Chapter Sixteen
T he ride home couldn’t come fast enough. Chase kept me on edge and tormented. A light brush on the thigh here. A suggestive promise of what’s to come there. Smoldering green and gold eyes everywhere.
I should’ve been concerned about him keeping focus on the road, but I was too damned horny to care. ‘Celibate for ten years, living in an orgy house’ horny. I needed it, and I needed it now.
We were a house away from mine when I noticed the car. An unfamiliar red Saab was parked there, and my first thought was, Whomever the hell it is better leave before I boot their ass down the steps. Unless it was a Girl Scout. Oh, please, don’t be a Girl Scout. I’d never be able to turn one of those away. Was it cookie season?
“Who’s that?” he asked as we pulled into the driveway.
“I have no idea.” There was no one standing at the front door, and that made me nervous.
Chase parked next to the Saab. It was empty. “Stay here, Jillian.” He held out his hand. “Give me your keys.”
“Chase, it’s my house. I’m coming with you.”
“No, you’re not.”
I sighed. “Fine.” I pulled my house keys out of my purse and handed them to him.
“Lock the doors and stay here until I come back.”
I locked the doors but cracked the window so I could hear something. The thought of someone either wandering outside or inside my house freaked me out big time, but I didn’t want anything to happen to Chase over it. If anything, we should be calling the cops to check it out.
I watched him go up and around the back, not liking it one bit when I lost sight of him. I bounced my legs and tapped my fingertips together. I could not handle this waiting. If Chase was not back in—
I heard a shout and then another, and the next thing I knew I was darting to the house, phone in hand, ready to dial the authorities.
The living room light flicked on right as I came up to the door, allowing me to see inside. What the motherfucking fuck? I banged on the front door since Chase had my keys and I couldn’t get in. I could have just gone around to the back, but I wasn’t thinking clearly because I was so frickin’ livid.
Chase opened the door, not looking much happier than me. “Jillian, I told you to wait, dammit.”
“I thought you were in trouble,” I said, pushing past and zeroing in on my target. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“You know him?” Chase pointed to the man stretched out on my couch, shoes off, hands interlocked behind his head, acting as if he owned the joint.
“Chase, this is my ex-husband, Mike.” I clenched my fists. “Mike, why are you sitting in my house in the dark? Are you trying to give me a damned heart attack?” My chest suddenly did go into overdrive as a thought flitted into my mind. “Oh, my God. Is everything okay with Daniel?”
“He’s fine.” He waved his hand. “And it wasn’t dark when I got here. I must have fallen asleep waiting for you.”
“Have you been drinking?”
“Just a few while I was waiting for you. And who’s this kid?” His slurring indicated that it was more like a few of a few.
Argh. My lust was so far gone it was like it’d never existed. Mike was the ultimate anti-aphrodisiac. I was so pissed off. I couldn’t in good conscious kick him out to endanger others, and I couldn’t let Chase stay in the same house as him. I wanted to pull my hair out.
This is not happening right now.
“He’s a friend of mine,” I told Mike. I grabbed Chase’s arm and whispered, “Can we please talk outside?” I saw his jaw tick as he glared at Mike, but he looked at me and nodded. “I’m sorry, Chase.”
We went down to the driveway for some privacy. I wasn’t sure exactly what to say, but I wanted to apologize again, even though I had nothing to do with Mike barging in.
“Does your ex come over like this a lot?”
“No. In fact, after the divorce, I barely saw him at all. It’s just been recently… He’s been picking up some of his things that were stored here. I have no idea what he’s doing here tonight.”
“How’d he get in?”
“Um, he still has a key.” I looked up toward the house. “It was never an issue before, but now I know I need to get it back. Or change the locks.”
I saw that jaw tick again. “Asking for it back seems the most logical.”
“I know.” None of this was Chase’s business, but I felt strange about it anyway. Why should I care what he thinks about another man in my house? I could have a reverse harem if I wanted one. “Look, again, I’m really sorry this happened, but I need to go see what he wants, and I can’t let him drive. It’s also probably not the best thing for you to be there when I talk to him. Please understand?”
I felt bad… to an extent. I’d done my part letting Chase know about my past, basically holding up a neon sign with an arrow pointed down that read: Baggage claimed here .
My eyes skimmed his face, trying to decipher it. I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t care what he thought… yet, I did.
His lips were hard on mine and completely unexpected. Fingers twisting in my hair, drawing me in, taking my breath. I tried to fight the building arousal because I knew it couldn’t lead anywhere. Not tonight. “Chase,” I spoke softly into his mouth when he let me come up for air. That only instigated another kiss, his tongue taunting me, making me hate my ex all the more for showing up and keeping that expert mouth away from the rest of my throbbing body.
He broke free, and I wanted to crumble. I so badly did not want him to leave. It was then that I noticed the living room light out. Did Mike go back to sleep? He better not have. I needed an explanation why he was there, and if it wasn’t a damn good one, I’d string him up by his balls.
Chase touched his forehead to mine and stroked my hair. “Just so you know, Jillian, you may not get jealous, but I do.”
I watched Chase leave, and then I braced myself to go back inside and rip Mike a new one. I stormed up the steps, threw open the door, and immediately switched on the light. He wasn’t sleeping at all. He was sitting up straight.
“Thought you said he’s a friend.”
“He is.” My blood started to boil. “Were you spying on me?”
“Friends don’t kiss like that, Jillian.”
He was spying on me, the asshole. That’s why he turned off the light. “Why don’t you just tell me what you’re doing here. And I think it’s time you gave me back that key. You don’t live here anymore, and I can’t have you popping in whenever you feel like it.”
“Little young for you, don’t you think?” I closed my eyes. I did not need this conversation. “What, are you one of those pumas now?”
“God, Mike. It’s cougar. How do you not know that? If you’re going to insult me, at least get it right.”
“It’s not a word I thought I’d ever use, especially not with you.”
I stomped into the kitchen and opened the fridge. If he drank even one of my beers, I’d lose it. All six were still there, but when I eyed my vodka sitting on the counter, he’d definitely tapped into that. I grabbed a bottle and popped it open.
“Once again, why are you here?” I said when I came back into the living room. “You said you’ve been here awhile. Don’t you have patients to see?”
“Not at this hour.”
I snickered. That’s not what he would have said toward the end of our marriage. He had no problem keeping his office open for late appointments then. Fortunately for Candace, Mike was a skilled shoulder surgeon. She’d come in with a torn rotator cuff and left six months later with a shiny new muscle in the form of Mike’s dick.
“Something funny?” he asked.
“Nope.” There was nothing even remotely humorous about any of this. And I had to remind myself there was no evidence that he cheated on me, so I couldn’t be a bitch about it. But I had every right to be one about other things. I plopped on the opposite couch. “Dammit, Mike. You can’t just show up uninvited whenever you want. How’d you feel if I did that to you?”
I was ready to lay into him, but his entire demeanor changed, and he slumped back down. “I know. I won’t do it again, I promise. And you’ll get your key back.”
“Mike, why are you here?” I asked in a softer voice.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I think Candace might be screwing around on me.”
I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing. Now that was funny. I took a lengthy swig. Damn, his long face sucked all the joy out of it, though. I wanted to gloat, throw ‘what goes around, comes around’ back at him—even though I had no proof—but I wasn’t cruel.
“Why do you think that?”
“Well, what I should have said is that I’m worried she’s going to.”
I swung my head back, banging it against the wall. “That’s hardly the same thing.” He crashed my orgasmfest for that? Because he’s insecure and paranoid?
“It’s just that… I don’t know what to do, Jillian.” He raked his hands through his hair. “She’s pressuring me hard to get married, wants to start a family before it’s too late. If I don’t give her what she wants, what if she goes elsewhere?”
“The family thing is understandable, Mike.” I estimated her to be around my age, maybe a little older. It was hard to tell from her face because her lips got in the way. Be nice, Perry . But regardless, her eggs were ticking down. “And as far as marriage goes, it has been… uh, over a year.” Or more.
“I know all that, but I’m not ready for any of it. I don’t think I even want to start over again.”
“So, tell her that.”
He shook his head. “And I have a feeling that Daniel doesn’t like her too much, but he probably wouldn’t like anyone who isn’t you.”
I knew he didn’t, but I didn’t mention that. It wasn’t my style to kick a man when he was down. “You have to tell her how you feel, Mike. Don’t string her along just because you’re worried she’ll find someone else. That’s not right.”
“I don’t know why things can’t just stay the same. I let her move in with me. Isn’t that enough?”
“Apparently not. And she’s the one you should be asking these questions to.” Headlights sliced through the room when a car passed the house, making me think of the cherry red one in my driveway. “Is that her car you have tonight?”
He nodded. “Mine’s in the shop.”
“Where does she think you are?”
“At a friend’s.”
“Probably not the best to lie, don’t you think?” For both our sakes. I didn’t know Candace too well. What if she was a raving psychopath? Combine that with a scorned woman and you might as well start looking for a bodyguard right away, long before the dead bunnies started showing up on the front porch.
“That’s not a lie. Are we not friends, Jillian? Well, maybe not your definition of a friend….”
And here we go again. “We are not talking about this, Mike. Chase is none of your concern.”
“I disagree. He is because of Daniel.” I opened my mouth, but Mike cut me off before I could speak. “They’re the same age, Jillian. The same age . How would that look to Daniel? You have to think of him.”
I thrust my body forward and waved my bottle around. I wanted to thrash him upside the head with it. “Don’t you dare, Mike. You have no right to ever say I’m not thinking of our son. That’s all I’ve ever done. I raised that boy while you were gone all the time. I was more a part of his life than you were. So, don’t you dare.”
“I was going through residency, building my practice. I was working, Jillian. It’s not like I was cavorting around town.”
“You think I don’t know that? But to have the gall to say I need to think of him?” God, I was going to burst a vessel soon. I was so angry my eyes were crossing.
Mike raised and lowered his hands as if to tell me to calm down. I shot him death glares for it. “I’m sorry, I am. That all came out wrong,” he said quietly. “I couldn’t have done any of it without you, Jillian. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for Daniel. No matter what, I’ll always love you for that.”
I felt myself deflate a bit, then drained the rest of my bottle. Everything was so fucked up. How could I be so attracted to Chase? What was wrong with me?
“I get it. I really do. It’s nice to have a distraction, and I know how much you miss Daniel.”
“That is not—”
“Please. I’m not attacking you. I promise.”
I crossed my arms. Why bother defending myself when he’d probably just cut me off again? Daniel was not the reason I liked Chase. Perry and I already went over that with the milk and cookie test. I did not want to mother him. I did not want to tuck him in at night and sing him lullabies. I did not want to change his diapers. I liked Chase for one reason and one reason only: Sex. Lots and lots of hard-pumping, breath-taking, toe-curling, slam-you-on-your-back-and-make-you-scream sex.
“It’s just that I care,” he continued. “I don’t want you to get in too deep. You know whatever you’re doing can’t last. It’s not long-term, and if you forget that, you might get hurt.”
“I’m going to bed.” I stood up and smoothed down my hair. “You can sleep it off on the couch. After that, I’d like you to leave.” I headed down the hall toward my room.
“Jillian—”
“Goodnight, Mike.”
I awoke to the sound of a car door slamming. I checked the time: 1:30 a.m. Rolling over, I watched the lights magnify through my window as Mike pulled out of the driveway. I was suddenly wide awake; it’d probably take me another good hour to fall back asleep.
The middle of the night was the worst for racing thoughts. They had nowhere to go except Crazytown. I couldn’t stop replaying all the events over the last three weeks. I met a guy who made me feel things I’d never felt, and he was all wrong.
Mike was right, and I knew that even during the time he was pissing me off so badly. I flipped to my back and stared at the ceiling. Chase and I weren’t meant to last long, and I didn’t want that anyway. I did need to consider what Daniel thought, although that went without saying. As far as getting hurt when it was all over, that would only happen if I cared. No problem there. Sure, I’d feel an emptiness between my legs, but when it came down to it, there were other cocks on the block.
Ding . My body jerked at the sound, and I scrambled for my cell. Another thing that wasn’t compatible with the middle of the night: phone calls. They always made me panic.
Fortunately, it was a text, so I didn’t sweat too hard, but there were multiple ways of delivering bad news. I grabbed my phone and peeked through one eye, as if that would soften the blow.
Chase?
Can’t sleep. Taking a chance that you can’t either.
I smiled, then scolded myself for the warm, fuzzy feelings. Did I get struck by a rock in the past thirty seconds? I needed to get back to my previous mindset.
I’m awake.
Are you alone?
Man, did he think I was a total sleaze? I had every right to sleep with dozens of other men if I wanted to, but still….
I’ll answer that just as soon as I kick these two guys out of my bed. My hands are a little full.
Jesus, Jillian. I only meant if you were still talking to your ex. Not if you had someone in bed with you.
Okay, maybe I jumped the gun on that one. I tapped the phone on my chin. Ding .
And that was NOT funny.
Sorry.
Just don’t say shit like that again, okay?
I didn’t owe him an explanation, but I wanted to reassure him that I wasn’t going to be collecting diseases like pennies off the street and dropping them in his cup.
Okay. But just so you’re clear, for as long as we’re having sex, I’ll only be having sex with you. That’s how I roll, so no worries there.
So it’s just sex?
Of course , I replied . And speaking of… Thank you for dinner, but I can’t do it again. I tried it your way, but it didn’t work for me. There’s no reason for a purely physical relationship to ever leave the house.
It was as to the point as I could make it. If he wanted to continue sleeping together, I’d be there with bells on. If he wanted more, I was fine with ending it right now. He took so long to respond I thought he’d fallen asleep. I was just dozing off myself when… Ding.
Okay, Wild Horses. We’ll play it your way.