Chapter 36 #2
Finally, he leans back and glances to the right.
I follow his gaze. Sophie is walking this way, with a few girls behind her.
They’re all in soccer jerseys, clearly having just come from a practice.
Even sweaty and tired, they all look gorgeous.
I think one of them was with Sophie at the party, but I can’t remember her name.
“Oh. Hi, Lennon.” My greeting is substantially less enthusiastic than Caleb’s was.
I muster a smile. “Hi, Sophie.”
She turns back to Caleb. “I should have known you’d be here. Remember sophomore year? You had lunch at this place almost every day.”
I take a bite of my egg salad. I know exactly what game she’s playing, and I’m not interested in engaging. So what if they ate lunch together while I was back in Landry, probably mucking out stalls? I’d bet it was with the whole friend group they seem to share.
And even if it wasn’t, I don’t really care.
I’m more annoyed she interrupted our conversation, although I don’t know how I would have answered Caleb’s question.
I don’t know where I want to live after graduation.
So, I’m trying to open up all the possible options.
I thought he’d appreciate that, not act like I’m making mistakes.
I keep eating my lunch, tuning out Sophie’s chatter. To his credit, Caleb isn’t really engaging. He mostly nods in answer to what she’s saying, leaving Sophie and her friends to carry the conversation.
By the time they finally turn to leave, I’ve finished my lunch.
Sophie spins back around instead of following the other girls over to the counter to order.
“Oh, I forgot. I was texting with Brian earlier. He said to say hi to you, Caleb.”
I glance at Caleb. I’ve only heard him mention one Brian…one of his roommates at Mayfair. It’s a common name. Entirely possibly Sophie is talking about someone else. But based on the tight clench of Caleb’s jaw, I don’t think she is.
“Okay,” Caleb answers, then finishes his sandwich in a few bites. He balls up the wrapper and tosses it at the trash can sitting about ten feet away. Makes it, of course. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah.” I nod and quickly stand. Between his reaction to the news about the farm and Sophie showing up, this hasn’t been the most enjoyable meal. I’d rather be outside, enjoying the fall weather.
As soon as we’re out on the sidewalk, I speak. “I thought Mayfair was a baseball camp.”
Caleb sighs. “They host soccer and football clinics too. Sophie was there with a few other girls on Clarkson’s team.”
“And you never mentioned it?”
“Back then, I didn’t think you’d ever end up at Clarkson. I didn’t think you’d ever meet Sophie.”
“So you hid it because you thought I’d never find out?”
Caleb starts to look pissed. “Find out what , Lennon? There’s nothing to hide. Has she hit on me? Yeah. Have I done anything except make it clear to her I’m not interested? No. I thought you trusted me.”
“I do . It’s just weird that you never mentioned it. Never mentioned her.”
“You never said anything to me about that journalism guy you keep hanging out with.”
“Eric? What does he have to do with it?”
“He’s into you, Lennon.”
“He’s just friendly,” I say, annoyed he’s dragging Eric into it. Aside from Caleb, he’s the person who’s made me feel most welcome at Clarkson. Without him, I wouldn’t have even met Abby, Amanda, and Joe. Or gotten advice on journalism electives. “He’s never hit on me.”
“Oh, yeah? So he’s never asked you to hang out, just the two of you?”
I flush, recalling Eric’s suggestion after class. “That’s different. We were talking about the fellowship I told you about. It was school-related.”
“How is it different? Sophie was at Mayfair because she’s a student athlete, same as me. It was sports-related.”
“Fine.” I look away. “Forget I said anything about it.”
Caleb grabs my hand and tugs me to a stop, his annoyed expression softening. “I want you to tell me when you’re upset about things, Len. There’s nothing more terrifying than when you shut down and shut me out. It’s kind of funny, actually, that you’re jealous.”
I glare at him. “Funny?”
Instead of flinching from the warning in my voice, he smiles. “I haven’t touched another girl since the first time you kissed me. So yeah, it’s funny you’re jealous.”
“You mean since we started dating.”
“No. I mean since the first time you kissed me.”
“In high school? But that whole summer, and you were here—single—all fall…”
He shrugs. “I was in love with you, Lennon. I wasn’t interested in anyone else.”
I step closer and kiss him, the sudden rush of love so overwhelming it needs an outlet. Love is a word made up of actions.
The rest of the walk to Caleb’s truck is peaceful.
We don’t argue very often. Maybe that’s because we spent the first few years of high school exclusively communicating that way.
Maybe because the first few years of college only allowed limited time together, and neither of us wanted to spend it discussing anything unpleasant.
This is the closest we’ve come to a fight in a while, and storms make you appreciate the calm more, when it finally arrives.
“My mom keeps bringing up Thanksgiving.” Caleb is the first to speak, once we’re headed back toward campus. “I thought she’d back out and decide to stay in New York, but she’s still leaving me voicemails about it.”
“Oh,” I reply. Thanksgiving isn’t all that far away, I suddenly realize. “Do you want to go?”
Selfishly, I’m kind of hoping he says no. Caleb’s relationship with his parents is complicated. Partly because they thoroughly disapprove of me.
“Only if you want to.”
I give him a wry smile. “I’ll go if you want to. But Cassie invited me to spend it with her family, so if you’d prefer to go alone…”
“I’m not going without you, Lennon.”
“Okay. Then let’s go.” I have no family members left due to lots of unfortunate circumstances. I don’t want Caleb losing his by choice. I’ll go and be pleasant, even if I want to hide every time Mrs. Winters looks at me. At least Caleb’s father mostly ignores my presence. “Is there skiing?”
“In Aspen?” He laughs. “Yeah.”
“I haven’t been since I was a kid. Madison’s family invited me in middle school.”
“It’ll come right back to you,” Caleb tells me.
“I doubt that. I was never that good. And don’t people break their legs skiing all the time?”
“If it happened ‘all the time’ I don’t think anyone would go. You can stay on the bunny hill. We can even get you one of those ropes little kids use if you want.”
I snort. “Well, based on how the last few interactions with your parents have gone, spending a few hours at the hospital might be more fun.”
Caleb laughs, but then turns serious. “We don’t have to go, Len.”
Guilt swirls in my stomach. “I want to go.”
“Liar.”
I smile. “I think we should go.”
I expect that to be the end of any heavy conversation. Caleb has other ideas. “About the farm…”
“It’s sold, Caleb. Done.”
“I thought you wanted to live in Landry, though.”
“That’s a big decision to make. I thought Gramps would be around for a lot longer. I got used to the idea it’s where I would stay. I was waiting to see where you ended up.” I raise a shoulder and then let it drop. “Things changed.”
“Well, I still have a farm in Landry.”
“You mean your parents do.”
Caleb shakes his head. “No. I mean I do. My grandfather left me the property in his will. As soon as I turned eighteen, it was mine. One final way to piss of my dad, probably. My parents got his townhouse in DC. Took my dad about a week to sell it.”
I picture the Winters estate, soaring columns and impeccable landscaping. Everything shiny and state-of-art and brand-new. “You own the farm?”
“Yes.”
Based on what Matthews Farm just sold for, I have a pretty good idea what the Winters estate must be worth. “Wow.”
“Tom Stradwell told me he offered you a job at the Gazette . We can move back to Landry, after graduation.”
“But what about baseball? The draft?”
“I don’t have to play, Lennon.”
“But you want to. You love baseball.”
“I love you more,” Caleb says. His words twist my insides, in both a good and a bad way.
“You don’t have to choose, Caleb. I gave the farm up to come here. I didn’t abandon a dream.”
“Didn’t you?” he replies.
I look away. In some way, I guess I did.