39. Delaney
CHAPTER 39
Delaney
A s the first rays of dawn light up the horizon, my mom looks at me with deep sadness dulling her once vibrant green eyes. She’s no longer wearing the hat, and her shoulder-length bob hair is now a mixture of gray and brunette.
“I know it’s hard to understand. Richard hid so much from me in the early days of our relationship, and I was a na?ve girl who fell in love with him in high school. We graduated, and I thought we were going to have the world. Until we didn’t.” Her face falls, and a pang goes through my heart.
“I conceived in November but didn’t know it until I took a test in early February. We were in college. I finished the semester, and your father and I married shortly afterward. You and Daniel were born July Fourth.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “The first time he hit me was when the two of you were a little over six months old. He told me he didn’t mean to lose his temper, but it was hard being a husband and a father when he was finishing his degree, and the two of you kept him up when you cried.”
I stare at her silently, waiting for her to continue.
“He didn’t hit me again for a while, so I thought it was stress. But then the second time happened… and the third. He was strict but wasn’t violent toward you or Daniel.” She wrings her hands together, her eyes staring vacantly at the wooden flooring of my front porch. “He hit Daniel before he hit you, but I didn’t know. Daniel had bruises on his bottom and arms, and when I asked how he got them, he lied. I finally caught Richard abusing him when he was ten… shortly before the chocolate milk incident.”
I suck in a breath, blinking at her. When I release it, my voice quivers. “How old was Daniel when you noticed those bruises?”
She looks up at me with regret and tears in her eyes. “Seven.”
“Oh, God.” I clamp my hand over my mouth, feeling sick. My mind reels with questions. “When did it stop? Why did he switch to abusing me?”
“Daniel started becoming like him. When he was twelve, he lost his temper and struck me. Richard walked in and applauded Daniel for doing it. After that, the abuse toward Daniel lessened, although I wasn’t sure if it stopped. Then you started being defiant and challenging Richard. Your father didn’t like that one bit. Hitting us was his way of controlling us.” A sob comes out of her mouth. “I tried leaving when you and Daniel were five. He was on a business trip, but somehow, he knew.”
She audibly swallows, her face pained. “I turned around with our bags and froze. He stood in the doorway, his arms folded over his chest. ‘Going somewhere, Lindsey?’ He was furious, and I knew whatever he was about to do would be worse than anything I’d experienced.”
“Oh, Mom.” Tears run down my face at the look of pain, sorrow, and terror on her face. Her eyes are distant, remembering that horrific day.
She leans forward and hugs me, her slim body shaking. She’s lost weight.
When she pulls back, she gives me a watery smile. “I didn’t mean to break down on you, Laney.”
“It’s okay.” I squeeze her hand. “I’ve missed hearing you call me Laney.” I blow out a shaky breath. “Are you sure about this? I mean, I know you already have a passport for Canada… but is everything arranged?”
She nods before reaching into the large purse she had retrieved from her car after dinner. Pulling out a folder, she hands it to me. “I know I dropped a lot of bombshells on you last night and early this morning.” She cups my face, her thumbs rubbing my cheek. “I’m sorry I kept you awake all night.”
“Don’t be. It was worth it to spend time with you.”
She nods. “I’ll call you when I can. It will be a while, though. He’ll be looking for me, and I want to protect you as much as possible. I know I failed you in the past….” Her shoulders slump, and shame colors her cheek.
“I understand better since you told me everything. Please, don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay.”
She nods. “You’re strong and smart, Delaney. Don’t ever make the same mistake I did. Don’t stay in a relationship thinking you can change someone that doesn’t love and respect you.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about that.”
A long sigh comes from her lips. “I wish you’d find someone.” She bites her lip, but I see the devilish grin before she can hide it.
“What?”
“Zayne would?—”
“Stop right there. Zayne and I are over.” I cock my head, staring at her. “Why do you like him so much?”
“You were so happy when the two of you were together.” She studies my face for a few beats. “He made you feel safe, didn’t he?”
I clear my throat, buying myself time to find the words. “For a while, yes. But when things went south….”
“Did you ever fear he’d assault you?”
I think back to the bathroom at the lake. Even when he carried me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, I didn’t feel I was in danger of him assaulting me in any way. “No. Even when I challenged him, he seemed to like it…”
“Ahh. He liked you fighting him. It turned him on.”
“Mom!” I slap my hands over my cheeks, trying to hide my blush.
She giggles, looking younger and more relaxed than when she arrived. “He can handle a strong woman.”
I give her a look as she holds up her hands. “I’ll stop teasing you.”
Her expression changes as she gestures to the folder. “The papers inside are for you. They are in a code that only you’ll understand. To decipher the clues I left, you’ll need to think about things I asked you to keep a secret over the years. Once you decipher them, it will lead you to the evidence I’ve gathered.”
My heart pounds frantically inside my chest at the grave expression on her face. “Make sure no one follows you once you figure them out.”
With shaking hands, I open the folder. The drawings inside are done in crayon. “These look like something my kids would do in class.”
“Precisely. If that information gets into the wrong hands, they won’t bother with it, thinking it’s not very important. Study it when I’m gone. Figure out the clues.” She strokes my hand with hers. “I know you will, Delaney. I have faith in you.”
The look on her face devastates me. Tears roll down my face as I close the folder and set it beside me. “Mom.” I wrap my arms around her, sobbing. “Why do I feel like this could be the last time we see one another?” I whisper.
“Don’t think that. Keep the faith that we will see one another again. It may be a while before we reconnect, but it’ll happen.”
I sob in her arms, clinging to her. I already miss her, and she hasn’t left yet.
We’re on borrowed time, and the clock is ticking down.