Chapter 11
VANNA
T he early morning sun has barely risen above the tree line, casting elongated shadows of the bordering forest across our dewy front lawn.
There’s a refreshing chill in the air, and the smell of autumn brings a smile to my face as I take in a deep breath.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I listen to the chirping calls of songbirds surrounding our happy home.
“ M orning, doll,” Dean says from the Adirondack chair on the front porch beside me. Wet grass clippings cake the bottom of his boots, which rest on the railing while he leisurely surveys the property, an empty coffee mug in his lap.
“I see you’ve been up and about already,” I say, stepping closer to run my fingers through the top of his hair.
“Opened the farmstand. Fed the chickens.”
“Have you brought fresh eggs in for breakfast?”
“No. I was waiting for Ace. He likes to help.”
We both smile. “It’s only a little after seven. He’s probably going to sleep another forty minutes…” I lean into my husband a little more, biting my bottom lip.
Dean grins, placing his coffee mug on the small table to his right while removing his boots from the railing and planting both on the porch before him. He snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me down into his lap, his other hand already traveling up my leg beneath the robe.
“Here?” I quietly laugh. “ It’s chilly out.”
“ I’ll warm you,” he growls, undeterred, gripping my thigh. His other strong hand moves to the nape of my neck, pulling me to his lips. I’m relieved the tension from last night’s conversation over Legion’s eventual return seems to have alleviated a bit.
We make out for a few moments before I teasingly whisper against his lips, “ Mmmm , coffee kisses…”
“What did you have in mind for the next forty minutes?” he teases back.
“What do you think about trying for another?”
“Huh?” He tenses.
“A little brother or sister for Ace? He’s already three. I don’t want there to be a significant age gap between our kids.”
“ Kids…”
“Yes. Plus, neither of us is getting any younger, dear. You’ve got another birthday coming up soon.”
Dean shifts beneath me, as if suddenly uncomfortable. His gaze leaves mine to stare out at the property again.
“What is it?”
“Vanna… Ace was a–”
“ Miracle , I know…but we could start trying ,” I gently urge. “If it happens, it happens. If not…”
“Ace was a miracle for more than one reason, Vanna. It’s a miracle you both lived through his delivery.” Dean finally looks at me. His stern expression conveys that I have my work cut out for me. “I am not eager to repeat that experience.”
“Dean…the chances of that happening again–”
“Vanna… No.”
“ No?” I wasn’t expecting a flat-out no.
“No.” He removes his hand from my thigh. “Let me up. I have to get a few things done around here before I head to work.”
“You were just about to spend the next forty minutes with me before Ace wakes up,” I say, standing. Dean rises, grabs the coffee mug, and then hands it to me. “What is happening here?”
“I thought we had an understanding.”
“That we would never try to have any more kids? When did I agree to that?”
“That went without saying, Vanna… You both almost died . You got back on birth control all on your own. I was relieved we never had to have that conversation… Are you still on it?”
“Yes. I have an appointment this week for another shot…but… I only got on a contraceptive because I didn’t want to get pregnant right away , not because I didn’t want any more children ever.”
“We have Ace. Ace is all we need. Ace is perfect.”
“I’m not debating that… Ace is everything…”
“ Then let him be everything , Vanna.” His stern expression softens as I’m unable to find the words to respond.
Dean gently slips his arm around my waist and pulls me against him, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I love you,” he tells me, before he breaks away.
“ D id you catch the news this morning?” Viking asks from behind the punching bag that he’s bracing for me.
“Was a little preoccupied,” I grunt between strikes. “Just want to get a quick session in before I head over to the shop.”
“Well, another meth lab exploded. Wasn’t us. Wasn’t the Jokers MC, either. I asked. Slice still wants to arrange a meetup, though.”
I slam my fists into the bag a few more times. “You saying you think it was him ?”
“Are we not saying his name?” Viking chuckles. “ Afraid to speak of the devil or something?”
“I ain’t afraid of shit.”
“Anyway, the thought crossed my mind. After everything you told me that he said that night before he disappeared, maybe he’s trying to make amends? Maybe this is his way of not showing up empty-handed , if you know what I mean. He had to know there would be a mess left behind for us to deal with.”
“ That’s a fucking understatement .”
The wake of Legion’s misguided revenge ride left not only my bar in shambles, financial and otherwise, but our county and the surrounding ones where he’d set up multiple operations with different gangs.
The Asphalt Knights MC was another of his casualties.
Unable to survive the internal damage Legion created by corrupting key members, they dispersed shortly after everything went down.
Repairing the damage has been a long and slow process. Though, to the best of our knowledge, we have managed to lock down our own county once again. Despite that, our image in the community hasn’t fully recovered, and it’s hurting my businesses.
The thought of our tarnished reputation among our civilians drives me to hit the bag harder until Viking insists on a break.
I grab my water bottle and take a seat on the bench, chugging a few gulps.
“Something else is on your mind. Talk to me,” Viking presses.
“I know I made promises that I wouldn’t fight anymore…
at least, not like I used to…but damn… It’s been three years, and I haven’t bounced back.
I had to let the girls at the farmstand go.
After Snowy, having to let his granddaughter go…
That gutted me to have to do. I’ve cut Derek’s hours at the shop…
Getting back in the circuits could really help. ”
“Are you falling behind on bills, bro?”
“It hasn’t become that dire yet. I’ve just been taking extra precautions. If it comes to that, I have some assets I can liquidate. There’s land I can sell off, bikes… I have a guy interested in my old Harley Heritage. Just waiting on him to get back to me about seeing her.”
“You know you can come to me, bro, right?”
The aching sensation in my muscles after this workout has nothing on the burning shame coursing through my veins like acid. “I appreciate that, Viking…but…”
“But you’re a stubborn asshole, and you won’t. This fallout isn’t your fault, Dean. We both know who’s to blame.”
Fuckin’ Legion… Still.
“I’m supposed to be the provider for my family.
I’m supposed to keep them happy. Supposed to send my kid to college.
I’m keeping our heads above water, food on the table, but I haven’t been able to contribute anything significant to savings for Ace’s education.
At least preschool is still a year away. ”
And to make matters worse, now Vanna wants another kid…
The way her eyes lit up when she started talking about it this morning, and I just shut her down.
I feel like the worst kind of man for not sharing in her excitement.
For not wanting the same thing for our family… Even if I could pull that off again…
No… Fuck no … Not after what we went through. Aside from the fact that our financial situation could be better, life within our little circle is fucking perfect just the way it is.
“I get wanting to pummel O’Keefe, but you don’t really want to get back in the ring on a regular basis again, do you? I mean, you’re over the hill now , bro. About to be another year older, too.”
I can’t help shooting him a resentful glare. “I’m in the best shape of my life. I’d make a literal killing.”
“You are looking good, bro. Have you considered selling some shots for calendars? Maybe even some Fabio-type shit?”
“What?” He can’t be serious.
“You know, pose for some romance book covers bitches can beat their beans to. Those veins in your arms and hands will drive ‘em crazy.”
“I’m gonna pretend those words never fell out of your mouth.”
“Have the patch chasers rub you down in baby oil, and you can flex on Serene or some shit.”
“Jesus fuck, that was even worse. Please stop .”
“Hey, there’s no shame in that game, bro. Chicks dig a silver fox,” he continues, busting my balls in true Viking fashion.
“Alright, I’m done here.” I step away from him and discard my gloves in the locker. “And I’m not that silver yet. A couple of greys here and there does not constitute Silver Fox status . Fuck off.”
“Alright, in all seriousness then. We’re family. I’m basically Ace’s Godfather. If that kid ever needs anything , you’d better let me know.”
Although I know he means it, I dread ever being in a position where I’d have to consider his offer.
“ In other news ,” I say, eager to change the subject. “We’ve got to write the check to Medusa’s Gates for the fundraiser rally last week. Hopefully, they aren’t disappointed with what we pulled in.”
“Yeah, I’m sure they’re gonna be beside themselves when they’re on the receiving end of thirty-five grand, tax-free,” Viking rolls his eyes.
“Before the shooting, we pulled in fifty grand that year. We haven’t come close since. I’m not going to be happy if this declining trend in everything we’ve got our hands in continues.”
“Dean, I spoke with Cherry and Diesel… Numbers are better this quarter with the Twisted Throttle, and Stogies has remained a steady stream of income. It survived the hit. Our image in the community is improving, bro. It just takes a little time. We’ve already cleaned up Legion’s mess in our county these last three years.
It’s locked down tight. The community knows it. ”