Merrick
*
The soft snuffle from the backseat alleviated some of his concern.
His little owl believed he was too mired in his own pain to recognize hers; she couldn’t be more wrong if she deliberately tried to mask it. He’d spoken to several people over the last few days and received casual reports on how Tamsyn had been during their forced separation.
He wasn’t particularly pleased with what he’d been told.
Disrupted sleep patterns—if she slept at all.
The return of her muteness.
Little to no appetite unless food was physically shoved in her mouth.
Complete refusal to socialize with anyone unless Ford pushed her into it.
After they got home, that was all going to change in a way she wouldn’t easily comprehend. New rules, stricter guidelines, a whole fucking slew of lessons in putting faith in other people besides him. Her circle of friends needed to expand sensibly but rapidly, and it was past time he stopped cloistering her in the cabin to keep her happy.
He loved being alone with her, fucking adored the hours they spent wrapped up in each other by the fire or in bed, but he’d learned how fickle life was, and if anything ever happened to him in the future—God forbid—he wanted to be a thousand percent sure she was prepared on every level to function without him.
“She’s asleep?” he asked in a low voice.
Levi lifted his hand to adjust the rearview mirror, then glanced in it. “That didn’t take long, did it? I figured we had at least twenty minutes before she gave in.”
“The nurses said she was awake every time they came in. They offered to get her a cot but she refused. She got a couple hours here and there when I snuck her into bed with me, but it’s not enough.”
Levi smirked. “Did you interrogate those nice ladies, Merrick? Shame on you.”
“No interrogation needed, all information was supplied voluntarily. They were concerned for her.”
“You could drive a train through the bruising beneath her eyes,” Levi admitted.
“She’ll get a proper night’s sleep tonight. Please tell me Vi isn’t going overboard with her surprise.” At his friend’s soft snigger, Merrick sighed and thunked his head back against the headrest. “Goddamn it.”
“I don’t think you’ll be too displeased with the final result. Problem is, you gave her too much of a headstart, so she’s had a few days to get ideas up, running, and implemented. If you’d dropped it on her this morning, she would’ve cursed you out, but you’d be getting short and sweet like you asked.”
Merrick laughed, resisting the urge to press his hand to the wound throbbing in his belly. “Of course it’s my fault for being considerate. Next time, I’ll be sure to be a complete and utter asshole.”
“Like there’ll be a next time.” Indicating for a right turn, Levi spun the wheel with one hand, skipping through a set of lights on yellow. “We’ve all seen the way you look at her, Merrick; this is inevitable and a one-time-only deal. Everybody thinks I hide away in my studio and miss all the action, but I’ll let you in on a secret.”
“I’m riveted.”
“The nights I’m not with clients or working on edits, I sneak into the clubhouse and playrooms for candid shots. A shoot is more open and honest when the subjects don’t know they’re front and center of the lens. Don’t give me that look; there’s a clause in the membership agreement covering my ass, and I need a signed release form from my selected models if I want to use the images for anything but personal use.”
“What a relief.”
Reaching into the inside pocket of the door, Levi produced a small manilla envelope, passing it over with a smug grin. “Consider these an engagement gift. They’re edited, but I can tweak them if you like, and print larger copies of any you want hanging on the wall.”
Slowly, aware that every movement was controlled to some degree by his abdominal muscles, Merrick accepted the envelope and warily thumbed open the flap. His eyebrows emigrated to his hairline as he pulled out almost two dozen photographs, all of him with Tamsyn.
Different places, different times, but each and every one followed the same theme.
Love, pure and simple.
Emotionally intimate moments captured on camera and… oh, physically intimate moments as well, he noted when he flipped through to the last portion of photographs. A kiss, the sweetness of a forehead to forehead connection. A handful focused on the latter end of their flogging scene in the dungeon as though Levi had snuck in just in time to capture Tamsyn’s submission at its peak.
“These are beautiful, Levi.” He stopped, drawing one photo in particular to the front of the pack. His heart swelled with warmth, his veins filling with it as he held up the photo so Levi could see it. “When did you take this one?”
Levi clucked his tongue thoughtfully. “Couple weeks back. I had a spare hour before my clients were due, decided to take a walk. She was just there, leaning on the porch rail, staring down the path as though she could will you into existence.”
The photo was of Tamsyn exactly the way Levi described, her arms crossed on the railing outside the cabin door, her chin resting in the dip they formed. Sunlight caught the edges of her hair, but the focal point of the picture was her eyes.
She looked like a woman consumed by her emotions, waiting for her lover to come home. There was a hint of loneliness commanding her expression, but the love and yearning in the tawny depth of her gaze were the inspiration poets and writers dreamed of finding.
Merrick swallowed hard, fighting the unnatural tightness in his throat when he realized how truly fucking lucky he was to be the recipient of that kind of devotion. How the hell did he deserve it, or her? “I think you hit the jackpot with this one, Levi.”
“Can’t take all the credit. There really isn’t a way to fuck that canvas up when her face is that good. She doesn’t have an internal filter, or at least she doesn’t know how to use it, and she wouldn’t know how to fake emotion that deep.” With his eyes on the road, Levi flicked his fingers at the photo. “Remind me to ask her for a waiver.”
“No. This one’s mine.”
“Consider it a gift then. I can do you some Tamsyn merchandise if you’re going to be one of those obsessive, totally smitten kind of husbands.” Weaving through the traffic, he lifted his shoulder. “T-shirts, mugs, notepads, mousepads—not that you’re a mousepad guy, but it’s an option.”
“Just the photo.” Merrick tried to slip the picture into his pocket, grinding his teeth as the movement did nasty things to his pain receptors. “Thanks.”
“Anytime. That reminds me, while I have your attention, we need to discuss a certain series of photos taken last year. I’m assuming you want the shots with you in them setting to one side?”
Christ, he kept forgetting about those. It was something else he needed to talk with Tamsyn about at some point. Not today, but soon. “For now. If Tamsyn’s okay with them, I’ll sign your waiver.”
“Deal. So, any regrets about tackling an armed moron? Aside from the obvious?”
This was what he liked about the photographer; when he was in the right mood, conversation was effortless and entertaining. He just segued from one topic to another so easily, time skipped in leaps and bounds.
They went from talking about Jedidiah and the extermination of the elders to discussing a new range of restraints Elias was trialing in the club. From there, the subject turned to the Mistresses and whether Ericka and Felicity would make things official or go their own ways in the future.
Merrick was rooting for the official route; they made a cute couple, but Levi was adamant it was more a relationship of convenience. But then, he was extremely jaded when it came to any relationship that wasn’t just a casual fling—finding his wife in bed with her college student had twisted him up, scarring him permanently.
By the time the Jeep cruised to a halt at Serenity, Merrick felt more like himself than he had in days. Enjoyable conversation, the love of his life sleeping peacefully behind him, and his escape from the hospital did wonders to eradicate the underlying, niggling sense of dying he’d been plagued by—it was probably irrational, but a man did have doubts when there was a hole in his gut.
Levi switched off the engine, shifting slightly in his seat to study him. “I get why you want this, Merrick. Are you sure now is the time? Take a few days, find your feet, be damn sure you can stand upright before throwing yourself in at the deep end.”
He understood his friend’s concern, was grateful for it. “Today is the day, Levi. I don’t care if I’m standing or on my knees.”
“Okay then, let’s wake up sleeping beauty and get this show on the road.”
Merrick opened the door before unfastening his seatbelt, awkwardly prying himself out of his seat. His body really wasn’t playing ball, protesting loudly as he unfolded his stiff limbs, using the door as a prop.
“Need a hand?” Evander, all six feet and seven dominating inches of him, loomed on the other side of the door. He grinned when Merrick looked up at him. “Welcome home, hero.”
Fuck, don’t tell him they were going to be riding his ass with the hero bullshit. He was nothing of the sort—he’d done what was necessary to protect his girl, that was all. Maybe, just maybe, there was a slight chance he’d gone a little overboard with his tactics, but he sure as hell didn’t harbor a single regret for killing Jedidiah.
Murder was never something he’d aspired to achieve. It wasn’t in his nature, that kind of violence. When someone he loved was threatened, however… he’d kill that son of a bitch a thousand times over without a shred of remorse.
“Don’t call me that.”
A massive hand patted his shoulder. “Does that mean we need to take down the banner?”
Banner? What fresh hell was this? Glaring at the blond giant with all the power he could muster, Merrick growled, “What banner?”
“The Littles teamed up and made you a banner. They love Tamsyn and think you now walk on water. There was talk of Sierra rehabbing a stuffie in your image, and Callie’s been baking chocolate chip cookies for three days.”
“Chocolate chip?”
“Mmm-hmm. Soft, gooey, and delicious.”
Hmm, he supposed he might be able to overlook the humiliation of a hero banner in favor of cookies. All joking aside, he wasn’t going to rain on the Littles’ parade. They were smart women with big hearts to go along with their childlike personalities, which meant they felt things like rejection on an intricate level. “I’ll be sure to thank them.”
The back door popped open and a sleepy, doe-eyed Tamsyn tumbled out, apparently baffled by their return home if her expression was anything to go by. She looked around blearily, then blushed when she saw Evander. “I-I’m sorry, I fell asleep. I think.” Frowning, she seemed unsure of herself. “Did you do what you needed to do? Did I miss it?”
“No, darlin’, we’re right on schedule.” Relinquishing the door, he closed it and smiled at her, holding out his hand. “I’ve had a lot of time to think, little owl. Everything that happened hasn’t changed my mind about marrying you; in fact, it only cemented that decision. I don’t want to wait for paperwork and all that shit—I want you to be mine, today. Now.”
Her tawny eyes went round and soft. “Now?”
“Now. If that’s what you want, too.” Trying not to double over, he kept his spine straight through sheer strength of will. “Today is just for us, Tamsyn. If you want a big wedding with the dress and the maids of honor, and all the jazz, we can do that in a few months when the legalities are in order. I’ll make it happen. Whatever you want, I’ll make it happen.”
She stared at him, lips slightly parted, her eyes still wide with shock. Her head tilted a little to the left, barely noticeable, before she set her hand unerringly in his and smiled. “I don’t want the dress or the maids, Merrick. I don’t need all the jazz. If today is our day, then all I want is you and our friends. Is that okay?”
Someone, somewhere up high, was looking out for him big time, he thought. He was blessed with her, with the opportunity to be her everything, just as she was his. Despite the fact he still felt weak and off-kilter, he clasped her face in his hands and touched his nose to hers, thrilled by her quiet giggle. “That’s more than okay, little owl. It’s perfect.”
It was, in his opinion. Not that he wouldn’t give her the traditional wedding day every—or nearly every—little girl dreamed of if Tamsyn asked. Right now, however, small and intimate was exactly what the doctor ordered.
“I love you,” she murmured. “Can we get married now?”
“Impatient, are we?” Brushing his lips over hers, feeling them soften and heat, he embraced the next step in their journey with open arms. There were no nervous jitters, no doubts, no random little last minute regrets about kissing goodbye to his single life. “Yeah, we’re getting married now.”
It wasn’t the most elegant wedding procession in the universe—being escorted by his friends to make sure he didn’t fall flat on his face was pretty undignified, but there were worse things in the world to complain about, wasn’t there? He was just grateful to have the kind of friends he could count on, who were family on the deepest level.
With Tamsyn’s fingers curled around his forearm and Evander to his right, Merrick followed Levi’s lead, confused when they stopped beside the photographer’s personal golf cart. It was mainly used for ferrying his clients back and forth to the studio in bad weather.
“We figured you wouldn’t be up for walking far, so your chariot awaits.” With a fanciful wave of his hand, Levi gestured for them to climb aboard. “Violet asked that you be blindfolded, if you don’t mind. Something about preserving the integrity of the surprise.”
“Can I just keep my eyes closed?” Tamsyn asked.
“We’ll both just keep our eyes closed.” Although that was pretty damn risky. He might fall asleep before they reached whatever destination Vi had picked out for a shotgun wedding.
Levi pursed his lips. “Promise?”
“Maybe they should pinky swear it,” Evander suggested with a chuckle.
“I like that idea. Pinky swear it is.” Thrusting his little finger toward Merrick, Levi lifted an impatient eyebrow. “Chop, chop. Time’s a-wastin’.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Heaving a sigh, Merrick hooked his finger around his friend’s, then waited as Tamsyn hesitantly did the same. When the mighty pinky swear was invoked, he urged his little owl to take a seat in the cart. “Have we finished being teenaged girls now?”
Evander gave him some help to squeeze in next to Tamsyn, then crammed himself into the front passenger seat. He was so freakishly tall, he had to lean to the side to fit in. “You’ll feel better after your mani-pedi, Merrick. Ford picked out a pretty shade of blue for your nails.”
Snorting, Levi dropped into the driver’s seat, firing the engine, then declared, “Eyes shut, people. Please keep all limbs and valuables inside the vehicle while it’s moving. The emergency exits are to the left and right, although we don’t advise trying to disembark while in motion. Our estimated travel time is twelve minutes. As always, your driver appreciates a tip.”
The cart took off like a rocket as Merrick hooked his arm around Tamsyn and tugged her close to his uninjured side. He checked she had her eyes closed before shutting his own—a pinky swear was sacred, after all.
He sensed sunlight flashing over his face, enjoying the breeze fluttering around him. It was funny how being incarcerated in a hospital bed refined a man’s appreciation for the tiny details like sunshine and wind, the press of a woman’s body and the scent of her skin. Even the electric whine of the cart seemed to merge perfectly with the whole picture.
Tamsyn’s hand slid over his thigh to find his, linking their fingers together. Her palm was dry and steady, her grip firm. It was a relief to know he wasn’t the only one who felt secure in this decision.
He was getting married.
He was getting fucking married .
In an hour, he wouldn’t just be Merrick Cole, Master and mentor. He would be a husband, a Dom, the provider and protector for his lovely, beautiful, amazing wife .
A grin stretched his mouth. “Drive faster, Levi.”
“Huh?”
“Drive faster.”
“Uh, the path gets rocky, Merrick. Tossing you around—”
“I know where we’re going,” Merrick interrupted. “Don’t worry about me. The pain won’t mean a thing once we get there.”
“Guess you’re the boss today. Sorry, boss,” Levi muttered to Evander. “Might as well see how fast this baby can go.”
“If he starts bleeding, I’m ratting you out,” Evander responded exasperatedly, then whooped when the golf cart picked up speed.
Yes, it hurt. Despite being the off-road version used for rougher terrain, the cart wasn’t really designed for hauling around wounded passengers at speed over bumpy ground, and the quarter-mile track leading from Serenity’s main grounds to Levi’s home and studio was definitely rocky .
Merrick suffered through every bump and bounce with gritted teeth, fisting his hand on his thigh to contain his grunts of pain. Luckily, he didn’t feel anything rip or tear, but it wouldn’t have mattered regardless; someone would patch him up after the ceremony if his body refused to hold up under punishment.
When the interminable ride came to a stop with a crunch of tires on gravel, he was beyond ready to get off the damn party bus and his feet back on solid ground. His side was throbbing in time with his heartbeat, his skin was clammy with sweat, and Tamsyn’s hand was still clutching his like a lifeline.
The latter was all that mattered.
The cart shifted as Levi and Evander exited the vehicle, then Merrick felt a big hand wrap around his upper arm. “Eyes are to remain closed, please, until ordered. Merrick, you’ll follow me. Tamsyn, Levi will escort you. Two minutes and we can get this wedding under way.”
Letting go of her hand did not make him happy in the slightest, and the mirroring squeeze of her fingers around his before they both released each other soothed the ache in his heart. He hated not touching her, even though it wasn’t going to be for long.
Carefully, he shuffled along beside Evander, listening to the big guy as he advised Merrick where to put his feet, to watch his step, that they were heading down a gentle incline. The further they went, the more the air changed around him.
It was still clean and fresh, still wondrously natural, but he sensed… more. It was starting to get cooler, the sun’s rays less heated, and he knew afternoon was quickly fading into evening.
He wished he’d thought to ask Levi to bring a jacket for Tamsyn.
“All right, brother, this is the spot. I’m going to be right behind you, so just give me a sign if you think you’re going down.” Evander patted his shoulder. “Open your eyes when you’re ready.”
“Goddamn it, Vi.” They were the first words out of his mouth as he stared at the place his best friend had chosen for his wedding. Maybe he’d kiss her later for being an utter fucking genius … if his wife didn’t object.
The spectacular view most often seen from Levi’s huge glass windows spread out in front of Merrick like some kind of exquisite painting. Ten feet away, the world dropped away into the valley, exposing a tapestry woven in different shades of green and a blue sky smeared with the onset of dusk. Pinks, purples, hints of gray and orange.
The sun wasn’t quite at the horizon yet; they had a little time before night fell.
“This is beautiful,” Tamsyn whispered reverently, sneaking under his arm. “Mistress Violet did this for us?”
“Actually,” a lyrical Southern accent drawled from behind them, “this is a joint effort from all of us. I know you said small and intimate, Merrick,” Violet added quietly as she stepped up beside them. “We honored that, mostly.”
“Mostly?”
Hobbling slowly in a half-circle with no choice but to tow Tamsyn around with him, Merrick blinked at the faces gathered around them. Granted, there were a lot more than the three—his, Tamsyn’s, and Eli’s—he’d envisioned when planning this supposedly small and intimate event, but looking at them all, he realized they’d all played a part in getting here.
Callie sat with Sierra, flanked on either side by Liam and Mack. Ericka and Felicity hemmed in Tabitha, who didn’t look pleased with her babysitters, while Grit stood to the side in deep conversation with three members of his security team.
Fordham sat alone, which was pretty hard to do when there was one row of chairs. He exuded solitary vibes, yet sent Merrick a wink that was wholly approving.
Yes, all of them had played their parts in what was happening here.
“I think,” he said slowly, turning to meet Violet’s worried eyes, “you nailed it, Vi.”
The Mistress visibly wilted with relief before she slammed her spine back into position. With a sniff, she plucked an imaginary piece of fluff from her sleek midnight blue dress. “Of course I did.”
Tamsyn beamed at her. “It’s wonderful.”
“We wanted it to be perfect for both of you, sweetheart.” Clearing her throat, Violet composed herself and gestured to Elias as he strolled up, looking stern and fierce in an all-black three-piece suit. “Your officiant is here.”
Merrick managed a grin. “Fancy monkey suit, Eli.”
“Yes, well…” Amused blue eyes roamed up and down Merrick’s more… casual attire, then over Tamsyn’s similar fashion. He smirked when she instinctively shifted to take cover behind Merrick. “I thought one of us should at least make an effort to be presentable on such a special occasion.”
“You know, a dog collar would finish the ensemble off just right.”
Unperturbed, Elias shook his head and allowed the smirk to turn into a smile. “It is a relief to have you home, Merrick, and an absolute honor to be the one marrying you two this evening. The Master and the mute,” he mused in that dry British accent. “Will you be all right to stand for a few more minutes?”
It likely wasn’t advisable, but he’d be damned if he was going to marry Tamsyn while sitting on his ass. His friends could pick him up off the floor after the vows and the I do’s were safely in the bag.
“Talk fast,” he suggested.
Eli let out a whistle sharp enough to summon a wolf pack on the opposite side of the valley. “Everyone, take your seats. We are here today to bear witness to the joining of Merrick and Tamsyn as they take on a new adventure. Marriage is not for the faint hearted, nor the weak, and as we’ve discovered in the past couple of weeks, our bride and groom are neither. Before we get to the good stuff, does anyone have any objections?”
Merrick gently manhandled Tamsyn from behind his back, setting her right in front of him so he could capture her hands. A brief glance at their audience showed him that objections were not on anyone’s mind.
“Excellent.” Clasping his hands over his belt buckle, Elias adopted his most serious expression. “Merrick, you wanted to state your vows first?”
“Yes.” Now the moment was here, all the carefully crafted words he’d strung together in his head vanished like a wisp of smoke in a breeze. Still, he met Tamsyn’s shy gaze and discovered he didn’t need a script scrolling through his mind—everything he wanted to say was written on his heart. “The first time I laid eyes on you, I never imagined this is where we’d end up. The truth is, even though I fell in love with your eyes from the get-go, I tried my damnedest not to complicate your life any more than it already was. Fate had other plans and, honestly, standing here in front of you and our friends, I admit those plans are the best thing that have ever happened to me. You’re the best thing, little owl.
“A long time ago, I thought I was in love with someone. I was willing to give her anything and everything she wanted if I only got to call her mine, and she turned me down. I thought she’d broken my heart, ruined me for anyone else, but looking back at that moment and this one…” He shifted his weight slightly and bared his teeth when his side twinged loudly. “She was never meant to be mine, Tamsyn. She was a fork in the path, a shove in the direction I was always meant to go. You are, and always will be, my destination, my home, my universe. I love you, and I promise—here, in front of all these lovely women and the collection of jackasses who will never let me break my word—that I am gonna love, cherish, protect, and guide you until the day I die.”
Violet cleared her throat meaningfully.
“What, too soon?” At the ripple of laughter, Merrick grinned. He lifted a hand to Tamsyn’s cheek, stroking away the wetness trickling down her skin. “Don’t cry, darlin’. I know this seems rushed, and maybe we could’ve waited a few months for all our ducks to align, but I can’t wait. Don’t want to, if I’m honest. Life is too short to hang around for paperwork to finalize and all the other crap. From this moment until our last breath, you are the blood in my veins, the beat in my heart, the reason I exist. I love you, little owl.”
After a subtle pause to see if he was finished, Eli nodded his approval. He gestured for Tamsyn to take the spotlight.
“How am I supposed to compete with that?” she whispered, a little too loudly.
“It’s not a competition, sweetheart.” Eli’s tone was low and gentle. “Vows are whatever you feel compelled to say; there aren’t any standard guidelines. Just tell Merrick how you feel.”
“Oh.” Biting her bottom lip, she squirmed nervously. “I guess I love you doesn’t really sum up how I feel about you. Where I come from, those three words don’t exist between a man and a woman. They’re rarely spoken at all except between a mother and her child, and even then, it’s usually under the cover of darkness. I came from that darkness, Merrick. You saw it in me from the start and yet you didn’t let it sway how you treated me. Even though I was a burden—” She jolted when Fordham growled, paling as she backpedaled. “Um… even though I wasn’t the easiest patient and I couldn’t use my voice, you never lost your temper or your patience. I think I fell in love with you because you were everything I’d ever dreamed of having in a man and I… I knew if my father came to take me home, I would die. I gave you my heart because you were the only man who deserved it, who would protect it even after I was gone, and because… loving you is the greatest thing I’ve ever done.
“Being loved by you is the only thing that compares to it. I’d go through it all again, every second of…” She appeared to remember where they were, who they were with, and cut herself off. “All of it, Merrick. It was all worth it to be standing here with you. For the rest of my life, you will always be the only man who sees me for who I am, who knows me inside out, who loves me despite all my… weird bits.”
Chuckling, he leaned forward to nip her lip. “I do love your weird bits, darlin’.”
“I know. That’s why I’m standing here now, unafraid for once in my life, vowing to be the best wife you could ever wish for. I love you, Merrick, and I’m going to shut up now so the scary sadist can make us official.” Her eyes darted in Elias’s direction.
“Daddy!” Callie called out. “Make them ‘fficial, ‘kay? I wanna see them kiss!”
Running a hand over his face, Eli sighed. “Merrick Cole, do you take Tamsyn Drake to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, from this day forward?”
“I do.”
“And Tamsyn, do you take Merrick to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.” She beamed at him, stunning without a stitch of makeup. “I really do.”
“Then by the powers vested in this scary sadist by The Provenance Center, it is my honor to declare you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride,” Eli added dryly. “Preferably before my wife comes up here and smushes your faces together the same way she makes her stuffies kiss.”
An outraged cry came from the audience. “ Daddy! ”
While laughter rippled around them, Merrick cupped Tamsyn’s face and simply stared at her. There was joy in those beautiful eyes, joy and love. Hope for the future she never believed she’d have.
Wasn’t he just the luckiest bastard in the world, waking up to those eyes every morning for the rest of his life?
“All mine, little owl. Finally, all mine.”
She wrapped her fingers around his wrists. “Mr. Cole.”
“Mrs. Cole.” Fuck yes, he liked the sound of that. Teasing her lips with his, he smiled against her mouth. “Want to smush faces together like stuffies, Mrs. Cole?”
Her laugh, bright and sweet, was all the answer he needed.
*