Chapter 57
Elizabeth buttoned up her aunt’s blue pelisse, keenly anticipating her walk.
Her half boots would do for the smoother paths today, and tomorrow Aunt was taking her to the cobbler to have a new pair made.
That was long overdue, and Elizabeth could now afford them without fear of overspending, and she had charged the modiste to her Darcy account without hesitation.
The knock at the front door was welcome, and she found herself smiling as Mr Darcy entered the house. When he saw her, he bowed. “I see you are already impatient, Elizabeth.”
“She is, indeed.” Papa had come out of Gardiner’s study, and looked amused. “Lizzy tells me she does not require a chaperone, so I trust you will be able to manage her.”
His sly humour annoyed her somewhat. “Papa!”
He pretended an injured look. “All right, Lizzy. I will get out of your way.” He turned back into the room and she watched him go, exasperated.
Mr Darcy chuckled. “I believe he still thinks of you as his little girl.” Then he looked at her, his head on one side. “Are you sure you do not wish a chaperone? I would not be offended.”
Elizabeth shook her head. Somehow she knew this was important. “I am sure, and as we walk out, I will explain my feelings about it.”
“Of course,” he offered her his arm. “Do you wish to farewell your aunt and uncle?”
“I have already done so, sir. We are free to leave now.” As they descended the steps, she could see he had brought his coach, rather than an open chaise. They would not be so easily observed, and thus did not need to pretend comfort the whole time. That was a thoughtful gesture, she supposed.
They were soon at the Park, and she allowed her hand to rest on his arm as they strolled along by the Serpentine and watched the sunlight glinting on the ripples.
Not being the fashionable hour, there were only a few others taking exercise, or children with their nursemaids and footmen. None came near them.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” she said quietly. “I need the time to refresh my spirit, which I can only do out of doors.”
“I am honoured to be able to join you.” His voice was quiet. “Would you like to sit for a while before continuing?”
Now was the moment he wished to ask her questions, she supposed. But, they did need to have deep discussions and out here was very pleasant and very private. “Yes, we can do that.”
They watched the swans floating serenely on the lake, and Elizabeth felt her spirits calm still further. Finally, she sighed. “What reason does society think about my absence?”
He shook his head. “We did not make it public. At first, I believe they thought we had secluded ourselves at Pemberley because of my injuries, and now we could, if you wish, say that you were caring for a sick Darcy cousin, but you now no longer have that commitment.” He glanced down at her.
“There has been no scandal. I used my own staff and investigator to search for you, and we did not inform the Runners.”
“I thank you. That was thoughtful.” She gazed at the lake. “What are your intentions now, Mr Darcy?”
His expression tightened; perhaps he had not expected such directness.
“My first intention is to have you be happy. And with all the rights and security granted you by your situation, whether you wish to bear the Darcy name or not.” He was not sitting close to her, but she could feel his reassuring presence nonetheless.
“Elizabeth, I wronged you. I wronged you disgracefully, you who rushed headlong into danger to save my life, and who then agreed to marry a damaged man just to save him and his sister — and yours — from ruin that was not, in any sense, your own.” He turned and angled himself towards her.
“And then, despite the lack of welcome, the anger I exhibited towards you; you involved yourself, became the mistress Pemberley needed, and made a life for yourself.” His voice thickened with emotion.
“Elizabeth, during that spring, I was more in control of myself. I watched you, and admired you and all you were doing. I was trying, in my foolish pride, to change things, but was unable to approach you and make the apologies I needed to.”
His shoulders slumped. “And then, your birthday. The celebration of your majority. How could I have missed it? Ignored it, like every other slight you had received? I cannot — I understood at once, when I read your letter, why you had to leave.” This time he reached out for her hand, and through her gloves, she could feel his warmth and strength.
“Please allow me to apologise for that terrible wrong. I know an apology is not enough, nowhere near enough. But I wish it to be a start, a new beginning and I hope to be able to be part of your new life, even if you wish to live separately from a man who could treat you so.”
She pressed his hand. “I will always listen to you, Mr Darcy.”
He stared at their hands. “I vow to you, Elizabeth. I will right all wrongs. I will show you the man I am now, not the broken man who wronged you.” His gaze moved up and he met her eyes.
“I will … I will never impose on you, so I am afraid if you wish me to do anything, anything in reparation, you must be the one to tell me what you wish.” His smile was slight, and Elizabeth raised her eyebrows.
“Now there is a promise,” she teased and his smile widened.
“I hope you will continue to allow me to call, Elizabeth. I wish to prove to you that I have changed and that I am a better man.”
She softened her voice. “You may continue to call.”