Chapter Nine
Rouge
My heart pounded in my chest when Leland cupped my chin with a soapy hand and tipped it up.
“I would like that very much, sugar.” He lowered his mouth to mine and pressed his lips against my own. His beard tickled my skin and heat rushed to my face. His tongue traced my lips and I jerked back.
I grabbed the sides of the tub and squeezed. “Wait. I just… hold on.”
He raised his hands slowly. “It’s okay, baby. Take a deep breath for me.”
I did as he commanded.
“Good girl, nice and slow.”
It took a bit before I calmed. “I’m sorry.”
He rubbed my leg through the cooling water. “No, baby, I’m sorry. I should have asked how much kissing you were okay with.”
“I liked it, I just got a little angry.” I shook my head. “No, not angry. Nervous.”
“I’m so proud of you for recognizing that it wasn’t anger and for asking for a moment. You did so well.”
“Could.. Could we try again?”
“Try kissing again?”
“Yes, that was my first one with someone I w-wanted to be with.”
“Sugar, I’m so sorry you had such a hard beginning, but I promise every day from here on out will be better than the last.” He cupped my chin again and I leaned in. His mouth pressed against mine and this time I was the one who initiated the deeper kiss. He let me lead and freely explore his mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and I decided it was my new favorite flavor. Only once I started to shiver did he break away.
“Thank you, baby. That was beautiful.”
I blushed and looked away.
He chuckled and added some more hot water to the tub. “Let’s get you clean and some pancakes in your belly.”
***
“These are so yummy,” I said after taking another bite from Leland.
“They smell yummy,” he agreed.
“Do you want a bite, Daddy?”
Smiling, he shook his head. “No thank you, sugar. You can have them all in your belly.” He held the pink plastic fork to my mouth again.
“Do you eat carbs?” I asked after swallowing that bite too. He didn’t look like he’d ever eaten a carb in his life even though I knew he did. All those donuts had to have carbs.
He laughed. “I do. I love carbs. I don’t love pancakes.”
I gasped. “Emily and I lived on pancakes when we lived in our first apartment. A bag of flour was $2.47 and a bottle of syrup was ninety-nine cents.. We could eat off of it for five days. Emily won’t touch them now, but I still love them.” I gasped again—this time less dramatically. “Leland, I didn’t call Emily!”
His eyes widened too and he pushed his chair back. “I’ll grab your phone, sugar.”
He hadn’t even made it all the way down the hall before someone pounded on the front door.
“Leland Lucas West, you better open this door or so help me…” my sister threatened.
“Oh no,” I mumbled.
“Oh no,” Leland agreed.
He walked over and opened the front door to be met with my tiny twin sister.
“Leland!” she yelled.
“I’m so sorry,” Leland said, sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his neck.
Suddenly watching my sister size him up was funny and I giggled. Then I gasped in pain. Emily and her Daddy, Onyx pushed by him and rushed to where I was sitting.
“Oh, honey. Are you okay? We went by to drop off goodies for you and you weren’t at work. Blade filled us in on everything,” Onyx explained.
“Everything?” I asked nervously.
“Emily sat at my feet and took my hands. “Are you okay? Are you hurt really badly? Why didn’t you call?” she asked before bursting into tears. “I was so scared.”
I felt the creepy-crawly legs of anger climb up my back. My body went hot. Everything was too loud. My head suddenly hurt and there was a lump in my throat. I pushed my chair back and stepped back from Emily, ignoring the pain in my stomach and ribs. “Stop crying. All you do is fucking cry,” I yelled.
I smelled Leland before I heard his gravelly voice. He stood behind me and gently pressed his body to mine.
“Take a breath, sugar.”
Tears still rolled down Emily’s face. Onyx looked confused, probably at my harsh words. Even on my maddest days, I never yelled at Emily. I was so very angry with her, though. She was always so scared. Always crying. Why couldn’t she just grow up? I’d had to carry all the weight when we’d escaped. I’d had to hold her every time she’d had a nightmare. She hadn’t even been through the worst things inside the cult. Did she know when we’d fled the last time my life was on the line? They promised they’d kill me if I ever tried to escape again, but I’d to try—had to save Emily.
Poor Emily. It was never poor Rouge.
“Take a breath for Daddy, sugar,” Leland whispered into my ear.
I did.
“Good girl. You’re such a good girl,” he praised. “You can do this. You don’t have to react in anger, baby.”
“I’m sorry, Emily. I love you very much, I am just having some hard feelings right now. I am okay. I was attacked last night. I have some bruises, but Leland is taking good care of me. He’s my Daddy now. I-I’m a Little. Do you think we could talk when I’m feeling better, please?” My body shook with anger and my tone was still sharp, but I was so proud of myself. I didn’t stomp off or shut down. I really was going to get through this.
***
Leland
I was so fucking proud of Rouge. She’d used her words to ask for a break. No screaming, no storming off, just growth.
“We will absolutely give you a break, Rouge. Thank you for telling us what you needed. How about you call us when you’re feeling up to chatting, okay?” Onyx asked. From what I had heard, he’d been on the receiving end of her temper a few times himself.
Rouge looked back at me and I nodded, thankful she was seeking me out for advice.
I walked the couple out, promised I’d keep them updated, and then headed back to my babygirl.
“I’m so proud of you, sugar.”
“I still said a curse word at Emily.”
Stroking her cheek, I leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
“Yes, but you also told her you were sorry, and said that you needed a break. That is huge progress, Little one.”
She smiled. “It was progress.”
Before I could say anything else, she yawned.
“How about a nice, snuggly nap?” I asked her.
“I am really tired.”
“Your body is healing. It needs the rest. Do you want to finish your pancakes before your nap?”
“No, my tummy is so full.”
She’d eaten most of what I’d put on her plate and I was satisfied with the amount.
“Okay, baby, let’s get you back to bed.” I started guiding her back to the bathroom.
“Will you take a nap with me?”
Her sweet request melted my heart. “Of course I will. I need to get you some more pain medication first, though, okay? After I get you snuggled in, I’ll fix you some juice and grab your meds.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I raised an eyebrow at her answer and she grinned. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Much better. I think I’m going to make you call me Daddy all the time.”
“All the time?”
“Yes, even at work. I think Mr. Boss Daddy has a great ring to it.”
“Okay, Mr. Boss Daddy.”
Chuckling, I ruffled her dark hair. “Sassy Pants.”
“Daddy, I don’t even have on pants.”
“I think I am going to have my hands full with you, huh, sugar?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
***
Waking up from the best sleep of your life while holding the hand of a Little one had to be one of the best feelings in the world.
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Hi, beautiful. How long have you been awake?”
“Um, two episodes of Law and Order,” she said, holding her phone out for me to see.
“You should have woken me up, sugar.”
“Daddy, you were so tired. I wanted you to get some sleep. You were snoring so loud.”
“I do not snore, sassy pants.”
“I still don’t have any pants on, Daddy.”
“You make me so damn happy, Rouge.”
“You make me happy too, Leland. The last few days have felt like a fairytale. I never thought I would really have a happy-ever-after, but with you, I feel like I do.”
“Rouge, if anyone deserves a happy ending, it’s you.”
“I’m not naive. I don’t believe everything will be all sunshine and roses. I have a lot of trauma and things to work through, but I know now I have the support system to do it. It feels so freeing to know I have a future and don’t have to live in the cycle of defeat.”
Her words brought tears to my eyes. “Sugar, did you not feel like you had a future before? After all you went through, it was your anger that you thought kept you from having the life you deserve.”
“Daddy, don’t be sad.”
“It just breaks my heart you were carrying all that weight and we didn’t know. And you didn’t know. You didn’t know just how loved you were.”
“Well, now I do know, Daddy, and that’s all that matters, right?”
I kissed her mouth gently, so pleased when she opened her lips for me. Running my tongue against hers, I enjoyed the moment. She was right. That’s all that mattered now.