Chapter 35 Rawling
THIRTY-FIVE
RAWLING
I didn’t want to hand Eira over to someone else.
But it made sense. It was moving day, and my in-laws had arrived to look after our daughter because we weren’t just leaving Sombertooth. I was getting a tattoo, and so was Jack.
Like Phelan, I was having my wolf etched on my chest. Jack had sketched my beast for me and the tattoo artist rather than taking a photo.
I didn’t want a pic of my wolf, fearing that recreating his image would steal something away from him.
He had waited so long for the moment to push through my “I’m a human” mindset that I couldn’t bear to have his ability stripped away.
“What about putting your bear on your back?”
Jack had been dithering about the placement of her tattoo. She’s considered putting it over her heart, but her bear said because they held one another’s hearts in their hands, it didn’t matter where the tattoo was.
That was so sweet, and I cried.
I was overly emotional because we were leaving the place where I’d mated, become pregnant, delivered our daughter, and almost died.
We’d had offers from three colleges to start in the fall.
Until then, we’d stay with Phelan’s parents and do what Channon did, online learning through Sombertooth, for the remainder of the academic year.
Scottie would come with us and stay in their in-law apartment, and I’d take my time deciding what to do with Rawlins’s house. I didn’t want to sell it because it was the one connection I had with him and my parents, Charlie and Arnie.
“Bye, baby girl. Be good for Grandpa and Granny.” I kissed Eira and held her tight.
They were going back to the hotel, and the security guard was going with them. As soon as our tattoos were complete, we’d join them for the night and leave for home in the morning. Home. That was new.
Phelan kissed Eira, but Jack took her and howled, and her tears spilled over our daughter’s face.
“You’ll see her on FaceTime and on weekends when you come to visit.” We’d already arranged to spend part of the Christmas vacation with Jack’s family.
I was doing my best to concentrate on practicalities and not how I was leaving part of me behind with Jack.
Jack followed Phelan’s folks to the top of the stairs, waving to Eira and saying, “I’ll see you soon.”
I led my friend back to the infirmary that was so bare, with suitcases and boxes waiting to be collected. This had been my home for less than six months, but I was tearing up at leaving the space behind.
When I’d first decided to get a tattoo, I’d assumed it would take weeks and multiple sessions to complete. But I still had a lot to learn about shifters, as shifter tattoo artists worked much faster than humans and one session would be enough.
“I’m thinking a small tattoo.” Jack gripped her wrist. “Maybe here.”
I sent Phelan a look, but he was checking the box numbers against what was on his digital list.
I raised a brow. “Wrist, huh? Are you sure there’s something you’re not telling me?”
Jack tilted her head. “Yes, I’m sure there’s not.
And no, it’s nothing to do with Atticus.
” She rolled her eyes. “Just because his tattoo is in the same place has nothing to do with anything.” She sat down and put her feet up.
“But since you shared so much of your backstory and what’s been happening with the professor, I’ve spent more time with him than I ever have.
” She giggled. “Not counting… you know.”
“Don’t fall for his ‘I’ve reformed’ routine, assuming that’s what he’s doing.” Phelan strolled over.
Jack laughed. “He’s not, and I wouldn’t believe it if he did.”
The tattoo artist, Regina, arrived, and she showed us the stencils, based on the images we’d sent her. I removed my shirt and glanced at Phelan.
“You ready?”
I nodded, and he blew me a kiss. My eyes welled with tears because this tattoo would stay with me until I took my last breath. Though I didn’t want to think of it crumbling to dust along with my bones.
“Check the placement before we commit to this, because once I start, this is where it lives.”
I stood in front of the mirror with Phelan looking over my shoulder, and I remembered our first time together when I’d glimpsed his sprawling tattoo but had no clue about the significance.
“That’s right, but it’s strange seeing him like this.”
Regina told me the linework was first and the rest would be less painful.
Phelan and Jack chatted while Regina worked to keep my mind off the not so much pain but irritation. I couldn’t imagine being human and having this done.
“This will feel heavier,” Regina told me, and my mate gripped my hand. I was beginning to wonder if I should have chosen a smaller tattoo.
The machine buzzed, and Regina noted my skin was taking the ink fast. Go me.
“He’s guarding your heart.” Phelan studied Regina’s work as she instructed me on aftercare. He slung an arm around my shoulder. “And I am too.”
I admired my reddish skin in the mirror as Regina worked on Jack, telling her the wrist was sensitive and the tattoo would sting.
“She’s a warning.” Jack admired her bear etched onto her skin. “I love my wild beast.”
“Goodbye, infirmary. I hope the next students who call this place home will be good to you.”
Jack and I walked down the stairs and out the front doors as classmates and Phoenix House residents asked why we were leaving.
Phelan was stoic and not showing much emotion, but whereas I’d never been fully accepted by my peers until my wolf appeared, my mate had interacted and grown up with many of the Sombertooth student body.
I asked how he’d deal with not attending a shifter college in the fall and leaving his friends. He told me it’d be a learning curve, but he looked on it as an adventure, and he’d added that as long as he had me and Eira, the rest was just background noise.
“We’ll miss you.” Bardoul was crying and wiping the tears with his sleeve as he stood by the car.
“You’ll see us during classes, we just won’t be at Sombertooth.”
“But it won’t be the same.” He took both my hands. “You and Jack changed my experience at Sombertooth, and I’m forever grateful.”
Now I was crying, and Jack was sobbing.
“Good luck.” Channon hugged me and then my mate.
I put an arm around Jack, and our tears mingled along with snot. Gross.
I worried about my friends because we were escaping. Phelan and I had tried to persuade the others to go home too, at least until after Christmas vacation, but they insisted the professor didn’t have a problem with them. Mika didn’t either and look what happened to him.
Holden and Riley swung by to wish us luck while holding hands and giving one another gooey eyes.
While Channon and Bardoul were helping Phelan pack the trunk, Atticus wandered over. He hoped we’d be back in the new year.
I doubted that, unless the professor transferred to another college.
“It’s going to be weird not having you here.”
“Seriously? You’ve been on my ass since the day I arrived.”
He gave me a look. “Not talking to you, newbie.” He clapped Phelan on the back.
“Ass.”
Atticus asked Jack about an assignment they were co-authoring. They started squabbling like brother and sister, or was that like an old mated couple? Nah, they weren’t mates.
Almost out of nowhere, Zev appeared and slipped a note in my hand. He scuttled off, and I looked up, expecting my friends and mate to ask what it was. But they were all talking or bickering, so I unwrapped the tiny rolled-up piece of paper.
My heart clenched and wouldn’t let go until I instructed it to relax.
You’re leaving with many things unsaid. You’ve been wanting to find out where your adoptive parents are, and it’s time to find out. Meet me near the new sports center and come alone. Shaw.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Did he think I was going to waltz over there by myself when it was close to dark without anyone else accompanying me?
It’s not up to you.
What? I screwed up the piece of paper and tossed it in the car. Why are you getting involved? This happened when you were embedded deep inside me and you know nothing of this.
There is a debt that must be paid. A blood debt.
My wolf continued, saying Charlie and Arnie were my parents. They saved me from a life without love.
I couldn’t run off and confront a guy who may have murdered my folks and quite possibly killed Mika. That was the definition of insanity.
It’s my choice. They were your parents in every way possible, and their deaths must be avenged.
Avenge? No, no. I wasn’t maiming or killing anyone.
Besides, I couldn’t leave Eira and Phelan, but as I glanced from my mate to my friends, my brother and bestie, Jack, it was as though they were slipping further away, and they couldn’t hear me, like in a sci-fi movie.
They were fading, their voices jumbling into one another, and I was coming into focus in the foreground.
My feet were moving of their own accord, or maybe my wolf’s.
I tried to tell everyone I was going, but I produced no intelligible words.
I was swept away, and the buildings and students who were all headed into dinner or study hall blurred.
I made it past Phoenix House and toward the quiet of the woods before crossing the parking lot where I’d met Holden and continued to the new sports center that was still under construction.
If I hadn’t found my wolf, I would have needed a flashlight, but my newfound shifter sight picked out a pile of rebar. Was that the substandard kind that Coach had substituted for the high-quality stuff?
But if not for my wolf, I wouldn’t be here, and I’d be safe in the car with Phelan and headed toward the hotel and Eira.
Perhaps having a wolf wasn’t what I wanted, because mine had led to a place where the past and present mingled but my fate was unknown.