent streak.
Enough that I’d rather find other women than be alone with her.
I’d never hit her, Horse. That might make me weak, but you know how my mom was treated.
I could never be a man who hurts a woman. But I can avoid her.”
My grip tightens on the wheel. “That’s no life, brother.”
“It’s the one I’ve got. And I’m not leaving her. I can’t protect Janie if I do. So, this is how it is.”
I curse under my breath. Rage simmering low and dangerous inside of me. Janie is Knife and Rebbie’s girl. She’s older than Caleb. I think she’s in the fourth grade this year. The girl is still too young to be exposed to this side of life.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask quietly.
“Because you’d try to fix it,” he says simply. “But you can’t fix everything. If you could, Dee wouldn’t be using your son as leverage to extort money out of you and live the life she does. You give her everything, and still it’s not enough.”
He’s right. And I hate it.
“I get it, brother,” I say, and I mean it. But I swear right then and there—if I clean up this mess with Dee, I’ll find a way to get Knife out from under Rebbie’s thumb. Somehow.
Knife sighs. “So, tell me about Gwen. The club’s buzzing. Word is you moved in with her.”
I can’t help the smile spreading across my face. “Gwen’s special.”
“When do we meet her?”
“Christmas Day. Dinner at my place. Family only. She’s bringing her girls. I’m giving Caleb a real Christmas—hell, I’m even making Rocky play Santa. Bring Janie. No club girls, though. I don’t want her to see that side of the life yet. This is about family.”
Knife laughs. “Damn, man. You sound whipped.”
“Fuck no,” I shoot back with a grin. “I just know she’s all I’ll ever want.”
Knife gives me a look out of the corner of his eye—half disbelief, half something close to admiration. I let him stare. It doesn’t bother me. For the first time in my life, I feel like a man who’s got everything he ever wanted right within reach.
I know it. I never want to go back to the way it was before Gwen. She’s given me everything. I’ll burn down the whole damn world before I let anyone take her away from me.