Run #3
Cash ran a thumb over my bottom lip as he continued in that whiskey-smooth voice of his, “I love every damn curse that comes out of this pretty mouth of yours…” He chuckled.
“Every defiant gaze you aim my way. I love your teasin’ smirk and how you get all fiery and pissed off at the drop of a hat.
I love how stubborn and resilient and witty you are.
How you ain't afraid to speak the truth no matter how harsh it is. I love that my family fuckin’ loves you, and how you can shit talk better than any man I know.
I love that you can keep me reined in without making me feel suffocated, and I love that you see me for who I truly am.
Not how the world sees me. Not how my Dad, or Mav and Ryder, or even Mama see me. ”
Well, what was left of my broken heart shattered at his words. I’d argue that not all of his family was that fond of me, or that I wasn’t anywhere near as witty and resilient as he seemed to think, but it wouldn’t do anything. And I wasn’t about to tell him that his feelings weren’t valid.
“Cash, I—” But I didn’t know what to say. My heart, my head were all jumbled and overloaded, like a computer with too many tabs open. It’s like one of those stupid rainbow wheels circled around and around in my brain. I couldn’t figure out what to say, let alone feel.
Cash pulled me to him, and damn me, but I didn’t resist. Placing my hands on his chest, I looked up at him, hanging on to his every word as he spoke.
“Look, I ain’t askin’ you to marry me. I ain’t askin’ you to move in, or anythin’ drastic like that.
I just…I just want a chance. I…” He ran his fingers into my hair and cupped the back of my head. “Let me love you, Ollie.”
My vision blurred until I could only see the silhouette of him. Well, how the hell was I supposed to resist that? My chest felt tight and full, like it was going to burst. It hurt…but in the best fucking way. Was this what love felt like? I felt dizzy with emotion, lightheaded.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and opened my mouth, but nothing came out still.
Something flickered in his gaze—sadness or disappointment, maybe—but in the next instant resolve took its place once more.
“If that’s too much for you right now, I can wait.
I can be your friend. I can—I can be your fuck buddy even, if that’s what you want.
I’ll do whatever,” he stammered, his words becoming more and more desperate as they tumbled out of his mouth.
“Cash…”
He chewed his bottom lip a moment and blew out a breath, a strangely calm look settling over his features. “If you don’t want any of that, If—” he swallowed and cleared his throat “—if I’m the reason you feel like you needa leave, then I’ll go.”
“Cash—”
“No, I’ll go. You built somethin’ here, Ollie. You got friends, you got a job, you got a family. I ain’t gonna let you give that up cuz you feel like you gotta get away from me. So, I’ll leave. I won’t come around. I won’t bother you. I’ll let you go. Let you live your life.”
I couldn’t breathe. The weight of his words hit me like a fucking sledge hammer to the chest. I was the one breaking his heart by leaving, putting him through the exact same misery as that girl he’d loved before. And here he was, trying to make sure I was happy.
Who knew Cash Mooney could be such a damn romantic? I knew he was suave, a smooth talker, but this… There was something so earnest and genuine about his words. It made my knees weak.
I didn’t deserve him. His kindness, his understanding, his love. None of it.
How was it possible that he loved me? In spite of my flaws. In spite of me being an absolute broken mess of a human being.
He was stupid, crazy. Maybe, definitely, both.
Apparently, I was just as stupid and crazy as him, though. Which was no surprise. We were mirrors of each other after all.
I loved him. I’d loved him for a while now, but I’d been a foolish, spineless coward.
I loved how funny and cocky he was. How he called me out on my bullshit.
How he always pushed me harder and further than I thought possible.
I loved how much he believed in me. How he was always there when I needed him, soothing my anger or worries with nothing more than a smirk or inappropriate joke.
I just…I loved him.
“Come on, Ollie,” he murmured, “Talk to me. Let me in. Tell me what you’re thin—”
I placed a finger to his lips. “Do you ever stop talking?”
His gaze narrowed, defeat swirling to life. “I just professed my love to you, and you want me to shut up?”
God, was he really not getting this? Had I driven him to such a low state that he couldn’t even tell I was joking?
A soft little laugh found its way up my throat as I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and drew him toward me. “Are you gonna kiss me or not?” I breathed.
A bright, brilliant smile ignited on Cash’s face—brighter than the sun, the moon, the stars even. With one hand knotted in my hair, he dropped the other to my ass, pulling me tighter to him, almost like he was trying to fuse us together.
“Don’t mind if I do, sugar,” he replied before dipping his mouth to mine.