Chapter 36 #2
“So I guess Nevada tried to fuck your old teacher.” He lowered beside me and stretched out his legs. “She gave him a little strip show and put her hands down his pants. Crazy, right? I mean, he’s a priest. That’s like so wrong on so many levels.”
A splinter wedged itself into my chest. “Sounds like a dumb rumor.”
“She sent texts about it to her friends, describing the whole thing in detail. He expelled her of course. I guess she lost her shit when she went home, tried to overdose on a bunch of opiates, and now she’s in a psychiatric hospital.”
Maybe I should’ve felt bad for her, offered up some prayers, and hoped for a quick recovery. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I felt nothing.
Nevada was the reason my mother found out about my relationship with Magnus. She was selfish and vindictive, and karma had come for her.
Tucker droned on about his friends at school and the few short weeks he had left until graduation. My thoughts drifted to Magnus, replaying our time together in the mountains, surrounded by trees and snow in our microcosm of happiness.
I would never feel that depth of joy again, but I was so grateful for the memories. They’d carried me through four months of hell and given me escape when I needed it most.
Fingers slid over my lace-covered thigh, pulling me back to the present. Tucker rested his arm along the bench behind me as he glided his hand toward the apex of my legs.
I reached down to smack away his touch, but Galen beat me to it. With his hands fisting the lapels of Tucker’s tuxedo, he dragged Tucker off the bench and shoved him across the veranda.
“What the fuck?” Tucker threw his arms in the air. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
“You”—Galen thrust a finger at Tucker—“will not fucking touch her.”
“She’s going to be my wife. I’ll touch her if I damn well please. As a matter of fact…” Tucker stood taller. “Get out of here. There’s no reason for you to be here when I’m around. I’ll protect her.”
Galen stepped behind me, returning to his post without comment. I appreciated that. Even though I could take care of myself, it felt good to have him at my back.
I rose to my feet and met Tucker’s livid gaze. He might not want to marry me, but over the last few months, he’d made it no secret that he wanted to fuck me.
Me and every other girl he set his sights on.
There would be no fidelity in our loveless, sexless marriage. Not that I cared.
“I’m never having sex with you, Tucker.”
“Yeah, right. We’ll be married by next year.”
“You will never touch me. Not even when we’re married. Get yourself a mistress. Get a whole goddamn harem. I don’t fucking care. You will never share my bed. We’re business partners. Nothing more. Do I make myself clear?”
“You’re a fucking bitch.”
“Does that make you feel better? Does calling a woman a bitch make you feel like a big, powerful man? Because you don’t sound like one. You sound like a spoiled little boy who didn’t get to put his fingers in the honey pot.”
With a growl, he stormed back inside.
“Have a lovely evening, darling,” I called after him. “Can’t wait to see you again.”
With a broken sigh, I turned back to the railing and closed my eyes. I’d made my bed, and I would lie in it. I just wouldn’t be lying in it with him or any man.
The floorboards creaked behind me, sounding Galen’s approach.
“You just got a nice glimpse of my future,” I muttered.
He shifted, and the weight of his suit jacket fell around my shoulders, protecting me from the cold.
“Thank you.” I pulled it tighter around me, feeling his heat still trapped in the fabric.
I missed Magnus’s heat, the cage of his arms, the warmth of his breath, the vibration of his voice, and even his bossiness. Especially that.
But what I missed most was his kissing. I closed my eyes, attempting to conjure the sensation.
The feel of that first brush of his lips on mine.
The drugging way his assertive tongue slipped past my teeth.
The taste of his hungry mouth, opening, deepening, trying to consume me. God, I missed him so fucking much.
“There’s more to this than that.” I blinked, my eyes growing hot and achy.
“I know.”
“What do you know?” A tear rippled down my cheek.
“I know your heart belongs to another.”
My breath stilled, and I pivoted to look at him. “Am I that transparent?”
“No. But it’s my job to watch you.” He removed a tissue from his pocket and brushed away the moisture on my face. “I see pain that only comes from heartbreak.”
“Do you report that to my mother?”
“No. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thank you.” I squinted. “What is your background?”
“Badassery.” He smiled with the whitest teeth, the darkest skin, and the kindest eyes.
And I believed him. It wasn’t the gun on his hip or his constant vigilance. I trusted him because, at gut level, I knew he was one of the good guys. He had my back.
“I don’t know what to do.” Do I go back inside? Do I try to do this sober? Or do I self-medicate and fade away? “I don’t know where to go from here.”
“Does this feel like rock bottom?”
“Yeah.”
“Then there’s only one direction to go.”
Up.
Missing Magnus was a painful way to grow up. He wasn’t a mistake. I would never regret the time I’d had with him.
He’d taught me how to live and let live, how to make every moment count, how to be more than what I was, how to experience what I learned, how to be taller and stronger for the struggle.
He taught me that the best things in life didn’t come easy.
He taught me how to love.