Chapter Nineteen Griffin #2
“I’m Zoe Davies,” she said, holding out her hand.
She had a friendly face and bright eyes, and on her ring finger was a glimmering diamond.
I had a brief recollection of hearing their story during a piece on SportsCenter—they’d been named co-guardians of a little girl when one of their Denver teammates and his wife passed away.
Liam and Zoe eventually got married, adopted the little girl shortly after, and were now expecting one of their own.
“Please ignore any horrible advice my husband has given you.”
Even though I was on the cusp of a sweaty, hand-clenching panic attack, I mustered a friendly smile. “Griffin King. He really is doing a terrible job of making me feel better.”
“I’m being honest,” Liam said, undeterred.
Zoe patted his chest. “You always are, honey.”
“It’s not easy navigating this shit for men like us,” he continued, smacking Marcus on the chest when his attention wavered. “It’s hard to feel our feelings sometimes, innit?”
“Oh yeah,” Marcus said. “Big . . . big feelings over here.”
Zoe smothered her smile, and I could not restrain my eye roll. “The only feelings you have are in your little head, Henderson.”
Marcus flipped me off, which made Liam smile.
“We need to go,” Zoe told Liam. “We have to pick up Mira from school.”
Marcus perked up. “Little bit’s in school now? How’s she doing?”
“It’s fucking awful,” Liam barked. “We have to send her away every fucking day, and I have no idea if the little fucking prick boys are being mean to her, and it makes me want to punch something.”
I glanced at Marcus. “I thought you said he fixed his rage issues.”
“He did,” Zoe and Marcus answered in unison.
“Right.” I rocked back on my heels. “Well, nice to meet you both.”
“I’ll be in the car,” she told Liam, patting his stomach before walking away.
Liam leaned in. “I mean it, King—you’re fucked if her feelings aren’t changing like yours. You better figure that out before anything big happens.”
Marcus held up a hand. “Yeah, but what if she wants to have sex and then Griffin tells her no and can’t really explain why?
She’ll feel like shit, and then he’ll feel like shit because he made her feel bad about herself.
Then she’s got a complex because she thinks he doesn’t want her, and he’s left wondering for the rest of his miserable life what it would be like to have sex with her. ”
I groaned, covering my face with my hands.
Liam held up his hands. “I gotta go. Best of luck, mate.”
“That’s it?” I said, hands dropping ineffectually to my sides.
“Either that, or you just tell her you’re in love with her and see where the chips fall.” He shrugged. “Never know, it might not ruin your friendship.” He slapped me on the back. “Cheers.”
Marcus grinned. “Isn’t he great? I fucking love that guy.”
I sank down onto the weight bench and speared my hands into my hair. “I hate all of you right now.”
“Cheer up, dude. If nothing else, you’ll only be at Steven’s house for a few more days, right? You won’t have to see her anymore if you don’t want to or if shit ends badly.”
Marcus wandered off to start some weights, leaving me in the absolute misery of my thoughts. The day had felt so easy when I found the keys to Steven’s car.
Surprise her with a convertible! Why not? It didn’t mean anything. I was just doing something nice for a friend.
Except I wasn’t. I wanted to make her happy more than I’d wanted anything in a long fucking time. Craved it, even.
I got high off the feeling of making her feel good.
Was I really falling in love with her? I scrubbed a hand over my face and watched her finish up another rep with the trainer. Her face was pink from exertion, but her eyes were bright and her smile . . . God, my chest turned over looking at her smile.
I was fucked.
No matter what her feelings were doing. No matter whether we slept together or not.
I was fucked.
For a teeny, tiny speck of a moment, I indulged myself in what might happen if I just told her. If I came clean. If we slept together and it was as good as I imagined it would be and I poured my heart out to her.
That’s where my brain stalled. Where my imagination fizzled out.
There’d never been a time in my life, outside of the football field, where anyone relied on me for something big, something important. I’d never carried the weight of someone else’s emotional well-being. And if I came clean to Ruby, that’s what would happen.
If her feelings hadn’t changed and she was more than ready to bid me adieu when my time in Welling Springs was over, I couldn’t find myself—yet again—standing in front of someone important only to watch them walk away.
My jaw tightened uncomfortably, my brain looping around something Rachel had said to me the day she came over wearing Barrett’s engagement ring. “You’re good for a few things, Griffin. Forever isn’t one of them.”
Ruby wasn’t Rachel. That much was clear.
But at the end of the day, I was still me, wasn’t I?
If being myself came with a risk of hurting this person who’d become so important to me, then the best thing I could do was hold up my end of the bargain. I’d promised Ruby that I wouldn’t fall in love with her, and as far as she’d know, I’d keep that promise.
With a sigh, I watched her smile again and rubbed at the pinching sensation in my chest, knowing I’d have to lie to myself, and her, in order to do it.