Chapter 21
CALEB
T he familiar green sign flashes neon in the light cast by the car’s headlights. I’m surprised by the nostalgia the sight of it sparks.
Crossing into Landry, Kentucky at the start of the summer used to be an event I dreaded. Time spent away from my friends and baseball camp that would instead be filled with stuffy parties or at the racetrack.
I threw one hell of a fit when I found out we were moving here in time for me to start school at Landry High. But my father couldn’t ignore my grandfather’s health issues, and I didn’t exactly have the option to stay behind alone at age fourteen.
Landry looks exactly the same.
There was a time when that would have bothered me; the way this tiny town in the middle of nowhere stands like a time capsule. So certain every other place on earth is envious of its timelessness. Its pedigree.
I used to think it was ridiculous. Who measures a state’s importance by one tiny postage stamp in the heart of it? Turns out a lot of people do.
I lost track pretty quickly of the number of people at Clarkson who would ask eager questions after learning Landry is my adopted hometown, wondering what it was like to live in such a hallowed place.
I was half-tempted to tell them the truth: that Landry is small, and conceited, and doesn’t live it up to the hype.
But something stopped me. She stopped me.
Because anywhere Lennon Matthews lives can’t be any of those things.
I climb out of the car to type in the code at the front gate of my family’s estate. The imposing metal doors open slowly, revealing the long, curving drive that winds through the property.
The house is dark and quiet when I park in front. My father’s gone, like usual. My mother won’t be back for a couple more days. I might have told her my exams ended two days later than they actually did.
It’s close to ten, but I head straight for the kitchen when I enter the house. I didn’t have time to eat dinner after my last exam, and I’m starving now.
I pull out my phone to call Colt as I eat the turkey sandwich I hastily threw together.
“Winters! Wassup?” he answers.
“You free tonight? I just got back.”
“Wait, back as in here ? You’re in Landry?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “Are you free, or what?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. I’m at Jake’s. Come on over.” There’s a strange, almost uncomfortable note in Colt’s voice. Someone starts talking in the background before he hangs up.
I change into clothes that don’t smell like fast food and recycled air, then head back out to my truck.
I’m not surprised to see there are at least five cars in the driveway when I reach Jake’s.
His house was always the de facto gathering place in high school.
Mainly due to the fact he’s the kind of guy who’s universally liked with the added benefit of his house being only a couple of blocks from the high school.
Unlike me, Jake doesn’t live on a massive estate. His parents’ house is part of a gated community of residents who appreciate the elite status of Landry’s zip code but aren’t interested in dealing with the hassle of participating in the horse industry.
I park and walk up the front path.
The front door’s unlocked, so I don’t bother knocking, just stroll inside like I’ve done many times before.
“Winters!” Jake calls when I enter the kitchen, drawing the attention of the dozen or so other people huddled around the kitchen island. “What are you doing here?”
“Great to see you too, Barnes,” I say dryly, walking over to the fridge and helping myself to a bottle of beer.
Friendships shift in college, I guess. I’ve spent the last several months making new friends and practicing with new teammates. But I didn’t think things would be weird with Colt, Luke, and Jake. They were my best friends basically from my first day in Landry.
Jake ambles over to my side. “You said you wouldn’t be back for a couple more days.”
I open the beer and take a long pull. “You sound like Colt. Didn’t know you guys were so interested in my travel plans. I’ll send you both an updated itinerary next time.”
I look past Jake at the rest of the kitchen. There are more people here than I initially realized. Far more than the number of cars out front indicated.
“You’re the one who showed up at my house out of nowhere.” Jake’s trademark easygoing grin appears, but there’s that same undercurrent of something in his voice that was in Colt’s on the phone earlier.
I return my attention to Jake and narrow my eyes at him as I take a sip of the cold beer. “I called Colt and told him I was coming.”
“Hey, you made it.” Colt appears in the kitchen and gives my shoulder a punch in greeting.
“Hey,” I reply. “Jake was just about to tell me why the two of you are acting so weird.” I raise my eyebrows and glance between the two of them.
Jake rolls his eyes. “Luke!”
The fourth member of our crew pokes his head into the kitchen. “Wassup?” Then his gaze lands on me. “Winters!” He bounds over to bump fists.
I would be much more pleased to see my three best friends for the first time since August if I wasn’t becoming increasingly aware there seems to be something they were all keeping from me. “Hey, man. Are you going to explain why these two are acting so strange?”
Luke glances between Colt and Jake, looking lost.
“We were thinking Winters might like a heads-up about the guest you invited,” Colt finally prompts.
Luke sucks in an audible breath. “Oh shit, yeah.” He turns to me. “Uh, yeah, so I ran into Cassie Belmont over Thanksgiving break,” he says.
The words are innocuous enough, but then he glances at Colt, then Jake, making me think they actually aren’t.
“Cassie Belmont,” I repeat, trying to figure out why that name sounds so familiar. And then it clicks. “Cassie. She moved here senior year.”
“Yeah, so, she seemed interested, so we hung out over Thanksgiving a bit. She’s friends with…they came over here one night. Both of them.”
I take another sip of beer, trying to act casual.
Probably too casual. Everyone in the kitchen is paying attention to us, likely wondering why we’re huddled next to the fridge.
I should shrug and put them all at ease. Reassure them I’m not bothered. But I’m too curious. I can only hold the words back for so long.
“You saw her?”
Jake doesn’t bother to hide his smirk. I’m pretty sure he figured out I had a thing for Lennon before I did.
“Uh, yeah.” Luke replies.
“And you didn’t tell me?” There’s a dangerous note in my voice, and I know Luke hears it.
I’m fairly certain I hear Jake mutter “wonder why,” but I’m too busy waiting for Luke’s response to pay attention to Jake’s sarcasm.
“She didn’t stay long,” Luke replies.
“Did you talk to her?” I press, eager for more information.
I’m well aware I’m sounding a little more pathetic with each question. I also know I’m going to visit Matthews Farm at some point during this trip home. Might as well be as prepared as possible.
“Uh, no. She spent most of the time talking to Masterson, actually.”
I say nothing, even as my chest tightens. She wasn’t interested in him before. Has six months changed that?
“She wasn’t flirting back,” Colt tells me.
It’s embarrassing—but convenient—that he can read me so well. Colt’s a straight shooter. He wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it.
“Okay,” I respond. Acknowledging I care.
Which isn’t a surprise to any of my best friends.
They all know Lennon is a touchy subject, so they tend to avoid it. Jake and Colt telling Luke to mention it makes no sense.
“Wait…why are you telling me this now?” Luke glances at Colt, and that’s when I realize. “You invited Cassie again tonight.”
Luke nods.
“And you think Lennon will come too.”
Another nod.
I take a longer sip of beer. Luke, Colt, and Jake all study my expression, but I know it’s not giving anything away.
I’m good at hiding my true feelings. Very good. To succeed in life, always know what others want , my grandfather would tell me. And never let them know what you really want.
It’s usually easy to tell what people want.
Except for Lennon.
I could never tell what she wanted. And ironically, she never seemed to believe I wanted her .
Seeing her tonight shouldn’t matter to me. I know I’m acting nonchalant, but I can’t convince myself I actually am.
I don’t ordinarily need to feign being confident. I just am. I know what to say, how to act. But something about Lennon Matthews has always disarmed that ease.
“Fine. Whatever,” I finally say, because they’re all waiting for me to say something .
Jake rolls his eyes, but that’s the end of the discussion as far as the rest of us are concerned. Luke and Colt start asking me questions about college ball, and Jake jumps in eventually. Our group expands as other friends and old teammates join the huddle.
I move into the living room when the kitchen gets too crowded.
It reveals a whole new wave of people wanting to talk to me.
I’ve been mostly silent on social media for the past few months, and everyone wants to catch up now that I’m back in Landry.
There are lots of inquiries about baseball from the guys.
Lots of not-so-subtle inquiries regarding my relationship status from the girls.
I’m talking to Brett Michaels when I see her.
Lennon Matthews appears in the doorway, and I forget where I am. Forget my own name. A pickup truck could drive into this living room right now, and I’d still be focused only on her.
She’s cut her hair since graduation. The light brown strands only fall a few inches past her shoulders now.
She’s wearing a pink fleece and jeans. Most of the girls here are in tank tops.
A few are even wearing dresses or skirts, despite the December weather.
Lennon’s outfit heats my blood in a way the bare skin doesn’t manage to.