Chapter 23
Scarlett
Class wraps up, and my mind is still buzzing from listening to Dr. O’Rourke share a case study. It was mostly monologuing, but God, his passion.
And fuck all, I’m hot, bothered, and wet.
Thinking he’s about to dismiss us, I brace myself for the view of his ass in his tight jeans. But he doesn’t leave. He just stares at everyone with a curious expression. I glance around and see the women sitting up a little straighter, leaning in to hang on his every word.
“One thing before I dismiss you, I know you all have your lab and simulator assignments. I’m in need of volunteers to do on-call work with me,” he announces, voice even, carrying a weight I’ve never heard before from him.
“It’s not simulator work. I’m talking real emergency prep.
But not in a controlled and reliable environment like an emergency department.
It won’t be often, but when these calls come in, they will be…
demanding. If your focus is trauma and emergency medicine and your schedule is open, meet me in my office right after class. ”
Half the women in the lecture hall practically levitate with excitement. I watch Dr. O’Rourke leave without looking at me, and I’m not sure how to take that. He knows my focus is emergency medicine.
My schedule is full with additional classes to catch up.
Which is why I couldn’t keep my EMT job or even go part-time.
But the chance to work hands-on with an astute doctor like Cormac O’Rourke in a real-world emergency setting is worth less hours sleeping.
I can burn the candle on the other end. I have to at least look into it.
By the time I reach his office, there’s a line waiting outside the door. But then a slow parade of disappointed young women leaves his office. They pout and mutter curses under their breath. He rejected all of them.
Is it because they’re women? All of them are smart. You don’t get into Hamilton and make it to MS-3 by lacking anything. Could he want…me? My chest swells with something that feels greedy.
When it’s my turn, I knock once and step inside.
Two male students stand at attention in front of Dr. O’Rourke’s desk like soldiers awaiting orders. Voss and Mercer both hail from medical dynasties. Both are legacy students whose parents probably have their family names on hospital wings.
Dr. O’Rourke’s eyes flick to mine in surprise, widening for half a heartbeat before sliding back to neutral.
“Ford,” he says calmly. Too calm. “What can I do for you?”
“You said you need a team,” I counter, moving into the room. “I’m here to apply.”
Voss stiffens like he thinks the professor will pick me because of my last name. It’s more likely he’ll exclude me solely because we had sex.
Mercer shoots me a smirk like he thinks my being on the team will get me into his bed.
Dr. O’Rourke sits back in his chair, studying me, his gaze doing a small once-over. Not to check me out in any kind of sexual way. We’re all dressed the same. Jeans, T-shirts, hoodies. This is medical school, not charm school.
The professor is looking at me like he still can’t handle being so close to me. “Voss. Mercer. I’ll be in touch. Go.”
They leave, grinning like good little pets. When the door clicks shut, the space between the hot professor and me turns cramped with tension. Again. This seems to be the place where we can pretend the real world doesn’t exist.
Cormac crosses his legs and taps his fingers on the desk blotter. Staring me right in the face, he says, “Scarlett…” His voice comes out low, deep enough to scrape along my spine. “I’m sorry. No.”
“No, what?” I challenge, closing in on his desk. “No to me? No to women? Because that’s what all your groupies will think.”
His jaw jumps. “You know that’s not it.”
“Which one?” I fold my arms and tap one foot.
“It’s already hard enough that you’re my student,” he says. “You have no idea how much control it takes not to touch you.”
“You’re doing fine,” I whisper, because he shows no real interest in me at all. If he’s struggling, it’s a private war he’s battling alone.
Then something in his expression shifts, his eyes narrow, and his brows pinch together. The chair jerks, and he leans forward on his desk.
“A condition of my full-time employment is that I must be in a stable relationship before your father offers me a position.”
I blink and drop into the chair across from him. “Relationship?”
“Marriage,” he deadpans, acid in his tone. “Your father expects me to be married by the end of the semester.”
My heart clogs my throat. Why does that bother me?
“What does that have to do with—”
He reaches across the desk and pulls me forward. “How can I make a relationship work with someone else if I don’t trust myself to keep things professional with you?”
We trade breaths, and he looks like he might kiss me. And that would be the biggest mistake of his life at the same time.
The worst part isn’t that he doesn’t want me on his on-call team. He sounds afraid of wanting me anywhere near his life at all.
“I’m not asking you to want me less.” I meet his eyes. “I’m asking you to trust that I won’t use it against you. Or take advantage.”
That gets an eyebrow raised as I watch his white-knuckle restraint grow hairline cracks.
“Please,” I say to bring the conversation back to why I came here in the first place. “I… I don’t have any simulator teams this semester. I signed up late. And not everyone wants the dean’s daughter on their squad.”
“Damn it.” Dr. O’Rourke releases me. “I know emergency medicine is your path. And I want to help you. See you make it. But it will be too hard for me to be around you.”
“I worked in Dr. Lin’s emergency department.” I leave out that my mom had just died, and every shift chipped away more of my sanity. “It was tough, but it built scar tissue around my heart.”
“That’s not exactly a selling point.” He exhales, slow and grim.
I lean toward him, before I lose the courage and can’t look him in the eyes again. He tenses immediately, every line of him sharpening.
“Teach me how to do both, how to care, but also be strong,” I say softly. “I want this.”
His throat works like the words cost him something to swallow. “I don’t need someone to observe.” He forces out a humorless laugh. “When shit goes sideways in my world, it goes fast. People will die.”
His world? Mafia?
“I know about shit going wrong. I’m an EMT. Have been since high school. That and my ED experience make me even more qualified,” I say with a tone of confidence. “I know both sides of trauma care. I’ve been there!”
His eyes turn dark. Then he mutters, low and doomed, “I’ll think about it.”
“That doesn’t sound too promising.”
A smile curls slow and tense across his mouth. “You might be sorry.”
“Not a chance.”
He drags a hand down his face and lets out a rough breath. “Scarlett…”
“I’ll leave you to make your team decision.” I collect my bag and stand with his eyes on me.
This business that he has to get married by the end of the semester burns a hole in my stomach.
I wouldn’t mind us being professor/student with benefits.
After what I went through with Pierce, I don’t want a relationship.
He taught me that I can’t have both. That a romantic partner won’t want to be second to my career.
It’s best I don’t put pressure on Dr. O’Rourke any further right now. If I have any chance of being picked, he needs to view every aspect of working with me favorably. Without any sexual misconduct threat to his position here.
“Anything else?” he mutters.
“Nothing.” I pull my bag over my shoulder. “Nothing at all, Dr. O’Rourke.”
And by nothing, I mean… Everything.