Interlude 6 Voice Memo
Titch: Sooo I fucked up. Happy British holiday where you burn a guy, by the way.
And also happy belated Halloween. Skyler and I went as Batman and Robin, except he just carried a baseball bat and I dressed as a bird, and before you say anything it was not a couple’s costume because Joseph Ho was Superman, but the Nietzsche version, and his girlfriend Wanda was Wonder Woman, except she was Wanda Woman.
Basically nobody else dressed up, but don’t worry, I definitely didn’t look stupid, because we just ate candy and watched scary movies in my parents’ basement [gaaasp] but that’s not where I fucked up.
Oh no. Remember the whole Skyler’s brother and his girlfriend coming over for Friendsgiving thing?
I let it slip in front of my dad, and he was like “Orh ma gorsh, you guys should have it here! Your mom and I were gonna drive out to the coast and romantically camp under the stars”—’cause my gramma’s on a cruise, don’t worry about it—“but instead we’ll stay here and cook for you and your friends because that’s not weird and embarrassing at alll” and Skyler was like “Oh wow, that’s so generous, we don’t want to impose” and fuckin’ Dad was like “No, no, no, it’s our pleasure, we’re just so glad our ugly stupid weirdo son has friends” as if I haven’t always had, like, a few friends, but whatever.
Anyway. Friendsgiving is now Finchgiving, and it’s all my fault.
I did this. Still dressed as a bird, by the way.
What did you and Lucas dress up as? Was it cutesy?
I bet it was cutesy. Or maybe you didn’t dress up at all because only kids and weirdos do that, apparently. [sigh]
Armand: [thumbs-up]
Titch: Hi, Armand, give Lucas your phone right now, right now! Do it! Come on, Skyler— HAAAppy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Lucas, happy birthday to you! And many mooore—
Skyler: Happy birthday, Lucas! I know we already sang to you, but we hadn’t seen your post yet.
Titch: Yeah, you guys look so cute kissing on the London Bridge, I’m definitely not dying of jealousy inside. All positive feelings toward you both, don’t hate either of you even a little bit.
Skyler: Robin, stop it; it’s actually a really nice way to come out to the internet as Armand’s boyfriend.
Titch: True, true, you’re going to get so much sympathy. Like, happy birthday, Lucas Barclay, whoever you are, sorry about the weird Brit!
Skyler: [laughing] He doesn’t mean it, Armand. We miss you guys.
Titch: [gasp] Don’t tell them that! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUCAS, LOVE YOU, MISS YOU, BYEEE.
Armand: [thumbs-up]