Chapter 5
FIVE
PHELAN
I stood on the sidewalk after my rideshare drove off and stared at the house, wondering if this was a mistake.
No, we need our mate.
But does he want me? I expected Rawling to open the door and pitch a potted plant at my head. Not that he knew I was coming, so I might have time to duck while his brain registered what he was seeing.
I had a lot of apologizing to do, and it might take all weekend. I kept asking myself how I could have been such a fool. But when you’re confronted by reality that you not only have a mate but you’ve known him for months and been inside of him, instinct takes over.
I’d been a shitty… a shitty what? Not friends with benefits because we weren’t friends, and I’d hidden what we’d been doing from everyone. There were only sexual benefits until he’d had enough and broken up with me.
That was a low point, when I dragged myself around college and could only think of him and how much I missed him. And when we finally got back together, I got him pregnant and then took on the role of an alpha from centuries past and mated him.
Will you stop? We’re here.
I’d never been so apprehensive when ringing a doorbell. I counted the seconds, thinking Rawling might be out or so ill he needed an ambulance.
But my beast picked up the soft padding of footsteps.
“Do I need to sign or can you leave it on the doorstep?”
He was expecting a delivery, so maybe my folks had sent another one since this morning.
“Neither.”
He squawked, and there was a thump. It was the dreaded flower pot. I made ready to lurch to one side, but the door flung open and Rawling was empty-handed. He was paler than a few weeks ago, and his cheekbones were more prominent. But what brought tears to my eyes was a glimpse of his small bump.
“What the freaking fuck are you doing here?” He peered around me. “Did you change jobs? Delivery drivers get a lot of grief.”
“I came to see you.” I held up a shopping bag. “Peace offering.”
He glared at me, but his hand went to my mark on his neck.
Our mate.
He snatched the bag and stomped into the house. The door was still open, but I stayed outside. I’d already stolen agency from Rawling when I marked him, so I refused to invade his privacy.
He glanced over his shoulder. “If you’re expecting a tip, there is none. Lousy service, so I’m giving you one star.”
I had to take his barbs because I deserved it.
Rawling disappeared, and I made plans to stay on the doorstep all weekend. But he poked his head around a corner and told me to get my ass inside and close the door.
“I hope it’s as hot as it used to be, because if not, you’re outta here.”
That gave me hope that I had a chance. I patted my butt and told it to make me proud.
Rawling was pulling out a quiche I’d picked up in town, fruit salad, bread, and coleslaw. I kinda expected him to barf, but he grabbed plates and utensils and told me to serve myself.
“The morning sickness is a little better. I’ve been eating one-color foods but I might branch out and eat all the colors of the rainbow.”
“I’m glad.” He plonked himself on the sofa and tucked in, and I joined him and sat opposite.
I ate a piece of quiche while deciding whether to start with an apology or tell him how much I cared about him.
“I’m so sorry and I love you and I’ve missed you terribly.”
My wolf was impressed by how I’d combined all three points into one sentence.
Rawling sighed. “You’ll need to do better than that because I’m still angry.” He put down his fork. “I’m pregnant with our baby, and for all your dickish faults, I love you.”
He burst into tears, and I didn’t think twice before I leaped over and sat beside him. He leaned into me and sobbed, and my tears trickled onto his hair. We sat with my arms around him until his cries faded.
“This isn’t an excuse, and I should have talked to you, but instinct took over and I needed to make you mine. I’m sorry, and I don’t know if it’s a forgivable offense.”
Rawling sat up and wiped his eyes. “I will forgive you, and I’m almost there. But if I decide to toss you out, can I keep your parents? They’re cool.” He sniggered, and I wiped the remaining tears from his face.
He took my hand and placed it on his tiny bump. “I know the timing is lousy, but I’m already so in love with our baby.”
“Me too, and being away from our little one and my mate has made me a hollow shell of the person I used to be.” I needed my mate and child in my life.
Rawling smirked. “I hope part of you is the same size as before.” He pushed out his bottom lip. “It’d be a shame if it was smaller.”
Gods, my mate was hot and sexy, and I wanted to rip his clothes off and fuck him. But I needed his consent.
I leaned forward and stuck my tongue in his ear. He shivered and murmured, “Yes.” But he pushed me away, and his smile faded. I braced myself for whatever was coming.
“I have to tell you something.”
“Okay.” My mind raced as to what he was going to say. He was leaving Sombertooth was my first thought, so if I returned to school, my folks had already agreed Rawling would live with them. No, I had to ask him if he wanted to do that.
“I’m not who you think I am.”
“You’ve said that before, and I’m pretty sure I know you well enough to say you’re exactly who I think you are. Smart, sassy, kind, funny, and a loyal friend. And an amazing lover.”
He got up but held a cushion over his belly with one hand while fiddling with the ring his godfather had given him.
“I’m not latent.”
“Huh?”
He removed the ring, and the latent scent vanished but was replaced by a shifter one. What the fucking heck was happening? My mate had a beast. Why would he pretend to be latent?
Rawling put the ring back on and his latent scent returned.
“Don’t be fooled by the shifter smell. It’s because of the baby.” He explained that before coming to Sombertooth, he didn’t know shifters existed, but his godfather had told him to always wear the ring.
How did I not know our mate was human?
I didn’t either.
We sat for an hour with him telling me the stages of his discovery, and I said very little. He’d run away from me because I mated him but he’d kept his identity secret from me and everyone at Sombertooth.
“Jack discovered who I was when I cleaned my ring.”
I’d had little to do with humans other than when I was in elementary school. I had nothing against them, but it inserted my very human mate into my shifter family and made him an outsider. That made me sad because there were some aspects of my life I could never share with him.
“You’re angry.”
I patted his hand. “No. I’m just experiencing a lot of emotions.” But there was too much distance between us, and I pulled my pregnant mate onto my lap. “I love you and always will, but our future will look a little different than I imagined.”
“Good or bad different?” His voice wavered, and I refused to let him think he was less than. “Much better, more colorful, more fun, and just a lot of more.”
But my wolf was niggling at me to shift. Not because he was disappointed but because like me, we had to recalibrate our thinking.
I made Rawling some tea and covered him with a throw, and taking his godfather’s car, I drove a short way to a wooded area and allowed my beast his fur. He wasn’t interested in hunting but trotted through the trees and asked questions.
Will you be disappointed if the baby is human?
No. But based on his scent when he removed the ring, I suspected our child was a wolf shifter.
I was more concerned with the lie. How did we approach this when we returned to Sombertooth?
Telling the truth would get Rawling kicked out, and it would have repercussions on Jack because she’d kept his secret.
But by hiding it, what did that say about my attitude to my mate? That I was ashamed of him?
I didn’t have any answers other than I adored my mate and our baby. That had to be enough for now.
“I’m back.”
“Not having second thoughts, are you?”
“Never.” I pulled him into my arms, hating that he doubted me. “I’m yours for always.”
“Good.” He yanked down his sweatpants, and gods, he was hard.
“I need a blow job, please.”
The word “please” almost undid me. Rawling was begging for my mouth on him. His cheeks were flushed, and I studied his heaving chest as he took shallow breaths.
“Gods, yes.” I climbed on the sofa and fell between his legs.
He was so beautiful like this, sprawled on the couch with his sweatpants pooled at his ankles. I ran my hands up his legs, enjoying his muscles tensing beneath my palms.
“Please,” he repeated.
I leaned in and breathed in his unique scent which had become more intense with pregnancy. I thanked the universe he’d forgiven me, or was on the way to doing it, and had let me back into his life.
“I’ve got you.”
Dipping my head, I ran my tongue along his shaft ever so slowly.
He tasted as good as he scented. Rawling shrieked and grabbed a cushion with one hand as he lifted his hips and pleaded with me to swallow his cock.
His other hand went to his hair and he grabbed a fistful.
He didn’t tug it, but it was as though it was anchoring him to the sofa.
I shoved my tongue in the slit and collected a drop of pre-cum as my mate shivered and goosebumps sprawled over his skin.
“More, for gods’ sake give me more.” He pressed the cushion to his chest
I wrapped my hand around the base of his length and dragged it to the tip.
“That feels so good.”
Sliding my hand in the opposite direction, I paused and listened to Rawling’s shuddery breathing. Sticking out my tongue, I licked the tip of his cock and wrapped my lips around it.
“Gods, yes. More of that.”
Taking him in my mouth, I pressed my lips on the shaft and slid over his arousal. Every whimper and moan vibrated in my body, and his thighs trembled on either side of my head. He pressed them against me as I sucked him, taking him in so deep, the head pressed against the back of my throat.
“I love your mouth on me. It’s almost as good as when your cock is buried in my hole.”
“I like it when you talk like that. Let me hear you, babe.” That was a first, me calling him that, but we were in for the lot of firsts.
I gripped his hips, my fingers sinking into the soft flesh as I worked his length with my mouth and tongue. Removing his length from my mouth, I fingered his hole, slippery with slick, and smeared it over his cock that was coated in my saliva and his pre-cum.
My mate lifted his head. “What are you doing?”
“I love tasting you.”
“Don’t be a meanie.” He beckoned me closer. “Give me some too.” He spread his legs wider, and I patted around his hole, making sure my fingers were blanketed in slick.
Rawling grabbed my hand, and his eyes grew wide as the slick glistened in the sunlight streaming through the window.
He licked my fingers one by one, and he was so hot as each one went in and out, I wished I could ram my cock in him.
But he’d asked for a blow job, and I was learning to be a good mate and listen to what he wanted.
His mouth shimmered with slick when he took hold of his hard cock and told me I had a job to do. He giggled, and the sound wrapped itself around my heart.
With my hand curled around the base and my mouth wrapped around the shaft, I sucked and pumped. Rawling’s butt bounced on the sofa, and he shouted my name and tugged at my hair.
“So good.”
His breathing signaled he was getting close, and he stuttered before making muffled unintelligible sounds. His body shook with tiny convulsions, and he gripped my hair as though it were a lifeline.
“Phelan, I’m going to come.”
I moaned around his cock, and his body became rigid.
“Gods, yes!” He arched his back, and cum spurted into my mouth. I kept my lips on him until the spasms quietened before swallowing. I let his cock slide from my mouth before joining him on the sofa and taking him in my arms.