Chapter 37
Serenity
After my eight-hour shift, I collapse onto the sofa. My feet dragged the entire time, but I pushed through. Not even my shifts at the hospital made me so exhausted, and we were always understaffed.
Everything Victor told me at the festival has been running through my mind for the past two weeks. I can’t believe I owe them that much more money. The original sum wasn’t even that much. But if the loan sharks want it, why haven’t they done anything?
I’m grateful Victor didn’t try to throw more money at me. And now that I’ve had more time to sit and think about it, Sully offered to look into Victor for me, and I agreed. Maybe it was the fact Sully hasn’t gotten back to me about it yet that it felt like a violation.
Even so, being mad is unacceptable. It must’ve been more shock I was feeling rather than flat out anger. Then adding on top the extra money, I just couldn’t look at Victor anymore. He must think I have bad taste in men.
“Summer?” I ask from my spot. My limbs are too heavy to lift. “Where are you?”
A moment later, Summer and Annie come barreling into the living room. Summer giggles as Annie chases her around. As much as it makes my heart happy that she likes her nanny, I can’t help but doubt myself.
“Mrs. Barlowe,” Annie starts, and heat radiates through my chest at being addressed by Victor’s last name. “I was hoping I could talk to you before I leave today.”
The giddiness evaporates as I take in her frown. “What’s going on?”
Annie looks to Summer and says, “Can you go get the drawing you made earlier?”
Summer nods and runs off. Great. If she’s getting rid of Summer, it can’t be good.
Annie turns her attention back to me. “I have to give you my two-weeks’ notice.”
My heart falls to the floor, but I try to keep a neutral look on my face. “May I ask why?”
“I have some family drama I have to deal with, and they live in California. I can’t exactly take care of Summer from there.”
I nod. “Of course. If you come back soon, and would like to, I’d love for you to continue being Summer’s nanny.”
Annie smiles. “Absolutely.”
***
My stomach is tied into knots as I sit inside my bedroom.
Summer is playing outside with a stone-faced Isabella while I finish getting ready.
If anyone can get her to crack a smile, I’d put my money on Summer.
I invited my family and friends along with Victor’s dad and sister for a barbeque, but Lana declined the invite, claiming she had work to do.
A loud feminine voice drifts through my open window, pulling me from my thoughts. “If we can’t get a story today, we can kiss this gig goodbye.”
“I don’t feel comfortable making up stories,” another woman replies.
We’re having a simple family get-together, and these reporters have nothing better to do than crash my party.
“Do you think he knocked her up?”
I gasp and stand to shut the window. Hearing those damn reporters will only heighten my anxiety more. Why do people always assume when a wedding is rushed that it’s because of a pregnancy? Sometimes, maybe, but—
Wait. Now that I’m thinking of it, when was the last time I had my period? I press a hand to my pounding chest before pulling out my phone to check the calendar even though I already know what day it is.
My head spins. All the signs of pregnancy were there. I’ve been more tired than usual, nauseated every morning … I just thought it was because I picked up more volunteer shifts, and I usually skipped breakfast.
How is this possible? Well, I know how the mechanics work, but we always used a—
Shiiit. I don’t think we used a condom last time. We were so swept up in the moment, and I’m not on birth control. I didn’t need to be when entering the contract, so I never thought about it.
How will I tell Victor?
We haven’t discussed having kids together, but he needs to know. Our relationship was only supposed to be a temporary thing. No matter how much he claims otherwise. But I also can’t deny he’s a natural with Summer.
He’s also a natural at hiding things.
I bite my lip, shoving that thought from my mind.
There’s no time for me to dwell on that stuff if I’m pregnant.
Even if he wants kids, this is big. Huge.
I know firsthand how a child can change a relationship—sometimes for the worse—which is utterly wrong.
Summer is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I couldn’t think of what my world would be like if she never entered it.
Leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, I rub my face. I’ve been a fool this whole time, thinking it could be just sex. Victor wiggled his way into my heart, and I still don’t want to admit it.
He has been so patient, kind, and loving to both Summer and me. I can’t help but wonder if this baby will change him as it did Paul.
Stop thinking like that. Paul had already changed according to Victor’s files.
I inhale, trying to slow my brain. Maybe I’m overreacting. My period could be late due to stress. Until I have a positive pregnancy test in my hand, I need to relax. I turn the phone screen back on and tap on Harmony’s name.
Can you come to my bedroom?
For once, Harmony doesn’t jump to respond. Nausea rolls through me as the minutes tick by.
A knock sounds at the door. “Please, tell me you aren’t naked because I’m coming in.”
I laugh despite the tears forming in my eyes as the door swings open. “Why even bother?”
Harmony shrugs. “Mom always taught us to knock, but I don’t have the patience.”
She must see my watery eyes because she dashes to my side and sits beside me. “What’s wrong?”
I sniffle and rest my head on her shoulder. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” I glance around to make sure no one is right outside my door. “Can you do me a favor without alerting anyone?”
She nods once, her hair tickling my nose with the movement. “This has to be serious if I can’t tell anyone. I’ll do whatever you need.”
Taking a deep breath, I say, “I need a pregnancy test. I have to know the result before I go outside.”
Harmony pulls away from me, and I glance up at her. Her face is tight, and her eyes are wide, but she says nothing. She gets up and heads out the door as if hellhounds are on her heels.
A baby. Summer will have a sibling. It won’t be just her and me against the world anymore. I sigh. If I’m being honest with myself, having Victor on our side has made things better. Made both Summer and my life brighter with his easy smiles.
A soft knock startles me. Victor pokes his head in the open doorway. “Are you coming outside?”
I straighten, praying he doesn’t notice anything off about me. “Yes. Can I have a little more time?”
Victor quirks a brow as he nears me. “Of course, but you already look perfect.”
I roll my eyes as he sits beside me and wraps his arm around me. “I appreciate the compliment.” I search for an excuse, but I’m not the greatest at lying. “I’m waiting for Harmony. Is Summer okay?”
He nods before pressing a kiss to my cheek, and guilt gnaws at me. But I can’t tell him until I’m certain.
“She’s still playing with Isabella.” He cups my cheeks and gives me a slow, soft peck on the lips. As I’m about to deepen it, he pulls back and says, “I’ll be downstairs with our guests until you’re ready.”
I’m such a shitty person for not telling Victor about my suspicion. But, why bring it up if I’m not sure yet?
My thoughts roll back and forth between whether or not I should’ve told him for about another twenty minutes until Harmony is bursting into my bedroom with three bags full of … stuff. She closes the door behind her before coming to me.
She kneels in front of me with the bags still on her arms. “No matter the result, Auntie is here.”
I try to peek at what she bought. “Why do you have three bags?”
“I bought like ten different brands of pregnancy tests, candy, and lots of junk food.”
“Don’t you think ten is a little excessive?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve heard these things can fail.” She rummages through a bag, picking out a few boxes. “Also, if they say negative today, you can save one for the morning when it’s the best time to test.”
I chuckle. “I’ve been through this before.”
Harmony shrugs. “Yes, but back then I wasn’t a part of the test buying. I didn’t know you were pregnant until you were three months.”
Placing a hand on my sister’s, I stop her frantic movements. Even though she’s as nervous as I am, just having her here is like a calming balm. “Thank you for being here for me.”
Tears fill her eyes. “I’ll always be here for you. Remember that I can be your first call, and I’ll drop anything.” She straightens. “Now, go to the bathroom, take at least two tests, and just pee everywhere.”
I nod and grab the boxes in her hand. As I close the bathroom door behind me, my body trembles. I inhale a deep breath before opening both boxes. I’ll have to be talented to complete both tests in one bathroom visit, but like Harmony said, I’ll have to pee everywhere.
Placing both tests on the sink, I set a timer.
I pace around the small bathroom, biting on my thumb nail.
Why does three minutes feel like an eternity?
I can’t help but wonder how Summer will react.
When Mom told me I was going to be a big sister, at first, I resisted.
I didn’t like the thought of sharing her.
But the moment we brought Harmony home, she was so tiny and fragile I decided right then and there to protect her.
My phone chimes, and when I check it, it shows the timer went off. Thank goodness no text from Victor.
I pick up the tests, and my mouth turns dry. My heart hammers against my ribcage until I’m certain the bones will break. Positive. Both of them.
Stumbling out of the bathroom, I make it to my bedroom with the tests clutched in my hand.
Harmony is pacing around my room, and when I enter, she looks over at me. “So?”
It almost feels wrong to tell someone else before Victor, but if I refuse to tell her, she’ll know. “Summer is going to be a big sister.”
Harmony squeals and pulls me in for a hug. “I’m so happy for you.”