Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
CLOVER
Sloan
Hey stranger … Let’s go out soon.
Clover
Sorry lady. School has been really busy. Drinks tonight?
Sloan
My place or yours? Or do you want to go out?
Clover
Let’s go out. It’s been too long. And I’ve got a break in grading. Let’s take advantage of that.
Sloan
Yay!!!! We haven’t gone out since the night we went dancing, and you met the sexy Dr.
Clover
Yes. That night!!!
Sloan
How is Doc?
Clover
He’s good.
Sloan
Uh oh …
Clover
What does that mean?
Sloan
You like him.
Clover
Of course I like him.
Sloan
No, you like REALLY like him.
You’re in so much trouble, girl.
Clover
{hides face emoji} I know.
I ’ve been smiling since I left Dr. Rosi’s office last night. I even think I smiled in my sleep. It’s strange how happy and content I feel. Despite my anxiety and constant worry over what Maggie will do, I feel good.
Something has shifted between Dr. Rosi and me these past few weeks. The intensity of our attraction has increased. This is no longer a carnal need. My cravings for his touch, his voice, or just his mere presence are no longer about sex or desire or raw lust.
I’ve fallen for him.
Like head over heels—there’s no coming back from this—fallen in love.
After what happened with Senator Klint, I didn’t think I’d let a man close to me again for a very long time, if ever. He lied to me about the status of his marriage, about his feelings for me, and so many other things. Like a silly little girl, I believed him when he said he was getting a divorce. I believed him when he told me he loved me and couldn’t live without me.
The initial attraction between Senator Klint and me was very in similar to how my attraction started with Dr. Rosi. It was instant, undeniable, and completely unavoidable. One minute we were talking in the bookstore, and the next thing I knew, I was letting him rip my clothes off me in a dark corner.
I didn’t know who he was. I don’t follow politics closely enough that I recognize politicians on sight. By the time I found out who he really was and what he did for a living, we’d seen each other several times and fucked in more than one public location.
He took me out to dinner and shows like being seen with me wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t question it when those dinners ended up being held in private rooms or we always had private box seats at the theater.
I was smitten and let all those details slide right past me.
I swore I’d never allow myself to be the secret girlfriend again.
And yet, I’m fallen right into that trap again with Dr. Rosi.
Only this time, it feels different. Our connection is stronger, more intimate somehow.
Despite all my efforts to keep this purely physical, I’ve fallen in love with him.
How could I not with the way he looks at me? I’m not just some girl that he wants to get naked in his office every chance he gets. He likes me for who I am. He likes the person behind this body—my mind, intelligence, and heart.
He’s never said as much, but I feel it when I’m with him.
He cares for me, and that’s why I can’t stop smiling.
I thought I loved Senator Klint. But now I’m not so sure it was really love. Infatuation maybe? The attention of a handsome older man stroked my ego in a way I still don’t understand.
It was the first time since I left my parents’ house that I really let loose and allowed myself to give into my needs and wants and fantasies. Senator Klint may have ruined my life, but he also taught me how to free my inner goddess. He helped me discover my sexuality and opened a whole new world to me.
A world that I’ve further explored with Dr. Rosi.
Only this time, my heart is truly involved. This isn’t an infatuation or obsession.
This is love.
“You really, really did it this time, didn’t you?” Maggie says. I look up from my desk to find Maggie standing next to me. I’ve been so lost in my daydreams that I didn’t hear her come in.
“I’m sorry. What did you say?” I furrow my brows and my smile fades as I meet her glare. Maybe there is something that can kill this happiness warming my insides.
“Oh, don’t act dumb. We both know you’re smarter than most people.” She leans in close and drops her voice to a whisper. “It’s more exciting when you play along. Don’t you think?”
My eyes widen as I process the words she spoke. They ring much too close to those I said to Dr. Rosi last night when I was leaving his office.
“Maggie?” I grab at her arm and pull her close.
She chuckles. “Yes, Clover?”
“What did you see?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“Enough.” Her smile turns sickly sweet. “The display of affection was …” she taps her chin. “Let’s just say I saw the kiss.”
There are two other students working at their desks, and I look around to see if they’re listening. Thankfully, they’re not. When I lock eyes with Maggie again, she looks positively pleased with herself. And why shouldn’t she be? She’s getting exactly what she wants.
“And if that kiss wasn’t enough,” she continues in a low voice, “the sounds coming from behind Dr. Rosi’s door were … well, what can I say? Hot. Loud. Positively pornographic in nature. Who know such sounds could come from you?”
“Maggie, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” I insist, even though I know it’s pointless.
She chuckles and takes a few steps back, this time speaking loud enough that others can hear her. “No wonder Dr. Rosi was so quick to give you whatever you wanted. Men will do just about anything for sexual favors, huh?”
“Shh.” I look at the other students. One of them looks up and frowns but quickly shakes her head like she’s more annoyed by the disturbance rather than the words Maggie spoke. The other student has earbuds in and didn’t hear a thing.
“That’s not what this is.” I grab her arm and pull her closer. She lets out a loud yelp like I hurt her. “There are no sexual favors. I’m not like that.”
“Aw, that’s cute.” She rolls her eyes and acts annoyed with me. “I’d say your history proves otherwise. That article I found on you from Cambridge discussed it in great detail the sexual favors you provided to Senator Klint.”
“Those articles were lies.”
She shakes her head and pulls her arm from my grasp. “Doesn’t matter what they are. You’ve done it again, and I saw it when my own two eyes. Now you’re going to disappear or else I’ll tell everyone what you really did.”
She spins on her heels and leaves before I can come up with a reason as to why she’s wrong. I was careless, and now I’m going to have to pay for it.
Again.
So much for going out with Sloan tonight. The thought of showing my face in public right now sends me into a panic spiral from hell. I didn’t even wait for Maggie to make it down the hallway before I grab my belongings and ran out of the building.
I didn’t even wait for an Uber. I was four blocks away from campus before I stopped to breathe and call Sloan to tell her what happened.
I’ve been locked up in my shoebox apartment ever since.
Even though I know who it is, the knock on my door causes a massive spike in my anxiety.
I didn’t use to be this way. There was a time when I never gave it a second thought to walk outside or visit public places. The scandal did a hell of a lot more than expose my sexual life with Senator Klint. It stole my freedom.
A freedom I’ve fought hard to regain. I had just started to relax in New York City. I felt like I was getting my life back.
Thanks to Maggie, my fears are back in full force. Once again, I worry about reporters camping outside my apartment just to get a picture of me so they can make up something new to report.
That’s what my life had become in Cambridge. I couldn’t even stand in front of my window without someone snapping a picture of me and then hypothesizing that there was a shadow of a man next to me. There was no shadow because there was no man.
As soon as the story broke about the affair, Senator Klint ended things with me. The only time I’ve seen him since that day was in a room full of lawyers. The shadows were nothing more than a fabrication to make my life a living hell.
I can’t go through that again. I won’t survive.
Since returning to New York City, my life has been relatively quiet. I like quiet. I need quiet.
I’ve got to figure out how to stop Maggie without losing everything I’ve worked so hard to regain. She can’t win.
I just don’t know how to do it.
I squint my eyes and look through the peephole to double check that it’s Sloan before I open the door. She messaged me to tell me she was almost here, but I still need to see her face before I open it up. I made that mistake before.
Back in Cambridge, I was expecting a fellow student to drop off some notes from a class I missed. When I opened the door, I was hit with a barrage of flashes from a swarm of reporters. To make it even worse, I was make-up free, with my hair in a messy bun, and wearing old sweatpants. I looked like a heartbroken, lovesick girl.
The stories they made up about me after that were embarrassing. One reporter even said I was suicidal from being dumped. Dad filed so many lawsuits over those pictures. At one point, I think those were worse than the pictures of me with Senator Klint.
Thankfully, Dad was relentless and didn’t stop until every one of them was down and the papers printed retractions.
“Come on, girl. Let me in.” Sloan knocks on the door again, causing me to jump. I got lost in my bad memories.
“I’m sorry,” I say after I open the door.
She slides in, drops the bags she’s holding onto the floor, and shuts the door. Then she pulls me into a tight hug. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head. “How do I get myself into these messes?”
“You didn’t do this, hon. This is the doing of that little bitch.” She pulls back and holds me at arm’s length. “If Daddy Davis doesn’t take care of her, I will.”
“Dad can’t take care of this one.” My shoulders sag and I feel like falling into a puddle and melting away. “If he finds out what I’ve done, he’ll never forgive me.”
Sloan frowns. “This isn’t that bad. I mean, he’s your teacher, but he’s not that much older that you, right?”
I shrug. “I know he’s under thirty, but that won’t matter to my parents. He’s off-limits.”
“He’s not married, though.” She smiles. “And you met him before you knew who he was. That’s got to count for something.”
“You’ve met my dad. He won’t care about any of that. All he’ll see is that his little girl fucked up again and got caught up in a sex scandal.”
“There’s no scandal.” Sloan insists. “Maggie can’t prove anything, can she?”
“I don’t think so. She saw me leaving his office late last night. I kissed him before I walked away. I don’t think she can prove it, but I don’t know. I wouldn’t put anything past her.”
“Okay, well … a kiss isn’t that bad.” She picks up the bags she sat on the floor and carries them over to my small kitchenette. “Can’t do too much damage with that.”
“It’s bad enough. Especially given my history.”
She unpacks the bags she brought and holds up a bottle of wine and a bottle of tequila. “Wine or margaritas?”
“Can we order tacos?”
She gives me a huge smile. “One step ahead of you, girl.”
She holds up a carry out bag from my favorite taco restaurant in the city. It’s the best I’ve felt since Maggie ruined my good mood this morning.
“You really are the best friend a girl could ask for.”
“I know.” She holds up the bottle of tequila again and waggles her brows. “Shall I make them, or would you like to do the honors?”
I snatch the bottle from her hand. “I’ve got it. You can’t make a good margarita to save your life.”
“Truth!” she chuckles. “Now let’s eat and drink and devise a plan to crush Maggie and save your career.”