Chapter 12
Cormac
Darragh walks beside me through the faculty hallway with a look of reverence for a place he’ll miss. He stops to glance at the sidelight glass in a lecture theatre. As I descend into my own chaos, my new employment requirement twisting me inside out, I stop to let Darragh have a moment.
It’s not always about me.
Smiling, he strolls away from the door, but I stop him.
“You could have made your early warning more specific,” I snap. Too fast. Too raw. “I mean…”
“I was afraid you’d jump out of the car.” He meets my glare with one of his. “It’s not a terrible thing to be married.”
“A forced marriage would be.”
Darragh leans forward. “You’re thirty-three. You have a son. And you deserve to be happy.”
“You think I’ll find someone to marry me in a few months?” I scoff, teeth grinding. “What should I do? Put out a job posting?”
Darragh’s mouth twitches. “I believe what you’re thinking of is called a dating app.”
“Exactly, dating. Not mail-order brides.”
“You’ll find someone,” he says. “You’ll make it work. Look at what you’ve accomplished. I know you refuse to give yourself credit.”
“Because—”
“No because!” He pulls me into a quiet corner. “Cormac, you slipped. For what…six months when you were at your worst?”
“Yeah…” I lower my head to his shoulder. “You’re right.”
But he either doesn’t mention it or conveniently forgets that it was a car accident that blew up everything.
I was driving, blown out of my mind, fighting with Ana when the car flipped over.
Then we were both arrested. Darragh got called to come rescue his deadbeat brother.
Except, he took one look at Ana and left me in jail.
I have to let go of the past and work to once again figure out this puzzle of how to make my life work. Now that includes finding a wife. ASAP.
My heart betrays me with thoughts of dark curls, brown eyes, and a wet cunt taking my cock. I can’t want her. Can’t have her. She’s off limits.
Darragh watches me come out of my spiral. “You have until the end of the semester. One day at a time. And if this isn’t meant to be, we’ll figure something else out.”
“I’ll figure it out,” I bark and wait for him to react.
We’ve gone in these circles that usually didn’t end well for me, thanks to bad decisions.
But Darragh just checks his phone. “I have to get to my practice. You good with getting a cab home?”
“Sure. Go. I’m going to walk the campus,” I say. “Take it in.”
We stand there for a beat, and Darragh just claps my shoulder. No usual hug. Then leaves with a tight smile.
I push outside the nearest exit, and the late summer sunlight momentarily blinds me. I stand on a walking path alone. School doesn’t officially start for a couple of weeks. Soon, this place will be a mess of students rushing by with coffee and brimming with hopes of bright futures.
I take a deep breath and scan the grounds, knowing full well that I’m looking for her. I tell myself if I spot her, I’ll walk away.
Yeah, right.
I don’t even know her last name, but the scent of her is etched in my brain. I can’t ignore the memory of her pulse under my lips. Her laugh, her moan as I entered her. How her hair felt wrapped around my fingers as I fucked her.
Dark hair on the other side of the quad catches my attention, and I know instantly it’s her. Fuck, how am I going to manage that complication?
I slept with a med student. Who I can’t get out of my mind. She was the first person I wanted like that in a really long time. The first indulgence I let myself have.
I can’t let go of that night, how she begged me to touch her. Begged for my cock.
She is just another young, idealistic woman who saw a fantasy. Like Ana did in Vegas. Scarlett is the exact kind of girl I’m not allowed to want. Why did she have to be the one who kissed me like she could taste the real me?
She tasted like hope. And fuck, hope is a drug.
My phone buzzes with a text from Trace Quinlan, my best friend and now my brother-in-law.
Trace: Dinner tonight? Your sister misses you.
I’m already drowning in bad luck. Turning down a chance to see my sister will only make it worse.
Me: Count me in.