Chapter 5
Cormac
Do I want her? Christ. I haven’t wanted anything this badly since I got clean.
Scarlett sits in my lap, looking at me like I’m some kind of hero. Like I’m safe. That’s the dangerous part. I don’t know what safe is anymore.
But her lips are swollen and shiny from kissing me as she waits for an answer. Do I want her? And there’s no calculation in her eyes. Just heat. Just need.
“I’ve wanted to get you out of the rest of these clothes since I peeled that wet jacket off you,” I admit, because lying would be pointless.
Then I kiss her again, controlling the reckless impulse to devour her. Still, it’s deep enough to narrow my world to the taste and shape of her mouth.
It lights me up in a way I haven’t let myself feel in a long time.
But she just got out of something messy. Tomorrow, it’s all going to hit her. I won’t be around to complicate that.
I can’t do complicated. I can’t do a relationship right now.
Things are just starting to work out for me.
My focus is my son and staying clean. Then clawing my way back into medicine instead of feeding the darker parts of me that still crave destruction.
I don’t want to just kill drug dealers forever.
That only satisfies the demons still whispering to me when it gets too quiet.
This woman is perfect because she doesn’t know who I am. Or who I was, which is more of a burden to live up to. She doesn’t look at me like I’m something broken trying to pass for fixed.
I have no idea how far she’ll let this thing go tonight, but if she needs to get fucked and trusts me to give her what she needs, I’m not leaving.
Right now she just tastes sweet. And I need more.
Soft lips and a sexy moan are what I miss about having a woman. I break the kiss, and she looks dizzy.
Damn, I still got it.
“What’s your story?” she asks, kissing my jaw again. “Where were you going tonight? Leaving another hookup?”
I’m not about to tell her I killed a man earlier with a hot-shot. Oh, and I’m a doctor. Ignore the massive contradiction of my life.
“No, no hookup.” I kiss her neck. “I was heading home from a meeting.”
“At midnight?” She pulls back slightly.
There it is: the first flicker of uncertainty. I go still. Making sure she still feels safe matters.
“I have no plans to hurt you, unless you’re into rough sex. I can bring on the pain if that’s what you like.” God, just saying it turns me on. I’ve not let myself be with a woman in so long.
Scarlett’s eyes sharpen, not cower. “I can take a good, hard fucking.”
That shouldn’t send a jolt to my chest, but it does. This can’t be some random coincidence that my taxi runs into a beautiful woman who had nowhere to go, just happens to want a one-night stand, and likes it rough?
Maybe the universe thinks I’m owed something, but I doubt it. “I need to build up my stamina.”
“Oh?” she gives a dirty swallow.
“It’s been a while.”
“Really? I find that hard to believe.”
“I’ve been…busy.” I can’t say the last person I slept with was the mother of my child nearly two years ago, and she’s now married to my brother. Instead, I put Scarlett’s hands on my chest. “Undress me.”
“Absolutely.” She runs her palms across my shoulders and lifts the T-shirt over my head. My pecs flex and rise to meet her touch. Blinking, she says, “You’re covered in ink.”
“You object?” I ask.
“Not at all. I have tats, too. Down my right leg.” Her gaze stays low, trained on my chest. “Why didn’t you just leave me on the street?”
The knee-jerk answer is: I’m a doctor.
But for some reason, I don’t want her to know that right now.
“I guess when I saw you, I knew there was something special about you,” I say, my hands caressing her shoulders because she needs care right now. “And when you asked me to stay, I didn’t want to walk away.”
“Oh…” she replies, sounding like she didn’t expect such a deep answer.
“And once I decide I want something…” I bite back a groan, concerned I’m revealing too much. Even if it’s the truth. “I’m not great at walking away.”
“Want,” she whispers. “Or need?”
“Tonight?” I meet her eyes. “It feels like both.”
I cradle her in one fast move.
She gasps, “Wait, whoa. I’m too big, put me down.”
“Big?” I lay her out on the perfectly made-up bed, a bed that I plan to leave in a heap of messy sheets. “Do you see my arms, my legs? I got you, brat.”
“Damn, maybe I won’t want this to be for one night,” she mutters.
I freeze but push past the iron grip on my heart.
“One night,” I say, more to myself than her. “That’s all this can be.”
She searches my face like she might argue.
“You don’t want me for anything more than that,” I add solemnly.
“If you say so,” she whispers, seeming unbothered.
“Now that we’ve settled that.” I drape my body over hers and quiet her with another kiss, letting myself get lost in her.
“Mmm. You kiss so much better than my ex,” she moans into my mouth.
I won’t be so crass as to say the same thing. Ex-bashing isn’t cool when that ex gave you a child.
Plus, I’m enjoying the tangle dance of our tongues much more than I thought I would. The way she peeks that cute pink product of my destruction past her lips has my cock ready to punch a hole through my pants.
I need to get this going before it ends in a very embarrassing way. I move off the bed and stand up. Staring at this unexpected, amazing gift lying before me, I pop open the top button of my pants and slide them down my legs.
“Oh my God,” she mutters.
“Did you just say, Oh my God?” I fist my cock over the briefs.
“Yeah, like you don’t know you’re hot as fuck.”
Profanity and boldness? I like it. “You got a dirty mouth. How about I wash it out with my cum?”
“Yes, please,” she says, licking her lips.
Crap, I guess we both really needed this.
I smile, watching her lift off her shirt and then unclip the bra. Next, she shimmies out of her pants.
“Allow me.” I reach for her hips to slide down her panties.
They’re cotton, but still cute and sexy.
When she lifts her hips, reacting to me so willingly, something tightens in my throat. This is real. For once, I don’t feel numb.
I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop since the second I touched her. But nothing has felt so right in a very long time. She’s here. She’s choosing this. She’s choosing me.
As my gaze wanders down her shapely legs, one decorated with tattoos, she spreads them and shows me the most perfect, bare pussy. I might not survive this night.
I drop the panties, and my hungry stare lands right on a tight little slit.
“Fuck.” I step back and get completely naked.
Stroking my cock, I consider the reality. I’m going to fuck this woman, and I need to wear protection. That’s how I ended up with a son. I’d like more kids. Someday. I need to make things right with the kid I have before I have more.
My recklessness with Ana taught me to always carry a condom. But looking at that snug cunt, I want to bury my bare cock inside and feel the heat and wetness first.
I crawl on the bed and kiss Scarlett’s mouth hard, rubbing my length against the soft skin of her pussy.
“Touch me,” I whisper as I hover.
Being a brat, she runs her hands down my chest. Each finger finds every ridge of my abs. My heart cranks into high gear when finally, a very warm hand closes around my swollen cock.
“Fuck, baby.” I kiss her again. “Will you take me down your throat first?”
She grins and reaches for me. “God, yeah. Fuck my face.”
Jesus…
“Open,” I say, pushing a finger into her mouth. “Those are lovely teeth, please don’t bite me with them.”
“And hurt this amazing beast?” She strokes the full length of me.
“God, yeah,” I groan.
I move up and bring my cock to her mouth. She kisses the tip, drenching her lips with my pre-cum. As she fists my base, I slide into her mouth, and I swear, I might have just coded.
“Fuck,” I rasp with a sharp exhale, then move in and out.
My hips curl to get as deep as I can in this lush, warm mouth. Stars pop out behind my eyes watching her take my cock down her throat, her lips gliding wetly across every hard inch of me. Even though I’m gagging her, she’s smiling and humming in approval.
My balls thump with that warning shot of an impending orgasm.
“God, no. I have to stop.” I slowly ease out of her mouth. “I want to finish inside you.”
Her breath hitches. “Oh, I don’t…”
“I have protection.” I move away and grab a condom from my wallet.
I drop it on the nightstand and kiss my brat some more to calm down.
“Fuck,” I growl, palming both of her tits.
She moans as my thumbs flick her hard nipples.
“Every inch of you is made for me. How did I get so lucky to find you?”
“You didn’t find me, you ran me over.”
“That’s an exaggeration. And let’s be thankful that you’re unscathed. I can’t promise you’ll be intact and sane in a few minutes.”
If I last that long.
I lower my mouth to her right tit and suck the nipple while slipping my hand low to stroke the drenched slit between her legs.
“Oh, fuck.” Her back arches right off the top of the bed.
A darker side to my voice takes over, one I haven’t used in a very long time. I groan against her lips, “Spread your fucking legs for me and show me how wet you are.”
She obeys, and I decide I might never want to leave this room. She runs a finger through tight, glistening folds, and I join in brushing my thumb against her throbbing clit. But I can’t stop there.
I take two fingers and dip them into her wet heat. “So fucking tight.”
She whimpers, riding my hand.
I push my drenched fingers into her mouth. “Suck, baby. Taste how wet you get for me. For some man you met on the street and invited to your bed to fuck you senseless.”
“Please,” she moans. “I need you inside me.”
“Not yet,” I growl, looking down at her hungry gaze. “I want to make this tight cunt climax all over my hand first.”
With my fingers moving in and out of her, and my mouth drenching her nipples, Scarlett cries out and comes so hard that her hips buck and her legs shake.
Her cunt strangles my fingers and soaks my hand.
It hits me, I won’t be the same man walking out of here tonight. This woman will break me all over again. I feel the addiction crawling through my veins, tempting me to want more. More of a high. More of her.
I should stop, but that’s not what addicts do…