Chapter 26
26
Caleb was always going to be incredibly loved. His four adoring grandparents thought his every gurgle and murmur was the most momentous thing ever to happen, all of which had been heightened by his terrifying start in life. His Uncle Joe and Aunt Esther were equally besotted with him, and even Danni’s mother had begun texting a bit more often, asking after him. She still wasn’t a doting grandmother, but it was far more than Danni had expected from her. Caleb was also adored by Danni’s friends and colleagues at the hospital.
Aidan and Jase had been particularly regular visitors, and they’d been getting in lots of practice as the weeks ticked down to the birth of their own baby. They’d offered to babysit, as had everyone else, but Danni and Charlie were nowhere near ready to take anyone up on the offer yet. They couldn’t bear the thought of Caleb being with anyone but them, and she knew it was something they needed to work on. They’d started counselling and, in the New Year, they’d be having more sessions to make sure they got to a place where their anxiety about being separated from Caleb didn’t end up damaging him. In the meantime, they were focusing on enjoying their first family Christmas, and the mountain of presents under the tree was yet another indication of just how loved their little boy was.
‘What time did you tell Connie we’d be there?’ As much as Danni loved all of her in-laws, she was in no hurry to dash over to Trengothern Farm. They’d be sharing the day with the people they cared about most, and would even be taking Maggie and Brenda with them. Connie and Richard had insisted on organising everything, so that Danni and Charlie wouldn’t have to lift a finger. She was incredibly grateful, and she was really looking forward to it, but right now, sitting on the sofa with Charlie, both of them still in their Christmas pyjamas, and with Caleb snuggled against her chest in his Santa Claus onesie, there was nowhere she’d rather be.
‘Not until 1p.m., so we’ve got plenty of time.’ Charlie stroked the side of Caleb’s face as he spoke.
‘I think Maggie wants us to get a move on; she’s after a walk.’ Danni laughed as the Labrador nudged at her leg. ‘Although Brenda will probably happily give up her walk, if it means she’s at the farm in time to get a look in when the turkey is carved.’
The Basset Hound opened her eyes at the mention of her name, lumbering over from her position by the fire, and promptly lying down again on top of Danni’s feet.
‘Sitting in the kitchen during meal prep is always Brenda’s favourite place to be, so that would definitely be her perfect Christmas. Especially as Connie’s such a soft touch.’ Charlie grinned. ‘But I’m already having my perfect Christmas.’
‘Me too.’ As Danni looked down at her son, her breath caught in her throat, and her thoughts drifted to Chloe again, as they had so many times before. In quiet moments, Danni often found herself wondering how she was doing, and whether she was getting the right help. Those feelings had intensified in the run-up to Christmas, as Danni and Charlie prepared to spend their first one as a family. Chloe should have been looking forward to the birth of her son, and to her first year of motherhood. Now she’d never get to watch Beau grow up. Instead, she was spending Christmas in a mental health facility, and her future was still unclear. In the days after being reunited with Caleb, Danni and Charlie had made the decision to write to the CPS to say they didn’t feel a criminal prosecution for Chloe would be in anyone’s best interests. It was clear that she’d been out of her mind with grief at the time she’d abducted Caleb, which they both believed had impaired her judgement to such an extreme that she hadn’t been able to grasp the consequences of her actions until it was too late. But there’d been no confirmation yet that Chloe wouldn’t be prosecuted. There were times when it felt like the wait for a decision was a dark cloud hanging over Danni’s head, so she had no idea how it must feel for Chloe.
‘Wendy and Gary are going in to see Chloe today.’ Charlie put his hand on top of hers.
‘How did you know I was thinking about her?’
‘Because I’ve seen that same look on your face so many times, and because I’ve been thinking about her too.’
‘I wish there was something else we could do for her. When it first happened, I wasn’t sure I could ever really forgive her, but I think I have now.’ Danni looked down at Caleb, his eyelids fluttering as he dreamt whatever it was that babies dreamt about. Despite the anxiety that they would need ongoing counselling to deal with, in the end it had been easy to forgive Chloe. What she’d put them through had made Danni realise once and for all that her fears about not loving her son enough were ridiculous. Whatever part of Nicola it was that made it easy for her to turn her back on her children wasn’t hereditary, because Danni loved Caleb with a fierceness that had left her speechless with fear, the moment she’d realised he might be in danger. Without Chloe doing what she’d done, Danni might never have fully realised just how powerful that love was, and the lengths she’d be prepared to go to in order to keep her son safe. She couldn’t say she was grateful for what had happened, but it had changed her forever in ways that weren’t all negative. And she was holding on to the hope that something positive might come out of it for Chloe too, but it was hard to imagine what that could possibly be.
‘Maybe you could tell her that? I think if I was in her position, that might help me.’ Charlie tucked a strand of hair behind Danni’s ear. ‘Just when I think there’s nothing you can do or say to make me love you even more, you find a way to surprise me.’
‘I’ve got something else that might surprise you.’ Danni reached under the cushion where she’d hidden an envelope and passed it to Charlie.
‘What’s this? We’ve already done presents.’
‘It’s something for me as much as you, and for Caleb too.’ Another smile tugged at the corners of Danni’s mouth, as she watched Charlie read the card in the envelope.
‘You’ve re-booked the wedding at the registry office in Truro? I’d marry you in a car park and it would still make me the happiest man alive, but I thought you wanted to wait until the summer and do it all like we planned?’
‘All of that stuff we were going to do doesn’t matter any more. I just want it to be you, me, Caleb and all of our favourite people. And to be honest I’ve already spent some of the money we were going to use for the wedding on something else.’
‘Should I be worried about what?’ Charlie was so lovely and she knew, even if she’d spent it on something ridiculous, like a rare coin collection or a flashy car, that he wouldn’t be upset, as long as she was happy. But she really hoped her investment would make him happy too.
‘Look at the picture on the back of the card.’
‘It’s a camper van!’ Charlie’s smile as he looked at her said it all. When she’d first fallen pregnant, it was something they’d talked about buying, especially after Gary had told them all about the one he was renovating. They’d even planned some of the adventures they’d eventually be able to take their son on, with Maggie and Brenda along for the ride. Except with a wedding to pay for, it had definitely been a case of ‘one day’ rather than something they’d do straight away. But after what had happened with Caleb, the idea of putting off happiness of any kind had seemed crazy. When she’d seen the perfect camper van for sale, she’d found herself making an offer before she’d had the time to change her mind, let alone talk to Charlie. It was only when she realised how much of the wedding budget it had used up, that she’d started to worry whether or not it was the right decision. Looking at his face again now, there was absolutely no question, but she had to ask anyway.
‘Did I do the right thing?’
‘You always do the right thing for us, Dan. Every single time.’ As Charlie kissed her, his words seemed to echo in the air around them and she made another decision she’d been weighing up for a while. It was time to try and do the right thing for someone else too, and there was no time like the present.
Wendy, Gary and the girls were due to join Beth and her family for Christmas Day. Gary’s son, Drew, would be there too, and they were all looking forward to seeing how excited Albert was now that the big day had finally come. But there was somewhere they all wanted to go first.
‘Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re here!’ The look of pure joy on Chloe’s face when she came into the visitors’ room and saw them made Wendy smile too. It might not be the ideal location to spend Christmas morning, but seeing her looking so well was the best Christmas present they could ever have asked for.
‘How are you doing, sweetheart?’ Wendy hugged her close, and Chloe nodded.
‘Better. I’ve had a message from the hospital and they’ve got permission for another extension to keep Beau with them. So, I’m hoping he’ll be able to stay there until my doctors say I’m well enough to go to his funeral.’ Chloe’s relief was obvious. Wendy had discovered that the hospital could seek special permission to override the usual twenty-one-day rule in extenuating circumstances and, after Chloe was arrested, she’d personally gone to speak to senior staff in the hospital mortuary to beg for their help. Thankfully, they’d been incredibly kind and it sounded as if they were doing everything possible to make sure Chloe could be there to say a final goodbye to her son.
‘That’s great news.’ Wendy hugged her again, releasing her so that Zara could hand over the gifts bags they’d brought in.
‘We bought you some presents.’
‘I haven’t been able to get you anything.’ Chloe’s face fell slightly, and Wendy reached out and touched her arm.
‘All any of us wanted was to see you today.’
‘Zara and I definitely don’t need anything, Dad’s been trying to bribe us, and he dropped off loads of presents, so the house looks like an explosion in John Lewis.’ Alice wrinkled her nose.
‘Yeah, it won’t change anything, but I might as well let him furnish the flat I’m going to get when I go to uni.’ Zara laughed, and to Wendy’s surprise and relief, Chloe did too.
‘I made you one of my famous chocolate logs too.’ Gary handed over the tin and it was no exaggeration to say the contents were famous. There was more chocolate than sponge involved, and it was the best cake Wendy had ever tasted, although she could only manage a small slice at a time, even though she considered herself a semi-professional connoisseur of cake. She was convinced it could turn the worst Christmas around too. She just hoped Chloe wouldn’t need anything to turn her Christmas around, once she’d handed over the letter that felt as though it was about to burst into flames in her pocket. She might as well get it over with.
‘I’ve got something else for you.’ She took a deep breath, holding the letter out to Chloe. ‘Danni and Charlie dropped it off, just before we left. She wanted you to have it today.’
‘What does it say?’ Chloe had gone deathly pale, and she didn’t reach for the letter, her hands still clamped to her sides.
‘I don’t know, sweetheart, I haven’t read it.’
‘Will you read it to me now? I don’t think I can do it.’ Chloe bit her lip and, as she held Wendy’s gaze, it was easy to see just how scared she was of what it might say.
‘In front of everyone?’
‘Yes.’ Chloe nodded, and Wendy peeled open the envelope and took out the letter, all the time willing it not to say anything that would hurt Chloe, but knowing there was a chance that even people as kind as Danni and Charlie might find it impossible not to lay some kind of blame at her door.
‘Okay, here goes.’ She blew out her cheeks, before starting to read. ‘Dear Chloe. We wanted to write to you today as Christmas is a time of year when anything is supposed to be possible. I’ve got to admit that, when we first got Caleb home, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to forgive you for what we went through. But in the last couple of weeks, it’s got easier and easier to do that. What happened has made us realise just how lucky we are, and that’s something we won’t ever be able to forget or take for granted again, the way most people do. It’s changed the way we do things, but I really believe those changes are for the better. I’ve already written to the CPS saying I won’t support a prosecution, and I’m going to write again in the New Year. The only thing I hope for, is that you find a better way of living, and a new perspective because of all of this too. Good things can come from the most difficult of situations, and it turns out that at Christmas anything really is possible. Yours, with hopes that the year to come brings you brighter days. Danni, Charlie and Caleb.’
Wendy didn’t know how she managed to get the whole letter out, especially as the words were already blurred by her tears when she reached the second line. And by the time she looked up, everyone around her was emotional too.
‘I can’t believe they’ve forgiven me.’ Chloe finally reached out and took the letter from Wendy, scanning over the words again, until she was crying and laughing at the same time. ‘They’ve really forgiven me, haven’t they?’
‘They have.’ Wendy held out her arms, and Chloe rushed into them. ‘It’s going to be okay now, and if Danni writes to the CPS again in the New Year, I can’t see them wanting to bring a case against you.’
Suddenly Chloe stepped back. ‘I got a call from the police yesterday, telling me they weren’t going ahead with a prosecution and that they wanted me to know in time for Christmas. They said they’d be writing to Danni and Charlie to let them know. And when you told me Danni had sent me a letter, I thought it was because she was so angry about the police dropping the prosecution.’
‘They might only get notified in writing, and you’ll probably get a follow-up letter too.’ Wendy tilted her head as she looked at Chloe again. ‘You don’t look as happy about the news from the police as I thought you would.’
‘I’m not.’ Chloe shook her head, a slow smile spreading across her face. ‘At least I wasn’t until I got Danni’s letter. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t going to be punished, because I felt like I deserved to be.’
‘No, you don’t. You’ve been through more than enough.’ Wendy squeezed her hand. When Danni had turned up with the letter earlier, they were the exact words she’d said. Chloe had been through so much, and no punishment the courts could hand out would be any worse than losing Beau. ‘You can start looking forward to the future now, and when you can come home.’
‘ Home .’ For the second time, Chloe went deathly pale, as if the idea of leaving the facility was suddenly horrifying. ‘I can’t say I like it here, but the thought of being on my own is even worse.’
‘You’re not going to be on your own, you’ll be coming home. To our house.’ It was something they’d already discussed and agreed upon as a family, and Gary was as on board with the idea as everyone else. So, when Wendy fixed Chloe with a look, she was ready to argue for as long as it took to persuade her that moving in, until she was really ready to be on her own again, was the best solution for all of them. Except there was no argument from Chloe, just another broad smile as she flung her arms around Wendy.
‘The girls are so lucky to have a mum like you, and I feel even luckier to have you as a friend.’
‘I’m so glad you feel that way and I don’t even mind you seeing me as a mother figure, as long as you don’t actually call me mum. That would be a bit too weird!’ Wendy pulled a face, as everyone else laughed.
‘Okay, I promise not to call you mum, but I will find a way to thank you for what you’ve done for me. I’ve got no idea what, because I can’t think of anything that would ever be enough.’
‘Just be happy, that’s all I want.’ As Wendy wrapped her arms around Chloe again she realised it was true. All she wanted for any of the people she loved was for them to be happy, and there was no question now that she included Chloe in that number. Everything they’d been through had taught her that love really could be found in the most unexpected of places. There was no such thing as loving too many people, or being loved by too many people in return. For years, Wendy had thought she was unlovable, but all she’d needed was to open her heart to let that love in. Just like Danni, it had changed the way she lived her life for the better, and she’d never forget the lessons she’d learnt along the way.