CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Rori smiled at Charli as she and Blake settled into the pew next to her. “Hey.”
“Hey. How are you feeling?” Charli asked. “You don’t have the same bug as Lee, do you?”
Rori shook her head. “I feel fine.”
“I have no idea what is going on with him.” Charli frowned. “He didn’t eat any supper last night, and when I went to check on him before I went to bed, he didn’t answer his door. I opened it just to make sure he was okay, and I heard him throwing up in his bathroom. He looked rough this morning when he came down to get something to drink.”
Lee’s sudden sickness concerned Rori, and she wished that she could do something for him. He’d texted that morning to let her know that he wouldn’t be at church.
She doubted they’d be going to the park that afternoon because it was raining. And since Lee was sick, she didn’t feel comfortable going to hang out at Charli’s house without his invitation.
Their communication had been basically nil since he’d gotten sick, which Rori understood. But she missed him. In a relatively short time, she’d gotten used to being in regular contact with him.
She’d prayed for him since receiving the text from him the day before, cancelling their date for that evening. Even if they couldn’t hang out together, she wished they could talk instead of texting. However, she would let him decide how to communicate with her when he wasn’t feeling well.
Hopefully this bug—whatever he had—would leave quickly.
Four days later, however, Lee was still suffering with whatever plagued him. To Rori, he looked haggard and gaunt. Like he wasn’t getting anywhere near enough sleep or food.
Though Lee had continued to come into the clinic, Dr. Carl sent him home early most days. Like the rest of them, the older man regarded Lee with concern.
For Lee’s part, he kept his distance from everyone, wearing a mask when he had to be in a room with any of them or with the pet owners. Rori really missed having physical contact with him.
Even though they’d restrained themselves from PDA at the office, there were moments when he’d touch her shoulder or her back. Or she’d brush her hand against his if they passed in the hall. Little things that suddenly seemed so significant now that they weren’t happening.
The one thing Rori was grateful for was that no one else had come down with whatever bug Lee had. It would have been horrible if the kids had caught it, considering the toll it had taken on an adult.
They still talked each day, but the conversations were brief, and the lighthearted teasing moments were non-existent. Rori hoped that it was just because Lee wasn’t feeling well. However, something in the back of Rori’s mind told her it was more.
She didn’t know why she felt that way. Physically, it was clear he was suffering. But there was just something in her gut that told her something else was really going on.
She’d just returned to her desk following lunch on Friday afternoon when the door to the clinic opened and her mom walked in, followed by Alexis, Rori’s younger sister. Alexis was two years younger than Rori, and James, the other sibling from that marriage, was a year younger than Alexis.
“Hello, Aurora,” her mother said. There was no smile on her face as she cast a haughty gaze around the room.
She didn’t have the cat with her, so Rori braced herself for the conversation to come.
“Hello,” Rori replied, getting to her feet so she could face her mom head on. “What can I do for you? Is something wrong with Queen Charlotte?”
“She’s fine. And even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t bring her here.”
Rather than respond to that, Rori turned her attention to her sister. “Hey, Alexis.”
“Hello.” Alexis wrinkled her nose as she looked around the reception area of the clinic with much the same disdain as her mother. “Why are you working in a place like this?”
“There’s nothing wrong with this clinic,” Rori said, careful to keep her tone placid. “I enjoy working here.”
“Of course you would,” Alexis said. “You never did try to aim for anything loftier than being a simple receptionist.”
At one time, the barbs would have hurt, but Rori no longer cared what her “family” thought about her life choices.
“If you’d been motivated and gone to college, you’d have a much better job,” her mom said.
Rori didn’t bother to point out that she hadn’t been able to afford college, unlike her other siblings who had received money from their mom or dad—or both.
“If this is where you work, I’d hate to see where you live.” Alexis rolled her eyes. “It’s probably a hovel.”
To them, her apartment probably would qualify as a hovel. However, she loved her little place. It was cozy and gradually becoming more of a home as she added more things to it. Pictures. Plants. Throw pillows. All of it was adding warmth and hominess to the space.
“Or are you living in your car?” Alexis asked.
“Can I help you?” Lee’s voice was harsh as he came to stand at the reception desk.
Her mom’s gaze narrowed as she took him in. “And you are?”
“Doctor Halverson,” he said. “One of the vets here.”
“I’m Aurora’s mother, and this is my daughter, Alexis.”
“Well, Rori is currently at work, so perhaps you could contact her outside of clinic hours.”
Her mom waved her hand dismissively. “No need for that. We were just returning from lunch at the resort, and I thought I’d show Alexis where Aurora was working now. That’s all. We’re done here.”
And with that, her mom and Alexis headed for the door. Alexis sent a smirk over her shoulder at Rori as she followed her mom from the clinic.
Rori sank down in her chair and stared blankly at the door. She’d been dealing fine with her mom and sister until Lee had arrived.
It was a rare thing that her mom claimed her as a daughter the way she did Alexis. If she ever had to tell someone who Rori was to her, it was always identifying herself as her mother. It might seem like the same thing, but in Rori’s heart, it had always felt like a denial. Like she wasn’t good enough to be claimed as a daughter.
She thought she’d gotten over it, but it had still stung to hear it.
Now, she was once again wanting someone to claim her.
However, Lee hadn’t told her mom that he was Rori’s boyfriend. He’d stood apart from her, taking on the role of her boss. It was probably the best thing, since they were at work.
But they hadn’t been dealing with a client of the clinic. They’d been dealing with Rori’s family, and she could have used some support beyond him just chasing them off.
She’d needed them to see that there was someone who wanted her in their life. The hurt Rori felt over that was soul deep. Deeper than the rejection by her mother because she’d never known her love.
But Lee was different. He’d said he loved her. He’d made her think she was important.
“Why do you let them treat you like that?” Lee asked, his voice sharp.
“What?” Rori turned to look at him, wondering if this was a dream. A bad dream. It had to be.
“Why don’t you stand up for yourself?”
The harshly spoken question was like a stab in her heart. Lee’s expression was hard. Maybe even angry. At her.
What was going on?
She was so confused.
“They’re not important to me, so I don’t care enough to fight to change what they think.” And the last time she’d tried, her dismal life had become nearly intolerable.
All she wanted when her mom made one of her rare appearances in Rori’s life was for the visit to be over sooner rather than later.
“You shouldn’t let anyone treat you like that. It’s not right.”
Rori shrugged, now wanting her conversation with Lee to be over. It was the first time she’d felt like that.
Whatever had made him sick seemed to have negatively affected his personality as well. However, Rori knew that being sick could bring out the worst in a person, so she just had to be patient with him.
“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I’m going to leave after this next patient.”
“Okay.” Rori didn’t know what more to say.
Lee dragged a hand down his face, suddenly looking more exhausted than ever, the edge of anger gone from his expression. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yep.”
She didn’t get up to hug him because she wasn’t willing to chance him rebuffing her, even if it was just so that he didn’t pass his bug onto her. Her heart couldn’t handle it.
So she stayed in her chair and watched him walk away.
Rori thought that Lee had come to the front to let her know in her capacity as receptionist that he wouldn’t be available for the rest of day and that he’d come back as her boyfriend to say goodbye before he left. However, after the dog and its owner had left, time ticked by without Lee coming to talk to her.
When Alys mentioned a short time later that he’d left already, Rori, once again, didn’t know what to think, and she wished that she could leave as well. It was horribly hard to focus on her job when she was confused and her heart hurt.
They had a couple of walk-ins that afternoon, but Dr. Carl was there to take care of them. Rori was beyond grateful when the day was over, and she could escape to her apartment, which wasn’t a hovel by any stretch of the imagination.
It was, in fact, her retreat, and she was eager to get home.
After she walked inside, Rori closed the door and locked it. Since it was still bright outside, she didn’t pull down the blinds yet.
With Lee’s help, she’d recently added some gauzy curtains which protected her from people looking in during daylight hours. When darkness fell and she turned on the lights, she’d pull down the blinds to completely hide her apartment.
Since she had no plans to leave her apartment for the rest of the day, Rori switched out of her work clothes into a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized T-shirt. Once she was comfortable, she went to see what was in the kitchen to eat.
Though she wasn’t exactly hungry, Rori wanted to know what she had on hand since it hadn’t been her plan to eat supper at home that evening. There were a couple of cans of her favorite soup, along with some frozen meals to choose from so she’d be fine.
While she was in the kitchen, she made herself a cup of chai, then went to turn on her diffuser.
When she realized what she was doing, Rori decided to lean right into it and went to the windows to pull the blinds down, casting the room into shadows.
After picking up her tea from the kitchen, she went to her bed and put the mug on the night table next to it. She climbed onto the bed and rested back against the pile of pillows she’d collected over the past few weeks.
Her laptop sat closed against the back of the daybed, and Rori reached for it. After opening it, she clicked to the site where she usually ordered her ebooks and spent a few minutes perusing the titles. Her ebook library had lots of unread books, but most of them were romances. That night, the last thing she wanted to read about was some couple falling in love.
A suspense novel would be more enjoyable, given her mindset. She just needed something that would distract her from whatever it was that had gone on with Lee earlier.
At some point, they would need to have a conversation about it, but she needed a little time to prepare herself for whatever that might entail.
Though she didn’t stand up to her family when they treated her badly, it was because she just didn’t care what they thought of her. She didn’t care enough about the relationship she had with them to try to make it better.
With Lee, she very much did care about their relationship. Enough to speak up about how his words had made her feel.
But first, she’d let him heal. And give him the opportunity to acknowledge that he’d been harsh in what he’d said to her.
If neither happened, she’d have to broach it with him. The idea made her nervous, but Rori had had too many people disregard how what they did or said might hurt her.
People probably thought she was a weak person, without the strength to confront anyone. She might have actually thought that of herself, too. But she was coming to realize that when it came right down to it, she could—and would—stand up for herself. If it was important.
She closed the laptop, having made a purchase that would show up on the ebook app on her phone. Even though her phone had a small screen, it was easier to read on it than on her laptop.
Curling up on her side, Rori tucked the pillows around her body and began to read.
She’d made it through three chapters when a text appeared as an alert on her screen.
Lee: Are you coming over for pizza?
Rori lowered her phone and stared blankly across the room. What did she tell him?
Just a few days ago, she would have said yes, and hopped out of bed to change her clothes. She would have rushed over, happy that Lee wanted to see her.
But now, she felt a little hurt and needed some time to lick her wounds. She wouldn’t put off seeing him for long, but she needed her hurt to be dulled a bit. Hopefully giving herself a day or two before talking to him would achieve that.
I thought it might be cancelled because of you not feeling well.
Lee: No. They’re still having it. I’ll have to keep my distance, though.
In that case, I’ll just hang out here. I’ve kind of already settled in for the night.
Lee: Sounds good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
Okay. Hope you feel better!
She added a heart emoji and got one back from him. Then the conversation was over.
Rori shifted against her pillows to pick up her mug and take a sip before turning her attention to her book once again. Only now, she couldn’t focus on the story.
Uncertain what to do, Rori lowered the phone to her lap and took several deep breaths. This was all so new to her. Relationships of this nature. Not just what she had with Lee, but also the friendships she had with his family and Essie and Al.
It had been in the back of her mind that they’d tire of her eventually. Since that day at Essie’s, she’d prayed every day that these relationships would deepen and strengthen and be with her for years to come.
Was she jumping to conclusions if she assumed that God had not answered that prayer? Or was she asking wrongly? Or had she been too selfish in asking for something for herself?
Rori sighed. Instead of seeking escape in fiction, she should have been praying. Perhaps if she’d been a Christian longer, that might have been her first reaction.
She’d been praying for Lee and for their relationship since she’d become a Christian, but she hadn’t prayed about the situation when it had unfolded earlier that afternoon.
Setting aside her phone, Rori bowed her head and clenched her hands together in her lap. Tears stung her eyes, but she did her best to hold them back. She hadn’t cried over what was happening, and she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.
It wasn’t dark yet.
Please God, help me know what to do.
It was a simple request, but it was the only one she could think to make right then. She just didn’t know what to do.
Her heart ached as she leaned to pick up her Bible. That pain wasn’t unfamiliar, but she’d hoped she’d felt it for the last time.
Flipping through the pages of the Bible, she found the slip of paper Essie had given her. She pulled out the notebook she’d been using to record her thoughts on sermons and her devotions. She searched it for the notes she’d made as she’d read through the list of verses from Essie.
It had taken her a few days to read through the list because she’d wanted to spend some time thinking over each passage. That meant they’d been scattered in between sermons and devotional thoughts.
Finally, she found the one she remembered reading.
Proverbs 3: 5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
She’d copied the verse out, then jotted down a couple of sentences, including one that said: How long do I have to have been acknowledging Him?
She’d never gotten her answer. All Rori could do was hope that she’d been a Christian long enough that God would direct her in what to do.
There wasn’t anything else she could do for the time being. Rori just hoped that the situation would get resolved quickly so she didn’t have to wait around trying to figure out how to minimize the hurt and the impact on her life.