Chapter 10
Kat
I spend the rest of the afternoon staring out my new window, waiting and hoping to catch a glimpse of Crane or Brom. I’m on the first floor, which makes it easy for me to sneak out my window at a later hour, but I don’t think I’m allowed to wander over to their dorms as it is.
After my mother told me I was ripe for the picking, which she then clarified by saying I was ready for my magic to be fully useful—something that seemed to please her to no end—I let her usher me into the dorm to set up my room.
There was no chance for me to talk to Famke about what I really wanted to (mainly, if she knew who or what on earth Goruun was).
My mother watched me the whole time. It’s like her eyes were drinking me in and by the time they finally left, I felt completely drained, as if she’d taken back whatever energy Crane had given to me.
It couldn’t have been my imagination that she seemed brighter and stronger than earlier.
Finally they left and while I was sad to see Famke go, I felt nothing but relief the minute my mother left me alone in my new bedroom.
There had been no more talk of tea but she did say she wanted Brom and me to come for dinner next weekend.
I said I would depending on the weather but she gave me a look that told me she wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
Well, she would have to come and drag me there.
Now that I’m back into my regular clothes and there isn’t much more to do, I need to find Crane and Brom. But out there in the halls I can hear my fellow students laughing and chatting and I suddenly feel lonely.
This isn’t the time to make friends, I remind myself, trying to feel stronger. Your focus is Brom and Crane and that’s it right now.
Finally, when the drizzle that had started earlier seems to let up, I gather up Ms. Peek’s clothes and boots, planning to go to the faculty dorm and give them to her. That way I can quickly swing by the men’s wing and see if Crane is there.
The hall is empty of students when I step out and lock my door, slipping the key into one of my tiny pockets on the bodice where I keep my button hook.
I exit the building through the main doors and into the cold air.
The sun is still up somewhere but the fog and clouds have swallowed up almost all light, plunging the campus into a hazy darkness.
It’s strangely still and quiet, only the faint dripping from the eaves and onto the cobblestone, and for one terrifying moment I feel like I’m the only person left in the world.
Like this is all there is left, just me, the stillness.
And something dark and sinister that lurks in the shadows.
Something that wants to eat me.
Then a breeze ruffles my hair and I hear the call of crows as a flock of them take flight from the trees, and everything seems normal again.
A violent shiver rocks through me and I hurry over to the faculty dorm, careful not to slip on the slick path, and then head up the stairs to the mezzanine.
I think about going to Ms. Peek’s first to drop off her clothes, but I’m pulled toward the men’s wing, the need to see Crane too strong to ignore.
I turn the corner of the hall and then come to a stop when I find Sister Sophie standing outside his door, as if she just knocked and is waiting for him to answer.
Her head swivels toward me. “Katrina?” she asks, sounding surprised and yet uneasy at the same time, as if I caught her doing something wrong. Then she squares her shoulders and walks toward me, chin raised, that haughty coldness that all the sisters seem to share corrupting her eyes.
“What are you doing here?” she asks suspiciously.
“I was returning some clothes to Ms. Peek,” I tell her, raising the items. “Were you seeing Professor Crane?”
Her eyes flick over me. “Yes,” she says after a moment. “I had something I wanted to discuss with him. And you were only going to see Ms. Peek?” She raises a thin brow. Even with her hood down, she still seems shrouded by shadows.
“I sensed someone was down here,” I lie. “I was curious.”
Her lips wrinkle. “You and the professor are very much alike, aren’t you? Always so curious.”
“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing.”
“It can be,” she says, her eyes narrowing slightly.
“Katrina, I know the two of us don’t talk very often, so while you’re here, let me offer you a word of advice.
” She leans in closer to me and in her pupils I see strange pinpricks of light, the scent of sulfur filling my nose.
“Don’t make trouble for yourself. You won’t be able to handle the repercussions. ”
I stare at her, dread filling my chest. “What do you mean?”
“You’re meant to be with Brom,” she says, her voice lowering. “They brought him back for you.”
“But why? Why him? Why did everyone decide this when I was born? What do you get out of it?”
She looks away for a moment, as if listening to something I can’t hear, before returning her steady gaze back to mine. “Did you know your mother was never supposed to marry your father?”
“Actually,” I say, finally knowing something, “my mother said something akin to that. That none of her sisters approved of her marriage to my father.”
“That’s right. They didn’t. Neither did I.” She pauses, wiggling her jaw. “You know I am not related to you, Katrina, but I am related to Brom.”
My mouth drops. This is news to me.
“How?” I ask.
She ignores me. “And your mother was supposed to marry Liam Van Brunt,” she adds.
“My mother was supposed to marry Brom’s father?”
What on earth?
Sister Sophie gives me a tight smile. “But she didn’t, did she? She chose your father instead.”
“Because she fell in love with him,” I say feebly.
She lets out an acidic laugh. “She never loved your father. Oh, you are such a na?ve girl, Katrina, even after all you’ve been through. To think either of our families have anything to do with love.”
A sinking feeling creeps through me and I press Ms. Peek’s clothes to my chest. “Why are you telling me all of this?”
“Consider it a warning,” she says gravely.
“But what if I don’t marry Brom? What if…”
What if I marry Crane instead?
But I don’t dare say it.
“As I said,” she says, brushing past me.
The contact of her shoulder against mine makes me feel dizzy.
“It would be wise for you not to make trouble for yourself. You have no idea what you’re dealing with here.
Good day, Katrina. If you see Professor Crane, and I’m sure you will, please tell him I was looking for him. ”
She walks off down the hall, her cloak rustling behind her as she goes.
I stand there for a few moments, feeling absolutely dumbfounded by what she said. I want to run after her and demand she tell me more, but I have a feeling that whatever she just told me, she wasn’t supposed to.
So why tell me at all?
I mull it all over as I go over to Ms. Peek’s hall and knock on her door.
“Katrina,” Ms. Peek says as she opens it. “Oh, I’m sorry. You prefer Kat, don’t you?”
“Thank you, Narae,” I say to her with a grateful nod, handing her the clothes. “I really appreciate your generosity.”
“It was my pleasure,” she says, taking the clothes from me. She reaches out and touches the top of my forehead, causing me to flinch.
I smile awkwardly. “Sorry.”
“Your wound is all healed,” she marvels, taking her hand away. “You went to the nurse?”
“I got someone to heal me,” I tell her.
“They did a marvelous job,” she muses. Then she opens the door wider. “Here, why don’t you come inside? We can have a chat. Get to know each other a little better.” She gives me a sly smile. “I’ll let you try a cigarette.”
Even though it sounds really lovely to sit with her and watch her smoke cigarettes and talk about her travels and her life, my mind can’t sit still.
“I have to go, but I would love to visit with you another time,” I tell her.
“Of course,” she says. “I’ll see you in class. Take care of yourself, all right?”
I promise I will and as she shuts the door, I hear heavy steps down at the mezzanine and my skin prickles with goose bumps at the sound of his distinctive gait.
I hurry around the corner to see Crane striding toward his wing.
“Crane!” I whisper as loud as I can, and as he turns I start running toward him.
At first his face lights up when he sees me, like he has candles within him, but the closer I get something inside him shifts, an awareness, and he’s taking a step back from me. Perhaps I am being a little too bold in my approach.
“Kat,” he says, my name sounding caught in his throat. He reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze before quickly dropping it. “I don’t think you should be here.”
“Why not?” I ask. “I need to talk to you.”
It’s then that I notice his face looks a little beat up, a bruise at his jaw and his cheekbone. “What happened to you, are you okay?”
I reach up to touch him but he moves his face out of the way.
“Clearly I’m fine,” he says, giving me a quick smile. “Just a little scuffle with Brom, nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Is Brom okay?”
“He’s more than fine,” he says with a private smile.
“Well, I still need to talk to you.”
He looks around him, even though the hall is empty. “And I need to talk to you but now is not the time.” He pauses. “At the moment, for now, I can’t be seen with you.”
It feels like he’s kicked me in the ribs and my breath hitches. “Why not?”
“Because I’ll get fired if I’m with you, Kat,” he says, and the admission stuns me. “And while I’m prepared to lose my job for you, just…I need time to figure this out.”
“Fired? What happened?” Oh God. “Do you not want to be with me anymore?”
I hate how pathetic I sound, how quickly my lip pouts, how the tears rush to my eyes without warning.
“Oh, heavens, my vlinder,” he says, his expression crumbling as he cups my face in his warm hands, a single tear rolling down my cheek.
He stares down at me with burning intensity that I feel in my toes.
“I want to be with you every single moment of every day. You’re all I think about, all I dream about, all I want, and I promise you, I promise you, nothing is going to stand in the way of that.
Everything I am doing, I am doing for you, Kat. I’m doing it for us.”
He slowly runs his thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tear as his eyes trail over my face. “But for now, we need to meet in secret. Just like before. We were getting careless and now we can’t afford to be.”
I feel slightly more assured, enough to let out a deep breath. “Who told you they would fire you?”
“Your aunt Leona.”
“Really? Because I just saw Sister Sophie here. She was knocking on your door. Wanted to talk to you about something.”
He sighs, letting go of my face, and it feels so cold without his contact. He runs a hand through his hair. “She probably wanted to tell me the same thing that Leona did.”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t think so. She knew I was going to see you and she didn’t seem to care. But she did tell me I needed to be careful or I would face repercussions.”
“And that’s what I’m talking about,” he says in gruff annoyance.
“Then she told me that she’s a Van Brunt.”
Crane does a double take. “Come again?”
I’m nodding. “Sister Sophie is related to Brom. She wouldn’t say how. Which, I suppose, means that Sister Margaret is too. And she said that my mother was supposed to marry Brom’s father, Liam, but obviously that never happened. And now I’m supposed to marry Brom because…because…”
“Because Goruun said so,” he says.
“I didn’t get that far,” I say warily.
“But I did.” He gives his head a shake and then looks off with a pained expression. “We need to talk. But not here. Not tonight when I know they’ll be watching closely.”
“So then you’re going to leave Brom on his own tonight?”
“No. He’ll be with me. They never said I had to stay away from Brom, only you, and if they make me explain why I have Brom chained up in my room, then I’ll be quick to tell them it’s either that or he’s going to be unleashing the headless horseman on campus.”
“Chains?”
He looks chagrined as he brushes a strand of his hair behind his ear. “The custodian lent me some.”
Why does the idea of Brom in chains make my core grow hot?
“So what am I supposed to do?” I say, trying not to whine but failing, hating how powerless I feel. I’m seconds away from stomping my foot like a child. “You can’t just leave me.”
“My, you’re stunning when you’re being a brat,” Crane muses.
“A brat?” I repeat in shock.
He grins at me. “Yes. Impatient and petulant. Not used to it when things don’t go your way.”
I glare at him. “I don’t think I deserve that.”
“You deserve my ruler on your pretty pink cunt, that’s what you deserve,” he murmurs, his eyes darkening. “Swatting you until you come so hard you’re spraying me with it.”
Heat floods through me, flaming my cheeks and gathering between my legs. “You’re not being fair,” I manage to say.
“I never said I was a fair man, did I?” he says, clearly enjoying this. “Not to worry, darling, it’s just for tonight. Tomorrow morning come meet me in the library. Nine o’clock. It should be quiet then and there’s no rules about a teacher tutoring his student in public.”
“Will Brom be there too?”
“If he wants to be,” he says begrudgingly. Then he leans in, placing a fast kiss on my forehead. “I’ll see you then. In the meantime, try to make some friends.”
He turns and walks off toward his door. “Oh, and,” he says over his shoulder, giving me a cold smile, “stay away from Brom.”