25. Kelsey
Chapter twenty-five
Kelsey
Seeing Ryan in my apartment was strange. He seemed out of place in this new life of mine, his large frame looking too big in the small kitchen nook, where he was currently pouring himself a drink of water.
I watched him, arms crossed protectively in front of my body, waiting for him to say something, but Ryan took his time. He finally sat down on my couch and pointed at the seat beside him.
“Come on, let’s talk,” he said calmly.
Reluctantly, I sat down. He looked good, handsome as ever. He had shaved off his beard, just how I liked him best, and his smell was so familiar.
Ryan took my hand, stroking my knuckles, and smiled at me.
“Kelsey, I want another chance. I want to make things right with you.”
I huffed and pulled my hand away. “You’ve got some nerve after everything you did. You emptied my account! ”
“Not because I wanted to harm you,” he said. “The roof was damaged during a storm. A branch broke off and punched a hole straight through. I had to pay up front to get it fixed.”
“And it had to be paid with my money?”
“I was still waiting for my client to pay up, and I didn’t want to take money from the investment fund. You know I hate taking money out of the fund. It’s meant for our retirement. Don’t worry about the money, Kel. I’ll pay you back.”
“You called my boss and told him I had no high school diploma.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Which is true, isn’t it? I only called your boss because I wanted to make sure you’re safe. I never meant to get you into trouble. It’s not my fault you lied to him. Did he fire you? If he did, I’m very sorry.”
“No, he didn’t fire me,” I said, “But he made me promise I would get my GED.”
Ryan laughed. “Back to school. You ?”
“Why is that so funny?”
“Well, you’re not exactly the academic type, are you?” He patted my leg. “Which is fine. I love you just the way you are. Not everyone needs to go to college.”
“But maybe I want to go to college,” I said.
Suddenly, that idea sounded stupid. It hadn’t sounded so stupid when I talked about it with Quentin or Arlene, but speaking it out loud in front of Ryan made me feel silly.
“Kel, you’re great at what you do, taking care of our home and all. And I’m sure you will be a great mother when we start our family. You don’t need a high school diploma for that.”
I frowned. Ryan had been nothing but critical when we were still living together. I cooked his meals wrong and washed his clothes wrong and was lazy and selfish and ungrateful for the things he provided .
As if he’d read my thoughts, he said, “I know I should have told you that more often. I never really appreciated all the things you did for me. I understand that now, and I want to work on it.”
“Work on it how?”
“Couples therapy,” Ryan said. “I want to work on our issues. I want to make our marriage work. Maybe a therapist can help us so you don’t feel hurt by the things I say all the time. You know I don’t want to hurt you. I only want the best for you.”
I swallowed hard. Thinking straight was difficult when he looked so handsome and smelled so nice and said all the right things. This was the first time he’d ever even acknowledged we had issues to work on. Before today, he’d always brushed my complaints off and told me I was too sensitive. Could I believe him? Was he really willing to work on things?
“What about Sarah?” I asked.
Ryan’s jaw tensed a little. “What about her?”
“She’s your new girlfriend, isn’t she?”
“No, she’s not my girlfriend. I admit she provided some distraction when you left me, but she doesn’t mean anything to me,” he said. “And it looked like you found some distraction too.”
“Quentin wasn’t a distraction,” I said. “I really like him.”
Ryan laughed. “Of course you like him. It’s obvious why.”
“It is?” I was confused.
“Because he’s a safe bet. A man who looks like that has no other option. He would take you as you are, flaws and all. You chose him because that way you wouldn’t have to face your own issues or better yourself. But Kelsey, you can do so much better than that guy.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Could that be true? Was Quentin only in love with me because he had no other options?
Ryan lifted my chin with his finger. “It doesn’t matter. I forgive you. It’s the past, and I want to look forward, fix our marriage, start a family. ”
“What?”
“You leaving really opened my eyes,” Ryan said. “I realize now how much I love you and how much you and our life mean to me. I want to start trying for a baby. Kelsey, I’m ready.”
My head was spinning. Just hours before, Ryan was nothing more than a painful memory from my past, but now here he was, saying all the right things, offering me everything I ever wanted. I felt like someone had shaken my insides like a maraca, and all my emotions were rattling around.
Ryan tipped my chin up and made me look at him. I searched his face for the truth in his words. He really had beautiful eyes, clear and blue like a cornflower. They looked just as mesmerizing as they had years ago when we met in front of that nightclub, when he saved me from myself.
“Kelsey, we’ve been through so much together. I have never given up on you, and I’m not going to give up on you now. You’re my wife.”
And he was my husband. My stomach clenched. Quentin… kind, intelligent, sensitive Quentin. My heart still longed for him, but I’d made a promise to Ryan: good times, bad times, the whole deal. He was right. You don’t just walk away from a marriage. You try to fix it. Ryan wanted to fix things, and I owed it to him to try too.
“Okay,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.
Ryan smiled widely and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “I’m the luckiest guy alive. Let’s pack your bags.”