Chapter 26 - Quinn
TWENTY-SIX - Quinn
Think about what you're doing man … you need to pull back a little.
Rob’s words sit with me like a passenger as I drive toward the Wonderland Bar on the outskirts of the city.
I'm going to see Olivia again in just a couple of minutes, and my conversation with Rob is doing a number on me.
He claims he saw something in my eyes when she came into the office yesterday.
I told him he was full of shit, but I'm excited to see her again today, especially since we didn't speak at all in the office.
Maybe my eyes don't light up, because that’s corny, but my heart knows when I'm about to be near her again, and it responds accordingly. That part is undeniable.
So, what am I supposed to do? Rob asked if I consider Olivia to be my girl, and I didn't answer.
I've had time to think about it now, and I know the answer is no.
She's not mine. She's just the woman I'm hooking up with.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
I have no other choice but to repeat it like a mantra, because she has removed all other options.
So no, she's not my girl, and I have to be better about remembering it.
Tonight will be a great test, because we will probably have a drink or two, and who knows what those drinks will do to us.
Usually, when I drink I want to fuck, and maybe that's also true for Olivia, but I can't let the alcohol make my emotional.
I can't find infatuation at the bottom of my glass tonight.
If anything, I need to walk away from Wonderland much more secure in my indifference toward our situation.
Anything else would make this night a failure.
I'm locked in. I stay focused when I pull into the parking lot, climb out of my car, and make my way inside.
That focus wavers when I see her already sitting at the bar wearing all-red: spaghetti strap top, heels, and even tight red pants, with matching lipstick that glistens when she turns to me with a smile.
Fuck. There goes my dumb ass heart again. I have to take a deep breath and blow it out before I start walking toward her. Come on, Quinn. Stay focused.
“Hey,” I say as nonchalantly as possible. Olivia stands up and grabs me by the waist, tugging my shirt to pull me into a hug.
“Hey. You look good,” she says as we separate. “You okay? You look pissed.”
I shake my head and try to make my face go from pissed off to focused. “Nah, I'm not pissed. I think I just need a drink.”
“Perfect. I could use one, too. I got here about two minutes before you, so the bartender hasn't even made it over to me yet. What do you usually get?”
“Hennessy and Coke,” I reply as I take a seat next to her. “How about you?”
“It varies, depending on how I'm feeling after my work day. Today was fine, but I'm still thinking about yesterday—Nick and all his bullshit about not being able to pitch.”
The memory comes back to me, filling me with regret that I didn't smash his face against the fucking desk for the shit he had to say about shooting his shot with Olivia.
Fuck. Not cool, Quinn. Come on.
“Yeah. I know he's experienced and you need him and all that, but that guy is bad for the company,” I say, eyeing the bartender. “There are plenty of people in Rob’s section who could be trained up to be much better without all of the drama. Just something to think about.”
“Oh, believe me, I have,” she says. “I think a move is going to have to be made soon for the betterment of Obsidian. If he's not going to help, he has to go.”
“Exactly. Stephen, too,” I reply, and I wonder if I'm agreeing because Nick really should be fired, or because he guessed correctly about Olivia and I and I don't want him spreading it to Stephen, who would pass it on to someone else. Or maybe it’s because I might end up hurting them both and getting myself locked up before long, and I don't want to end up in the same place as my dad.
“Yeah, we’ll see what happens,” she says. “For now, let’s just try to relax, have a few drinks, and see where the night takes us.”
After that last part, Olivia looks at me out of the corner of her eyes, and I bite my lip instinctually. I know what she’s saying. I know what she wants. I hear her darkness beckoning mine, and my dark devil is already on the prowl.
I just have to keep my heart out of it.
“Hey!” I yell to the bartender who’s only a few feet away yet hasn't even glanced in our direction. It’s not really a big deal, but my feathers feel ruffled anyway. “Can we get a couple of drinks down here?”
As the dark-haired man makes his way to us, I turn to Olivia. “What are you having tonight?”
“Long Island iced tea.”
I nod and face the bartender. “Let me get a Hennessy and Coke, and a Long Island iced tea for my girl.”
“You got it,” he says, then he gets to work.
As the bartender makes our drinks, I can feel Olivia’s eyes stinging the side of my face like the sun beaming through a window.
I look over at her and smirk. “What?”
With a raised brow, she replies, “Nothing,” and immediately puts the straw to her mouth the second the bartender places her drink in front of her. I watch her take multiple pulls from the straw before backing away with a squint and shaking her head.
“Strong?” I inquire.
“Oh yeah.”
“Good. At least he didn't hold out on you.”
“Thank goodness,” she says, before taking another sip from the straw. I follow her lead and sip my cocktail.
After a minute of silent drinking, I turn to Olivia. “So, you wanted to talk about the proposal. Have you added any sweeteners to the deal since we last spoke about what we’re offering them?”
She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the same time.
“No, but I might have to. Honestly, I don't know if I'm in the mood to talk about the meeting.
This whole thing has me so stressed out that all I want to do is have a couple of drinks, then go back to my place and unwind. You know what I'm saying?”
The look in her eyes is as obvious as the sun shining, so I just smile and nod. “Of course I do. But we’re going to have to talk about it sometime. The pitch is only a few days away.”
“We will,” she says. “Just not right now. Tell me more about your dad. Do you ever go see him?”
My eyebrows raise from the quick turn in the conversation.
I guess she really doesn't want to talk about the pitch, but my father is usually off limits.
However, after another gulp that finishes off my Henn and Coke, I'm feeling a little more open.
I ask the bartender for another and sip from it before I exhale and decide to answer Olivia.
“Sometimes,” I admit. “But I'm due for another visit. It’s been a little while.”
“Does he know all about how brilliant and successful you are? I'm sure he’s very proud of you.”
My eyes fall to the glass of dark liquid in front of me and stay there.
“He knows what I do for a living. I haven't been there since I got promoted. Hell, I've been promoted twice and I still haven't told him yet. It’s tough because I know what he did to get locked in there, but I wish he was still out, yet I also know that the darkest parts of who I am came from him, and that makes me feel some type of way about him. Dad has always been unapologetic about who he is. He liked being a criminal and making money however he could, and he didn't hesitate for a second before killing someone. I know he had a good reason, but the string that connects us terrifies me because we’re so much alike, especially when I get upset. It’s like he lives in me, and I want to be my own person but … it’s just hard.”
“You sound conflicted about it.”
“I am.”
“Then you should talk to him,” Olivia suggests.
“I wish my father was still around so I could talk to him about how I'm feeling.
I guess if he hadn't died then I wouldn't be in this position, but still. I’d do anything to be able to talk to him. So, I know it’s hard, but don't take his life for granted. Go see him.”
I want to be annoyed by getting advice that I didn't ask for, but a big part of me knows that she's right.
I should go see my dad. Out of all the people in my life, he's the one with the opinion I value most. I'm scared of being like him, but I don't think I've ever looked up to anyone more than I do him. It’s confusing and headache-inducing, so I always choose not to dwell on it. Even now. Instead of planning my next visit to Gander Hill Prison, I gulp my drink like it’s water until I hit the bottom. As soon as it’s gone, I ask for another.
As the bartender hands me my third drink in a ten-minute span, the door to the bar opens and two new patrons enter.
One is tall with slender arms and a well-manicured beard, while the other is short and stocky, wearing a black and red flannel with a red hat with white letters scrawled across the front of it.
I watch them come in, and usually I’d just look away and go on about my business, but the tall one’s eyes find us.
He does a double take, whispers something to his shorter friend, then makes a B line from the entrance to the bar.
When he reaches us, he ignores me and focuses solely on Olivia, his blue eyes lighting up like a solar flare as he gawks at her.
“Olivia Lucero,” he says with a chuckle. “As I live and breathe. Wow. How are you? Long time no see.”
Olivia steals a lightning quick glance at me before turning around in her seat and smiling at the tall guy.
“Simon,” she says. “Wow, yeah it has been a long time. How have you been?”
Simon reaches in for a hug, practically pulling Olivia over to him. She barely returns the gesture with a quick, one-armed pat on the back, but Simon holds her tight, glancing at me once before closing his eyes like he’s hugging a long lost loved one. When they pull apart, Olivia frowns.
“Wow. Umm, okay. Anyway. How are things at First Financial?” she asks with a puzzled look on her face.