CHAPTER SEVEN
Rori pressed down on the lid of the container, making sure it had sealed, then stacked it with the others. Turning, she opened the freezer and carefully put all but two of the containers into the basically empty space.
She’d learned awhile ago that as a single person who lived on her own, it was often easier to spend time on the weekend cooking her meals for the week rather than cooking each day. It also gave her something to do on the weekends when her two days off stretched long and lonely in front of her.
Why the loneliness was hitting her so hard since her move, Rori didn’t know.
It wasn’t like she’d had a busy life in Denver. She’d done almost no socializing outside of work, except for joining her co-workers for dinner every couple of months. Otherwise, she’d kept to herself, filling her days with walks, where she greeted the few people she was acquainted with her in her neighborhood, photography, and reading.
It was basically the same in Serenity, minus the neighborhood acquaintances, so she shouldn’t be struggling like she was.
Putting the two remaining containers in the fridge for that night and the next night’s dinners, Rori turned her attention to cleaning up the small kitchen.
The obvious answer to her struggle was to stay busy, but there was only so much to do in her apartment, since cleaning and laundry took hardly any time at all. She’d already gone for a walk earlier.
She still didn’t have any furniture aside from the air mattress she was using to sleep on, since she was trying to replenish her savings after the expenses of being unemployed and the move.
Everything over the past couple of months had shown her how precarious her life was financially. When these big changes came, she was on her own to weather the impact of them. It was only because of her previous bosses’ generosity with the severance pay they’d given her that she’d been able to make the move to Serenity.
If this job didn’t last, she doubted she’d get any sort of severance pay from the clinic. Because of that, she needed to keep her expenditures minimal while she bulked up her savings account.
Thankfully, she had no problem with her minimalist lifestyle. She had the most important things paid for already. Her car. Her laptop. Her camera and lenses. Everything else was just gravy.
But still… something was weighing her heart down and leaving her emotions way too close to the surface.
Right then, standing at her sink, Rori felt like she could cry. For no apparent reason. But tears were something she never allowed to flow in the light of day, even when she was alone.
So she took a deep breath and plunged her hands into the warm dishwater to wash up the dishes she’d used to make her meals.
Once everything was cleaned up and put away, Rori went to the large window she’d opened earlier, listening to the sounds of life happening around her. With it being summer, the nice weather meant people were outside more, and she could hear children laughing. Dogs barking. The distant hum of a lawn mower.
Once again, she was off to the side, watching and listening as others went about their lives. Was that to be her destiny?
Her phone ringing drew her attention from the window. Rori went and picked it up off the counter. Seeing Essie’s name on the screen, she didn’t hesitate to answer it.
“How are you doing?” Essie asked.
“I’m fine.” Rori sank down on her bed and slumped over onto her pillow. “Just finished cleaning up from my cooking for the week.”
“What did you make?”
“I made two different things. Pasta and meat sauce, and rice with meatballs and gravy.”
“Those both sound good.”
Neither was necessarily her favorite, but the ground beef stretched to both recipes, and all the ingredients were on the inexpensive side. “They taste pretty good, too.”
They chatted a bit about food, then Essie said, “I was calling to see if you’d like to join us for church tomorrow.”
Rori had been thinking about church since she’d attended the song service the previous week. Maybe if she wasn’t feeling so lonely and disconnected, she might think twice before accepting the invitation. However, she remembered how the music at the service had touched her, and she thought maybe getting out of her apartment and being around people might be good for her.
“Sure. I’d like that.”
“Wonderful!” Essie exclaimed. “We can pick you up again, if you’d like.”
“I think I’ll be okay to drive myself this time.”
“Just make sure you show up,” Essie said.
“I will,” Rori assured her. “I promise.”
“Okay. Normally, the service starts at eleven. But with it being summer, there’s no Sunday school, so it starts at ten-thirty.”
“I’ll be there.”
“We’ll wait for you in the foyer. I look forward to seeing you again.”
Essie’s words were a balm for her aching heart, and Rori knew it was the right decision to attend church with her and Al the next day.
After the call ended, Rori stayed where she was but resisted the urge to pull the blanket over herself and go to sleep. It was tempting, though. With everything she’d been feeling, killing some time in sleep sounded like a wonderful thing.
Instead, after a couple of minutes, she pushed herself up from the bed and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As the water boiled in her small kettle, she went and filled the cheap diffuser she’d bought a few months earlier with some water and a few drops of her favorite scent.
It was called AutumnDreams, and whenever she smelled it, something inside her settled. The scents of autumn and Christmas were her favorite, and she used the scented oil whenever she wanted to feel like she was in her happy place.
Nothing changed about her circumstances, but using the diffuser helped remind her of the small things in her life that brought her joy. Like her scented oil, her chai, the music she enjoyed, and the pictures that she’d taken of beautiful things. There were more, but when she was at her lowest moments, focusing on those things helped to lift her spirits and settle her mind.
With her mug in one hand, she went back to the window. She leaned against the wall, hands cupped around her mug as and stared out at the sunshine.
She couldn’t see much out of her basement window, but every once in awhile, she’d see a dog go by on a leash. Sometimes they’d even pause to do what dogs did, which honestly just made her grin. Now that she worked at a vet clinic and spent time with the shelter animals, stuff like that no longer grossed her out.
After spending a few minutes drinking her tea at the window, Rori returned to the bed and set her mug on the floor beside the mattress. She picked up her laptop and opened it. On Friday, Rachel had asked her to photograph a few more animals, so she’d taken her camera to work.
The more time she spent with the animals, the more she fell in love with the idea of having a pet. It would be nice to not be alone in a new place. There’d be someone there to greet her when she came home at the end of the day. And she had plenty of love and affection to give a pet.
She thought a cat was more practical for her living situation in all ways but one. There was no getting an animal with claws until she’d swapped out her air mattress for a real one. There was no appeal to the idea of waking up on the floor with a deflated mattress underneath her.
Now that the idea of getting a pet was in her mind, Rori had some incentive to buy a new mattress first. She’d have to order something online because she needed to have it delivered. There was no way she could get a bed to her apartment with her small car. That would actually be the case for any furniture she bought.
Maybe it was time to start watching for deals at places that delivered furniture. Maybe.
Everything she purchased would be something that would tie her to Serenity. Not that she couldn’t just sell the stuff and leave, if need be. But in her mind, the idea of getting a bed and mattress felt like she would be creating a root.
And once she had that root, there would be another one. And another one.
The one thing that Rori knew wouldn’t provide a root for her was her mom. She never had, and Rori doubted that would change anytime soon.
Did she want to have roots in the same place as the one person who should have given her roots but hadn’t?
Rori still didn’t know the next morning as she prepared for church, but she also didn’t dwell on the situation too much. She’d long ago abandoned hope that one of her parents would step up and give her a family that would offer encouragement and support.
She’d realized the night before that physical roots such as a job, furniture, or an apartment didn’t scare her half as much as relational roots. Like the one she was building with Essie.
But that fear didn’t keep her from heading out to her car to go to church.
As promised, Essie was waiting for her just inside the door of the foyer and greeted her with a warm smile. After they exchanged greetings, Essie guided her to the sanctuary and to the row where Al stood talking to a couple around his and Essie’s age.
As they took their seats, Rori snuck a look around the sanctuary to see if Lee was there. She spotted him in the same area as he’d sat the previous week. Though she would have liked to watch him, she shifted her attention to the people on the stage.
Remembering how the music had touched her heart the previous week, Rori paid attention to the words of each song, joining in when she picked up on the melody.
She’d only ever been to Christmas and Easter services, so she had no idea what a sermon might be like. She was braced for something that felt like a lecture, since she wasn’t a Christian.
Instead, the pastor talked about how Christians should live when they give God control of their lives.
“When we become part of God’s family, we should reflect His traits in our lives. What we were before we became His is no more. The way we live must glorify God. In our words. With our actions. In the ways we interact with the people in our lives.
“For some, that change might be more drastic than for others, but no one becomes a child of God without a changed life. Because in that moment, our purpose for living changes. We go from living for self to living for God. That means priorities shift, and we must be open to the reality that God’s plan for our lives might be different from what we previously saw unfolding.”
Rori hadn’t really had much of a plan for her life. All that had really mattered was that she had enough money to pay her bills and put something into her savings account.
What more could she plan for?
A relationship?
Though she’d been on some dates, Rori struggled to believe that a man would actually give her a place of importance in his life. If she’d gotten into a serious relationship, she’d have had to keep her guard up, preparing herself for when she’d lose that importance.
In the end, she wasn’t willing to be that vulnerable to another person. Which meant she wasn’t aspiring to have a marriage or kids.
A career?
She didn’t have the money for college. Nor was she supremely talented in such a way that would guide her in a specific career direction. She was very, very average.
Aside from attending church, how would her life change if she became a Christian?
Could God really have a plan for her?
“He loves you and wants you in His family,” the pastor said. “To be His child.”
Rori wrapped her arms around herself. Would God really want her to be His child? Would He really care enough about her to offer her the family she’d never had?
She didn’t like to think too deeply about stuff like that, so she forced her attention back onto the pastor.
“He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins. God wouldn’t have done that if He didn’t love us and want us to be His. But once we’re part of His family, we need to reflect to the world that we are His child. We must live our lives for God, fleeting though they may be.”
Rori’s life didn’t feel fleeting. At times, it seemed like it was dragging, with each day being the same as the previous one.
Would God give her life purpose?
Using her phone, Rori made note of the Bible verses the pastor mentioned. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue to dwell on what she’d heard that day because it treaded into painful territory for her. However, just in case she changed her mind, she wanted to have the information.
The song following the sermon was a simple one, but clearly it was impactful to the people in the congregation. Rori could understand why as she read the lyrics and recalled the pastor’s words.
In my life, Lord, be glorified.
There was emotion in the air as people lifted their hands as they sang. It was worshipful and reverent, especially when the instruments stopped playing.
Once again, a longing flared to life in her heart.
Family.
Belonging.
And now… Eternity.
Each word resonated with something deep inside her.
But then the service ended, and she didn’t know what to do with her emotions.
“I wanted to have you join us for dinner,” Essie said as they got to their feet. “But Cath called this morning to ask if we could help her out this afternoon, since she’s not feeling very good.”
“How far along is she now?”
“Thirty-three weeks, and she is ready to have the baby now.”
There was no way Rori could be upset about Essie and Al wanting to help their daughter, especially since Cath was taking care of a couple of other young children too.
As they headed for the door of the church, Rori heard someone call her name. After saying good-bye, Essie and Al continued to the door while Rori turned back around.
“It’s so good to see you here,” Charli said with a smile. “How have you been doing?”
“I’m doing well, thank you.”
“Do you have plans for the afternoon?”
Rori nodded. “Since it’s so nice, I’m going to the garden at the park to take some pictures.”
“That sounds nice,” Charli said. “And a coincidence. We’re going there too.”
Rori shifted on her feet. “It’s such a nice day, I’m not surprised.”
“Yep. We’re going to have a picnic and play some volleyball. You should join us.”
Charli’s words took Rori off-guard, and for a moment, she was speechless. In the next moment, however, she knew she couldn’t accept. Maybe if Lee had been the one issuing the invitation, she might have considered it. But she wasn’t going to be drawn into Lee’s personal life without his say-so.
“Thank you for the invitation,” Rori said. “But I’m afraid I have to decline.”
A frown crossed Charli’s face, and Rori braced herself for the woman demanding an explanation for why she wouldn’t join them. Instead, she nodded and said, “Let me give you my phone number. If you change your mind, shoot me a text. You are more than welcome to join us. Even late.”
Rori put Charli’s number into her phone. “Thank you again for the invitation.”
“I hope you change your mind,” Charli said, her tone earnest. “If not, hopefully I’ll see you here again.”
After they said goodbye, Rori watched as Charli walked to where a large group of people stood together. Lee was among them, and for a split second, Rori regretted saying no to Charli’s invitation, but she’d made her decision. With an ache in her heart, she swung around and headed for the door.
Once she got home, Rori quickly changed clothes, then made a sandwich. She put it in her backpack along with a bottle of water, her phone, and wallet. After locking up her apartment, she carried the backpack and her camera bag out to her car.
She’d discovered the flower garden at the park the previous weekend, and she was looking forward to exploring it again and photographing the blossoms there.
Knowing Lee and his family and friends were there too made Rori a little cautious. However, the park was big, and she hadn’t seen anyone playing volleyball in the immediate area of the garden the last time she’d been there. So, the chances of her running into them were pretty slim.
And while that might be a bit disappointing, it was also a good thing.